Being with “True” Family

On the eve of our Christmas weekend, I have to say my thoughts are very much with my family. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful, supportive, fun, and loving family. I know many of you feel the same way. But on the other hand, I have known too many people that don’t have strong bonds with their relatives. The reasons for this are all over the map but in the end, these reasons aren’t as relevant as realizing what family really means and being with your “true” family on the holidays.

The phrase “Home is where the heart is” can be easily transformed into “Family is where the heart is”. It’s the same thing. I remember on another Christmas years back, seeing a news segment about a gentleman who won the lottery but without even a bit of hesitation he immediately determined he would not be leaving his job.

Many of us would probably think, “You suddenly have all this money, and you still want to work? Why?”

Well, as it turned out, he had a very good reason. He said it was because his work crew is his family. That is where he feels he belongs, and no amount of money is going to buy him that feeling anywhere else. I really thought that was great.

I hope you all are able to be at the place where your heart lies this weekend, where the people who make you feel loved and let you know that you belong with them are gathered around you. If it’s not actually your relatives, then hopefully you are surrounding yourself with those people who were truly your other kind of family, the people you laugh with and the people who are there for you 24/7.

This weekend, I hope you are exactly where you want to be and are making sure all those around you know how much they are loved and appreciated.

A very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all.

The Connection Between Wealth and Giving

There are various reasons and motivators that push people to go after great wealth. But the real bottom line motivator to make even a little money is simply survival because we all need money for food, clothing, and shelter.

Thankfully, most of us have the basics to survive, especially here in the good ole USA. A large part of the reason for this is because of the great freedom and the wonderful free enterprise system that allows even a person born into poverty a good chance to rise above it all and make lots of money and even a fortune starting from scratch, as long as they are willing to put in the effort and the work.

One of the more unique motivators for achieving wealth can be that someone wants to make a lot so that they can give a lot. Now, some people would question that saying, “Why would that push or motivate people to achieve great financial success?”

My answer to that would be, “Because it can make the giver feel on top of the world with wonderful inner feelings that last and last. Plus, it’s a great legacy that can and will linger on long after the giver has passed on.”

I’ve been saying this for years, and I’ll say it for years to come. That feeling of giving back is so very good for the body, mind, and soul. That wonderful feeling can be had from giving both money and non-money stuff. Think of how you feel when you give someone a gift, or do a big favor for someone, or give a great compliment and you receive sincere, enthusiastic, and emotional thanks. There are not many feelings that are a greater reward than what you get when you are a giver.

So, if you and I really take the time to think it through, we may well see what a great motivator it can be for us to push ourselves to make more money so we can give more to others.

Also, never forget all those other things we can give–everything from sincere compliments and praise, our time, our service, and our sincere love and attention to others. The return on these kinds of investments are many times more satisfying than the return we get on our money investments.

My motto is becoming, more and more, “Give more to live more.” Or better yet, “Give more so others can live more!”

Dark Times in the Midst of Great Success

Life is very interesting and can have huge ups and big downs. Most people think that if they make a lot of money all their problems will be solved. I certainly thought that. At least until I made a few million dollars.

I can’t really complain but, I have to say, I was surprised by some of the feelings that came up after making my fortune. Instead of finding all my problems solved, I found myself struggling emotionally. I still struggle a bit now, but it’s nothing compared to when I reached my financial peak. I didn’t, and still don’t, have any problems with money or trying to manage all my properties, but something else popped up. I was getting depressed, a lot, and way too often.

In the last year, however, I have made some great progress in that part of my life. First, I identified where most of the depression seemed to be coming from. Probably the biggest thing that brought on the depression was the huge change in my routine. We humans really do need some routine in our lives and when I had reached a very high point in my business life, I thought, okay, now I need to make some big changes so I could better enjoy my success.

I started by putting my kids in charge of my property management and some of the money management. At first, I was very satisfied with this new arrangement, but not too long after that I found that I missed the routine associated with managing my properties and money. Playing tennis and working out was helpful, but only a bit.

I knew I had to do something about this, so I started reading many books on the challenges of retirement and what can be done to overcome them. One of the best books I read was Mood Cure written by Julia Ross. This book pushed me to look into vitamins and supplements as well as pushing myself to set up a new routine. So, I did that and got a huge lift from the supplements and vitamins. They really do wonders for the brain and can help a person overcome depression, lifting the mind and spirit to a much higher level!

I also found studies that show how much serotonin can lift you out of depression or just low moods in your daily activities. Part of the problem for most of us is that we are surrounded by enemies that lower our serotonin. Things like too much caffeine, chronic stress, a lack of exposure to natural light, and a lack of physical activity can all throw your serotonin off. So, I work on relaxing, getting outside, and staying physical.

Depression can be really tough because once you’re in it, you can lose the motivation to work on getting out of it. But you can do it. Just take one small step at a time. Starting with vitamins and supplements is a great way to do that, as well as reading some great books that will help you figure out what is best for you.

A Real “Ace” Book

I recently hooked up with an old friend that I hadn’t talked to or emailed for years and years. Yep, it was back in my high school and college days when Albert Goerig, who we called Ace, and I were both on the track team. We were pole vaulters. I think my highest vault was 14 feet 1 inch. I was very proud of that, but I think Ace vaulted higher than that!

We are both turning 80 in less than two years, so neither one of us still pole vaults. However, I do play a pretty good game of tennis. I don’t think Ace does, so I’ll just have to challenge him.

Ace, like me, has written several books. He was so kind as to send me one called Time and Money: Your Guide to Economic Freedom. Wow, this book talks about so many of the things that my books talk about. Everything from how important it is to set goals to keys to motivation to how important these things are for success in your life.

To give you an idea of what good advice and directions you can find in Ace’s book, here’s a partial list of chapter titles and subtitles you’ll find in those pages.

• Your Personal Story and Game Plan
• The Importance of Saving
• The illusion That Money Will Make Us Happy
• How to Change Your Past Behavior
• The Time and Money Game Plan for Economic Freedom
• Investing for Economic Freedom
• Enjoying Life Now
• Paying Off Your Mortgage Early
• Getting Back in Sync with Time

These are just a few of the many great topics Ace writes about in his super motivating book. He has a website, doctorace.com, where you can find free videos on step-by-step debt reduction and simplified investing. You can download his two newest books for free on the site as well.

I highly recommend you go get a copy of Time and Money and read the entire book. You won’t be sorry that you did!  It is so accurate and his words would be helpful for all of us humans!

Living Large Despite Failing

Back in 2015, Mitt Romney, the 2012 GOP candidate for President, made some powerful comments to graduating students at Utah Valley University. He advised the students he spoke in front of “to experience a fulfilling, purposeful life.” He called that living “a large life”. What great advice. We all need to go out and live large, not just when we’re young, but throughout our entire lives.

However, people often hesitate to live large. Why? Because most of the time, they fear their potential failure.

“Failures don’t have to define who you are,” Romney said in that same speech. “Through all my occupations, I have experienced successes and failures. I am asked what it felt like to lose to President Obama. Well, not as good as winning. Failures aren’t fun, but they are inevitable.”

The thing about failures is that they come hand in hand with success. It seems to me, from my experience, that the number of failures I’ve had is in direct proportion to how large I’ve tried to live. So, yes, I’ve had a ton of failures, but some of those have led to some huge successes. And the reason for those successes was that I learned so much from my failures.

I remember one huge loss that I learned a valuable lesson from that then led me to some very, very large successes. I had decided to lend a large amount of money using a restaurant as collateral. Big mistake on my part! Why? Because I don’t know much about that kind of business, so if it failed, I certainly wouldn’t know how to run it. And guess what? It did fail, and I lost almost all of what I had loaned.

What did I learn? Well, first I found out that restaurants have a very high rate of failure and, second, I learned that I shouldn’t stray from what I know best. Not that I shouldn’t ever loan money, but if I do, I should loan it on assets that I understand as well as being on improved real estate which, ideally, would also be income producing.

With those guidelines in mind, I forged ahead and made many millions of dollars’ worth of loans that were backed up by more familiar types of real estate. Those ventures were largely very successful. Later, I discovered that I could do even better by owning the right kind of income-producing properties. I also, very successfully, ventured into the development of condos and warehouses, where the profits were even bigger. Those did come with increased risks, but they were risks I was willing to take because I knew enough to be comfortable with those types of properties. Much, if not most, of the success I had in those ventures came from lessons learned from my failures and my efforts to live large.

Now, living large for you may not be about investing in real estate. It will mean different things to different people, but keep in mind that the term refers to more than making money. As Romney says, it’s about “expanding your world and engaging in your world, constantly learning, nourishing friendships, overcoming reversals and servicing others.” In other words, there are plenty of opportunities for you to live large in a way that is meaningful to you and boosts your life and the life of those around you.

So, what are you doing, or will do, to live large and take your life to the next level?

Only 380 Hours Till the New Year

So, do you think it’s too early to start on your list of New Year resolutions? I think it is very helpful and more productive to start thinking early about what you plan to do and accomplish in the new year. For me, if I write them down as I think of them, I’m so much more driven to follow through and carry out those resolutions.

So, no, I don’t believe, at all, that it’s too early to begin making your list. It’s only about 2 weeks before the new year comes in! Make you own list based on what you want out of your life in the next year and beyond but here are some ideas.

COMMON RESOLUTIONS

• Save more money this year.
• Work on better health, including exercise, diet, weight loss, and drinking lots of water.
• Travel more! One of my favorites. I usually pick specific places too, places that are unique and exotic, in the USA and overseas.
• Spend more time with family and friends.
• Spend more time reading and writing.
• Spend time to organize and do it regularly.
• Work harder at living in the right now moments.
• Donate and volunteer for a good cause.
• Write to yourself and give self-compliments.
• Set up new and good routines.
• Meditate on a regular basis.
• Look for, and make, new friends.
• Work on having more gratitude for others and your life.
• Do little acts of kindness on a regular basis.

I try to make resolutions that are realistic, and I usually put a time frame or limit on each goal. That way I am more likely to succeed. It’s always a good idea to take time to review last year’s resolutions and make note of the ones that you followed through on, and the ones you didn’t, and then analyze why you accomplished the successfully completed goals and why you didn’t succeed with others.

REASONS YOU MIGHT FALL SHORT ON RESOLUTIONS

• Resolutions were way too big or unrealistic.
• Too much thinking and not enough doing or follow through.
• Lack of detailed planning and scheduling.
• Not fully believing in yourself.
• Feeling overwhelmed by how much you will have to do.
• Failure to write down your resolutions.
• Not ready for change.

I hope you agree with me that it’s not too early to start thinking about making note of what your new year’s resolutions are going to be. For me, just writing this blog has got me thinking quite hard about my own new year’s resolutions.

I’m going to repeat myself, but this is important and so very helpful… take time to review last year’s resolutions and try to understand why you succeeded on some and why you fell short on others. Consider what you may be able to do this year to make sure you will have a better success rate in the coming new year.

The Social Happiness Factor

I will get back to a more strictly financial theme in a week or two, but today I want to talk a bit more about health and longevity. Without those two things in your life, making a ton of money does not end up being very important. Making money, growing it, and keeping it are very important in anyone’s life but it is not the most important thing we work towards.

Years ago, someone asked, after the death of the richest man in the world at that time, Howard Hughes, “How much money did Howard Hughes leave when he died?” And that question was answered in three simple words: “All of it.” You can’t take it with you and it’s doesn’t help you much if you aren’t here to enjoy it.

Although I’ve talked a lot about how important it is to eat right and exercise for good health and longevity, there is one more critical element that has been proven to boost your health and add years to your life, something that I think we all need to pay more attention to. It is the “social” aspect of your life. Having an active social life also lifts your “happiness factor”, as Seth Godin points out in his book, Tribes.

There are some very good studies that shows how having a strong and active social life helps extend your longevity. I read an article by Holly Richardson last year where she told of a study on 3,000 women who had breast cancer. The article says, they “found that those who went through cancer alone were four times more likely to die from their disease than those with 10 or more supportive people.” The article goes on to note that a “six-year study in Sweden found that men with heart disease were much less likely to have heart attacks if they had good friends around them than those without that social support.”

From my casual observation, I’ve notice that the older many people get, especially men, the less social they are, whereas women tend to stay more social. Maybe that is one reason that women tend to outlive men.

I’ve noticed in my own life that the older I get the less I tend to expand my social life. I used to have a number of “tribes” that I belonged to but now basically I have only my “tennis tribe” and the other is a social club my wife and I belong to. But like I’ve said in many past blogs, “When I start preaching for my readers to challenge themselves in different parts of their life, I am also preaching to myself.”  And now by writing this blog I find I am pushing myself to create or join another tribe or two, knowing that I will most likely expand my social life and lift my happiness and contentment levels in the process.

Norway is said to have the happiest people in the world and it’s because they have broader and better social relationships. Norway was ranked the happiest nation by the 2017 United Nations’ Sustainable Development Solutions Network. It has been found that in addition to a good social life, happiness also comes from helping others such as taking part in volunteer work.

So now we know two more thing that will help us live fuller and longer lives, and it’s something besides making money. It’s getting out and being social and helping others. Now those are some great goals you can look forward to creating and fulfilling!

Money Can Buy Novelty

It’s too bad that much of the time money, especially having a ton of it, gets a bad rap. The negative view of money probably started a very long time ago, maybe even before the Christian bible made the comment that “the love of money is the root of all evil.” I do believe that tons of money can ruin some people’s lives, especially if they come into that money overnight and not by their own hard work over many years. But let me talk about one super wonderful thing that money can do for you, especially if you are wise enough to do the right things with that money.

It seems that way too many people think that the best thing to do with lots of money is to go out and buy a lot of stuff, especially fancy and high status goods. But that stuff can quickly become worn out and/or very boring. Consider the following as an alternative and one that can, and will, jump start and excite your brain as well as lasting a very long time.

This is all about giving your brain a huge dopamine boost through experiencing new and novel things. You see, the human brain craves novelty, and money makes it so much easier to give yourself novel experiences. Gregory Berns in his book Satisfaction says, “Novel experiences are the surest route to satisfaction.”

As I write these words my wife and I are on a flight to the French Rivera. Just minutes ago we had lift off and as we did, believe me my brain got a big dose of dopamine and that’s just the beginning. We’ll be staying in Cannes at the Carlton Intercontinental Hotel and then later in another 5 star hotel in Nice. Then we’ll drive to the Italian town of San Remo to meet an old Swiss friend, Reto Moro, who I met 30 years ago on a tennis court in the south of Germany. We are visiting places, some of which are totally new to me or, in other words, ‘novel’.

Castles, old churches, new restaurants and all that I will see will pump my brain with dopamine. As you probably know dopamine is the natural brain chemical that makes you feel so very satisfied. I just love it. For years I didn’t have a clue about this thing called dopamine that was making me feel so good, but I certainly knew that I got a huge charge and brain boost by my visits to new places, so much so I came up with my bucket list of trying to visit every country in the world. I currently have hit 84 countries and my wife tells me that since I am now 70 years old I better pick up the pace—there are, at present, 196 countries in the world!

I guess I could have spent my money on fancy new cars and other expensive stuff but I’m pretty sure the novelty of a new car wouldn’t last very long. Traveling to new places has given me great memories that will last for many, many years, especially since I can easily re-stimulate my brain chemicals with so many pictures and videos!

The bottom line is, it’s true that money can’t necessarily buy happiness, but it can open up so many possibilities and make it easier to obtain more novel experiences. It gives one more time to carefully and creatively design, plan and carry out a wide range of novel experiences. So now I hope I have given you another good reason to push yourself to earn, save and invest your earnings.

 

Wants are not Needs

Ok, let’s talk about money.

A few days ago I was thumbing through a book I wrote back in 1983, The Courage to be Rich, when, in Chapter 4–The Fallacy of Working for a Living, I found a quote from a guy by the name of Joe Karbo (who, sadly, passed away from a heart attack at the young age of 55). The quote was: “Most people are so busy earning a living they never make any money.” What Joe was saying is that most people are ‘wage slaves’ and never figure out that the key to wealth is really not your earnings or wages. Yes, wages have a part to play but only if you do the right things with a portion of your wages. Your wage doesn’t have to be huge but the key, of course, is saving some of it and setting it aside then letting it build up enough for you to make the right investments.

Of course, the problem with most people is they don’t use enough discipline to control their spending. They think there are things that they just have to have now such as a new dress or car, a fancy night out on the town, an extravagant vacation, etc. I find it very interesting that people choose words like ‘need’ rather than the more accurate word ‘want’ when talking about the things they spend their money on. There is a huge difference between our needs and our wants. Most of the things we think we need are really just things we desire. We all need water, food, shelter, clothing and a certain amount of security to survive and have the chance to thrive. If you take time to think it through, you will be able to see the difference and if you really see the difference, you can then choose to set aside those wants that you previously thought were needs. That will get you the money you’ll need to save up in order to invest and get ahead.

What I used to do when I was depriving myself of a lot of extras that I really wanted right then and there was to concentrate on the huge benefits that I would be receiving later on. I would focus on two wonderful words: ‘passive income’. That concept of having income that would come in automatically each month, whether I got out of bed or was vacationing in Europe, would really motivate me to not spend on things that were wants and to keep saving more and more of my wages. And it paid off big time. Now I spend a lot of time traveling the world and doing super fun things without worrying about the money. It comes in every month no matter where I am or what I’m doing.

It’s so funny how often I hear, “Oh Mark, you are so very lucky to have such a great life style.” They probably don’t mean that literally, but I always respond with the same thing, saying, “Believe me, it’s not luck. It was good planning and discipline over a long period of time.”

Friends, pretty much anyone can do what I did. It does take time but it’s so very worth it. If you think you are too old and don’t have enough time to do it at least pass the message on to your kids and grandkids. They will thank you and greatly benefit for many generations to come!

Live and Leave a Legacy

The great Arthur Ashe left a wonderful legacy, not so much as you might think from his champion tennis days but more for his amazing kindness, sharing and selfless giving and his gentle warm personality that moved people to accept that every human being is equal. Believe me, back in his early tennis days, black people were not thought of or treated anywhere near equal. In fact, in some areas it was against the law for a white person to play tennis with a black person.

When you read about Arthur Ashe or watch the documentary on his life, you keep seeing these same words over and over to describe him–thoughtful, kind hearted , great role model, warm, gentle, friendly, fair minded and so very concerned about other people. He made a huge difference in the world and is a great example and role model for the rest of us. But you know what? Anyone of us can do similar things if we set our mind to it.  That, believe it or not, brings me to the subject of money.  Arthur Ashe used tennis and the fame he received from that as a lever to do good in the world.  The same thing can be done with money!

Money is neither good nor bad.  I know many people think that money is “the root of all evil” and they claim that this is what the Bible says, but this is not what the bible actually says. It says “the LOVE of money is the root of all evil.”  The real key, of course, is what you do with that money.  If you let money become your god or the end goal in and of itself rather than a means to the end you might well be in big trouble.  I’ve seen this happen many times. Someone will make tons of money and then spend and lavish it all on themselves with high end toys, jewelry, food, drink and drugs and then you see that love of money really does become the root of evil that arises in these people’s lives.

If you want to help humanity for many years to come, way past your own lifetime, then you need to devise a plan that does exactly that.  I’m not saying that you have to have huge amounts of money to leave a great legacy fro mankind but it sure helps. I don’t know about you but working hard to make a lot of money–especially past the point of making enough to just live on–is much easier, seems like less work and is more rewarding when I know that the extra cash and net worth can, and will, be directed to others in need. And not just for the here and now but long after I have checked out of this life. Call it extra motivation, extra energy or whatever you want to call it. It’s real and it can help keep you going.  That ‘legacy’ can also spill over into the future for many, many years after you are gone and may even get bigger as time rolls on.

Try to pretend that this is the only world there will ever be–as in there is no after or next life.  If that were the case–and it might be–and you still really want to live forever, then maybe the only way to do it is through what you do for other people.  First your kids and grandkids, then maybe your friends and associates but why not go way beyond that and try to help total strangers and anyone on the planet that you can reach, especially those that are in desperate need.  If you can motivate them to make their lives and their kids’ lives and their kids’ kids’ lives a little better, encouraging them to pass it on or ‘pay if forward’ forever into eternity, then I think you may see that you are living forever. Just one person has the potential to make the world a better place for numerous other people and that is one terrific legacy that you can leave as well as live.

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