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Quality Living is in the Moment

July 18, 2021 by  
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With age, and the experience of achieving great success, it has become glaringly clear that wealth, power, status, fame, possessions, etc. do not, by themselves, add anything significant to the actual quality of our lives. Yes, I find having wealth is nice and allows me to do many wonderful things like travel a great deal. I do thoroughly enjoy many of my physical possessions, like my house and all the bits and pieces my wife has brought in to make it a home. These things, however, are not how I measure how well I live.

Most of what makes a life worth living cannot be bought or collected. They can only be found in the experiences you have, what you give to others, what you accept, and how you choose to look at the world. It’s those many small steps that make up the journey that determine the true importance of the destination, not the destination itself.

If your ‘destination’ is great wealth, gaining that wealth will only be important if you’ve lived well, struggled often, and celebrated your small successes along the way. This is why lottery winners almost always end up unhappy. There is no journey, no sense of success, and no memories that make up the path to their wealth. The money just becomes a condition of their life, not something that engages their sense of personal achievement.

This idea brings together much of what I’ve been talking about these past few weeks — that your quality of life is made up of what you experience in the great right now. You want to live in the moment and choose to be happy or your life will be made of many disappointing moments, making the whole of your life disappointing as well.

Also, don’t forget to look for joy in the wonderful act of giving to others. Generous, kind acts will infuse your life with the kind of treasures that you could never buy or fabricate — they can only be given. When you give, you’ll often find that even more is given back to you.

Go ahead. Go for the wealth and the status and whatever else you dream of. Just remember to live a quality life along the way, and keep up your passion for living, not just for the future life you’re after.

A Season for Appreciation

December 20, 2020 by  
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The holidays are upon us. What a great time of the year this is! It’s a season of celebration that usually brings back many special memories of family and friends. To me, though, it’s mostly about giving. Okay, yes, as a kid it was mostly about receiving but that was a very long time ago!

The act of giving returns so many super wonderful feelings in such a big way to the giver, sometimes to the point that the giver can feel guilty for getting so much out of it. I remember one particular experience a while back that gave me a twinge of guilt after I had done a rather small thing.

I was coming out of a mall when I saw two young ladies, probably in their early to mid-20’s, sitting on a little wall taking a break from one of the shops they obviously worked at. As I walked by, I handed each of them a 2-dollar bill saying, “This is for luck. Don’t spend it. Just keep it for luck.” 

I usually give these to kids between 6 and 8 years old and watch their excited reaction and joy. It is one of my favorite giving things to do. But I guess, in this case, since I was struck by the season of giving we are in, I handed these to the young ladies without thinking. Both girls said “Oh, I’m sorry I can’t accept this.”

I replied, “Give it to a kid and watch the big smile on their face.”

Reluctantly they accepted. Then they began to thank me as if I’d given them $100 dollar bills.

As I started to walk away, they asked, “Hey, where are you from?”

I replied, “Oh, I’m from here but I grew up in the Middle East, in the country of Turkey.” And then, of course, I had to lay a little Turkish on them, what little I remembered.

One of the girls surprised me by answering back in Arabic (the two languages have a lot of common words) and then they explained they were from Israel where they’d learned a little Arabic. So, we had something in common.

As I walked toward my car, I began thinking about how their great appreciation for my very small gift made me feel so good. I realized that appreciation is really a gift too and, often, a big and glorious one.

Feeling a little connected to these young ladies and warmed by their great appreciation and friendliness, I got in my car and drove back to where they sat, giving both of them a copy of my latest book.

Wow, talk about receiving a huge gift back! Their appreciative words and genuine feelings absolutely overwhelmed me. You would have thought I’d given them a million dollars. They called me an angel from heaven and thanked me to the point that their appreciation was almost embarrassing.

What did I really take away from this experience though? I realized that the biggest gifts any of us can give are not objects or anything you can put a price tag on, but gifts of love and appreciation. These things, without a doubt, last longer than any gift wrapped present.

At this special time of year let’s all try to give more and return more with our sincere appreciation!!

A Little Charity and a Huge Return

February 23, 2020 by  
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A while back, at Christmas time, I was in Walmart and a single mom in line just in front of me was holding a few extra items as the clerk was will up her bill. She kept asking what the total was as she anxiously clutched the extra possible items she obviously wanted but wasn’t sure she could afford. When she got to $40, she told the clerk that would be all she could pay for and she laid the other items aside.

As she paid for her purchases, I reached over and pushed the items she was leaving behind over to my pile and told the clerk, “I want to buy these items for my new friend.” I made the purchases and handed them to the lady who thanked me over and over again. And so did the clerk!

I walked out of the store feeling on top of the world. You’d think I had given her $1000 cash although it was, in reality, only a $7.50 gift. On the other hand, it felt like a million dollars in satisfaction and warm feelings for me.

Even though I have done this type of thing many times before and for a lot more money, it never fails to feel like a unique and special experience. This last experience felt especially wonderful. Maybe it was that look in her eyes that let me know this truly made a difference for her during the holiday season. She said “Merry Christmas” to me over and over again as she took her 7 year old daughter by the hand, a child who, of course, I had just given a $2 dollar bill to for good luck, something I love to do and try to do almost every day.

I know a whole lot of people who do this same thing. There was a report on the news some time ago about a rash of anonymous people going into Walmarts and paying off layaways for complete strangers, some spending thousands of dollars so they could help multiple families. What I did was not unique, but it might be for some people, maybe even for you, my reader.  So, I’d say if you have never helped a stranger in this way, give it a try and see what a great feeling it gives you as well as the stranger that receives your gift. Try it at least once. I promise you’ll love it!

The Healthy Second Half

April 5, 2019 by  
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As most people know, good health is vitally important to all of us. I’ve learned over the years that there are at least 20 things you and I can do to add 20 years to our life and enjoy those years in good, or even great, health. But as you know, if you read my blog 2 weeks ago, I gave you only the first 10 of those 20 items so far. Now, here are the other 10 ways to possibly add 20 years to your life.

  1. Take control of you own life – take the lead and start a physical program and stick with it.
  2. Get red in your diet. Eat tomatoes and red veggies as these are known to reduce the likelihood of prostate cancer.
  3. Shake off the salt. No more than 2000 milligrams a day.
  4. Meditate – it’s the ultimate relaxant and takes just 20 minutes a day. It can reduce your stress level and better your life.
  5.  Don’t ever eat hydrogenated oils.
  6. Stay out of the smog and bad air.
  7. Get a pet.
  8. Get a life partner. People with a companion live longer.
  9. Have a lot of sex. Large studies show more sex equals longer life.
  10. Drink lots of water – at least eight 8 oz. glasses every day.

And here is a bonus one to make it 21. Give to others. Give love, time, laughter, money, compliments, and appreciation. That will make you and the one you are giving to feel better and that feeling of well-being will help you both to live a longer and happier life.

But wait… there’s more! Here is another bonus list:

A Dozen More Signs and Habits for Longevity

  1. Drink 2 or 3 cups of green or white tea daily.
  2. Spend 30 minutes a day walking, biking, working out, etc.
  3. Don’t drink soda.
  4. Build your lower body strength. In other words, legs.
  5. Eat lots of blueberries, red grapes, red fruits, and drink small amounts of red wine.
  6. Control your weight. Slim is in and can keep you in the game of life longer.
  7. Eat no beef or very, very little.
  8. Stay mentally active – get a college education or equivalent.
  9. Relieve stress with better and more interpersonal relationships. Chronic stress weakens the immune system and ages cells faster.
  10. Hang out with healthy people.
  11. Have, and maintain, a positive outlook and a sense of purpose.
  12. Do good things for others and have a good strong sense of community.

That’s it! I hope these items are motivating and helpful and, if you use them, that they extend a long, healthy life for you. I also hope you share this with the ones that you love, to help them achieve a long and healthy life as well!

Give Big, Live Big

December 14, 2018 by  
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Have you ever noticed that with my blog I am never really trying to sell you a product? Well, I guess I’m selling something, or more accurately I’m trying to give you something and hoping that you’ll snap it up. What I’m “selling” is information and ideas and, hopefully, inspiration and motivation. It’s not that I’m against selling stuff such as books, seminars and, oh yes, an old beat up piece of real estate that I’ve fixed up and increased the price – and value! – substantially. But at this point in my life, I feel so much more like giving rather than selling.  As I’ve said before, “If you want to live big, give big.” And, of course, we are now in that wonderful giving time of year and I think you will agree with me that it feels so very good to give.

What’s amazing about giving is that it can be somewhat selfish. That may sound odd but when I give a lot it makes me feel so very good inside so wanting to feel that good is kind of selfish but in a very positive way. I love to share with others what I’ve learned about making tons of money and expanding the possibilities and experiences of one’s life and most of us need help and assistance to lift up our lives to higher levels. I mean who among us has a perfect life and doesn’t need some motivation and help in at least in at least a couple parts of our lives? Every single person that I’ve ever met that have been super successful, whether it was with money matters, business, sports, family, or love, have been helped by someone. Sometimes it is in person through work, networking, friends, people met at clubs, etc. Sometimes it is more indirect such as the things we learn from someone through books, seminars, or even blogs. We all have others to thank and appreciate.

I certainly have lots of great books, friends, coaches, and leaders who have lifted so many parts of my life. At this juncture of my life, I feel stronger than ever and so it’s time for me to give back – it’s time to pay it forward. I want to be of great help to others and not just through my books and lectures. I love to give my time and money to charities. And no, I am not talking about those huge charities that pay their CEOs or presidents one or $2 million a year. Ugh. I’m pretty sure they could find an equally qualified person that is retired or semi-retired that would do the same job for free or a small salary. It’s just not going to be me.

So, in the spirit of the season, I’d like to challenge you, my readers, to give, give, give! And, yes, even though it feels a bit selfish, you will see, as I’m sure you have in the past, that when you give BIG, you really do begin to live BIG!

Self-Interest That Helps the World

August 10, 2018 by  
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Last week I wrote about how giving to others can and does lift your life and brings more happiness, contentment, and even better health and a longer life. It must have motivated me to practice what I was preaching because later I found myself in my car driving to the high school that all my kids attended and going straight to the office where I made a pretty sizable donation. As I walked out of the building, I felt so good and happy in the center of my heart and brain that I headed for another school. I made a couple more donations that day and felt like I was on top of the world.

It’s very interesting that when I make donations, including all those $2 bills that I often give to kids, I always feel that I get much more out of it than the recipient. What a great feeling it gives me! As science has proved, there is a great connection between the brain and the body. This allows us humans to help and improve our entire physical being by what we run through our heads. Giving is one of those things that can set off a lot of good positive feelings in our bodies.

Most of us, when we talk about giving, tend to think primarily in terms of giving money. But there are so many other ways and things to give. With very little effort, I came up with this list of things we can give to others that can be a huge help to those people and, at the same time, can give a lift to our brains, souls, and bodies.

After you read through my list, see what other things you can think of that can be given to others. These gifts can be given to your kids, grand kids, other relatives, and friends as well as strangers. Then let’s all of us push ourselves to give more. Choose as many items on the list as you feel so inclined to give. Yes, we do need to push ourselves to do this especially on days we might be feeling a bit down. But on those down days it can be a great help to lift us up as we lift others.

Okay, let’s work on giving more of some or all of these:

  1. Money $$$
  2. Good Advice
  3. Direction/Coaching
  4. Mentoring
  5. Appreciation
  6. Encouragement
  7. Praise
  8. Complements
  9. Attention
  10. Friendship
  11. Wisdom
  12. Our time
  13. Help
  14. Service
  15. Love

I’m sure I left off many things that we can give to others but at least this is a start. This list has been motivating me to give more of these gifts to others and now my mind pops up with sayings like: “Give, Give, Give and Live, Live, Live. Give a little, live a little, give a lot, and live a lot. Give big and live big”. I know all this may sound kind of selfish, but maybe it’s a good thing that our brains are designed that way, because doesn’t that type of self-interest help the world?

 

More Production Yields a Better Life

August 4, 2018 by  
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In this post, I wanted to expand on Hyrum Smith’s great book, Purposeful Retirement (and yes you should go buy a copy!) He points out that studies show that the earlier you retire, the sooner you die. Having projects that are meaningful when you retire can not only raise your self-esteem and well-being but will also help you to live longer and stronger. So, if you are retired and, like me, have found that you don’t have enough to do and it’s driving you bonkers, or if retirement is in the not-too-distant future, it’s very wise and life enhancing to make a plan for your retirement years.

The key to this plan is to map out and write down the specifics of what you are going to do to truly make a difference in the world. From another great book, The Miracle Morning, the author Hal Elrod says, “you’re not supposed to ‘figure out’ what your purpose is.” Instead, he says, “you get to make it up.” So, it really is up to each of us to decide what we are going to do with the rest of our lives.

After reading this and giving it a lot of thought, I woke up the other morning with a very strong feeling of, “I know what I want my purpose to be.” My words to myself were, “I want to live, live, live, to give, give, give!” and I decided right then that from now on I would try to ask someone every day, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

Perhaps, in doing this, I’m being a little selfish because I read in Smith’s book that, “through MRI technology we now know that giving activates the same parts of the brain that are stimulated by food and sex. Experiments show evidence that altruism is hardwired in the brain–and it’s pleasurable. Helping others may just be the secret to living a life that is not only happier, but also healthier, wealthier, and more productive and meaningful.” Plus, it helps you live longer. And, hey, I want all of those things!

So, my new resolution is to “produce” a lifestyle of giving that makes the world a better place! And I just figured out a way to make that easier and faster. I would like to volunteer to give free speeches, seminars, and mentoring to anyone who wants it–whether it’s on financial strategies and methods or other self-improvement habits. So, if I can be of service to you individually or to your group, club or organization, please let me know. I do think that “Great Giving produces Great Living.” Hmm. I like that saying even though I am just quoting myself. But who knows, maybe it will go viral and I’ll be famous … ho ho ho!

To contact me, you can leave a comment on this post (look for the “leave a comment” link at the top of the blog. If you don’t see the link click the header of the blog post to get to the blog post specific page and it should be there.) Or, if you get this by email, just respond to the email. I’m looking forward to hearing, and helping, you.

 

Being a Giver

March 31, 2017 by  
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There are a lot of various reasons and motivators that push people to go after wealth, even great wealth. But the real bottom line basic motivator to make even a little money is simply survival because we all need money for food, clothing and shelter. Thankfully, here in the good ole US of A, most of us are beyond that stage. Certainly, a large part of the reason for this is because of our great freedom and our wonderful free enterprise system that allows even a person born into poverty the real chance–albeit with a ton of work and effort–to rise above it all and make lots of money and even a fortune starting from scratch.

One of the more unique motivators for achieving wealth is sometimes, “I want to make a lot so I can give a lot.”  Some people would question that saying, “Why would that push or motivate people to achieve great financial success?” and my answer to that would be “Because it can make the giver feel on top of the world with wonderful inner feelings that last and last.” Plus, it’s a great legacy that can and will linger on long after the giver has passed on.  That feeling of giving back is so very good for the body, mind, and soul and I’m sure most of my readers have experienced that at many different levels.

That wonderful feeling can be had from giving both money and non-money stuff. Think of how you feel when you give someone a gift, or do a big favor for someone, or give a great compliment and you receive sincere, enthusiastic, and emotional thanks. There are not many feelings that are a greater reward than what you get when you are a giver.

So, if you and I really take the time to think it through, we may well see what a great motivator it can be for us to push ourselves to make more money so we can give more money to others. Also, never forget all those other things we can give–everything from sincere compliments and praise, our time, our service, and our sincere love and attention to others. The return on these kinds of investments are many times much more satisfying than the return we get on our money investments. My motto is becoming, more and more, “Give more to live more.” Or better yet, “Give more so others can live more.”

 

The Giving and Sharing Season

December 23, 2016 by  
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Before we get to talking about financial goals and money as I promised you last week, let’s talk about giving first. We can all give more and next week’s blog will help you finance all that you give.

Christmas is upon us and it’s the very best of seasons if we all get into the giving and sharing. There is something about giving to others that makes you feel so good and warms the soul. Most of us start by giving to our loved ones–our kids, grandkids, and spouse or significant other. The gifts don’t have to be gigantic but giving big gifts and a lot of them certainly doesn’t hurt the receiver or the giver. But don’t stop giving at just the family level. Think about your friends, even ones that you haven’t seen or heard from in years. It’s also great to give to strangers that are in need.

I’ve loved giving lots and lots of small gift to kids, not just at Christmas time but all the year round. As many of you know I love to order up $2 bills from the bank and give them at random to kids (although only when they are with a parent. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a creep.) It’s quite funny that the parent many times says, “Oh, those are so rare,” and yet anyone can get them from a bank. The kid and the parent are usually very surprised and delighted and thank me up and down with huge smiles on their faces.

I order 100 of the $2 bills at a time and have given away thousands. But the amazing thing is that as happy and delighted as the parents and kids are, I am even more stoked and happy than them. I usually tell the parent, “I think I’m being kinda of selfish because I get more pleasure, satisfaction, and joy from giving than the kids get in receiving.” I usually add the comment, “Plus, look, I invest $2 and I get back a $1000 dollar smile. I think that is a fantastic return on my investment!” So, I guess that giving can be a bit selfish but then again everyone seems to benefit from this kind of giving. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about, giving for the benefit of everyone?

So be more driven this year and give more and more for everyone’s benefit. And don’t forget that giving can be more than gifts and money–give love, give warmth, give complements … just give more of yourself.

 

A Time to Give, a Time to Live

December 20, 2014 by  
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What a great time of the year!  You can feel something different is in the air.  Of course, that great old Christmas music helps encourage that feeling of giving, loving and gratitude.  Whereas it’s true that the human brain craves novelty and unique experiences, our minds are also soothed and comforted by the familiar sights and sounds that the holiday season brings us.

I’m pretty sure you are like me, and most other people on this planet, in that you get that warm comforting feeling when you give a gift, whether it’s something fancy or a simple thing or you are giving of your time by doing something special for someone else.  Because, yes, to give is to live more fully.

You may have seen on the news recently, where some anonymous person gives away, at Christmas time, $100,000 dollars in $100 dollar bills to people who look like they are down on their luck and really are in need.  This year, he did it in cooperation with the police force.  And he has the officers give his gifts out.

As I watched how it all played out on a TV spot this year, I was quite emotional.  What the cops do is drive around looking for older, banged up and aging cars with people driving that look like that they don’t have a dime to their name.  Then they pull the people over as if they are going to ticket them.  Of course the drivers, as they see the cop walking up alongside the car, are wondering what they did wrong and as they roll down the window, filmed by body cams the cops were wearing, you can see the great distress on their faces. The drivers were obviously distressed. Some were defensive, others belligerent and others were simply and quietly upset.  But then when the officer reaches in and hands them a $100 dollar bill and says “Merry Christmas”, the drivers face is instantly transformed. Some looked shocked and some even started crying.  One woman said, through her tears, that now she could give her kids a Christmas present when she thought she would not be able to give them anything.

The cops were as touched as the people were by that act of giving, even though it wasn’t their money.  As I watched, I couldn’t help but catch the feeling and the emotions those camera caught and, yes, I teared up a bit myself.

I am pretty darn sure that the more we give, give, give, the more we live, live, live!  I sincerely hope you have a tremendous season of giving and you receive the great rewards that giving gives!  Merry Christmas!