The Time for Gratitude is Now

In the past few days, it’s been very shocking to see in the news all the damage left by these huge storms we’ve had lately all over the world. The damage wasn’t what most people expected and so many didn’t see it coming but then it hit, quickly and so very powerfully that thousands of people lost their homes, businesses, and for some, sadly, their lives.

What we humans experience hits us at all different levels but sometimes what hits us the most is the loss of things we’ve taken for granted. It’s only then, after we lose them, that we realize we haven’t given much thought and appreciation for all that we have. Everything from small possessions to big things like a best friend or family member can be lost in an instant.

I have experienced this many times in my life. There were big losses, but I also lost many small things that I’ve felt kind of stupid for not being very grateful for when I had them. There are things, like being healthy,  that don’t seem like a big deal when you have it, but it can be devasting when you lose even small parts of it. I have been realizing that a lot lately, that great health is something we need to always be grateful for. We need to take notice every day and be thankful for our good health and well-being.

If you take a look at our lives here in the good ole USA, compared with most other countries in the world, wow, we have it so good here! We really ought to take time to notice all the good things we have in our lives right now and not wait until we lose them to appreciate them.

Recently it struck me hard that I have not taken enough time to appreciate so many things.  One of the big things that was taken away from me, that I realized I always took for granted, was my ability to play tennis.

I took up the sport when I was 35 years old and was given lessons by a former professional that had big time success and even played at Wimbledon, a tournament considered one of 4 greatest in the world. I was later in many big tourneys myself, receiving 2 gold medals at the annual Huntsman World Senior Games. I even met some of the game’s greatest and most famous players like Roger Federer and Andrew Agassi while hanging out in the player’s lounge at that tournament.

Then my time playing some pretty good tennis all changed when I had an unforeseeable accident, falling so hard that I was knocked out for over 15 minutes. Talk about things I took for granted! I didn’t really appreciate all those great games I got to play and all the tournaments I was able to win until I lost my ability to play. I could hardly hit the ball or even run.

Luckily, I have able to start playing again and I am loving it. Not being able to for a time made me realize how very important it is to take time to appreciate all the good things in life and do that before something hits you hard and changes everything, for the moment or even forever. In other words, let’s all appreciate the good things, big and small, when we have and do that before we lose it.

The Friendship Boost

Last week I talked about the importance of reminding yourself to keep doing the good and healthy things that elevate your life. Having a good, active social life is a big one. It’s not only me that believes keeping up friendships can boost your health and the quality of life either. Some years back, I read an article on the Mayo Clinic website about just how important it is to maintain your friends and social circle.

According to this article friendships can:

• Increase your sense of belonging and purpose.
• Boost your happiness.
• Reduce stress.
• Improve your self-worth.
• Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one.
• Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise.

Now, that’s a lot of benefits for something most of us would like to have more of anyways, at least we think we would. But we don’t always keep up those relationships, which is strange. Why don’t we?

It seems that life just gets in the way, and we always don’t prioritize our social life. We are constantly drawn away by things such as work, caring for children or elderly parents, or trying to make a dent in that long to-do list that is always hanging over our heads. We also move around a lot these days so even well-established friendships start to fade with the distance between us all. And then it’s hard to find the time and even motivation to go out and make new friends. But it would seem, we can’t really afford not to.

It’s not that we need to have a lot of friends to get these benefits, but rather, according to the Mayo clinic article, it’s the quality of the friendships. You want to have friendships that fulfill your individual need for a certain kind of closeness, comfort, and availability. This is different for everyone but the important thing is that they are friendships you value.

So, take time to call, visit, write or whatever else is appropriate for the relationship you have with your friends. Don’t let time and distance get in the way of acquiring all the great benefits friendships bring you. And, remember, you’re also giving those same benefits to others so you’re helping to boost their health as well as yours.

If you’d like to read the Mayo clinic article, you can find it at: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/friendships/MH00125

The Important Stuff

On my wall, I put up a great poster that has, in large letters, that old USA symbol on it, but it’s not what you think. You may recall my writing about that USA thing some time ago. Do you remember what it stands for?

The large letters don’t stand for the United States of America, not in this case. They stand for Unconditional Self- Acceptance!  That big chart on the wall lifts my thinking and my mood and even if it’s just a short glance and a quick thought, it still lift my mind. So, I’ve made a habit of looking at the big sign on my bedroom wall almost every day and thinking about what it means. It’s amazing what those 3-letter do for my mind.

I would strongly suggest you get a sign like that up on your wall too. It could be the USA sign or make you own sign with those letters. Or choose something else that has been helpful for you. Just give yourself a reminder that makes you stop and think and appreciate yourself and what you have.  It’s so good for your mind and can help raise your mood.

Here are a few other thoughts that have helped lift my life, my mood, and my mind and that you might want to put up as a reminder in your own life.

1. Be grateful.
2. Stay physically active.
3. Don’t let your social life slip. In fact, try to make it bigger and better. Be an instigator of your social life by calling and inviting friends to do something with you and have them invite their friends.
4. Think about how you can motivate your family and friends to get out and join you for breakfast lunch, and dinner. Doing this not only raises your mood but the mood of the people who come along.
5. Stay healthy and eat smart.
6. Do what works for you. It might be reading certain books or writing your own book, even if you are not planning to have it published. Such goals can give you a huge boost of confidence and can lift your mood.
7. Travel and experience new places and people. Wow, I sure loved my around the world trip with my wife, meeting all those wonderful and interesting people, some who were very famous and successful people.
8. Teach your kids and friends what works for you to lift your mind and your life and explain how it can help them too.
9. Be sure to live in and appreciate the great right now moments!

That’s just a short beginning list. I could add many more items to my list but I don’t want to bore you or take any  more of your time. However, I bet you can add a ton to the list as well. And you should! They might all be things you are already very aware of but we all need reminders to keep focused on all the great important stuff.

Supplement Your Mood

In last week’s blog, I talked about how, after making tons of money, I turned some of my business responsibilities over to a few associates and family. After that, I thought my life would be so great, so easy, so happy and content. But I was in for a big surprise!

I began to go crazy and wondered why. I quickly started to realize that what I was experiencing was actually normal when a person retires. It seems that if you get to a point in your life that you’ve got enough money to do anything you want, you still have to have a plan to make your life fulfilling and meaningful again.

So, in my experience, my mood changed a lot, and I became disturbingly different. So, I turned, as I do, to reading about this thing I was going through. I found a couple goods of goods books that were so unbelievably helpful.

One of the books that really got my attention was Disrupt Aging by Jo Ann Jenkins. I actually had the book before this all happened but it didn’t hit my brain like it did when I was so down in the dumps. Some information, as good as it is, doesn’t mean a lot until you really need it.

The other book that hit me even harder, giving me very specific and easy things to do, was The Mood Cure by Julie Ross. I learned so much from this book. Her recommendations made an immediate difference in my life. They resolved things due to aging as well as mood, such as the age related decrease in serotonin, which plays a critical part in regulating our mood.

 So, I looked into what supplements and vitamins could help our mood and lift our lives.  Here’s a short list of what I found:

• Tryptophan
• 5 Htp
• Magnesium
• Calcium
• Iron
• Chromium
• Vitamin D

When I started taking these, I did notice that my mood was much better and that the change was very quick.

Go ahead and do a little research and see what else you can find about taking certain vitamins and supplements. As I am sure you will agree, our mood is so very important in our lives, so it’s well worth giving it a try. After looking into the supplements and talking to your doctor, give them a try and see what good stuff happens.

Dark Times in the Midst of Great Success

Life is very interesting and can have huge ups and big downs. Most people think that if they make a lot of money all their problems will be solved. I certainly thought that. At least until I made a few million dollars.

I can’t really complain but, I have to say, I was surprised by some of the feelings that came up after making my fortune. Instead of finding all my problems solved, I found myself struggling emotionally. I still struggle a bit now, but it’s nothing compared to when I reached my financial peak. I didn’t, and still don’t, have any problems with money or trying to manage all my properties, but something else popped up. I was getting depressed, a lot, and way too often.

In the last year, however, I have made some great progress in that part of my life. First, I identified where most of the depression seemed to be coming from. Probably the biggest thing that brought on the depression was the huge change in my routine. We humans really do need some routine in our lives and when I had reached a very high point in my business life, I thought, okay, now I need to make some big changes so I could better enjoy my success.

I started by putting my kids in charge of my property management and some of the money management. At first, I was very satisfied with this new arrangement, but not too long after that I found that I missed the routine associated with managing my properties and money. Playing tennis and working out was helpful, but only a bit.

I knew I had to do something about this, so I started reading many books on the challenges of retirement and what can be done to overcome them. One of the best books I read was Mood Cure written by Julia Ross. This book pushed me to look into vitamins and supplements as well as pushing myself to set up a new routine. So, I did that and got a huge lift from the supplements and vitamins. They really do wonders for the brain and can help a person overcome depression, lifting the mind and spirit to a much higher level!

I also found studies that show how much serotonin can lift you out of depression or just low moods in your daily activities. Part of the problem for most of us is that we are surrounded by enemies that lower our serotonin. Things like too much caffeine, chronic stress, a lack of exposure to natural light, and a lack of physical activity can all throw your serotonin off. So, I work on relaxing, getting outside, and staying physical.

Depression can be really tough because once you’re in it, you can lose the motivation to work on getting out of it. But you can do it. Just take one small step at a time. Starting with vitamins and supplements is a great way to do that, as well as reading some great books that will help you figure out what is best for you.

The Power of Writing it Down

I’ve written a lot about my research on the benefits of goal setting and how very important it is, even critical, to do whatever you want to do with your life. Goal setting can have a huge effect on just about every part of your world, whether it’s about your job, your health, lifting your mood, pushing out any depression you have, or what you want for the future.

It has been proven that you can heal some parts of your body by using your brain to work things out. That’s how powerful our brains are. Combine this power with goal setting and you can change a person’s life while lifting yourself to huge and greater heights.

Goal setting is not super hard—it’s the work you have to do to reach your goal that takes hard work. But, even so, there are parts of goal setting that are easy to overlook.

There is one big thing that doesn’t always get done when setting goals, even though it is quite easy to do. It’s surprising, the number of people that don’t do this, or only do it once in a while.  And what is that little extra thing that hugely increases your chance of reaching your goals? It is simply to write down your goals, put a time line on them, and review and visit your written goals regularly.

In my recent January 15^th post, I shared a list of affirmations that can help you with your goals setting. They are from Sujatha Lalgudi’s book, Gratitude Journal. It’s a super list that I think can really help many of us struggling humans.

I received the book as a gift and a few days after I received it, I began writing down this list of affirmations from this great little book and then I tried to re-read what I wrote down several times a day.

After doing this for a number of days, I really noticed a change in myself, primarily a very positive change in my thinking. It has worked so well that I want to challenge you to do the same. First write down the list. We take what we write down a lot more seriously than the things we think of in our heads or just read in a book. Then read through this list several times a day and see the difference in can make in you.

Go to this post to get the list I pulled from the book or, even better, go get yourself a copy.

Just the simple act of writing things down can make a difference in how successful you are with what you set out to do. Think of yourself and how important your goals are and see how writing things down can really start changing your life for the better!

Cautionary Words in Uncertain Times

So what would you do if you had a pretty good nest egg saved up but your bank was paying you a lousy 1/2% a year and a good friend just told you about how he is getting an 18% annual return with monthly dividends through investments with a good friend? Your first reaction might be, “Wow! That’s a great return.” But then you might ask, “Tell me more about this friend and the investment, because it sounds too good to be true.”

This friend might say, “I’ve known this guy for several years and he’s a good guy that I have great confidence in. I invested some of my cash with him a year ago and he hasn’t ever missed a monthly interest payment. I just recently put all the rest of my savings into his deal and even had my mother put most of her savings with him.”

So, what you would be hearing from this friend is that he’s put virtually all his cash and savings into this “safe investment” and the return is guaranteed. But for all you know, he may even have put a second mortgage on his house at a low interest rate so he could make the difference in the spread. I don’t know what you’d do, but I know I would hold on to my wallet and run like hell.

Sadly, this kind of scenario happens almost every day. It can be particularly bad during a slow economic recovery. After the hard years of the pandemic, people are ready to find something good that can help them recover and build their savings against the next difficult time. I personally have known a number of people that have lost almost every penny to their name because they bought into situations very similar to the one described above. These were not ignorant people. They were really quite smart and educated so you wouldn’t think they would be susceptible, but such good sounding deals can be very tempting.

There is an old saying that goes back to the 16th century: “Tis the part of wise men to keep himself today for tomorrow and not venture all his eggs in one basket.” The other saying that we’ve all heard that we need to drum into our heads is, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.”

One of the policies that has driven my investment life is, “If I do choose to put all or most of my eggs in one basket, I must have total control over that basket and I must watch that basket very, very closely.”

I have talked about this before, but with the way things are now, I thought it was time to put out another reminder. Even if you are introduced to someone that a family member or friend says they have total confidence and trust in, just remember where the term “con man” comes from—it comes from the description of people who build up your confidence and trust in them before they strike.

This is not to say that there are not very good investments out there, but just be careful and always check them out very thoroughly. Be sure your investment is backed by solid, verifiable assets and don’t put all your financial eggs in one basket. Not unless you are the one in control of those eggs and can watch that basket very closely!

Words For Financial Success & Beyond

We just arrived in Kauai, and I realize it was time to write my next blog post. So I found an old blog I wrote years ago that includes a few friends who contributed to a little book I wrote called, A Beginner’s Guide to Investing in Real Estate. Those good friends and fellow writers are Clair Crookston, Bryan Kroff, David Shamy, and Kelvin Miller. In the book, we all talked about making good investments in life, real estate, and other types of investments. So, in this week’s post, I wanted to quote from one of those friends and share with you the ideas and directions a person should follow to come up with, not just great financial returns, but great returns on life.

The purpose of one of the chapters that Brian Kroff contributed to was to develop a game plan that will work for you for any goal — financial, personal, or physical. Brian wrote that “your personal real estate game plan, strategies, and flexibility are just as critical,” as any other goals you might have.

He wrote a lot of great stuff, including this from his own great book: “The knowledge you have and will gain about real estate is what allows you to make wise decisions. When it comes to money, knowledge separates the investor from the speculators. Knowledge is the power to control, at least to a significant degree, what happens to us. Knowledge reduces risk.”

Additionally, he says, “Try to establish, as far as possible, a regular ‘information acquisition’ program. Some people try to read a few minutes each morning or evening. Some use their lunch or coffee break to feed the mind as well as the body. Carefully analyze your personal daily schedule, then set aside a certain time period each day to educate yourself as best you can about real estate.”

He doesn’t stop there. He goes on to say, “Fundamental to beginning in real estate is the establishment of your goals. Determine, as far as possible, how you can achieve them. Everyone is unique and different, so set your own goals. Don’t be afraid if your goals are a little bit different, higher, or even lower than someone else’s. Be specific about your goals and write them down.”

And it’s true. Writing goals down can make a huge difference in your level of success and reaching those goals! So, set your goals, write them down, do your research, and go after what you want.

Breaking Out of the Boredom

Recently, I’ve been writing about how keeping a record of one’s thoughts through a journal can be very helpful down the road. I’ve also recently found a few thoughts in those journals about how bored I became when I retired and some of the smart things I did that helped me with that.

If you are retired, you probably know what I’m talking about and if you are totally busy, working hard, long hours plus taking care of your home and family responsibilities, you might not hit that boredom thing very often. It’s funny how so many of us think of work as a negative thing, when, really, it’s a blessing. I think many retired people would agree.

So, what do you do if retirement has you bored out of your mind or, if you are not even close to retirement, you find yourself bored way too much with what you are doing now? Retired or not, what I’ve found, and continue to find, is that there are many different ways to cope when boredom becomes part of our lives, but there is one approach that I think works best.

One of the best solutions to any kind of boredom is to get busy and stay busy with projects you are passionate about. You want to push yourself to do things that are not just fun but that challenge you. Specifically, you want to projects that are well thought out and that fit with what you like to do, what you are good at, and what you find exciting and fulfilling. This might be a big goal, maybe something you’ve always dreamed of doing, but haven’t tried yet out of fear.

A big goal can really wipe away boredom. The challenge of trying something big, even the fear that might come with it, can give you a real mental boost. I remember how fulfilled and not at all bored I was when I decided to have a new house built for me in Kauai. No, I wasn’t the guy who poured the cement or swung the hammer, but I decided on the floor plan that fit my personality and figured out things what things fit my lifestyle—like good indoor-outdoor living spaces. Then, just about every day, there were decisions to be made and new things to learn so I could make the best decisions, and that stuff that kept me really busy so that I was rarely, if ever, bored.

I also went back to work after retiring. I wasn’t working like I used to, but I did enough to keep me busy, starting new and exciting projects. Since I was retired, I could choose to work on things I had always thought about doing but hadn’t had the time for yet. So, I wrote another book, started this blog, and set new, bigger travel goals.

So, if you’re a bit (or a lot) bored, may I suggest you look for something challenging and new to keep you busy? If you don’t have anything in mind right now, that can be your first big goal—to come up with a list of things you want to try or do. If you are just totally busy and never bored, then don’t change anything and be thankful. But also know that circumstances can change, so keep any eye out for that awful boredom and keep busy with exciting new goals.

Journaling Gratefully

As promised in my last week’s blog, here are some great and smart affirmations from Sujatha Lalgudi’s very clever book called Gratitude Journal. This little book convinced me to write in my journal much, much more and be more aware of how life lifting it is to have a ton of gratitude for so many things in our lives. She encourages all of us to devote “a few minutes a day to develop thankfulness, mindfulness, and positivity.”

I’ve kept a journal for many, many years and I must admit it has been a big help in my life. Not only has it raised my spirits and mood, but it has been a very good motivator to do more and more with my life. I have seen it make a big difference in my relationship with friends and family and even with a few strangers!

The author also encourages readers to “invest 90 days of daily practice to cultivate happiness.” One of the other things she offers is a list of great affirmations to live by or to use to build your own list:

• My potential to succeed is infinite.
• I take pride in the progress I make each day.
• I am proud of myself and all that I have accomplished.
• The world is a better place for me in it.
• I go for goals with passion and pride.
• I am never a burden.
• I am smart.
• I am capable and valuable.
• I am at peace with myself.
• I am unique in my own wonderful way.
• I am focused, persistent, and will never quit.
• I am in charge of my own happiness.
• I have the power to create change.
• I take pride in my achievements.
• I have courage and confidence.
• I don’t need to be perfect.
• I love myself.
• I can make a difference.
• I am in charge of my life.
• I set goals and I reach them.
• I am proud of my own success.
• I am my own superhero.
• I love myself.
• I can do anything
• I can make a difference.
• I am in charge of my life.
• I am in charge of my own individuality.
• I am my own superhero.
• I am free to be myself.
• I trust myself.
• I live each day to the fullest.

These are most of Sujatha’s affirmations and I am sure they would be great and help any of us humans if we could live by this list and or even your own list. In addition to this, she lists many, many pages of items that we should pay attention to. These also are a good source of ideas for making your own list of things to pay more attention to or even to come up with more affirmations.

Sujatha also gives out her email address so that anyone that wants to can comment on her wonderful little book or share their stories. I hope you get this book and that you like her directions and ideas. I sure do!

Next Page »