The Power of Partners

So how do you make your world bigger and really live ‘large’? Probably the biggest key to living large is through other people. Unfortunately, there is a big misconception when it comes to other people that seem to be living large and have achieved super success. We think they did it alone.

When we see someone who has come up with a great invention, a super creative piece of artwork or, for that matter, a new and very successful business, most people think it came from a single person’s mind, someone who has had a mental breakthrough all on their own. I certainly used to think that, but if you and I take a closer look at some of the most successful people in the world and even around ourselves, we’ll see that it just isn’t so.

A few years back I heard Joshua Shenk on NPR radio talking about world changing technological breakthroughs along with great works of art, each of which came, not from one brilliant person working alone, but from teams of two or more people joining their brains and forces to come up with heretofore unheard of successes.

Shenk wrote a book called Powers of Two and what a great book it is! In it he talks about great people like Paul McCartney, Steve Jobs, George Lucas and Vincent Van Gogh. It turns out that the key to their super success was hooking up with another person so that the power of those two brains could come up with unequaled genius and huge breakthroughs.

Those breakthroughs Joshua talks about may never have happened if those people had not met the right partner at the right time. For Paul McCartney the breakthrough came when he met and worked with John Lennon, a collaboration that later spawned the Beatles. For Steve Jobs it was hooking up with Steve Wozniak when one was a teenager and the other was only 20 years old. And for filmmaker George Lucas, it was his wife Marcia Lucas who is his secret weapon. Lastly, there’s a very good chance that you and I would probably never have known the name Vincent Van Gogh if it were not for a guy named Theo, Vincent’s brother.

The author goes on to make an undeniable case that most great and important breakthroughs that we think came from one genius working alone came from the ‘Powers of Two’. Joshua Shenk also talks about how critical it is for you and I to go out and find our tribe and to hook up with others there that we truly connect with. Sometimes it’s people like us and sometimes it’s people that are very different from us but regardless, they hit certain hot buttons with us that lifts us to a much higher level and pushes us to fulfill our great potential.

So, if you want to live large and do great things, don’t try to go it alone. Find that other person or persons who you can partner with and create big and amazing new things.  

A Friendly Question and an Honest Answer

There are certain questions that most of us hear nearly every day. They go something like:

• How are you doing?
• How are you feeling?
• How’s everything in your life these days?

And what is our usual response? Something like:

• I’m doing fine.
• I’m good.
• Things are moving along.

The answers that you normally don’t hear are:

• Not so good today.
• Oh man, I am feeling very depressed.
• Things are not going well in my life right now.

In our polite society, we usually don’t dump our problems on others, sometimes not even our close relatives and best friends. In most situations, that would be thought of as a considerate thing but maybe it’s not the best thing we can do for ourselves. There are times when it might be better for us to open up and tell the full truth, voicing the negative or tough things that are going on in our lives and in our minds.

But when would it be better to answer honestly rather than staying quiet and not troubling others? Well, when you have something really tough going on that friends and relatives can help you with.

It’s kind of strange that, in our society, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell someone that you have a cold but it’s a no-no to tell a friend you’re feeling down or depressed. Both conditions are real and can be difficult. And there are treatments for both but, unlike with a cold that we usually treat ourselves, depression often requires that we ask for help.

I met up with a longtime friend once who said in the usual manner, “Hey Mark, how are you doing?”  Suddenly, and to my surprise, I found myself telling him the truth, saying “Man, oh man, I’ve really been depressed lately.”

Next thing I knew I was quickly apologizing for dumping my personal problems on him. To my surprise though, he was not taken aback by my honesty but rather told me in turn that he too gets down and depressed.  I was surprised to hear him say that because he always seems to be on top of the world and so very happy.

He then gave me some very good advice on things I could do to pull myself out of my slump and in a very short order I began to feel better.  The advice he gave me was a series of things I already knew but had slowly stopped doing. Things like eating foods that can improve my mood and taking supplements like 5-HTP and Saint John’s Wort. And just as important as all the rest, he suggested that I push myself to stay busy and keep connected to friends and relatives.

I think because I am an active and wealthy person, people look at me and think I must always feel positive and never get depressed.  But many times, my advantages in life also make it difficult to feel motivated. I don’t have to work, and I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want to. Even though that might seem to be a good thing, it can also drive you crazy.

We all need to keep busy and feel like we have a purpose. We need to stay engaged and connected to friends and relatives. We also need challenges which mean constantly setting goals for ourselves and staying on track as we pursue those goals.  Yes, I am preaching a well-worn subject to you, but I am very definitely preaching to myself as well. Because, even though I know this stuff, and you do too, we all need a little reminder now and then. And to get that, sometimes all it takes is giving a friendly question an honest answer.

The Greatest Country

Although, the subjects of my posts are mainly about health and wealth, this week I’ve just got to say something about the race for the White House.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone that seems more non-presidential than the guy with the bad hair who never talks about any specifics and who acts like a child.  Have you noticed how Mr. Donald Trump loves to call people names and constantly tells people how great he is?

Yes, we all did that when we were kids, but that’s what kids do and most of us grow up and stop doing those kinds of juvenile things. Eight years ago, I was saying how much he reminds me of Vladimir Putin who also just can’t seem to get over himself and how wonderful he thinks he is. And now we know just how much Trump wants to be like him in every way. Most of us, if we grow up thinking we’re the center of the universe, soon realize that we are not nearly as important as we once thought we were.

Trump’s big slogan for his campaign continues to irritate me: Make American Great Again. He used to just say that we were not the great country we once were but now he talks about the USA like it is the worst country that ever existed, making the most outrageous claims, even about things that have been completely debunked.

Personally, I don’t think America ever stopped being “great”.  In fact, it seems to me that our country, even with its ups and downs and hard times, keeps getting better.  I’ve been to 84 countries in my life and lived a couple years in the Middle East in Ankara, Turkey and a couple years in England and Wales, and from my distant and far observations, America has always been one of the finest countries in the world for so many reasons. One of those reasons is because of our great constitution. And now, even that seems to be threatened.

Some people would disagree with me when I say our country gets better all the time and might point out the many terrible things they see every day and night on the news.  My response to that is pretty simple.  The news, especially the cable news that runs 24 hours a day, is in the business of making money and they need to fill up those hours with things they know people will tune in for.  They know they’ll get higher viewership when their news stories are sensational, especially when it’s bad and shocking.  That’s why watching the news gives us the impression that things are much worse than they really are.

Right now, our violent crime rate is at a 50-year low even though some crimes like homicide, which has been in decline these last few years, was increasing during all 4 years of the Trump administration according to the Council on Criminal Justice. Our gross domestic product, a primary indicator of economic health, is up 8% from 4 years ago and is growing 3 times the annual average this year alone. So, there are two great reasons to appreciate the USA right now.

We are also recognized as having the largest economy in the world, being the dominant global military power, being the leading producer of both oil and natural gas, and are known for constantly shaping global culture and progress. We have the vast majority of the best ranked universities in the world and lead in entrepreneurship with nearly 6 times more startups each year than any other country.

In other words, we have power, resources, education and ingenuity like no other country on the entire globe. So, I say to my readers and to Mr. Donald Trump, “America is already great, and will continue to be great with the kind of leadership that respects and adheres to our constitution. And I am just so proud to be an American!”

The Most Important Things in Life

For years I’ve preached over and over about the basic and best formulas for going out in the world to get and keep lots of money and so, of course, I think that’s very important. Succeeding in financial matters really can improve and lift your life and your loved ones’ lives.  But, never let that going for the money thing get in between you and the ones you love.

Every day, all over the world, terrible things happen to everyday people. I’m thinking of the school shootings and even the bombings in all those war torn areas we hear about on the news. They have a different perspective than many of us because of what they’ve been through.

I remember reading about that huge mine disaster that trapped 33 miners for 69 days, back in 2010 in Chile. When those survivors finally escaped that pit of hell, what they said was very instructive for those who would listen and learn from their experience. 

Did any of them think about their houses or their money while they hoped and waited to be rescued?  No, they did not.  Their minds and hearts were fixated on their loved ones—their wives, kids, parents and other people they loved. When our lives are on the line, most everyone realizes what the most important part of our existence is, and money is quickly and easily pushed out of our heads by thoughts of those that we love and those that love us. But we don’t need to wait until something terrible happens to remember what really matters.

Back when I was giving seminars, I used to ask the audience to show me, by raising their hands, how many of them would like to make and have a net worth of one million dollars. Just about every hand in the audience went up.  I would follow that question with several similar questions but with higher numbers: Who would like 10 million? Who wants to be worth 100 million dollars? About the same number of hands went shooting into the air each time.

Then I would ask the same type of question with an even bigger number but with a much bigger difference: How many people here would like to make and have a billion dollars in net worth, but when you got to the top of that huge financial mountain, you found you didn’t have any friends or relatives that liked you, much less loved you, and you would be totally cut off from everyone you once cared for? There were always a few hands that were raised, very few, but all of those that had their hands in the air were, well, teenagers.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t set your goals high, go after your fortune, and keep on building it bigger and bigger. Just keep an eye on the big picture and don’t push for that wealth at the cost of friends and family. If you are going to grow great wealth, you should also think about all the good you can do in the world with that fortune. That’s not only the right thing to do, it’s going to help you keep and lift up the most precious things you have in life—the people you love.

Always, always, always remember that giving and receiving love is infinitely more important and lifts your soul and your happiness in life to a much higher level than any amount of money ever could. You don’t have to give up one to have the other. You just have to remember to live your life with a focus on the things that really matter as well as your big financial goals.

Lifting Spirits with Nature and Smiles

There is something magical about the great outdoors and for me it’s even more magical in the mountains or on the beach. I don’t know what it is but I’m sure scientists have an explanation for what nature does to our brains that lifts and jumpstarts our spirits to a much higher level. If you don’t believe me, the next time you are a bit down in the dumps, just take a walk outside, preferably in the mountains, on the beach, or at least out in the countryside, and see if you don’t find your mood changed.

For me there is an extra boost to my mind, mood, and spirit when I hike trails where others are hiking. I especially love to drop $2 dollar bills on the trail when I see a father or mother hiking with small children, ideally in that 6 to 10 age range. If you give a 3 year old a $2 dollar bill they don’t know what it is and often drop it a little while later. They need to be old enough to understand what they’ve found.

My normal routine is to say to the parents as they are approaching, “Hey, have you taught your kids to pick up litter when they see it on the ground?” and then I drop the money and keep walking. I hear the kids shouting out in delight and then they almost always scream out a big “Thank you!”

Wow. Does that ever warm my heart! The kids love it, but I think I love it more and get more out of it than they do.

I also love to meet people when I am out on a hikes. I have some standard lines that I use over and over because they usually work to start a short conversation or a quick exchange of pleasantries. For instance, as I am approaching couples, whether young or old, with the guy in front and the gal behind, I say to the guy as I pass, “Hey, don’t look now but there’s a beautiful lady following you.” That always brings big smiles and an exchange of upbeat comments. They love it and so do I.

With these few words and small gestures, spirits are lifted, and the hike becomes something special for all of us. Plus, it sometimes leads both parties to stop and have a short upbeat chat.

I have another line I like to use when I’m going uphill on a particularly steep part of the hike and others are passing by coming back down. I simply ask “Hey, how much further to the 7-11?” It usually brings a big laugh, but I remember one time when it led to a conversation and a big coincidence.

Some years back, I used this line on two ladies coming downhill. I noticed, as they laughed at my comment, that the younger woman had a French accent so I asked her where she was from. After telling me she lived a couple hundred kilometers north of Paris, I told her how my wife and I love France and have a very, very good friend from Normandy by the name of Franchoise who is married to the skiing legend Stein Eriksen.

When I mentioned this, the older lady said “Hey, I know who you are. You’re Mark Haroldsen, the author. And I know Franchoise. Her son plays tennis with my son.” What a great surprise! That brief encounter resulted in a really nice conversation and a fun coincidence, and we all walked away with big smiles on our faces.

The world seems so divided in many ways these days and maybe it’s because we just haven’t gotten to know each other. The more people we get to know, the more we’ll see that we are all just human beings who want to smile and enjoy life, the same as we ourselves do. And being out in the beautiful, calming natural world is the perfect place to do more of that.

So, all of us should get out in nature as much as we can as well as going out of our way to meet other human beings.  It’s a win-win and, as I preach this to you, believe me, I am preaching it to myself as well!

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