Clicky

Search:

A Friendly Question and an Honest Answer

October 20, 2024 by  
Filed under blog

There are certain questions that most of us hear nearly every day. They go something like:

  • How are you doing?
  • How are you feeling?
  • How’s everything in your life these days?

And what is our usual response? Something like:

  • I’m doing fine.
  • I’m good.
  • Things are moving along.

The answers that you normally don’t hear are:

  • Not so good today.
  • Oh man, I am feeling very depressed.
  • Things are not going well in my life right now.

In our polite society, we usually don’t dump our problems on others, sometimes not even our close relatives and best friends. In most situations, that would be thought of as a considerate thing but maybe it’s not the best thing we can do for ourselves. There are times when it might be better for us to open up and tell the full truth, voicing the negative or tough things that are going on in our lives and in our minds.

But when would it be better to answer honestly rather than staying quiet and not troubling others? Well, when you have something really tough going on that friends and relatives can help you with.

It’s kind of strange that, in our society, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell someone that you have a cold but it’s a no-no to tell a friend you’re feeling down or depressed. Both conditions are real and can be difficult. And there are treatments for both but, unlike with a cold that we usually treat ourselves, depression often requires that we ask for help.

I met up with a longtime friend once who said in the usual manner, “Hey Mark, how are you doing?”  Suddenly, and to my surprise, I found myself telling him the truth, saying “Man, oh man, I’ve really been depressed lately.”

Next thing I knew I was quickly apologizing for dumping my personal problems on him. To my surprise though, he was not taken aback by my honesty but rather told me in turn that he too gets down and depressed.  I was surprised to hear him say that because he always seems to be on top of the world and so very happy.

He then gave me some very good advice on things I could do to pull myself out of my slump and in a very short order I began to feel better.  The advice he gave me was a series of things I already knew but had slowly stopped doing. Things like eating foods that can improve my mood and taking supplements like 5-HTP and Saint John’s Wort. And just as important as all the rest, he suggested that I push myself to stay busy and keep connected to friends and relatives.

I think because I am an active and wealthy person, people look at me and think I must always feel positive and never get depressed.  But many times, my advantages in life also make it difficult to feel motivated. I don’t have to work, and I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want to. Even though that might seem to be a good thing, it can also drive you crazy.

We all need to keep busy and feel like we have a purpose. We need to stay engaged and connected to friends and relatives. We also need challenges which mean constantly setting goals for ourselves and staying on track as we pursue those goals.  Yes, I am preaching a well-worn subject to you, but I am very definitely preaching to myself as well. Because, even though I know this stuff, and you do too, we all need a little reminder now and then. And to get that, sometimes all it takes is giving a friendly question an honest answer.

The Most Important Things in Life

September 22, 2024 by  
Filed under blog

For years I’ve preached over and over about the basic and best formulas for going out in the world to get and keep lots of money and so, of course, I think that’s very important. Succeeding in financial matters really can improve and lift your life and your loved ones’ lives.  But, never let that going for the money thing get in between you and the ones you love.

Every day, all over the world, terrible things happen to everyday people. I’m thinking of the school shootings and even the bombings in all those war torn areas we hear about on the news. They have a different perspective than many of us because of what they’ve been through.

I remember reading about that huge mine disaster that trapped 33 miners for 69 days, back in 2010 in Chile. When those survivors finally escaped that pit of hell, what they said was very instructive for those who would listen and learn from their experience. 

Did any of them think about their houses or their money while they hoped and waited to be rescued?  No, they did not.  Their minds and hearts were fixated on their loved ones—their wives, kids, parents and other people they loved. When our lives are on the line, most everyone realizes what the most important part of our existence is, and money is quickly and easily pushed out of our heads by thoughts of those that we love and those that love us. But we don’t need to wait until something terrible happens to remember what really matters.

Back when I was giving seminars, I used to ask the audience to show me, by raising their hands, how many of them would like to make and have a net worth of one million dollars. Just about every hand in the audience went up.  I would follow that question with several similar questions but with higher numbers: Who would like 10 million? Who wants to be worth 100 million dollars? About the same number of hands went shooting into the air each time.

Then I would ask the same type of question with an even bigger number but with a much bigger difference: How many people here would like to make and have a billion dollars in net worth, but when you got to the top of that huge financial mountain, you found you didn’t have any friends or relatives that liked you, much less loved you, and you would be totally cut off from everyone you once cared for? There were always a few hands that were raised, very few, but all of those that had their hands in the air were, well, teenagers.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t set your goals high, go after your fortune, and keep on building it bigger and bigger. Just keep an eye on the big picture and don’t push for that wealth at the cost of friends and family. If you are going to grow great wealth, you should also think about all the good you can do in the world with that fortune. That’s not only the right thing to do, it’s going to help you keep and lift up the most precious things you have in life—the people you love.

Always, always, always remember that giving and receiving love is infinitely more important and lifts your soul and your happiness in life to a much higher level than any amount of money ever could. You don’t have to give up one to have the other. You just have to remember to live your life with a focus on the things that really matter as well as your big financial goals.

Lifting Spirits with Nature and Smiles

September 8, 2024 by  
Filed under blog

There is something magical about the great outdoors and for me it’s even more magical in the mountains or on the beach. I don’t know what it is but I’m sure scientists have an explanation for what nature does to our brains that lifts and jumpstarts our spirits to a much higher level. If you don’t believe me, the next time you are a bit down in the dumps, just take a walk outside, preferably in the mountains, on the beach, or at least out in the countryside, and see if you don’t find your mood changed.

For me there is an extra boost to my mind, mood, and spirit when I hike trails where others are hiking. I especially love to drop $2 dollar bills on the trail when I see a father or mother hiking with small children, ideally in that 6 to 10 age range. If you give a 3 year old a $2 dollar bill they don’t know what it is and often drop it a little while later. They need to be old enough to understand what they’ve found.

My normal routine is to say to the parents as they are approaching, “Hey, have you taught your kids to pick up litter when they see it on the ground?” and then I drop the money and keep walking. I hear the kids shouting out in delight and then they almost always scream out a big “Thank you!”

Wow. Does that ever warm my heart! The kids love it, but I think I love it more and get more out of it than they do.

I also love to meet people when I am out on a hikes. I have some standard lines that I use over and over because they usually work to start a short conversation or a quick exchange of pleasantries. For instance, as I am approaching couples, whether young or old, with the guy in front and the gal behind, I say to the guy as I pass, “Hey, don’t look now but there’s a beautiful lady following you.” That always brings big smiles and an exchange of upbeat comments. They love it and so do I.

With these few words and small gestures, spirits are lifted, and the hike becomes something special for all of us. Plus, it sometimes leads both parties to stop and have a short upbeat chat.

I have another line I like to use when I’m going uphill on a particularly steep part of the hike and others are passing by coming back down. I simply ask “Hey, how much further to the 7-11?” It usually brings a big laugh, but I remember one time when it led to a conversation and a big coincidence.

Some years back, I used this line on two ladies coming downhill. I noticed, as they laughed at my comment, that the younger woman had a French accent so I asked her where she was from. After telling me she lived a couple hundred kilometers north of Paris, I told her how my wife and I love France and have a very, very good friend from Normandy by the name of Franchoise who is married to the skiing legend Stein Eriksen.

When I mentioned this, the older lady said “Hey, I know who you are. You’re Mark Haroldsen, the author. And I know Franchoise. Her son plays tennis with my son.” What a great surprise! That brief encounter resulted in a really nice conversation and a fun coincidence, and we all walked away with big smiles on our faces.

The world seems so divided in many ways these days and maybe it’s because we just haven’t gotten to know each other. The more people we get to know, the more we’ll see that we are all just human beings who want to smile and enjoy life, the same as we ourselves do. And being out in the beautiful, calming natural world is the perfect place to do more of that.

So, all of us should get out in nature as much as we can as well as going out of our way to meet other human beings.  It’s a win-win and, as I preach this to you, believe me, I am preaching it to myself as well!

A Very Special Message

April 21, 2024 by  
Filed under blog

We are sorry to report that Mark had a big fall earlier this month and hurt his head which has left his thinking a bit foggy. Because of this, Mark requested of his team that we rework and offer old posts for you while he focuses on mending. However, Mark just celebrated a very special day in his life and his family decided they wanted this post to be special as well.  So here are some very heartfelt thoughts about an exceptional man you know as Mark O. Haroldsen from his son Marcus.

Mark (MOH) and his kids: Front going clockwise around MOH – Cammy, Mark Ed, George, Marcus, Dave, and Nicky.

We all celebrate things in our life, whether it’s a baby being born, a wedding, a birthday, a new job, a big move, or a special relationship. It’s part of what we do, as a species, to recognize and generate joy in our lives.

Earlier this month we had just such an occasion for none other than Mark O. Haroldsen, celebrating his life as he turned 80! That’s a lot of revolutions around the sun, probably too much birthday cake, and a whole lot of life to be grateful for! Since Mark is celebrating his 80th birthday this month, I thought it might be a nice little change to jump in here and share a few things with you from the perspective of one of Mark’s family members.

In these past 80 years, Mark has seen more than his share of world issues, changing economic conditions, family and health issues, love, and loss. He has been a part of many organizations, been on TV multiple times, written a number of bestselling books, and dedicated time every week for nearly 15 years to writing this blog. With all that he has seen and done though, his love of people is what shines brightest. In the recent days and weeks, we’ve heard so many stories from so many people illustrating the connection, friendship, genuine love, and kindness he has shown others.

We all strive in some way or another to create joy in our life, yet often those things that we seek aren’t where we find the greatest joy and love. Human connection is part of our nature, but we all do it differently, and that’s okay! Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert like Mark, we each have our own unique way of expressing ourselves and connecting.

Years ago, I saw this firsthand with my dad. I had gone to the airport to pick him up, and as soon as I saw him, he began to introduce me to some people he was with. His friendly tone and jovial demeanor with these unfamiliar people, made me confidently conclude that these were long lost friends. He traveled frequently in those days and knew so many people at the airport. Whether they were baggage handlers or some form of concierge, Mark got to know a wide variety of people the various airports he frequented.

Wanting to confirm my assumption, I interrupted the introductions to find out how these unfamiliar people knew my dad. Their answer was something along the lines of, “Oh, he just started talking to us on the plane. He is so nice. He gave us this book and he gave each of my kids a $2 bill.” The smiles on their faces showed the joy they had on the flight because of Mark’s kindness and his uncanny ability to talk to anyone, anywhere.

Mark has given us many examples of how to befriend and accept others. From a young man that he played tennis with in Germany who became a lifelong friend to the family, to the exchange student who enjoyed a summer with us and likewise has remained a close family friend, Mark’s ability to make people feel welcome and accepted is inspiring. While some impromptu invites he offer while on vacation led to just casual and entertaining meals, others resulted in all present becoming so close that you’d think they were blood relatives.

There is so much joy to be shared in making these connections. So, as Mark celebrates his 80th birthday this week, as well as working to get back to full strength and health, I hope we can each spread MOH love and think of his examples in befriending others and letting people know that we care. Cheers to each of you and thank you for allowing me to interrupt the usual weekly blog. Mark will be back soon to continue to share his thoughts and build his connection with you.

The Miracle of My USA

December 3, 2023 by  
Filed under blog

I was going to tell you more about what I’ve learned about increasing longevity and enjoying excellent health through all the years of your life. But something else has been on my mind this past week.

I have been reminded many times through my writing and reading, that everything I do should be connected to that good ole USA. Okay, do you remember what USA is for me? It’s pretty simple and, no, it doesn’t stand for the country I live in. It’s an acronym I use to remind myself to live a life of Unconditional Self-Acceptance.

I know a lot of us struggle with accepting and loving ourselves unconditionally. We can be so very self-critical. But even if you’ve worked hard to have good, positive inner self talk and can truly say to yourself that you love and accept who you are, negativity can still sneak in. It’s not a given that once you’ve learned to accept yourself unconditionally that you’ll always accept and love yourself unconditionally.

You just have to give that USA some thought from time to time, and if you do, you will discover that living with that USA on the top of your mind will really lift your life. It can do this for pretty much any part of your life, from your career to your relationships. 

It’s so easy to forget about the meaning of my version of USA but it really can make a huge difference in your life. If you make Unconditional Self-Acceptance a super big goal for yourself, and think about it on a regular basis, you will see that by being more and more accepting of yourself and your life you’ll find more success, happiness, and contentment. And that’s because it’s that negativity and self-doubt that can really bring us down.

Whenever I focus on my USA, it helps lift my life in so many ways. It improves the way I do business as well as giving me the confidence and dedication I need to write my books. It has even lifted the quality of my tennis game. I’ve also seen how it can improve my relationships with my dear and wonderful hard-working wife, my super kids, and all my wonderful grand kids. Because when I can accept and love myself, it’s easier to love and accept everybody and everything about the people around me. And I mean everybody. Yes, everyone from new friends to long time buddies and, of course, family members!  

I’m sure you’re familiar with the feeling of being around people who don’t seem to like themselves very much. It can bring everybody down. So, if you stay focused on the good ole USA, you’ll be in a position to lift the lives of everyone around you instead of bringing them down.

It really does work. I say it even borders on the miraculous.

It’s Goal Time

January 1, 2023 by  
Filed under blog

Wow, it’s now a new year and the big question we all should ask ourselves is, “What am I going to do in 2023? It’s that good ole thing we call designing, planning and setting ourselves up for some significant progress and rewards. That is, if you do it right and, as I’ve preached to my reader and followers before, be sure, very sure, that you write down those goals and objectives and put a time deadline on them.

Here are a few parts of our life that we could, and probably should, aim to improve its.

TYPES OF GOALS TO SET

  • Fitness
  • Family and friends
  • Social life
  • Financial objectives
  • Career objectives

And here are a few more that you may want to set as goals for this great year of 2023.

SPECIFIC SUGGESTED GOALS

  • Enjoy life more.
  • Create a list for a better diet.
  • Drink less.
  • Play more.
  • Stop smoking.
  • Read and research more.
  • Stay current in writing your diary. This could even turn into a book.
  • Write down long-term and short-term goals.
  • Be specific in your goal setting.
  • Write goals that are measurable.

Now, after creating this list of yours, maybe it would be a good idea to share your hopes, wants, and goals with your family and friends. But, of course, pick those people that will give you positive and helpful feedback, then maybe you can motivate them to do the same. Work back and forth with them, sharing what your goals are as you work them out. See if some goals that they are considering or have set can help you set more or better goals.

The great thing about going after your goals is that it gives your life more purpose and pushes you to do more and more. You will look back on the goals you’ve reached and get tremendous satisfaction, especially seeing how it will have lifted your life. It will motivate you to keep doing it and maybe, in the process, it will motivate your family and friends to do the same thing.

Go ahead and get started now!

The Great Gratitude List

August 28, 2022 by  
Filed under blog

Although I’ve had a few small health challenges of late, I’ve been feeling a bit better and even more healthy in some ways. I was also grateful that I had not gotten COVID but, oops, it finally caught me! Ouch. Talk about feeling strong and healthy and then suddenly losing all of it and feeling ten times as terrible or even more!

COVID sure got its revenge, but I am finally feeling much better. My terrible experience of feeling so sick struck me hard and made me realize more fully how much good stuff we really have in our lives. I’ve been reminded of just how much we tend to take for granted, at least until we lose some of that great stuff. It’s not just health we take for granted, but happiness and our great friends and family as well. Not many people, including myself, take time to think about these things, maybe taking even less time to count them or make a list of all the wonderful things in our lives so we can really appreciate how much we have. But when things turn bad, and the things we just assume will be there each day aren’t there, that’s when we finally come to truly understand what they mean in our lives. However, it really shouldn’t be just at those times that we realize that.

It’s no surprise that my recent fight with COVID had me thinking about how much I have to be super grateful for. It led me to the idea of listing all the things I am grateful for right now, with a goal to add to that list over time. Of course, I’ll need to include reviewing that list when I’m feeling poorly, am hard on myself, or when my thoughts or actions are bringing my mind and attitude down.

I think that last part is particularly important. Reviewing these kinds of lists can really help the human mind focus and see the positive in our daily lives and beyond. And I do think I have one of those human minds that can use that kind of help. Okay, maybe sometimes my wife doesn’t think my mind is very human!

Sorry! I was just kidding about my wife. She is always so supportive and a really great person. She is one of the things I am super grateful for and I never want to forget that, not even for a moment.

I’m not alone wishing I was more grateful more often for all the many wonderful things I have, am I? If you’re like me, why don’t you give a “Gratitude List” a try. See if it doesn’t help you focus and appreciate all the great things your life has in it!

Contentment is in the Right Now

July 24, 2022 by  
Filed under blog

There are so many things in our lives that we view as priorities — many, many things. There are obvious ones like getting an education, finding a good job, staying in good health, and taking care of the ones you love, including parents, siblings, your spouse, kids, grandkids, and friends. And you want to be sure you have time and energy to pursue the things you love in life as well.

All those things are so important and critical to a good life and even a great life. But many of those items can be thrown off track if we lack contentment and satisfaction. And, I think, there’s one big thing that gives us great contentment — living in the “right now”.

Of course, it can be very difficult, if not impossible, for us to always “live in the now”. Our busy lives distract us, causing us to worry and contemplate what’s coming next. But, I think, our greatest contentment and satisfaction comes from living in the now, so it’s important to make that a priority, too. Luckily, there are easy ways to help us spend more of our mind time living in those right now moments.

  • On a regular basis, ask yourself, “Am I at ease at this moment and living in the now?”
  • Visit the future but don’t stay there. Keep coming back to the right now.
  • Visit the past but don’t bring back any regret or guilt.
  • Make a habit of monitoring your mental and emotional state through self-observation.
  • When you are stressed, stop, pause, take a big deep breath and count in your mind. That’s right. Just count numbers. You can start at 1 and count to 500 or start at 100 or 500 and work backwards. Then refocus on living in the now.
  • Buddha said, “The root of suffering is found in our constant wanting and craving…” so let’s all work at reducing our wanting and craving so aren’t as anxious and can be more present.

Of course, living in the now should be a priority, but you also want to prioritize those things that require planning. The question is, how do you stay in the moment while planning, dreaming, goal setting, and doing all those things that help you get what you want out of life?

Well, you can go ahead and set future plans, dreams and goals, but once they are determined, write them down. That way, when you don’t need them, you can physically set them aside until you want to work on them or need reminders to keep focused. So, as you see, it’s not that you can’t think about the past or the future, but rather that you need to be aware of how much you do think about things that are not part of the moment you are living right now.

Awareness of what your mind is doing is a big part of living in the right now moment. When you are aware of what your mind is doing, you can steer it back to the right now after you give yourself the time to plan future things or momentarily ponder the past. Once you have, try to become totally absorbed in what you are doing, thinking, or being right now and enjoy the contentment that comes with it.

Keys to a Fit Brain

April 3, 2022 by  
Filed under blog

The human brain really is a very powerful instrument and is used for the most wonderful things, but it also can be very harmful, depending on what you put in it.   

For instance, we can read books that help move us towards our goals in life or that comfort us. Alternately, we could read garbage online that skews what we think or discourages us from even trying to make our dreams a reality. We can choose to be friends with very smart people, allowing us to learn from them and grow from that knowledge. Or we can surround ourselves with people that are vindictive, derogatory, or pessimistic. Which do you think would help your brain and improve your life? That’s easy to figure out.

But even if we read great books and keep the best and most positive people around us, we also need to keep our brains fit and ready to take in all that good stuff that helps us greatly improve our lives. Here’s a few ideas that might be just what you need to keep your brain in great shape.

1. Think about thinking. This is sometimes called metacognition, and it makes you aware of how you learn so you can improve your learning and problem-solving skills.

2. Read books about improving the brain. Just search my blog under the keyword “brain” for my many recommendations.

3. Associate with intelligent people so that you are constantly learning.

4. Look into food and supplements that can help the brain, like gingko biloba or DHEA. Be sure to read up on dosage and side effects as even natural supplements can be dangerous in certain situations. For instance, gingko is a blood thinner which could be a problem if you take a blood thinning medication. Other good supplements include B-complex vitamins, vitamins C, D, and E, magnesium, choline, zinc, and omega-3 fatty acids.

5. Meditate. It can help improve your concentration and memory, reduce stress and anxiety and help preserve your brain function as you age.

6. Exercise. Blood flow to the brain is a huge brain helper and exercise increases that blood flow. Running can be great, but if you don’t like running, walking is also tremendously helpful.

Speaking of walking, I have a daily 20,000 step goal and I almost always hit that thanks to the Fit Bit I keep in my pocket. I challenge you to set some walking goals to make you feel better, help your brain and most likely increase your life expectancy! That, along with the stuff listed above, will keep your brain fit and healthy for years to come, if not for the rest of your life!

Of Repetition and Courage

February 6, 2022 by  
Filed under blog

In the foreword of my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, I included a great quote from my friend and mentor Paul J. Meyer of Waco, Texas. He said, “Rather than read a thousand different books, find a few that are powerful and life-changing and read them many times. Wait between readings for the material to sift through your brain, then read the book again. With the repetition, you’ll remember more of the information and more of what you learn will really sink in.” Being taught this from my wonderful friend helped my life in so many areas that I couldn’t count them all, but one of the big things this practice has done for me is to boost my courage to do the things I want to do.

In Chapter One of my book, I explained that “it doesn’t matter how old you are—you can be a young buck or an old fart. However, sometimes the young may lack the courage to go for something BIG or they may doubt they have enough experience or knowledge or resources to make it happen. And those who are older sometimes fall into the thinking trap that it’s too late—that somehow they’ve run out of time.”.

In that same chapter, I also observed that a tragic thing can happen to your life as you’re on the way to your death. That thing that some call a midlife crisis can hit you hard. During this time you can begin to run out of steam, stagnate, lose confidence and trust in yourself, and even give up on life. Because of this, many people die inside long before they’re buried. I have to admit that most of these things started happening to me as well, although not until about the age of 70.

Make no mistake, even young folks can experience this! There are too many in their 30s and younger who quit on themselves and never reach their full potential. Others think they have all the time in the world and never quite grab a hold of their lives or find direction and true purpose. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Anyone can greatly improve their life and find the courage to rebuild their passion for living. I’ll talk about that next week.

One more thing. Are you as amazed as I am when so-called coincidences pop up? While writing this blog, another great friend, a basketball buddy (and the guy on our high school team that was key to our winning the finals game in the last 20 seconds of our tournament in Rome, Italy), Ed Beckcom called. And you know where he called me from? Waco, Texas, where Paul J Meyer is from! Wow. I do think that these things we call coincidences are really our brain waves traveling all over the globe to bring us the most unexpected connections. 

Next Page »