Royal Reality

As I wrote last week, the death of my older brother right in from of me shook me up for the rest of my life. Probably more than anything else, the simple fact that life is fragile and so very short and can end at any moment, has been forcefully pushed in my face and inside my heart.

At the tender age of 15, I suddenly knew for sure that life could be finished in an instant. I knew that fact from an intellectual point of view as well as an emotional one. But knowing such a thing became a huge wakeup call that drove me to do more–much more–not only then, but throughout my life. Since then, I’ve always had an acute sense of time’s passing and of its absolute and undeniable precious value.

Without question, my first big goal after that great tragedy was to play professional basketball. In my 15-year-old brain I just felt that if I became a great basketball player it would make sense out of my brother’s death. So, I took off chasing that dream. However, there was a problem. I had a great dream but without a great plan, could I really reach that goal? Oh yes, I had a good mind set, and a pretty firm one, but what my young brain didn’t realize was that there is so much more to a winning formula than setting a big goal.

Today I like to tell people, “Yes, I played basketball at Utah State University.” Then I slowly admit that I didn’t actually play very much, but I had a great seat on the bench. I slowly gave up my great dream to be that next Bob Cousy—one of the great players back then.  

It was tough to hang on to a goal that seemed to be slipping further away with each game. I wasn’t tall enough and I was at least one step too slow. Besides—and this was probably the biggest thing holding me back—I didn’t have a well thought out plan of attack that would have set out the details of all the workouts, ultra conditioning, and extra dedication I should have added to my training, both on and off season. I pretty much just dreamed about playing pro basketball. I thought, “I’m going to be professional. I’m going to be a big basketball star. I’m going to be like Bob Cousy, some day!” Nice thoughts, but I had no thought-out plan!

It was during those college years that I began to learn the rest of the formula, or the rest of the code and pathway that lifts a person into the rarified air that transforms great dreams into great goals, and then all the way through to one’s own “royal reality”. I’ll talk more about that formula and what it can do for you in upcoming posts.  

Big Time Persistence

One of the best kept secrets to big time success is focus, focus, focus. And persistence. These apply to so many things, especially wealth and health. If you do a lot of thinking on the things you want to do in life, whether it’s a huge goal or small, whether you want it to happen in the next hour or month or year, it is super critical for you to take time to think it through, do some planning, set goals, and put it on a time schedule. Do this and you may be big time surprised at how much you can get done.

There are certain things you can do that can almost guarantee your success if you stay on track, focus, and are persistent. In addition to writing your goals and dreams down, read, read, read articles, books and anything else that tells you about the success of others that wanted to do what you want to accomplish. Reading their stories should motivate you to get going and go after your goals.

Next, go out of your way to meet those people that have done what you want to do. Just be persistent, and when you meet them, pick the brains of those super successful people. I’ve done this with so many of my goals and it really works.

Okay, it’s not easy to do all this but persistence is one of the keys to making this happen so keep up that persistence. You can start with friends and family who have been successful. Once you’ve picked their brains and discovered how useful it is, this should supercharge you to go out and find others. 

So head out and find the people that have done the kinds of things you want to be doing. You will discover that there are some super successful people who love to coach and will give great advice on how they made it big. Maybe you can even get them to make you a list of what worked for them. Most super successful  people love to coach and be a mentor for other people who are really sincere about doing what they did.
For next week’s blog post, I want to share with you my story about all the many things and people that helped me big time, and I want to do the same for you!

A Reminder

My wonderful editor, Sage Bray, sent me a reminder email this week asking if I had my blog for this week and, if so, to send it to her for her to make necessary changes or suggestions. Yes, she sent me the email just as a “reminder”. She does this most every week, just to keep us on schedule. But this week, her little email was also a good “reminder” for an idea, one I could use for this week’s blog post.

That idea is that “reminders” can do such great things for us, as long as we pay attention and follow through on them. We receive them in all kinds of ways. The source of “reminders” are everything from notes to yourself of what needs to be done or phone calls, emails, or a kind verbal reminder from our spouse, friends, boss, children or even strangers, who remind us unknowingly, that something needs to get done, soon or even right now.

Those reminders can also be just thoughts that jump into our mind, usually stimulated by something we saw on TV or read in the newspaper or read in a book or an email from a friend. Great reminders for all kinds of things we didn’t know we needed reminding about really are everywhere. I think we just have to be open to asking ourselves, “Is this something I need to do or pay attention to now, or more often?” We have so many things always pushing to be on the top of our mind and so some things get lost. Reminders help us dig out those really important things that are getting pushed down.

Can you imagine a world without reminders? The world we be such a different place and not in a good way—so many things just wouldn’t get done. It would be hard to improve our lives without reminders. Our relationships and our wellbeing could suffer if we aren’t reminded of those important things that keep them strong. Most, if not all reminders should be written down. Or at least the most important ones, the ones that will have really bad consequences if they’re missed. And, yes, reminders are like goals that we set for ourselves, just usually short term, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t as important as our big goals or at least the steps to reach those big goals.

So here is a reminder for you to just pay attention and look for the reminders that pop up during your day. We can’t remember everything we need to do all the time but reminders are there to help us remember the important stuff. Just look for them.

The Power of Writing it Down

I’ve written a lot about my research on the benefits of goal setting and how very important it is, even critical, to do whatever you want to do with your life. Goal setting can have a huge effect on just about every part of your world, whether it’s about your job, your health, lifting your mood, pushing out any depression you have, or what you want for the future.

It has been proven that you can heal some parts of your body by using your brain to work things out. That’s how powerful our brains are. Combine this power with goal setting and you can change a person’s life while lifting yourself to huge and greater heights.

Goal setting is not super hard—it’s the work you have to do to reach your goal that takes hard work. But, even so, there are parts of goal setting that are easy to overlook.

There is one big thing that doesn’t always get done when setting goals, even though it is quite easy to do. It’s surprising, the number of people that don’t do this, or only do it once in a while.  And what is that little extra thing that hugely increases your chance of reaching your goals? It is simply to write down your goals, put a time line on them, and review and visit your written goals regularly.

In my recent January 15^th post, I shared a list of affirmations that can help you with your goals setting. They are from Sujatha Lalgudi’s book, Gratitude Journal. It’s a super list that I think can really help many of us struggling humans.

I received the book as a gift and a few days after I received it, I began writing down this list of affirmations from this great little book and then I tried to re-read what I wrote down several times a day.

After doing this for a number of days, I really noticed a change in myself, primarily a very positive change in my thinking. It has worked so well that I want to challenge you to do the same. First write down the list. We take what we write down a lot more seriously than the things we think of in our heads or just read in a book. Then read through this list several times a day and see the difference in can make in you.

Go to this post to get the list I pulled from the book or, even better, go get yourself a copy.

Just the simple act of writing things down can make a difference in how successful you are with what you set out to do. Think of yourself and how important your goals are and see how writing things down can really start changing your life for the better!

It’s Goal Time

Wow, it’s now a new year and the big question we all should ask ourselves is, “What am I going to do in 2023? It’s that good ole thing we call designing, planning and setting ourselves up for some significant progress and rewards. That is, if you do it right and, as I’ve preached to my reader and followers before, be sure, very sure, that you write down those goals and objectives and put a time deadline on them.

Here are a few parts of our life that we could, and probably should, aim to improve its.

TYPES OF GOALS TO SET

• Fitness
• Family and friends
• Social life
• Financial objectives
• Career objectives

And here are a few more that you may want to set as goals for this great year of 2023.

SPECIFIC SUGGESTED GOALS

• Enjoy life more.
• Create a list for a better diet.
• Drink less.
• Play more.
• Stop smoking.
• Read and research more.
• Stay current in writing your diary. This could even turn into a book.
• Write down long-term and short-term goals.
• Be specific in your goal setting.
• Write goals that are measurable.

Now, after creating this list of yours, maybe it would be a good idea to share your hopes, wants, and goals with your family and friends. But, of course, pick those people that will give you positive and helpful feedback, then maybe you can motivate them to do the same. Work back and forth with them, sharing what your goals are as you work them out. See if some goals that they are considering or have set can help you set more or better goals.

The great thing about going after your goals is that it gives your life more purpose and pushes you to do more and more. You will look back on the goals you’ve reached and get tremendous satisfaction, especially seeing how it will have lifted your life. It will motivate you to keep doing it and maybe, in the process, it will motivate your family and friends to do the same thing.

Go ahead and get started now!

Embrace the Struggle

Think about this:

How would you feel if you played a game of golf tomorrow and shot a perfect score—that is, you shot par on every single hole? How would the inside of your head handle that experience, especially if it was your very first time playing golf?

Understandably, you most likely would feel fantastic initially. How high on the satisfaction scale would that golf score put you? I’d say pretty much at the top! Contentment? Oh, yes, you’d be pretty darn content. Satisfaction? Yes, huge amounts of that!

But how long would those feelings last? I’m afraid that, for most people, it would not last very long.

The fact is a perfect score =no fun.

I bet your reaction to that statement is, at first, “No way! A perfect score is what I’d be after so, of course it’d be fun!”

But let’s fast-forward a week. Let’s say you played golf a second time and, again, got that perfect par score. How would you feel at that time? Sure, you’d still feel pretty good, right?

Now, let’s say that you continue to shoot a perfect par score every time, no matter what golf course you played. How do you think you would feel if it continued that way, where a perfect score became absolutely routine for you? Would you continue to feel content and satisfied?

Not likely. Now why is that?

The thing is, we really don’t appreciate things unless we’ve worked for them. That’s one of the reasons that almost all lottery winners end up miserable. They didn’t have to work for that money, so there’s nothing to be proud of by gaining it. We just don’t value or derive much satisfaction from things in our lives that we didn’t have to struggle with, fight for, or otherwise work hard to have and achieve.

We do much better, are happier and more content, when we are challenged and, especially when we overcome the challenges! Like with that imaginary first game of golf where you got a perfect score. It would have been super exciting then because you didn’t know you could do it, actually probably assumed you’d play terribly, but you would have tried your best, making that perfect score feel well-earned! After that though, you would know you could do it, so it would become less and less exciting.  

Now let’s say you decided to be a golf pro in 5 years. Lots of people would say you can’t do that. But if you work really hard, golf every chance you get, and take lessons from the absolute best trainers, you might just get to go pro before those 5 years were up. Now, think about how THAT would feel! It would be beyond amazing, right? Better than a surprise perfect score first game even.

You see, we just love beating the odds and achieving really hard things. It makes us feel accomplished and of value to ourselves and others. We also get to tell the stories of our struggles and how we reached our goals!

So, next time you find yourself wishes things were easy, that you could win all the time, and that things you want would just fall in your lap, remember that you won’t be all that happy if that’s how things always went for you. Embrace the challenges and look forward to your hard won accomplishments!

Lift Your Life — Focus on the Present

One of the best ways to increase happiness in your life, and therefore maintain and lift your passion, is to stay in the present.

This can be challenging for most of us, if not all of us, when things are stressful. Most of the time we are worried about the past or the future and not really paying attention to what is happening right now, so we miss life as it is happening. That can make it tough to live passionately in that “right now” time and place.

Living this way takes practice. You have to train your brain to live in the moment. It’s something I’ve worked to achieve all my life. It is easier now than when I started, but it still takes a concerted effort. It is, however, more than worth it.

As you learn how to redirect your thoughts and focus on the present, it’s important not to be hard on yourself. (Take a look at my previous blog where I talk about good ole USA—not the country but “Unconditional Self-Acceptance”!) Just keep working at it and when you get cut off, when your mind wanders, take the time to steer your thoughts and yourself back to the present.

Yoga and/or meditation are ways that we all can practice keeping our focus on the present moment, making us happier and more content. Yoga and meditation are way underrated in this country. They can be such great tools and you don’t need to go to a gym or studio to do either.

For instance, you can do yoga at home with tools such as the Yoga for Beginners with Patricia Walden DVD or through videos found on websites such as Yoga with Adriene. There are also many websites designed to help coach you and I on the best ways to meditate, such as Mindful.org. Even just 10 minutes a day on either of these can make an enormous difference in your life.

Keep practicing and you will lift your life and get better at it the more you do it. You’ll be amazed at how much spending even just 10 minutes a day focusing on the present can increase your life and happiness factor. It’s the real deal!

The Joy in the Journey

Would you agree that most of us, at one time or another, especially when we were young, had thoughts of being rich and or famous? And maybe those thoughts were followed by, “If I was rich and famous, my life would be perfect or darn near perfect!”

If you were at all like me, you certainly had those thoughts. Most people I’ve talked with over the years had those thoughts run through their mind at some point. But I’m here to tell you that a near-perfect life does not necessarily follow fame or wealth.

Yes, wealth can make a lot of things in your life an easier, but if you think that tons of money and fame will automatically bring you happiness and contentment, you’re dead wrong. In fact, I think you will find a higher early death rate and more addiction in the rich and famous than in the middle class. That is saying something about how imperfect a life with wealth and fame can be.

Riches and fame can give you a lot more choices, but you do need to be extremely careful with the choices you make. For example, gifting your wealth to charitable causes can bring far greater and longer lasting satisfaction than feeding a cocaine or alcohol addiction with all that money.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that money and fame, or going after great and lofty financial glory, are not worthy goals. Those are energizing, lots of fun, and can be very satisfying. Just be sure you enjoy each hour and day of your pursuit and be aware that whatever the end results of your journey, it won’t make your life perfect.

The thing is, nobody’s life is perfect and when you realize that and accept that fact, your satisfaction and contentment can really begin to soar. Trust me on that. I’ve been there, done that, and learned it. I have to remind myself that life is never perfect on an almost daily basis, pushing myself to concentrate on the big multi-year goals while, at the same time, remembering to “live in the now” and have tons of joy while on the journey.

Money can do great things for you, your family, and your life, but it is simply not everything. It is not the key to a happy, fulfilled life. Look beyond the wealth to what you can do to make things better for others as well as exploring and enjoying life. You don’t want your life to just be about making money. You want it to be about what that money can do for you and others. That’s where you will find the joy.

Keys to Wealth Building

Most of us want to build our wealth and I have been very fortunate and quite successful in that regard. Friends as well as strangers have asked me many times about the secrets to my success. I wouldn’t call all my methods secrets but I guess if you don’t know them, then they are secrets to you.

So, here’s a few of those so-called secrets that have helped me a ton:

1. Read good books about finance, then think about what you’ve learned, and find someone who has been successfully building wealth to discuss your ideas with.

2. Record your thoughts in a journal as you read. This will help you retain knowledge.

3. Write down your goals along with the time frames for reaching them. As you probably know, writing goals with time frames drives your brain and body to follow through and do it.

I love this quote: “Always have two books—one to read from and one to write in.”

Let me explain a bit more about the first point—the part about finding people that are good at what you want to learn. All my life I’ve looked for mentors—those people that are good at what I wanted to learn and do.

The famous billionaire Warren Buffett said, “I was lucky to have the right heroes. Tell me who your heroes are and I’ll tell you how you’ll turn out to be. The qualities of the one you admire are the traits that you, with a little practice, can make your own, and that, if practiced, will become habit forming.”

I was very fortunate to meet Larry Rosenberg, a very, very rich man, and he was kind enough to mentor me. He not only referred me to the best books to read to lead a person to huge wealth, he also spent lots of time with me over lunches. He gave me great advice, hints, and direction concerning where to look for the best properties and what to do to fix them up to greatly increase value and then sell them. Wow. His advice sure worked wonders for me.

If you want great wealth, or more wealth, start digging. Read the right books and research who you should get to know. Find the right super successful, wealthy people and asked them to mentor you! Yep, if you want it, go do it.

Aging and the Brain

Having just turned age 77, I’ve caught myself thinking way too much about my age which has not helped me at all. It has got me worrying more about aging. But then my son sent me a book on aging that talks about how much our thinking can affect how we age. I started the book and have been amazed.

The human mind is a very complex and interesting part of our bodies. It can be a huge help to us but it also has the potential to harm us. I’m halfway through the book and am learning so much about how the brain can help our aging selves. If we use our brain correctly, it can actually be a big factor in keeping us younger than our actual number of years.

The book, Disrupt Aging: A Bold New Path to Living Your Best Life at Every Age, was written by Jo Ann Jenkins who, at very young age, became the CEO of AARP. Jo Ann said she wrote the book, “because I believe there is a bigger conversation to be had — focused not on just the historic burdens but also on the potential historic benefits of living longer.”

She goes on to say we need to change our thinking and change the conversation about what it means to get older. Our minds and actions should be not about aging. Our lives can be lived feeling much younger and doing so much more than people several generations ago could or would do.

She makes the point that, “Science is making longer lives possible, and we’re just now beginning to realize the opportunities those longer lives offer. People are reinventing work, searching for purpose, embracing technology, and opening themselves up to new experiences like never before.”

As we age, we really need to focus on our health, our wealth, and really work hard to develop a very good sense of our purpose at a middle age or older. That can extend your life in a big way.

Jo Ann preaches how life enhancing it is to think like a younger person, emphasizing that we should try new things, take chances, and not fear aging. She also tells the wonderful story of a 79-year-old lady, Ernestine Shepherd. “With her flat stomach, toned arms, and excellent health, you’d never guess this female bodybuilder is seventy- nine years old… following the death of her sister and many health problems and depression, Shepherd set a goal to get in shape. She was declared the World’s Oldest Performing Female Bodybuilder by the Guinness Book of World Records in 2010.”

Wow, what a great story. That should motivate all of us to go after our big goals no matter how tough they may seem and put our fears aside. Yep, it can all be done in your mind, in our great brains.

I do want to talk more about this subject of aging and some of the other things our brain can do to help us stay young, active, and productive. So, next week’s blog I will continue down this road.

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