The Time for Gratitude is Now

In the past few days, it’s been very shocking to see in the news all the damage left by these huge storms we’ve had lately all over the world. The damage wasn’t what most people expected and so many didn’t see it coming but then it hit, quickly and so very powerfully that thousands of people lost their homes, businesses, and for some, sadly, their lives.

What we humans experience hits us at all different levels but sometimes what hits us the most is the loss of things we’ve taken for granted. It’s only then, after we lose them, that we realize we haven’t given much thought and appreciation for all that we have. Everything from small possessions to big things like a best friend or family member can be lost in an instant.

I have experienced this many times in my life. There were big losses, but I also lost many small things that I’ve felt kind of stupid for not being very grateful for when I had them. There are things, like being healthy,  that don’t seem like a big deal when you have it, but it can be devasting when you lose even small parts of it. I have been realizing that a lot lately, that great health is something we need to always be grateful for. We need to take notice every day and be thankful for our good health and well-being.

If you take a look at our lives here in the good ole USA, compared with most other countries in the world, wow, we have it so good here! We really ought to take time to notice all the good things we have in our lives right now and not wait until we lose them to appreciate them.

Recently it struck me hard that I have not taken enough time to appreciate so many things.  One of the big things that was taken away from me, that I realized I always took for granted, was my ability to play tennis.

I took up the sport when I was 35 years old and was given lessons by a former professional that had big time success and even played at Wimbledon, a tournament considered one of 4 greatest in the world. I was later in many big tourneys myself, receiving 2 gold medals at the annual Huntsman World Senior Games. I even met some of the game’s greatest and most famous players like Roger Federer and Andrew Agassi while hanging out in the player’s lounge at that tournament.

Then my time playing some pretty good tennis all changed when I had an unforeseeable accident, falling so hard that I was knocked out for over 15 minutes. Talk about things I took for granted! I didn’t really appreciate all those great games I got to play and all the tournaments I was able to win until I lost my ability to play. I could hardly hit the ball or even run.

Luckily, I have able to start playing again and I am loving it. Not being able to for a time made me realize how very important it is to take time to appreciate all the good things in life and do that before something hits you hard and changes everything, for the moment or even forever. In other words, let’s all appreciate the good things, big and small, when we have and do that before we lose it.

The Friendship Boost

Last week I talked about the importance of reminding yourself to keep doing the good and healthy things that elevate your life. Having a good, active social life is a big one. It’s not only me that believes keeping up friendships can boost your health and the quality of life either. Some years back, I read an article on the Mayo Clinic website about just how important it is to maintain your friends and social circle.

According to this article friendships can:

• Increase your sense of belonging and purpose.
• Boost your happiness.
• Reduce stress.
• Improve your self-worth.
• Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one.
• Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise.

Now, that’s a lot of benefits for something most of us would like to have more of anyways, at least we think we would. But we don’t always keep up those relationships, which is strange. Why don’t we?

It seems that life just gets in the way, and we always don’t prioritize our social life. We are constantly drawn away by things such as work, caring for children or elderly parents, or trying to make a dent in that long to-do list that is always hanging over our heads. We also move around a lot these days so even well-established friendships start to fade with the distance between us all. And then it’s hard to find the time and even motivation to go out and make new friends. But it would seem, we can’t really afford not to.

It’s not that we need to have a lot of friends to get these benefits, but rather, according to the Mayo clinic article, it’s the quality of the friendships. You want to have friendships that fulfill your individual need for a certain kind of closeness, comfort, and availability. This is different for everyone but the important thing is that they are friendships you value.

So, take time to call, visit, write or whatever else is appropriate for the relationship you have with your friends. Don’t let time and distance get in the way of acquiring all the great benefits friendships bring you. And, remember, you’re also giving those same benefits to others so you’re helping to boost their health as well as yours.

If you’d like to read the Mayo clinic article, you can find it at: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/friendships/MH00125

The Important Stuff

On my wall, I put up a great poster that has, in large letters, that old USA symbol on it, but it’s not what you think. You may recall my writing about that USA thing some time ago. Do you remember what it stands for?

The large letters don’t stand for the United States of America, not in this case. They stand for Unconditional Self- Acceptance!  That big chart on the wall lifts my thinking and my mood and even if it’s just a short glance and a quick thought, it still lift my mind. So, I’ve made a habit of looking at the big sign on my bedroom wall almost every day and thinking about what it means. It’s amazing what those 3-letter do for my mind.

I would strongly suggest you get a sign like that up on your wall too. It could be the USA sign or make you own sign with those letters. Or choose something else that has been helpful for you. Just give yourself a reminder that makes you stop and think and appreciate yourself and what you have.  It’s so good for your mind and can help raise your mood.

Here are a few other thoughts that have helped lift my life, my mood, and my mind and that you might want to put up as a reminder in your own life.

1. Be grateful.
2. Stay physically active.
3. Don’t let your social life slip. In fact, try to make it bigger and better. Be an instigator of your social life by calling and inviting friends to do something with you and have them invite their friends.
4. Think about how you can motivate your family and friends to get out and join you for breakfast lunch, and dinner. Doing this not only raises your mood but the mood of the people who come along.
5. Stay healthy and eat smart.
6. Do what works for you. It might be reading certain books or writing your own book, even if you are not planning to have it published. Such goals can give you a huge boost of confidence and can lift your mood.
7. Travel and experience new places and people. Wow, I sure loved my around the world trip with my wife, meeting all those wonderful and interesting people, some who were very famous and successful people.
8. Teach your kids and friends what works for you to lift your mind and your life and explain how it can help them too.
9. Be sure to live in and appreciate the great right now moments!

That’s just a short beginning list. I could add many more items to my list but I don’t want to bore you or take any  more of your time. However, I bet you can add a ton to the list as well. And you should! They might all be things you are already very aware of but we all need reminders to keep focused on all the great important stuff.

Enhancing Your Accountability

Some years back, I had a profound thought with huge life enhancing potential for everyone on the planet. Practicing this particular idea has changed and helped my life for a long time, but it was only then, when I really identified it and put it into words, that I was able to share it with others.

It’s a simple concept. Any goal, habit, human quality, or desire that I preach, teach, or otherwise pontificate about automatically, and almost without effort, pushes me to do more of it myself. Those spoken and written pontifications are like a truth drug for my mind, pushing me to do the things I have encouraged and taught others to do. I am totally convinced it will and does work that way for everyone.

If you have been reading my blogs for a while, you might recall that I set some pretty ambitious work out, weight loss, and healthy eating goals for myself. This was particularly true back when I was counting down to my big 70th birthday. 90 days before my 70th birthday, I set some of my toughest health and workout goals ever and in those 3 months, my mind fixed heavily on those self-promises. Yes, it was all advice I gave to myself but I also started to share it here, with my readers, and I believe that practice was one of the reasons I was able to do so well and keep it up.

I guess you could say that my brain pushed me to remain “true to myself” and to my readers. You see, if you teach and preach to others what they could and should do for self-improvement, or just about any subject, your inner self gives you the message that you must live up to what you put out there.

We all know the saying “practice what you preach” and our inner most brain and soul does not want us to be a hypocrite, therefore our subconscious pushes us to be true to our words. I am pretty darn convinced that is how we automatically become better at whatever subject, goal or life enhancing ideal we talk about and teach to others. It’s a concept called accountability. Only when you teach it, you’re not only putting yourself in a position to be a shining example of what you preach, but you are deeply reminded of the value of your words.

I challenge you to not just work on self-improvement, but to start teaching others about the things that you want to improve in your life. As always, write down your goals and objectives so you can stay on track, then share and teach what you know. In a few months, take a look back and see what this enhanced accountability has done for you as well as for the others you taught new things to.

I would suggest that you think deeply and intently about this and then put it into practice. See if it doesn’t profoundly enhance the aspects of your life that you aim to drastically improve. Whether you want to get in super great shape or become a much better partner, or even make a few million dollars, you can do it if you follow these ideas with commitment and reinforce it by putting it out into the world to help others.

The Time For Healthy Habits is Now

I had a bit of a fit while I was in Paris last week. That fit was a big trip next to a busy street. I went down and my right eye got hammered. The good news is that I didn’t get hit or run over by a car. Yay! Always try to find the bright side, right?

I recently read Stephen Perrine’s book, The Whole Body Reset, and recall the section where he talks about what we can do to live longer and healthier lives. He discusses two different ways that we can dramatically change our lives and our well-being. It’s all about what we eat and how active we stay. It’s the part about staying active they came to mind after my little incident.

The fall was my fault and, I believe, a big part of it was the simple fact that I have not been working out very much. I’ve had a lot going on and became lax with my exercise routines. As a result, I’ve lost a lot of muscle strength and flexibility, so when I lost my balance, my muscle reaction time was slow, and I went down very hard.

I’m sure I could’ve avoided such a bad fall if I’d only followed some of the advice I found in that book. Stephen Perrine says you should try to do exercise that “fits your lifestyle and your body — walking, running, biking, hiking, dancing in the kitchen — along with some strength and resistance training. Shoot for about 30 minutes a day, about five days per week.”

Not only could this kind of easy exercise routine help someone avoid serious injuries, Perrine says this will help you live longer. But it takes more than just exercise to increase your longevity. Most of his advice and research has shown that what you eat each day has even more to do with health and longevity than exercising.

The most surprising and advice he gives is not so much about calories as it is about what foods you are eating. His research and experiences with people who have followed his plan is that if a person eats 3 meals a day, eating mainly foods that are high in protein and fiber, that will help keep the weight off.

So, between trying to avoid injuries and aiming to live longer, healthier lives, it’s obvious that we all would benefit from keeping up with an exercise routine and healthy eating habits. And now is a good time to recommit to living your best possible life. You don’t want to wait until you get hurt or have a health scare to work on those things. Commit to living a better, healthier life today and every day.

The Great Gratitude List

Although I’ve had a few small health challenges of late, I’ve been feeling a bit better and even more healthy in some ways. I was also grateful that I had not gotten COVID but, oops, it finally caught me! Ouch. Talk about feeling strong and healthy and then suddenly losing all of it and feeling ten times as terrible or even more!

COVID sure got its revenge, but I am finally feeling much better. My terrible experience of feeling so sick struck me hard and made me realize more fully how much good stuff we really have in our lives. I’ve been reminded of just how much we tend to take for granted, at least until we lose some of that great stuff. It’s not just health we take for granted, but happiness and our great friends and family as well. Not many people, including myself, take time to think about these things, maybe taking even less time to count them or make a list of all the wonderful things in our lives so we can really appreciate how much we have. But when things turn bad, and the things we just assume will be there each day aren’t there, that’s when we finally come to truly understand what they mean in our lives. However, it really shouldn’t be just at those times that we realize that.

It’s no surprise that my recent fight with COVID had me thinking about how much I have to be super grateful for. It led me to the idea of listing all the things I am grateful for right now, with a goal to add to that list over time. Of course, I’ll need to include reviewing that list when I’m feeling poorly, am hard on myself, or when my thoughts or actions are bringing my mind and attitude down.

I think that last part is particularly important. Reviewing these kinds of lists can really help the human mind focus and see the positive in our daily lives and beyond. And I do think I have one of those human minds that can use that kind of help. Okay, maybe sometimes my wife doesn’t think my mind is very human!

Sorry! I was just kidding about my wife. She is always so supportive and a really great person. She is one of the things I am super grateful for and I never want to forget that, not even for a moment.

I’m not alone wishing I was more grateful more often for all the many wonderful things I have, am I? If you’re like me, why don’t you give a “Gratitude List” a try. See if it doesn’t help you focus and appreciate all the great things your life has in it!

A Pill-less Placebo

You’ve heard of the placebo effect, right? It’s that brain-body connection in which the brain is tricked into believing that a simple sugar pill can relieve pain or cure certain illnesses by simply telling the person that the pill they are taking is genuine medicine. That’s how powerful our brains really are!

There’s a book I’ve talked about many times before called Super Brain by Deepak Chopra and Rudolph E. Tanzi, which points out that, if we so chose, we could set up or create our own placebo effect at any time and without any kind of pill.

“Where did the patient’s relief come from?” the authors ask in regard to the results of placebo effect studies. They then answer, “It came from the mind telling the body to get well.” Your mind can and does control healing of all kinds including pain, disease, and wounds that our bodies deal with from time to time.

“In serious illness, doubts and fears play a marked role, which is why a practice like meditation or going to group counseling has been shown to help,” the authors write.

But this effect isn’t just for serious illness. We can do this to relieve of heal all kinds of pain, injury and disease, if you truly believe in it.

The authors suggest that there is a specific method that will allow anyone at any time to turn on the pill-less placebo effect. It requires the same conditions as in a classic placebo response:
1. You trust what is happening.
2. You set aside doubt and fear.
3. You don’t send conflicting messages that negate each other.
4. You open the channels of your mind-body communication.
5. You let go and allow the healing system to do its work.

That last item is a big one. Our bodies have an amazing ability to heal themselves, but we need to truly believe in that. When we get a cut on our finger or knee, we slap on a band-aid and know that it will heal itself. In doing that, we’ve just let our brain send a positive message to our cells to do their job, right? Shouldn’t that faith in our body to heal itself in such a small matter be equally effective when it comes to more serious issues?

The problem is, when we are faced with a serious illness, we let our minds jump in with all kinds of worry and negative thoughts, which pretty much does the opposite of the things listed above.

If we are going to benefit from our own built-in placebo effect, then we’ve got to, at a minimum, follow the list of the five conditions above. If you can do that, you are supporting your body’s ability to take care of you, as it is supposed to do. Believe in that ability, and talk positively, both out loud and in your mind, about how well your body can heal itself, and you’ll see the results for yourself.

Good Mood is in Your Food

Depression. it’s something none of us humans like but, at certain stages of life and under various circumstances, many of us have been hit by the big, bad D word.

In 2020, there were about just under 15 million cases of major depression in the United States. Not surprisingly, when Covid it, there was a 25% increase in depression cases. It’s also interesting to note that more people get depressed on Sunday than any other day of the week. Perhaps it’s because, both during pandemic restrictions and on Sundays, we have less structure in our lives. During those times, we may have gone without goals or plans and, certainly during the pandemic lockdown, routines were often thrown out the window.

Certainly, having a set routine and goals for the day can help a lot with depression, but there are several other methods for avoiding or getting rid of depression if you get hit with it. There is even one surprisingly simple way to reduce the likelihood of depression. Would you believe that simple thing is the foods that you eat?

I’ve read a lot about this and, from what I’ve found, I have been able to create a list of some of the most helpful foods for getting you out of a depressed state of mind. Here are some that I focus on:

• Nuts, especially almonds
• Fresh strawberries
• Yogurt
• Whole grain bread
• Celery
• Bananas
• Beans
• Peanut butter
• Ginger tea
• Foods rich in vitamin B, C, D, E, and zinc such as avocado, peas, spinach

There are certain vitamins and supplements that help a lot as well:

• B vitamins, especially B12 and Folate
• Vitamin C, D, E
• Ginkgo biloba extract
• St. John’s wort
• DHEA
• 5 HTP
• Turmeric
• Folic acid
• DHA
• Folic acid
• L-tyrosine
• Magnesium

You also want to drink lots of water and drink very little or no alcohol.

I eat and take most of the above and it has helped me big time. There are a lot more foods and supplements that help reduce or eliminate depression though. So, if you are struggling, or someone close to you needs help in that part of their life, look up options on the internet and, most importantly, talk to your doctor about changes to your diet and supplement regimen.

Although diet is very important, don’t forget those other simple things you can do to get out, and stay out, of those depressive moods. Set agendas and routines for yourself, get outside, and try new things such as walking through new neighborhoods, meeting new people, or planning a vacation or weekend getaway to some place you’ve never been and know very little about.

Remember, the mind craves unique places, novel experiences, new friends, and interesting new people, and when we are not getting those things, increases our chances of falling into a depression. So, push yourself to find those new places and people as well as switching up your diet to support a healthy and positive mood.

Age is Not a Number

Last week I had said I’d planned to add to the list of things you can do to reset yourself and slow your aging. But life got a bit complicated, and I have to postpone creating that list until next week. But here is an update to a post I did some 8 years ago that addresses some of these same things.

On January 8th of 2014, I launched what I called my “90 Day Super Quest”. That quest was an ambitious goal to get myself into the best possible physical and mental shape of my entire life and I was starting that exactly 90 days before I turned 70!

Just one week into my super quest, I was right on schedule with my workouts which included tennis, weightlifting, sit-ups, push-ups, and stretching. I had also worked on the mental side of my quest by keeping up with reading, writing, making new friends, and spending lots of time with old friends and family. However, I noticed a problem right around the one-week mark. It was that old demon—that negative inner self-talk. I had become way too focused on the fact that I was getting older, with that number 70 dominating the chatterbox inside my head, and not in a positive way.

But then I just happened to pick up a book that I’ve read and written about many times, and it flipped open to page 55 where the word “aging” jumped out at me. The book was Susan Jeffers’ Feel the Fear and Beyond, her follow-up book to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. And, wow, does she have some great thoughts about aging and what your inner voice should NOT be saying about the subject, such as:

“I am getting older now. Aging is horrible. I wish my body was young again. Look at those wrinkles. Who could love a face that’s old? I hate it. Pretty soon, no one will want to be around me. When I was young, I could dance all night. Now I don’t have the energy. Why do people have to age? I wish I could be young forever.”

Then she goes on to discuss what we should be saying to ourselves:

“I love aging. My children are grown and now I’m free to do the things I put off doing. I’m glad I joined the gym. I don’t think I’ve ever been in such great shape. I’m going to learn all I can about keeping myself in the best of health. I have so much to look forward to. I learn and grow every day of my life. I wouldn’t want to go back one day. Why would I want to go back?”

Reading that, I realized that I needed to get rid of that number 70 that had become so set in my head. Instead, I started asking myself the question that I used to ask so often, something we all should probably ask ourselves whenever we think about aging: “How old would I say I am if I didn’t know?”.

Back then, when I asked myself this question, I could honestly say I felt 44. And for the rest of my 90 Day Super Quest, I thought to myself that, when I was done with this, I would be in the best physical and mental shape of my life as a 45-year-old! That outlook helped me push through the challenge and to this day, with some reminders here and there, I steer my mental chatter toward the positive and try to stay focused on the age I think I am, not just some number that has more to do with the calendar than what great things I have in my life.

Reset for Aging

I’ve been thinking a lot about this thing they call aging recently, especially since I am moving in on that big number 80. 

Last year my son gave me a book on my birthday called Successful Aging by Daniel J. Levitin that I’ve really enjoyed. Then the other day I came across two other aging articles. One was in the March issue of the AARP Bulletin titled, “The Answer to Age Related Weight Gain” and the other was titled “100 Ways to Live to 100” found on the website HuffPost, which I had read before. Combined, they really got me thinking.  

Since I have only 11 years before I hit 90 and, even worse, just 21 years until I come up on 100, I really studied those ideas and instructions that I thought would help me make the most of my life as well as those that would help me live the longest. It’s given me a lot of great things to focus on. 

I will never forget that French lady Jeanne Calmet who lived an active 122 years and 164 days, living on her own until 110. Or the Russian woman, Nanu Shaova, who lived to a record 127 years. These ladies prove that a long, meaningful life is possible. 

A new book, The Whole Body Reset by AARP, Stephen Perrine, and Heidi Skolnik, has a lot of great advice about how to preserve muscle at age 50 and above, such as…

• Eat at least 30 grams of protein at every meal
• Eat colorful fruits and vegetables
• Try strength training

That’s just a few of the great suggestions in this book that have to do with successful aging and living a better life. 

And here are just a few of the “100 Ways to Live to 100″ from that HuffPost article I came across again recently: 

1. Find a purpose for life

2. Walk a lot

3. Be happy

4. Do unto others 

5. Practice yoga

6. Be optimistic

7, Go meatless

8. Eat your fiber

9. Make healthy changes in your life starting today

10. Don’t dread getting older

There’s a lot of food for thought here. I’ll add to that list next week as well, but in the meantime, work with some of these suggestions. You can never start too early to improve your chances of a long, meaningful life. 

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