Road to Long-Term Happiness

I was looking through my past posts this week and came across one that mentions a great book, Authentic Happiness, by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D. and was reminded of how important it is to have goals that give us authentic happiness.

In his book, Dr. Seligman talks about what real authentic happiness is and how we can capture it and keep it. Finding and enjoying real happiness is not done through seeking and finding pleasure and the same goes for seeking happiness through just staying busy—it just doesn’t work. Great and authentic happiness is experienced from earned gratification. So how do we become gratified?

Much of our gratification comes from producing something of great value to others and/or ourselves. This gives us a great feeling of satisfaction. Dr. Seligman lists 8 common components of gratification we want to have in the things we pursue:

1. The task is challenging and requires skill.
2. We have to concentrate.
3. There are clear goals.
4. We get immediate feedback.
5. We have deep effortless involvement.
6. There is a sense of control.
7. Sense of self vanishes.
8. Time seems to stop.

Dr. Seligman goes on to talk about depression in today’s world and how widespread it is. It has increased by a huge amount in the last 40 years and the average age of depressed people is much younger today.

Depression is also unexpectedly high in wealthy and healthy countries. The author’s theory is that “an ethos that builds unwarranted self-esteem, espouses victimology, and encourages rampant individualism has contributed to that epidemic.” Another reason is our huge reliance on shortcuts to happiness… online entertainment, drugs, shopping, spectator sports, and high sugar food and drinks. These things are enjoyable in the moment but don’t give us any long-term satisfaction.

A major symptom of depression is self-absorption, which a lot of shortcuts to happiness can feed. Depressed people think about how they feel a great deal of the time. When they detect internal sadness, they ruminate about it, projecting it into the future, this in turn increases their sadness in their life and across all their activities.

What we all need to do more of is realize that there are no shortcuts to the kind of fulfilling gratification we all crave, and realize we need to focus more and more on our goals, taking on big tasks, and increasing our long-term production as well as giving up the constant self-worry and self-absorption.

You may have noticed that really happy people, for the most part, spend the least amount of time home alone, involved in these shortcuts to happiness. They tend to have a rich and fulfilling social life along with jobs, goals, or hobbies they are passionate about. When your life is built around social and productive activities, you get more of that long-term happiness, feeling gratified for days or weeks or even years to come.  

Surefire Goal Success

To have and use goals in our lives is so very, very important and I sure believe that it was when I set a goal years ago to make it to millionaire status, that this decision became the most critical resolution of my financial life.

Goal setting really is a kind of magic, one that really works. Of course, there are a couple of things that truly drive a person to reach their goals. I’ve written about this before but it’s so important in our lives and, besides, when I write about stuff like this, it pushes me to make sure I keep striving to do these things I’m telling you are so good for your life.

One of the critical things that give you a huge push to accomplish whatever goal you set is writing it down on paper or on your computer. You see, for me, when I write it down, especially on paper, and post it somewhere I can easily see it, I get to review it daily which is a really huge help.

In my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, I have a chapter, Chapter 7, entitled “The Surefire Way to Stick with Every Goal”. Now, let me tell you about this while I basically plagiarize my own writing. (Don’t tell my wife!)

In that chapter, I write about how to stick with your goals, including using B-RAM, which stands for Benefits, Reasons, and Motivations. This is a list of clearly defined reasons why you want to go after your chosen goal. Now, how does that work?

First of all, you have to think through what your big dream is. Second, you want to know for sure that that this big dream is what you really want out of life, and you can do that by writing down all the benefits, reasons, and motivations – your B-RAM. Third, write the goal down with a timeframe attached.

After you know what you want and why, and you have set your goal, you need to work out an action plan, breaking the goal into short and medium interim goals and action items. That list, especially when written down, pushes you to achieve what you have set as your goal. This little formula has worked for me with relationships, making tons of money, and even winning a gold medal in tennis at the Huntsman World Senior Games.

Most experts agree that if the benefits are powerful enough and if we have strong enough reasons, then our motivation will burn white hot inside of us, to the point that nothing in the world can stop us. So, in those moments that you may feel discouraged, take out your B-RAM lists and read them over and over again. This will re-motivate you and, again, turn on all your mental and physical juices and energy. The likelihood of you remaining down or wanting to quit will be much, much less. Believe me–I know it works!

So, I really hope that you will try this and maybe even teach it to others like your kids, your friends, and anyone that you truly want to help!

When You Need An Energy Boost

Life can be busy and draining, especially if you’ve been having a hard time lately or things haven’t been going your way. Even when things are good, it seems like we can all use more energy, especially as we get older. Whether it’s for work or play, family or friends, having that extra energy can make a big difference in how much we enjoy our lives.

You’re not stuck with that low energy though. There are easy things you can do to help boost your energy levels. Here’s a list of 12 proven ways to boost your energy:

1. Set exciting goals that will move you towards making your big dreams a reality. Be sure to include a timeframe and an exciting game plan to keep you motivated.
2. A daily to do list, one that you look at in the morning, gets you focused first thing. The feeling of accomplishment as you work through it adds extra energy to your day.
3. Eat more nutritious foods. Sugars, saturated fat, fried food and empty calorie foods can contribute to crashes in your energy level.
4. Drink green tea rather than coffee to overcome mid-day slumps. It’s still caffeinated but doesn’t have as much and that form of caffeine paired with the L-theanine in green tea improves mood and reduces stress and anxiety.
5. Get plenty of exposure to natural light. Just a short walk in the sunshine first thing in the day can improve energy and mood through the synthesis of vitamin D and the release of serotonin.
6. Ease your stress by simplifying your life and mainly, or exclusively, pursue your life’s priority items. Delegate the rest.
7. Heal yourself by being grateful and loving and letting go of all anger.
8. Drink plenty of water. Dehydration makes you feel fatigued.
9. Play hard and exercise to increase endorphins which boost energizing neurotransmitters like dopamine.
10. Get enough sleep.
11. A few minutes of yoga stretching will give you a morning boost and reduce aches and pains that can drain your energy.
12. Listening to your favorite music is good for your mood. It may be music with a heart pounding beat while others may find symphonic music inspiring and energizing.

There are probably other things that you do that you’ve found work to increase your energy levels. Pay attention to what gets you excited and energized and be sure to work that into your day when you are dragging. It helps to write up your own list and keep it close to remind you of your options when you need an energy boost.

You Are What You Think You Are

Too many of us stumble through life on one consistent low plane. We see ourselves as failures in the things that really matter.

“When it comes to high stakes, count me out,” we say. Or our self-talk says things like, “I can succeed at little things, but when the big time comes along, I’m a total failure. ” And amazingly we are right. We are what we think are.

We’re much like the fictional character, Bunker Bean. He had a lot of potential locked up inside him, but because he kept it locked so deep, he didn’t know about it. But then something happened to make Bunker believe in himself, despite his humble beginnings, and he goes on to make a fortune, to overcome his fears and weaknesses, and to become a giant of a leader.

When Bunker was very young, both his parents died, leaving him alone and friendless in a cold world. He couldn’t do anything right and his acquaintances made fun of him. He was afraid of almost everything–policemen, elevators, streets, social and business situations. He was afraid to make decisions and was afraid of the future. He was even afraid of himself. Bunker Bean’s life was a misery.

But things started to change the day Bunker moved into a cheap, rundown boarding house on the unhappy side of town.

There he met a man who claimed to be a spiritualist medium. This new friend told Bunker Bean that just as we cast off our old shoes, and clothes, so we cast off our bodies when we die, in fact we are reincarnated as a new person. Then he tricked Bunker Bean into believing that, in his former life, he was the great Napoleon Bonaparte. Thinking this really lifted Bunker Bean’s life to great new heights, helping Bunker to believe in himself enough to change many of his attitudes, habits, and behavior.

But then, later on, he discovered that the spiritualist was revealed to be a
fraud, a man who lied to others to obtain their money. Bunker Bean was crushed by this revelation. But, having already turned his life around, he eventually realized that it didn’t matter who he’d been in a former life. What mattered was what he had allowed himself to become in his present life.

It’s a great example of how what we believe can affect the way we live and how we deal with our world and our lives. In other words, you can’t just hope that things will change, that you can be the kind of person you want
to be, you just need to believe it. Change that self-talk that isn’t saying what you know you really can be and what you can do, and only tell yourself who you are, who you really can be, to lift your life to great new heights.

Looking Back for Gratitude

Life can be so interesting, sometimes a bit crazy, and yet, still somewhat logical. However, when we look back at something that happened to us, our views can change over that time into something quite different, something that doesn’t seem all that logical but really isn’t all that crazy either.

I sure learned that recently. A week ago, I was walking in front of my house and, suddenly, I slipped on a wet spot and went down very hard. It was so hard and painful that l couldn’t stand up. Oh, the pain!

I kept trying to stand but just couldn’t get up. Fortunately,  I had my cell phone which I struggled to get out of my pocket. That caused even more pain. Finally, I got the phone out and called my wife who was in the house. She came out immediately and then struggled to help me get up. With her help I managed, but it wasn’t easy.  We went into the house, but the pain wasn’t going away, so Kimberly rushed me to the hospital where x-rays showed that I had cracked 4 or 5 ribs. They sent me home with pain pills but for more than a week now, the pain has interfered with so many things in my life.

One big lesson I was reminded of, again, since I’ve had similar upsetting events happen in recent years, is that we all should take time to appreciate the many things we have to be grateful for in our lives. I have many things to be grateful for, but I think we all could be helped by making a list of the good, and the great, things in our life. Do this then add to the list over time as you realize all the many things that you take for granted and don’t usually think about or feel thankful for until we lose them.

Life is filled with bad stuff that happens that we don’t see coming. It’s too bad we usually don’t take time to think of all the many good things we have in our life until after bad stuff happens. And that’s what I meant by looking back and seeing things that aren’t all that logical or crazy. How do we go about not realizing all the good things we have a lot more often?

So, I made a decision that I would think about all the good things in my life and, yes, I’m going to make a list of them and add to that the many wonderful experiences I’ve had in my life. And then I’m going to review that list from time to time so I remember them and can be more grateful more often.

My challenge to you, my readers, is to think about doing the same thing—list of all the good things in your life and then review that list from time to time, adding all the great things that you experience in your life, and be grateful. Then, next time you are hit with a bad event or a negative twist in your life, go back and re-read that list of all the good things you have. I’m preaching this to you but as I do that, I’m also preaching it to myself. Now let’s go make our lists.

Unique Humans

I’m sure that you would agree that no two lives are exactly the same. The same is true with personalities, physical fitness, intelligence, disabilities, routines, etc. I have always been amazed at how all humans are so unique. Sure, many of us are very similar to other people but we are never exactly the same. I’m pretty certain if you met someone that looked exactly like you and their thinking seemed to match yours as well, you’d be immensely surprised, maybe even shocked. I’ve lived in and visited countless cities in 94 countries and, of course, in my travels I met thousands of people, but I’ve never met another person just like me!

When it comes to travel, I have to say I owe my father big time for showing me how wonderful it can be. My father and I were very different, but he introduced me to travel and all the benefits it brings to a person and pretty much their entire lives. So even though I think my father and I are different in most ways, we both certainly learned to love travel and his sharing this passion turned out to be life changing for me, in very good ways.

When I was only 15, he took the whole family to Ankara, Turkey. It was because of a job change but it was still a pretty big deal to do that. And, wow, did that change my whole life and the way I see the world, for the better. Of course, it gave me the travel bug and it introduced me to all these different cultures, which I still find very exciting. That excitement pushed me to travel, and not just occasionally. So now, not only have I visited 94 different countries, that travel bug even motivated me to plan my honeymoon as a travel-around-the-world-in-28-days trip! That’s a trip I will never forget!

I am of the belief that if all humans traveled a lot and really experienced other cultures, it would make the world safer and so much better inasmuch as we would see and understand other people’s beliefs, practices, and cultural differences, allowing us to better appreciate and accept them. I do think that today’s technology is very helpful as we can get a better sense of how people live through TV, news, and online sharing.

Sure, the news, videos and other information also show the problems and highlight the bad in people but for the most part we can see how people in so many different countries are getting along, working to make a living, taking time off to have a good time, traveling, and going to exciting events, just like we do.

I think that all this information we have access to shows us the differences in our cultures, but we also get to learn how we are alike, and that opens our minds and our views. And seeing how we are alike can help us accept and appreciate the differences between all of us unique humans.

How Muscles Help Your Weight

There is one thing that almost all people pay some attention to which is very, very important for our lives. In fact, if you pay a lot of attention to this one very important thing, you most likely will live much longer. And what is that one thing that can help give us a longer and better life? It’s a healthy weight.

Watching our weight and keeping it at the right levels usually makes our lives much more enjoyable, healthier, and longer. Thankfully, there are a lot of things we can do that can keep our weight where it should be and, wow, that can really help make for a great life.

Most kids don’t pay a lot of attention to their weight and eat everything they want. When we get a little bit older—like in our teens—we pay more attention to how we look and try to eat the right foods in order to become more active in sports or to look better. But a healthy weight is good for us, no matter our age.  

I was quite surprised when I discovered that your muscles can actually help you lose weight or keep you at a good weight. Most of us don’t realize that doing things like working out, weightlifting, and even just plain old walking can help with our weight management, not just because these burn calories but because they build muscle.

As we age, it is very common for people to stop working on their muscles all that much, at least until they come to the understanding that building or maintaining a lot of muscle helps their health big time. One of the challenges we have as we age is a loss of muscle which can contribute to gaining more fat. We lose muscle because, as we get older, our muscles wear down and that along with often being less active in our 50s, 60s, and 70s means our muscles are getting smaller and with that comes weight gain as our calories go to fat instead of being burned by muscle.

One of the best types of food we can consume to help us build muscle, get rid of a lot of fat, and control our weight is protein. There are a lot of studies that have shown that eating plenty of protein—like 25 to 30 grams first thing in the morning and then the same amount for lunch and dinner—along with lots of moving and lifting weights–will help you keep and build your muscle and burn fat. Some great, healthy foods that are high in protein include fish, chicken, lean beef, eggs, soy, beans, lentils, pumpkin seeds, nuts, cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, cheese, and milk.

When it comes to exercise, you don’t have to run to burn fat or build muscle. A lot of walking and staying very active helps build muscle which helps you burn more fat. I usually walk 10,000 to 12,000 steps a day and it’s done wonders for my health. It makes me feel so good in addition to helping me maintain my ideal weight while sending more blood to the brain which helps our memory and thinking.

So, let’s all of us humans work out regularly and eat more protein so we can look forward to a longer life and a healthier body.

Re-Start Your L-Factor

Last week I started talking about the many important points in my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. One of the really big ones is in the chapter entitled, “Clone Yourself with the Amazing L-Factor.” So, what is that L-Factor? It’s all about making lists!

Show me any super-successful person who has accomplished big things and I’ll show you an accomplished list maker. There is something magical that happens in our brains when we reduce our desires to a list. When we write those items down, it’s like our brains push us to act on them and won’t let us go until we do it.

Of the many specific techniques that have huge value in helping catapult a person to the top of whatever they’re going after, I have to say that list making is at, or near, the top of that list. It’s just flat-out amazing how much more enhanced your life will become and how many more dreams and goals you will be able to achieve by using lists. In addition, daily task lists or to-do lists are the key to keeping track of accomplishing all the bite-size components into which you’ve broken down your big picture goals.

For instance, a number of years back, I talked about how important that first hour of your day can be as the book, The Miracle Morning, talks about. Getting tons done in that first hour can be helped by using that L-factor as well. Just make a list, before you go to bed, of the items and tasks that you want to address in those first 60 minutes. You can break it down to six 10 minute items or four 15 minutes tasks, but no matter how you do it, making a list can, and will, greatly increase the odds of you following through on what you want to accomplish.

So, if you have gotten away from that ole list making habit, it’s probably a good time to re-start making lists in order to drive yourself to get lots of stuff done. And I don’t mean just for that first hour of the day, but make lists for everything, especially your big, huge goals, and read over your list often, checking off those items that you’ve accomplished to give you a boost by seeing how much you’ve accomplished. Then you can give yourself a nice pat on the back for getting the job done!

Life’s Lessons in Failing

17 years ago, I wrote a letter for an advertisement that introduced a book I wrote. I then sent the letter to many friends and followers. I started with this:

Dear friend and reader,

This is my new book on the subject of GOAL SETTING–which I strongly believe I owe my prosperous lifestyle to!

And I still believe that! The book is also full of great stuff that is as useful today as it was then. The book I’m talking about is called How to Ignite Your Passion for Living and I still sell it here.

One of the highlights of the book is the stuff about trying, even if you might fail. It doesn’t take much thought to realize that life is really is too short to not try so we can live our lives with more passion!

Don’t be like those who look back on their lives and realize that they missed out on so many opportunities. The poet Alfred Tennyson said, “It’s better to have tried and failed than to live life wondering what would’ve happened if I had tried.” I do believe most of us would be happier to try and fail than never try at all.

Why is that? I think it’s basic human nature to want those long-lasting good feelings we get from success and, even if we fall short of our objective, knowing we tried. And yes, I certainly had my share of failures and tragedies. But I wouldn’t have it any other way because there is so much to learn from failure if we are paying very close attention. We have the opportunity to realize why we failed and what to do in the future so it won’t happen again that way.

Setting big goals in things that you are interested in is one of the biggest contributors to igniting your passion, even if you fail. I hope you see this and go for those big goals and other things that you want to do with your life. And, as I always preach, be sure to write your goals down. By doing that you are much more likely to achieve those goals. It really works!

Remember, if you fail, don’t give up. Keep trying and study what happened and why so you can keep it from happening again. That’s my challenge to you and to myself. I am, right now as I write this, recovering from heart surgery and doing great but even with this, I will still set some big goals to create more passion in my life!

My Amazing Heart Helper

Life can be so unreal sometimes. For the most part, life is predictable, but sometimes we are hit with big surprises, good and bad.

For example, I just got hit with a big surprise and not a good one. After having my heart checked recently, the doc called and told me that I needed a procedure, and it should be done soon.

What was it that needed to be fixed? Well, the scan they did showed that my heart was not beating correctly. So, they told me that I had to go to the hospital and have an ICD. Of course, I asked what an ICD was. ICD stands for Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator. It’s like a pacemaker but it does more than that. I was in shock at this. I have been in very good health for a long time and had no idea there was this kind of problem going on inside me.

So, what did I do? I went ahead and scheduled an appointment at the hospital and a few days later the doctors did their job, and a great job they did. I went home from the hospital the very next day and have felt fine ever since then. Now I knew why I had been so out of breath when climbing a bunch of stairs.

What they had done was very interesting. They cut a small hole in my chest then placed a very, very small computer device in my heart, complete with a few wires put down into some of my veins. This device monitors the heart to keep it beating with a regular rhythm and its one small battery lasts about 7 years before it needs to get replaced. I was so impressed that all that could be implanted and set up so fast. And the recovery was very easy.

So, after all that was done, I talked to my kids and grandkids and told them that now I have a better computer than they do, so they’d better watch out for me because I might be as smart or smarter than them. They got a big laugh out of that.

Isn’t it absolutely amazing what humans can figure out? So many inventions are absolutely incredible, and many of them have changed our world and our lives to make things better and to help us to live longer and in good health.

I now want to wish all my readers “good health” and encourage all of you to check into and do research on the latest discoveries that help us live longer and stronger and healthier than ever.

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