Being the Right Kind of Person

I’ve been looking back at some past posts, and one mentioned a book that has been super helpful since I first read it in 2005. The book is Goals! How to Get Everything You Want Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible. I’ve always felt it a privilege to call its author, Brian Tracy, a friend. He’s not only a warm, friendly person, but he’s also smart and wise. His advice in Goals! is fantastic. I have reaped huge rewards from following his wonderful and sage advice.

When I read, I often make notes on the ideas and quotes that I find particularly wise. In the front blank pages of Brian’s books, I scribbled page number references so I could go back to my favorite parts and lines such as, ‘Character is the ability to follow through on a resolution after the enthusiasm with which the resolution was made has passed.” That’s on page 263.

But what Brian wrote about the concept that gives a person a huge advantage to be successful that really influenced me was written under the subhead, “Get Around the Right People”. In that chapter, Brian says that you should, “make it a point to associate with the kind of people that you like, admire, respect, and want to be like sometime in the future. Associate with the kind of people that you look up to and would be proud to introduce to your friends and associates. The choice of a positive, goal-oriented reference group can do more to supercharge your career than any other factor.”

When I set my goal to be a millionaire, one of the first things I did was to set in motion a plan to meet and get to know wealthy people. On that list were two billionaires who didn’t know me from Adam but who, with persistence and a plan, I was able to meet and get to know as well as get advice and financial formulas from. The two billionaires were Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald’s, and Curt Carlson, founder of the TGIF restaurant chain.

However, my very first adviser, who also became a good friend, was a multimillionaire by the name of Larry Rosenberg. He not only referred me to the best books to read to lead a person to huge wealth, he also spent lots of time with me over lunches. He gave me great advice, hints, and direction concerning where to look for the best properties and what to do to fix them up to greatly increase value and then sell them. Later I was fortunate enough to connect with businessman Paul J. Meyer, who built a half-billion-dollar fortune starting from nothing. He shared many ideas and formulas for achieving success at a quick pace with me.

Besides the notes I made in the front of Brian’s book, I also found this note that his words inspired me to write in one of the margins: “In order for me to be able to associate with the right kind of people, I must work hard on myself to be that likable and right kind of person.” It’s a thought that has stayed with me ever since I wrote it.

When I think about it, I know that for me, and most people, we would all much rather do business with people who we really like, and we tend to shun people that are difficult or unfriendly towards us. I don’t even enjoy playing tennis with people I don’t like, even if I beat them. So, the bottom line here is that in order to meet the right kind of people you must work on yourself to become that right kind of person as well. Once you have, then you can surround yourself with the kind of people that will help you become the kind of successful person you want to be.

The Beauty of Being a True Believer

The beauty of being a true believer is that no one can ever prove to the believer that they are wrong.  True believers are totally convinced that they are right. I’m talking about a person who totally believes in a specific dream, goal, religion, or even myth. Whether it’s about life or death or about the person who believes that their own particular brand of religion is the “one true” religion, then for them, it is an absolute truth. 

How about the person who believes he is bound to fail at whatever he tries? Or the person who truly feels and believes she is the luckiest person in the world? If they really believe it, then it’s true for them and no one can prove their belief to be wrong, at least to them. And they live their life based on their version of the truth.

Belief is a matter of faith and confidence. It’s basically an opinion that some particular thing exists or is true, no hard facts required. This all makes it very difficult to argue with.

If you stop and think about it, maybe you would agree that whether the belief seems to be true or not, it won’t matter in the end. The only thing that matters is that the person really does believe that their view the world is true.

At this point, being such a strong believer doesn’t sound like such a great thing. But I’d like to show you how beautiful and very healthy it can be to be a true believer, because there really is a positive side to this subject.

So, here is the simple truth. Belief is one of the most powerful things a human being can have. Do you think that some of the young Taliban or al-Qaeda followers believe strongly in their cause? Do they really believe that if they strap on a bomb and blow themselves up along with some infidels they will go straight to paradise and be blessed with 72 virgins?

We know they must believe in this as we see the results of their actions in the news. But do the end results of such terrible acts bring these rewards they so fully believe in? Most of us, I’d guess, would say that, at a minimum, it’s questionable, but, more likely, the majority opinion would be that these beliefs are ridiculous. But what we think is the ultimate truth doesn’t really matter if that young man or woman Truly believes in that cause and their actions’ ultimate reward.

A belief think cannot be changed is so super powerful. So, why can’t we develop that kind of intensity and attach it to a wonderful and worthwhile objective that uplifts our lives and helps people around us, making the world a better place?

That’s the thing. I think we can. Extremists and zealots of all kinds believe what they do with such intensity because they chose to and because the people around them tell them it’s true and support their belief. It’s not impossible for us to do the same thing when it comes to our dreams, goals, and faith in ourselves.

We just need to set our doubts aside, surround ourselves with people who believe in us, and focus on positive thoughts. Like I said, belief is one of the most powerful things in the world and there’s no reason why any one of us can’t use it to make our lives and our world better.

You Are What You Think You Are

Too many of us stumble through life on one consistent low plane. We see ourselves as failures in the things that really matter.

“When it comes to high stakes, count me out,” we say. Or our self-talk says things like, “I can succeed at little things, but when the big time comes along, I’m a total failure. ” And amazingly we are right. We are what we think are.

We’re much like the fictional character, Bunker Bean. He had a lot of potential locked up inside him, but because he kept it locked so deep, he didn’t know about it. But then something happened to make Bunker believe in himself, despite his humble beginnings, and he goes on to make a fortune, to overcome his fears and weaknesses, and to become a giant of a leader.

When Bunker was very young, both his parents died, leaving him alone and friendless in a cold world. He couldn’t do anything right and his acquaintances made fun of him. He was afraid of almost everything–policemen, elevators, streets, social and business situations. He was afraid to make decisions and was afraid of the future. He was even afraid of himself. Bunker Bean’s life was a misery.

But things started to change the day Bunker moved into a cheap, rundown boarding house on the unhappy side of town.

There he met a man who claimed to be a spiritualist medium. This new friend told Bunker Bean that just as we cast off our old shoes, and clothes, so we cast off our bodies when we die, in fact we are reincarnated as a new person. Then he tricked Bunker Bean into believing that, in his former life, he was the great Napoleon Bonaparte. Thinking this really lifted Bunker Bean’s life to great new heights, helping Bunker to believe in himself enough to change many of his attitudes, habits, and behavior.

But then, later on, he discovered that the spiritualist was revealed to be a
fraud, a man who lied to others to obtain their money. Bunker Bean was crushed by this revelation. But, having already turned his life around, he eventually realized that it didn’t matter who he’d been in a former life. What mattered was what he had allowed himself to become in his present life.

It’s a great example of how what we believe can affect the way we live and how we deal with our world and our lives. In other words, you can’t just hope that things will change, that you can be the kind of person you want
to be, you just need to believe it. Change that self-talk that isn’t saying what you know you really can be and what you can do, and only tell yourself who you are, who you really can be, to lift your life to great new heights.

The Brain’s Influence on Age

Recently, my son Marcus gave me a little pamphlet entitled “1944 Remember When: A Nostalgic Look Back in Time”. It’s a great look at 1944 which was the year I was born. I was blown away as I turned the pages and especially when I read about prices in 1944.

A new house was a little bit under $3500, with the average income at only $2378 for an entire year. A new car was only $975, a gallon of gas was just 15 cents, and the average rent came in at about $50 a month. Wow, have things changed since then!

The years since 1944, for me, seemed to have past so fast, and now I’m less than 2 years from the big 80! But the good news is I don’t feel a day older than when I turned 40 or maybe even 30. Yes, I am very careful about what I eat, and I work out my body, including having a daily goal of 20,000 steps. There is a lot of research showing that people who keep moving as they age live much longer and are healthier than the average person.

The older I get, the more I see how our thinking can also make a big difference in our lives. If you think you are going to live a long and healthy life, your body will do everything it can to fulfill those beliefs. Those brain thoughts really do influence your body.  

I’ve quoted before from the book Disrupt Aging: A Bold New Path to Living Your Best Life at Every Age by Jo Ann Jenkins, but much of what she writes needs to be repeated and given a lot of thought and action. Such things include focusing on health and wealth, developing a sense purpose, going from mindless activity to mindful living, and feeling good about where you are age wise.

For instance, don’t ever put yourself down by saying, “Oh, I’m an old man or woman.” Instead, say things like, “Yes, I’m almost 80, but I feel young, like I’m 30.” Also, try new things, take chances, don’t live in fear of aging, and set goals aimed at living past 100 or more.

We all need to realize that our daily choices when it comes to our health, mental fitness, and outlook are very important. Yes, a lot of aging advice focuses on good diet and exercise habits, which are very important, but never forget that your brain and what you think about aging also has a great influence on your health as well as how long, and how well, you live.

Train Your Brain

I’ve been talking about the power of the brain a lot recently because it’s been a super helpful thing for me to review and to share with others. Your brain is a very powerful organ, operating beyond your conscious thoughts. You can use its vast abilities to feel better, physically, mentally, and emotionally, as well as live better in so many ways, but it takes some work and some practice.

In the book, Super Brain, authors Deepak Chopra and Rudolph Tanzi write that you need to train your brain to do what you want it to do. “The minute you say, ‘My memory isn’t what it used to be’ or ‘I can’t remember a thing today,’ you are programing your brain to live up to your diminished expectations.”

The authors go on to explain how this works and hint at what you can do about it. “The first rule of super brain is that your brain is always eavesdropping on your thoughts. As it listens, it learns. If you teach it about limitation, your brain will become limited. But what if you do the opposite? What if you teach your brain to be unlimited?”

In other words, we all need to be very aware of our thoughts. We need to monitor them and then move them to the where we want them to go so our brains operate on healthy and positive ideas.

When I read this years ago, I tried saying to myself “I’m starting to feel younger and healthier by the day—frickin’ A!” and, wouldn’t you know, I actually began to believe it and feel it! My brain was listening in on these thoughts and operating based on them.

Our wise authors also make note that, “You are not your brain.” When you are acting as the leader of your brain, you can actively reprogram your own neurochemistry and even genetic activity, no longer having to be a slave to mood swings, pain, and negative thoughts.

So, the takeaway here is, be aware of your thoughts and direct them the way you want. Set aside the negative thoughts and defeatist self-talk. Think positively and encourage yourself and your brain will listen.

By the way, when I wrote about what Chopra and Tanzi said in this book about the placebo effect two weeks ago, a reader, Cora , wrote that “the same topic is very well described in a book by Randy Baker —net-boss.org/the-power-of-the-placebo-effect-by-randy-baker”. I haven’t read it yet, but it just goes to show how powerful and well-accepted these great concepts on the power of the brain really are.  

Controlling the Fear

Last week I wrote a bit about my health problems and going to the hospital over an issue with my cardiovascular system. So this past week, I went through the recommended procedures and was relieved to hear that the doctors didn’t think I needed a stent. Great. I relaxed a bit after that.

But then, a few days later, I was asked to come back to the hospital. The doctors had completed a review and had become concerned. They now wanted to perform a procedure called an angiogram because they had found that the lower chamber of my heart had too many beats for the upper chamber, which, of course, is a problem.

Well, talk about getting nervous, worried, and scared! Man, oh man, my anxiety rose to a new high. I was a wreck.

What pushed my anxiety to a new high level was that I mistakenly thought an angiogram was the same as an MRI. All I could think about was the MRI I went in for about a year earlier. When they put me in the little, tight tube of the MRI machine, I freaked. I told the doctor and assistants that I was getting out as I was claustrophobic. Even though they were very insistent that I should stay in the machine until they were finished, I crawled out anyway.

So here I was last week, facing an angiogram but thinking it was going to be an MRI. My anxiety was through the roof. My own brain was beating me up.

I really do believe that our brains have so much power. It’s amazing. But internal thinking can be a great asset or a huge liability. Our brains can raise our spirits and lift us to a higher and happier place, or it can wreak havoc on our bodies, our souls, and our lives. 

So, I did a lot of thinking about my brain and how my thoughts were hurting me with all this worry. That’s when I realized that if I redirected my brain and thoughts, I could, most likely, get rid of my super high anxiety.

We human beings really do have the power to direct our brains down positive paths, even though it may take some time and a lot of mental work and discipline to do it. But we CAN do it! I did decide to get to work on that, attempting to remove my high anxiety. Soon enough, I found that my work on it was working!

So, I went to the hospital and got my angiogram a few days ago. Wow. My positive thinking really helped me stay calm, plus the angiogram was nothing close to having an MRI. It also turned out to be a great lesson about anxiety, fear and how we can control so much with our brains.

Yes, controlling our emotions takes time and effort, but it is so well worth it. Our brains really can lift our contentment level and make our lives so full of happiness. So, let’s all keep working on getting our brains to totally work for us and not against us!

When the Brain Let’s Go

I continue to read and reread David Hawkins great book called Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender. I’m even more into it now, especially with all the evidence he gives on the huge power of the brain and how it can do so much to aid the body, including its power to cure diseases. It’s all done by giving the brain the right signals. And, of course, if you give it the wrong signals, it can cause lots of problems.

The brain, if used right, really does have the power to eliminate disease. It’s all about your thoughts and feelings. Dr. Hawkins tells of how his brain eliminated and stopped more than a dozen different physical problems that he had. He did it by using what he calls the “letting go” technique. “Once the mind knows the way to alleviate its inner pressure, like Pandora’s box, it begins to let all the garbage up, and up it came in profusion!”

Hawkins healed himself from more than a dozen physical and medical problems by using his brain. He did this with migraine headaches, gastritis, hyperacidity, and intermittent pylorospasm. He also cured what he calls “middle age syndrome”. He describes this as, “Coldness in hands and feet, loss of energy and libido, and depression.” He adds that, “The mounting pressure of suppressed emotion in all areas of life obviously contributed to the multiplicity of illnesses.”

To get the brain working on healing the body, one of the first things Hawkins says you should do is “stop giving a physical disorder a name; do not label it.” Instead, ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” For some reason this does make a difference and for the good.

I love David’s summary of this thing called “letting go”. He does so by describing the process he went through: “Now, like it or not, it had to be acknowledged that everyone is a thinking/feeling organism. It would not work to keep denying reality. Before long, it was okay to have feelings. With the letting go technique, the only way out was to acknowledge and relinquish the feelings. This became easier as the physical condition started to improve … Within days of using the technique, the physical condition at the lower end of the gastrointestinal tract promptly healed itself and, in fact, the surgery was cancelled.”

Then he wraps it up, saying, “How wonderful to be free and to experience the power of mind! It was obvious … that we are only subject to those things that we hold in mind. It is not necessary to be a slave or victim in the world.”

The Benefits List

In these tough times of COVID it’s easy to become very negative about so many things. In the book Letting Go, David R. Hawkins talks about choosing the positive thoughts to push out negative thoughts. He says, “There is an inner reality that we can term our ‘inner greatness’ or ‘higher self’. It has much more power than the inner negativity. In return for letting go of the payoffs that we were getting from the negative position, we are now surprised by the positive payoff. We are subject only to what we hold in mind…The body will respond to what we believe.”

Years ago, I came up with a simple trick that keeps my mind on a positive track. I know how easy it is to let goals slip away from me so I take time to write down, not only the goal, but all of the benefits that sticking with and achieving my objective will bring me. And then when I think of more benefits, I add those to my benefit list. I called this B-RAM, which is short for Benefits, Rewards and Motivation. I also call it my “Big Brain Booster”.

I would strongly suggest that you try it out. Take time to write down all the benefits that sticking with your goals will give you. We certainly have enough time in these COVID days to think these through and come up with lots of benefits we’ll get from reaching our goals.

Now, we may not be able to get out and about to pursue all our goals, at least right now. But given time, this pandemic will be over and we can be so very ready to go after our preset goals and find ourselves glued to them because we can see all of the benefits as we review our list.

Here’s how I came up with this B-RAM concept. Years ago, I had been reading a great book called Beyond the 120-Year Diet by Dr. Roy Walford, a leading expert on longevity. As I read the book and saw how difficult some of the calorie restrictions were on the diet he recommended, I began writing down the benefits that would help me stick with this tough calorie restricted diet. I needed extra motivation so my list made it much easier to stick with the diet. After that, any time I got discouraged, got weak, or got diverted on this diet, I looked at my list and it remotivated me and reminded me of why I set the goal in the first place.

It can be easy to forget why you set certain goals but when you go back to your list of benefits, it’s easy to remember why and it keeps you on track to achieve your goals. And believe me, it’s not easy to stay on a very restricted calorie diet as you probably can understand, especially if you’ve ever been down that road.

As I’m sure you know, if you have followed my posts or read my books, writing down your goals and objectives, putting a timeline on those goals, and revisiting what you wrote increases the chance of you reaching them. It doesn’t matter whether your goals are health or wealth. It works for those goals and many more.

So, now, in these COVID times, let’s all spend more time making benefit lists for our goals. And don’t forget to put your list of goals and benefits in a very convenient place so you can visit them often and easily!

Missing the Small Things

So, this past week, I got a little bit of a taste of what it might be like to be in prison. Now, this is only a 10 day sentence and I got to share my “cell” with my wife Kimberly, so it wasn’t all that bad. It did, however, give me a very small taste of what it would feel like to be locked up.

Okay, I know that sounds dramatic. It really wasn’t all that terrible. But what was this all about? Well, there’s some new (for me) rules in place if you travel to Hawaii right now thanks to COVID. When you arrive from outside the islands, you have to spend 10 days in quarantine. Luckily, you can at least spend those 10 days in your house or condo.

The hard part is, for those 10 days you cannot leave your property. The penalty, if you do leave your place and get caught, is a $5,000 dollar fine plus one year in jail. Ouch! That seems severe but, then again, so is COVID-19.

We humans really don’t totally appreciate all that we have and how we live our lives but can’t do until it’s taken away. On the other hand, this time locked up has given my wife and I lots of time to think, read, and even doing a little bit of writing. Plus, we now have tons of time to talk to each other. Still, after 8 days of this, I am going a bit stir crazy.

You would think, with tons of time on my hands, that I could do lots of planning. I do keep thinking about that and yet, to be quite honest, I have not done much planning at all. We humans get so used to our schedules and habits that when they get disrupted, it can make your mind go in all kinds of different directions. It sure has done that for me.

It’s one more thing that you don’t realize you depend on until it’s not there. It’s crazy that now, with all this time on my hands, time I might have really wished for when I was super busy, I just really want my old schedule and routine back.

It is the small things or the everyday things that you start to really miss when you can’t have them anymore. I guess I’ll be ok but I do really look forward to next week. At least, I imagine, I will really appreciate my routine and the many other small things I took for granted every day. A new appreciation for the old and ordinary things may be one of the real silver linings of this time in lock down.

Get Past the Depression

The news this week, and through much of this past year, has been terribly sad and is sometimes almost too hard to process. There is been a lot of news about depression and how much more of it there is right now. It’s understandable. So, I thought I’d share my thoughts on the subject with thoughts from past posts. Because although depression may be hard to avoid in times like these, it can be minimized and only fleeting if you are vigilant.

First of all, we need to deal with our disappointment and the restrictions this pandemic has put on our lives. Our advanced technologies have led us to habitually expect that we can access our wishes immediately. Super-fast internet, instant downloads, and multi-functional cell phones give us the ability to have some level of access to whatever or whomever we want whenever we want. But life, in general, doesn’t work that way. As a result, we are experiencing tremendous frustration and impatience with a world that is not changing quickly and fulfilling our needs and wishes immediately. This can ultimately lead to depression or anger.

In my book How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, I touch upon some of the depressive episodes I have been through and some of the ways I have dealt with them. I also think Eckhart Tolle, in his book, The Power of Now, has hit upon the true source and the most effective ideas to combat depression as well as other mood disorders.

The first few ideas on his list are some of the most important, at least in my experience. They deal with becoming a watcher of one’s thoughts and redirecting the mind when we start to buy into the idea of being a depressed person:

• Learn to recognize how your mind labels thoughts and sits in judgment so you know what ideas lie at the source of your pain.
• Accept whatever the present moment contains as if you had chosen it.
• The pain or depression wants you to unconsciously identify with it, allowing it to survive in your mind. If you are not a careful watcher of your thoughts then you may come to believe that you are a depressed person and then this becomes your identity.

Letting your mind create this depression identity will make it very difficult to get past the dark feelings and the pain because you will then believe this is who you are. But if you start with these first few ideas of Tolle’s, recognizing how your mind is working and seeing the present moment as something under your control, you can avoid the mindset that makes you think of yourself as a depressed person.

These ideas are true for any issues of mood. I choose to talk about them in terms of depression because that has been a difficult battle of mine. However, if you are dealing with anger, guilt, low self-esteem, fear, etc. watching your thoughts and taking control can help you with all types of painful moods and attitudes.

So, if you are depressed, don’t just live with it. Find its source, accept that it exists, and then aim to let it go. Give yourself goals and make plans you can look forward to. Eat healthy and whole foods as refined and sugary foods have been shown to feed depression. Get out and move and boost that serotonin and dopamine in your brain.

You may also want to turn off the TV, stop reading those dramatic headlines, and unsubscribe from all those pessimistic reports. Instead, read up on all the great success stories you can find on-line and in responsible and inspiring periodicals. You can, literally, change your mood by changing your view of the world as well as your mindset.

 

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