The Beauty of Being a True Believer

The beauty of being a true believer is that no one can ever prove to the believer that they are wrong.  True believers are totally convinced that they are right. I’m talking about a person who totally believes in a specific dream, goal, religion, or even myth. Whether it’s about life or death or about the person who believes that their own particular brand of religion is the “one true” religion, then for them, it is an absolute truth. 

How about the person who believes he is bound to fail at whatever he tries? Or the person who truly feels and believes she is the luckiest person in the world? If they really believe it, then it’s true for them and no one can prove their belief to be wrong, at least to them. And they live their life based on their version of the truth.

Belief is a matter of faith and confidence. It’s basically an opinion that some particular thing exists or is true, no hard facts required. This all makes it very difficult to argue with.

If you stop and think about it, maybe you would agree that whether the belief seems to be true or not, it won’t matter in the end. The only thing that matters is that the person really does believe that their view the world is true.

At this point, being such a strong believer doesn’t sound like such a great thing. But I’d like to show you how beautiful and very healthy it can be to be a true believer, because there really is a positive side to this subject.

So, here is the simple truth. Belief is one of the most powerful things a human being can have. Do you think that some of the young Taliban or al-Qaeda followers believe strongly in their cause? Do they really believe that if they strap on a bomb and blow themselves up along with some infidels they will go straight to paradise and be blessed with 72 virgins?

We know they must believe in this as we see the results of their actions in the news. But do the end results of such terrible acts bring these rewards they so fully believe in? Most of us, I’d guess, would say that, at a minimum, it’s questionable, but, more likely, the majority opinion would be that these beliefs are ridiculous. But what we think is the ultimate truth doesn’t really matter if that young man or woman Truly believes in that cause and their actions’ ultimate reward.

A belief think cannot be changed is so super powerful. So, why can’t we develop that kind of intensity and attach it to a wonderful and worthwhile objective that uplifts our lives and helps people around us, making the world a better place?

That’s the thing. I think we can. Extremists and zealots of all kinds believe what they do with such intensity because they chose to and because the people around them tell them it’s true and support their belief. It’s not impossible for us to do the same thing when it comes to our dreams, goals, and faith in ourselves.

We just need to set our doubts aside, surround ourselves with people who believe in us, and focus on positive thoughts. Like I said, belief is one of the most powerful things in the world and there’s no reason why any one of us can’t use it to make our lives and our world better.

You Are What You Think You Are

Too many of us stumble through life on one consistent low plane. We see ourselves as failures in the things that really matter.

“When it comes to high stakes, count me out,” we say. Or our self-talk says things like, “I can succeed at little things, but when the big time comes along, I’m a total failure. ” And amazingly we are right. We are what we think are.

We’re much like the fictional character, Bunker Bean. He had a lot of potential locked up inside him, but because he kept it locked so deep, he didn’t know about it. But then something happened to make Bunker believe in himself, despite his humble beginnings, and he goes on to make a fortune, to overcome his fears and weaknesses, and to become a giant of a leader.

When Bunker was very young, both his parents died, leaving him alone and friendless in a cold world. He couldn’t do anything right and his acquaintances made fun of him. He was afraid of almost everything–policemen, elevators, streets, social and business situations. He was afraid to make decisions and was afraid of the future. He was even afraid of himself. Bunker Bean’s life was a misery.

But things started to change the day Bunker moved into a cheap, rundown boarding house on the unhappy side of town.

There he met a man who claimed to be a spiritualist medium. This new friend told Bunker Bean that just as we cast off our old shoes, and clothes, so we cast off our bodies when we die, in fact we are reincarnated as a new person. Then he tricked Bunker Bean into believing that, in his former life, he was the great Napoleon Bonaparte. Thinking this really lifted Bunker Bean’s life to great new heights, helping Bunker to believe in himself enough to change many of his attitudes, habits, and behavior.

But then, later on, he discovered that the spiritualist was revealed to be a
fraud, a man who lied to others to obtain their money. Bunker Bean was crushed by this revelation. But, having already turned his life around, he eventually realized that it didn’t matter who he’d been in a former life. What mattered was what he had allowed himself to become in his present life.

It’s a great example of how what we believe can affect the way we live and how we deal with our world and our lives. In other words, you can’t just hope that things will change, that you can be the kind of person you want
to be, you just need to believe it. Change that self-talk that isn’t saying what you know you really can be and what you can do, and only tell yourself who you are, who you really can be, to lift your life to great new heights.

Actions and Practices in Self-Esteem

Having healthy self-esteem is a critical part of all of our lives. It is one of those attributes that can help us rise very high in business, within our social circles, and in terms of our happiness and self-confidence.

I was looking through a bunch of my old papers and came across some notes I made years ago while I was looking into a related thing that is so important to our lives—that being confidence. I want to share with you some of those notes that helped me better understand the importance of healthy versus low self-esteem, it’s role in my confidence level, and how I could build more of both in myself.

The sources of healthy self-esteem are mostly internal. In our brains we work on and build what we think of ourselves, and if we approach it correctly, we tend to have lots of confidence and work on bringing our self-esteem to higher levels.

No, you don’t need to achieve perfection overnight, but you can get so much from just small improvements designed to lift low self-esteem. We all need to be aware of the operations of our consciousness as your mind is the best tool for survival. You should be aware of everything and live in the present moment, seeing first, then knowing, then acting.

So, you may ask, what are these actions are we talking about? Well, here are some of them:

1. Have an active mind.

2. Be in the moment.

3. Reach toward relevant facts.

4. Know where I am relative to my goals.

5. Always be open to new knowledge.

6. See and correct mistakes.

7. Make commitments to learning and growth.

In addition, there are a few practices that can boost self-esteem. Here is a list of practices that I wrote down and regularly work on that seem to boost my self-esteem. These practices have helped lead to some great success in my business and personal life.

1. The practice of self-acceptance. (It’s sad that most of us are very hard on ourselves, even harder than we are on other people, and, of course, that self-judgment is quietly tucked in our minds and quietly reduces our self-esteem.)

2. The practice of self-responsibility.

3. The practice of self-acceptance.

4. The practice of living purposefully.

5. The practice of self-assertiveness.

6. The practice of personal integrity.

When self-esteem is low, we are usually motivated by fear. Fear is how we act. There is fear of being exposed, fear of failure, dreading the unknown, and change. Higher self-esteem looks for new frontiers, looks for opportunity, and looks for new and bigger challenges. Sadly, without a good level of self-esteem, we suffer with lots of anxiety and insecurity.

These guidelines were and are very helpful to me in building and maintaining my self-esteem. This is quite important to me now in my retirement years. I am also only a few years away from hitting that big 80 number. I’ve been keeping my tennis game up so I need to keep working on keeping my self-esteem up too! Hope these guidelines and suggestions are helpful to you!

The Great Life List

Wow, what a week I had. I had the hell scared out of me when the doctor told me I had liver cancer! Not a fun beginning of the week, to say the least. But, after a super intense week of blood tests, several scans, and having a camera look around at my insides, the doctors concluded that, in fact, I didn’t have a diseased liver! Yay team! But yeah, wow, what a huge mental change and difference that made in my brain.

Yes, I know, I am 74 years old now and I won’t live forever, but this big-time scare has motivated me to use what time I do have to its best use. Not just for me, but for my family, friends, and even strangers. I think I’ve been giving back but I know there is so much more that can be done.

All of us humans get the same 168 hours a week, but the key to success in helping yourself and others is in how we choose to spend those hours. I know I’ve said this before but it’s worth repeating: To make sure you get more done each day, set goals and be sure to write them down. I hope you are doing this. It is not enough just to set goals. If you are like me – and I think most people are – when you write an objective, task, or goal down, your brain pushes you harder to make sure you complete that task!

My recent big-time scare has motivated me to make a list of what I learned from it. What is really important in this very short life is to raise our spirits, happiness levels, and contentment with life and living.

Here’s what I came up with.

1. Mental and physical pain can be a great life teacher.
2. Place the highest value on LOVE.
3. “There is more to life than increasing it’s speed.” – Mahatma Gandhi
4. The biggest most challenging things can be the more rewarding.
5. Slow yourself down and bask more in the pleasure of living.
6. Pause and take time to appreciate the right now moment.
7. Meditate, even for just 10 minutes a day.
8. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt
9. Go ahead and fake confidence even when you are not confident.
10. Lift your happiness and relaxation levels by getting organized.
11. Get outside daily and study and observe the sky, the clouds, and your surroundings.
12. Exercise daily even by just walking or strolling; maybe hike or jog in new places.
13. Surround yourself with diverse people and spend more time with family and friends.
14. Take time to document a special trip or occasion with photos and even write a short story about it.

I do hope that this list will help you as much as it has helped me. I find that by thinking about these kinds

of things and then writing it all down cements it more deeply in my mind. I am going to push myself to

revisit the list from time to time. I hope you will revisit this, or your own similar list, on a regular basis as well.

 

 

 

Create Big Progress with Small Decisions

Did you ever wonder where self-motivation came from? It’s interesting to see the various levels of it in different people—some have huge amounts of self-motivation and get so much done and are super successful, while others don’t do much of anything except watch TV anytime they can. Many people think that you are either born with great self-determination and motivation or that you’re not but some very interesting studies have shown that this not the case.

Author Charles Duhigg in his wonderful book Smarter, Faster, Better, says motivation is a skill that one can learn and practice and become better and better at it just like reading and writing. But we need to practice the right way.

Duhigg makes the point that “to motivate self we must first feel like we are in control.” But how does that help? Duhigg says that “when people believe they are in control they tend to work harder and push themselves more. They are, on average, more confident and overcome setbacks faster. People who believe they have authority over themselves often live longer than their peers.”

Even very small decisions can give you very large rewards towards building your self-confidence and self-motivation. Duhigg later adds, “When we start a new task, or confront an unpleasant chore, we should take a moment to ask ourselves, “why”. Why are we forcing ourselves to climb up this hill? Why are we pushing ourselves to walk away from the television? Why is it so important to return that email or deal with a coworker whose requests seem so unimportant? Once we start asking why, those small tasks become pieces of a larger constellation of meaningful projects, goals and values”.

So remember, if you really want to build your self-confidence and ramp up your motivation, those small decisions do make big a difference. Get back to taking those baby steps as they add up, turning into miles and miles of progress. Do it enough and you’ve got yourself a marathon of self-confidence and self-motivation!

 

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