Live and Leave a Legacy

The great Arthur Ashe left a wonderful legacy, not so much as you might think from his champion tennis days but more for his amazing kindness, sharing and selfless giving and his gentle warm personality that moved people to accept that every human being is equal. Believe me, back in his early tennis days, black people were not thought of or treated anywhere near equal. In fact, in some areas it was against the law for a white person to play tennis with a black person.

When you read about Arthur Ashe or watch the documentary on his life, you keep seeing these same words over and over to describe him–thoughtful, kind hearted , great role model, warm, gentle, friendly, fair minded and so very concerned about other people. He made a huge difference in the world and is a great example and role model for the rest of us. But you know what? Anyone of us can do similar things if we set our mind to it.  That, believe it or not, brings me to the subject of money.  Arthur Ashe used tennis and the fame he received from that as a lever to do good in the world.  The same thing can be done with money!

Money is neither good nor bad.  I know many people think that money is “the root of all evil” and they claim that this is what the Bible says, but this is not what the bible actually says. It says “the LOVE of money is the root of all evil.”  The real key, of course, is what you do with that money.  If you let money become your god or the end goal in and of itself rather than a means to the end you might well be in big trouble.  I’ve seen this happen many times. Someone will make tons of money and then spend and lavish it all on themselves with high end toys, jewelry, food, drink and drugs and then you see that love of money really does become the root of evil that arises in these people’s lives.

If you want to help humanity for many years to come, way past your own lifetime, then you need to devise a plan that does exactly that.  I’m not saying that you have to have huge amounts of money to leave a great legacy fro mankind but it sure helps. I don’t know about you but working hard to make a lot of money–especially past the point of making enough to just live on–is much easier, seems like less work and is more rewarding when I know that the extra cash and net worth can, and will, be directed to others in need. And not just for the here and now but long after I have checked out of this life. Call it extra motivation, extra energy or whatever you want to call it. It’s real and it can help keep you going.  That ‘legacy’ can also spill over into the future for many, many years after you are gone and may even get bigger as time rolls on.

Try to pretend that this is the only world there will ever be–as in there is no after or next life.  If that were the case–and it might be–and you still really want to live forever, then maybe the only way to do it is through what you do for other people.  First your kids and grandkids, then maybe your friends and associates but why not go way beyond that and try to help total strangers and anyone on the planet that you can reach, especially those that are in desperate need.  If you can motivate them to make their lives and their kids’ lives and their kids’ kids’ lives a little better, encouraging them to pass it on or ‘pay if forward’ forever into eternity, then I think you may see that you are living forever. Just one person has the potential to make the world a better place for numerous other people and that is one terrific legacy that you can leave as well as live.

The Tragedy is in Not Moving On

Tragedy is a word that none of us are fond of.  But you know what, virtually everyone on this planet has tragedy in their lives and if they haven’t had it yet, it’s almost certainly on the way. I don’t care how rich or how poor a person is, tragedy strikes everyone if they live long enough. We all were certainly shocked a few weeks ago when we saw that the loveable, talented and very successful Robin Williams had died by his own hand. This tragedy, as distant as he may be from most of us, touched so many of us nonetheless.

A couple of weeks ago, while talking to a large audience of really great people, I shared the sad, sad story of the biggest tragedy in my life–the death of my sweet, wonderful, 16 year old daughter, Kristin.  Even though that was many years ago, I’ve learned the hard way that you never get over it–that’s the bad news.  The good news is you can learn how to deal with it in a positive way.

After telling the audience about Kristin and how she died, I asked folks to raise their hands if they had has lost a child.  About 3 or 4% of the group slowly raised their hands.  I wasn’t trying to sadden the mood of the group but I was making a very important point.  That point was that if we as human beings are going to prosper and make the world a better place we must learn how to deal with tragedy since we all have or will have tragedy in our lives.

Too often I have heard people complaining and in essence saying, “Poor me. If you had gone through what I’ve been through you would not be able to do any good and great things for yourself or your family let alone strangers and other people out there.” These people are basically saying that because of their unique tragedy, their lives are over and they’ve given up because they have no choice.  If these people would step back a bit and take a look at the big picture and look beyond the facades that nearly everyone puts on, at least to a degree, they’d see that all of us are in the same boat.   And all of us really do have a choice.  We can learn how to deal with the tragedy and move on with our lives. Many times because of that tragedy we’ve had to work through, we can become better people and can be of greater help to those around us. Face the truth–tragedy strikes everyone and none of us will get out of here alive!

Think about that. And please share this message with others that you see that are in need and have not been able to move on quite yet.

Compounding Kindness

Last week I talked about my speech in Las Vegas and emphasized how absolutely critical it is to use leverage if you want to make big money in a relatively short period of time.  But can leverage be used if you want to spread good words and good works so you can make a huge impact for good in the world?  All of us can spread good stuff around and many people do but where do they usually start?  They start right at home with family and friends. But if you want to spread good works and good words greatly beyond that you probably need to use leverage.

Let me try to motivate you with numbers showing how a great idea, a great deed and/or great motivating words can spread and become huge. Let’s call it “good message compounding”.  If any one of us passed on a great message or did a great deed and encouraged the recipients of our kindnesses to “pay it forward” to 10 people asking that they also request their recipients to keep it going by passing it along to ten more and everyone kept that going, what potentially could be the results?  Shockingly, if everyone in the chain were to do this and that passing it on continued 6 times or through 6 levels of people, your message or deed would have affected more than one million people!  If it went to the 9th level, you would have influenced or helped more than one billion people!

Of course, not all those first 10 people would follow through and pass it on and even if the first ten people did we can be pretty certain that not everyone down the line would pass it on.  But the point I want to make is it is possible to end up with huge numbers of people getting your message or being impacted by your good deed. If you keep that “huge potential” in mind it can really be such a super motivator for you and for all of us to push ourselves to do and say more to help others.

So I would encourage you to keep firmly in your mind that 9th level of over a billion people that you could potentially help.  Even though this “good message compounding” most likely won’t multiply into a billion it could certainly multiply into hundreds of good messages and deeds and probably even more than that. And that ain’t too bad coming from one little human on this planet of more than 7 billion people.  In my book that’s pretty exciting, knowing you, as just one person, can have that big of an impact for good in the world. And it all comes back to you in the great feeling it gives you and the happiness you see it bringing to others’ lives.

 

No One’s Life is Perfect

I ran into a friend a few days ago and greeted him with the old familiar “Hey, how’s it going?”  He gave the usual response of “I’m doing fine”, but he added two words to the beginning of his greeting: “I guess …”!  Wow. That totally changed the meaning of his greeting and his facial expression matched those two added words. Obviously, he wasn’t doing “fine”. So I dug a little deeper and found out he really was struggling with some big issues.

In today’s world of fast and quickly expanding social media we are given the impression that people out there have near perfect lives.  I mean take a look at virtually anyone’s Facebook and you’ll see all these fun pictures and comments. Much of what we see is the good stuff, and of course there is really nothing wrong with that, but it sure can make a lot of people feel and believe that their own lives, filled with challenges, big ups and downs, and problems are really “messed up”, causing self-pity, depression and, in the worst cases, even suicide.

The fact is, nobody’s life is perfect or even close, but when you’re looking from the outside you might be tricked into thinking that other people are doing tons better than you. If you take time to look and probe on a deeper level you will see that the surface view can be very misleading since most of us don’t announce or display our problems but prefer to show and advertise our successes.

So, if you really want to know the truth and gain insight into a person’s real and complete life,you need to dig deeper.  One easy way to do this is by simply asking the right questions.  For example, pick a friend or relative that seems to be doing well as you see on their Facebook postings or hear them talk about their world travel, huge income or impressive home and lifestyle, and ask questions like these:

1.  What are the biggest challenges you are having in life right now?

2.  In the past, what do you think has been the worst or hardest part of your life?

3.  Who or what makes you sad?

4.  Do you ever get down or depressed? (If they say yes, ask how often and what causes it.)

5.  What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?

6.  Do you think much about your own mortality?

7.  What in your life scares you the most?

8.  Have you experienced any great tragedy in your life? If so, what happened and when?

9.  Do you worry and think about tragedy striking you in the future?

If you take a little time, you certainly can add your own probing questions to this list.

I’m pretty sure if you question those who you think have “the perfect life” you will find, as I have, that no matter how rich and famous or perfect their lives look from the outside, they too have their problems and challenges and many times much larger problems that you would have ever guessed.

You might ask at this point, “Why go through all of this questioning?”

I personally believe it’s a very good thing to do for at least 2 reasons.  First, it can help you see and understand yourself better and remove any self-pity or feelings of “not as good as other people”. It can even lift you out of a state of depression, so you come up with the thought of “Hey I’m not doing so badly after all.” Because of this, you may see yourself in a much different light and find you have higher self-esteem”.

Second, and most importantly, knowing the challenges and problems of your relatives and friends can put you in the perfect position to step up and help them overcome some of their problems, challenges and obstacles.  This makes it a real Win-Win. And all for just asking a few questions!

How to Teach to Help Others and Yourself

Last week I talked about the epiphany I had as I was doing my daily walk (a day I put in 10 miles of walking!)  As you may remember my breakthrough epiphany was that when we start teaching and preaching helpful ideas and  life enhancing goals with  other people , our very own progress and development is inevitably pushed faster toward achieving the very goals the ideas support.  It’s a pretty neat deal–as we help others we help ourselves!

At the end of last week’s blog I promised I would give you ideas to “jump start” your preaching and teaching plans. It isn’t necessary that you be a teaching type or that you have experience in helping to lead others toward achieving goals. You simply need the desire to help and see others succeed.

So here you go. Read these, follow the suggested steps and see what happens! When you’ve seen the effect you can have on other’s progress as well as your own, expand your influence to compound your success and the positive changes you’ve helped make in other people’s lives.

1. Pick a part of your life you want to greatly improve upon.

2. Write it down.

3. Make a list of comments and talking points that will help you present the benefits of the particular goal that you are going to share with relatives, friends and maybe even strangers.

4. Make a list of those relatives, friends, business associates and acquaintances you’d like to help. The best place to start is with your spouse or partner, so you may want to put them on the top of your list.

5. Now go out there and start teaching and preaching. It doesn’t matter how you do it. It could be face to face, by phone, or through email or texting. The only real rule is to share what you know with openness and caring. Understand that some people won’t be ready for the ideas you have to share. Don’t push it on them; just let them know you’re there to help when they are ready.

6. When you feel you have had significant experience and success, you can also teach more broadly through a blog, guest posting on other people’s blogs and websites or volunteering through mentoring programs for kids, college students, small businesses or whatever matches the kind of knowledge you have to share.

The Gift of Appreciation

What a great time of the year this is!  It’s a season of celebrations with family and friends with all that wonderful music that usually brings back many special memories.  To me, though, it’s mostly about giving. Okay, yes, as a kid it was mostly about receiving but that was a very long time ago!

Giving returns so many super wonderful feelings in such a big way to the giver, sometimes to the point that the giver feels guilty for getting such great feelings as a reward.  Just yesterday I experienced that twinge of guilt after I had done a very small thing.

As I came out of a mall I saw two young ladies, probably in their  early to mid-20’s, sitting on a little wall taking a break from one of the shops that obviously worked at in the mall.  As I walked by I handed each of them a 2 dollar bill, saying “This is for luck. Don’t spend it.  Just keep it for luck.”  I usually give these to kids between 6 and 8 years old and watch their excited reaction and joy.  It is one of my favorite giving things to do. But I guess in this case, since I was struck by the season of giving we are in, I handed these to the young ladies without thinking.  Both girls said “Oh, I’m sorry I can’t accept this,” and I replied, “Give it to a kid and watch the big smile on their face.”

Reluctantly they accepted.  Then they began to thank me as if I’d given them $100 dollar bills.

As I started to walk away they asked, “Hey, where are you from?” and I said “Oh, I’m from here but I grew up in the Middle East, in the country of Turkey.” And then, of course, I had to lay a little Turkish on them, what little I remember. One of the girls surprised me by answering back in Arabic (the two languages have a lot of common words) and then they explained they were from Israel and they’d learned a little Arabic. So we had something in common.

As I walked toward my car I began thinking how their great appreciation for my very small gift made me feel so good.  I realized that “appreciation” is really a gift too and often a big and glorious gift.  Feeling a little connected to these young ladies and warmed by their great appreciation and friendliness, I got in my car and drove back to where they sat, giving both of them a copy of my latest book. Wow … talk about receiving a huge gift back! Their appreciative words and genuine feelings absolutely overwhelmed me.  You would have thought I’d given them a million dollars–calling me an angel from heaven and thanking me to the point that their appreciation was almost embarrassing.

What did I really take away from this experience though?  I realized that the biggest gifts any of us can give are not objects or anything you can put a price tag on, but gifts of love and appreciation. These things, without a doubt, last longer than any gift wrapped present. At this special time of year let’s all try to give more and return more with our sincere appreciation!!

Compounding Generosity

If you’ve read either of my books, How to wake up the-Financial Genius Inside You  or How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, you know how big I am on the concept of compounding. Compounding your investments has to do with keeping the income you make off your investment in the game so that you make new income off the previously created income allowing your revenue to grow exponentially. This concept can actually be applied to many things. If you saw the movie, Pay it Forward, you saw a good deed and the gratitude that came from it compounded. Instead of the one good act being the only good act and the thanks only being returned once, the idea was passed onto multiple people who passed the generosity onto several people each and soon the world was “paying it forward”.

This is the concept behind viral and word of mouth marketing. Tell someone or a group of people and encourage them to share their enthusiasm for your product or service and hopefully the news will continue to spread and grow your market.  We’ve all seen this happen with viral videos. A few people see it, pass it onto a group of friend who pass it onto a group of friends and next thing you know a million people have seen it!

When you give of yourself this season–be it money, time, knowledge or just a kind word–ask yourself if there is any way to compound the gesture. If you give money, it will compound if you give it to a charity that helps poor communities build commerce which will increase the community’s wealth and ability to financially sustain it. If you teach a young person a new skill, like how to invest (see the wonderful email I received and shared in the post last week), encourage them to share what they learned and ask those they teach to share it as well. Then your time with this one person will end up helping maybe dozens or hundreds of people or more.

Of course, if all you can do is give a few more people encouragement and a kind word, the good intentions and good cheer will usually get spread simply because you made someone feel better and that feeling tends to make others want to do the same. Generosity is self-perpetuating. And that, in a nutshell, is true compounding!

 

Our Common Thread: Being Human

Well, I’ve been traveling again–Paris and Serbia and Montenegro. As I’ve mentioned in other blogs, I love to travel because of the stimulation it gives my mind and my spirit. The newness of the experiences and the variety of the places and cultures all combine to inspire and energize me. But there is one thing I don’t find much different from place to place … people.

As much as we might want to imagine it, people around the world are, at their center, pretty much the same. I know that in my experience most people are good and kind and want to help regardless of race, religion or country. We all have this binding similarity that is all too easily forgotten—we are all human and we all want the same basic thing … to be happy.

That’s why it’s so upsetting when I read in the news about people segregating themselves from each other. Whether it’s Muslims feeling hurt by what they are told about the US or the 99% trying to make it look like the 1% are another species, what would really help is for us all to stop and think that each person has the capacity for love and caring as well as hate, each individual is someone’s child, each of us are struggling with pain and misunderstanding and desire. That is who these ‘other’ people are.

Knowing this I am not at all surprised as I travel to meet smiling faces and kind gestures in every country and every culture I get to experience. I think if we expect animosity we will find animosity but if we expect compassion and generosity, it will be there for us to find.

We Make a Wonderful Life Together

Last week I mentioned going to your family and friends for help as you try to figure out what you need in your life to be successful. These very important people in your life know you, sometimes a little better than you do, and their support is so very important to keep you motivated and keep your spirit up when things get rough. I’ve been thinking a lot about that this past week.

Yesterday, my wife Kimberly and I flew out to Boston in order for her to get surgery from the best medical team in the country for what she’s dealing with. We’ve had such overwhelming support from family and friends as we’ve prepared for this. One of our dear friends, Dr. Kellee Shea, wife of the 2002 Olympic gold medal winner Jimmy Shea, is flying out to Boston to be with my wife and be her advocate at the hospital. Isn’t it just wonderful when friends will go to that length to support you?

It’s not just Dr. Shea though. We have all kinds of friends from all different backgrounds and beliefs–Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, Mormon, Methodist, Buddhist, Hindu etc. putting Kimberly’s name in their prayers, temples, synagogues, and meditation rooms. All I can say to them is thank you so very much for caring and with all that spiritual power I am sure all will go well.

It’s times like these that make you stop and think … how would we ever make it in this life if we were all alone without the support of family and friends? These people are so valuable to you, to your goals, and to the quality of your life. So go to these people and get their help. And, to improve your life even more, be there when they need you and be sure they know you are there for them. We make a wonderful life for ourselves, not on our own, but together.

What topics would you like to read more about? What are your favorite posts you’ve read so far? Help me make this blog as helpful as possible to you and the other readers by letting me know what you’d like to read more of at marko@reincome.com. —MOH.

The Great Advantages of Focusing on Others

The Dalai Lama said two very profound things in his book The Compassionate Life

“The moment you think only of yourself, the focus of your whole reality narrows, and because of this narrow focus, uncomfortable things can appear huge and bring you fear and discomfort and a sense of feeling overwhelmed by misery”.

Then next he said, “The moment you think of others with a sense of caring, however, your view widens. Within that wider perspective, your own problems appear to be of little significance …”

That difference, a singular shift in how you choose to look upon the world, influences both your mental and physical health. There, in a nutshell, is one of the biggest and best lessons of life—keep everyone and everything in a positive perspective.

But how do you gain that perspective, if you find you are dwelling mostly on you and your problems? You program yourself through the use of positive affirmations.

I began repeating the following every morning and I immediately noticed a difference in my conversations and relationships — it gave me a new and immensely genuine level of interest in other people’s lives and challenges and it’s a very simple statement: “I love people and I carefully listen to them.”

Loving and getting along with other people is so very critical. The effect on your mental health is probably easy to imagine but there are also studies showing a strong connection between how we interact with people and our physical health. The more positive you are about others and how you relate to them, the more positive an impact this will have on you both mentally and physically.

Choose the above PA or create one that truly strikes you and repeat several times every day. Keeping focused on others will make life better for both them and you.

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