Refire Your Life

I’ve written a bit about retirement recently, and how it kind of kicked me in the face, mostly because I hadn’t made enough plans or lined up enough activities to fill my life and all those hours that were suddenly open and free. The big problem was I hadn’t realized I needed to plan all those “to do” things so, instead of enjoying being able to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, I found myself going a bit crazy.

This really surprised me but I hadn’t really thought about how important a routine, a purpose, or a to-do list was. Once I started to understand what was missing, I did set up new goals and tried to come up with, and stick to, a daily and weekly routine and it worked for me. Well, at least somewhat. There were still tough days to deal with.

Then, recently, I came across a book—I think one of my kids gave it to me. Its title, Refire! Don’t Retire, really grabbed me, as did the subtitle, Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life, by Ken Blanchard and Morton Shaevitz.  It’s a great book that has motivated me to plan more, set better routines, and go after more in life.

The author outlines four keys to the best life: Emotional, Intellectual, Physical, and Spiritual. This made me look closer at each of these areas of my life.

After reading this great book I concluded that I certainly couldn’t play tennis, my favorite game, all day, every day, so I decided to look at other things I could do that would give me great satisfaction and use up my free time.

When I stopped to really look, wow, did I find plenty of things to put on my list. There is everything from spending more time planning stuff with my family and friends to going out of my way to meet new people. Then I also thought, “Wait a darn minute. What have I always loved to do and now can do even more of? That big something that I’ve always loved is traveling. Yes, it takes money and can take quite a bit of work to plan, but that is just another thing I get to do with my free time.

I’ve found, over the years, that traveling to new places expands and excites the mind and we can all learn so much from looking at and being with other cultures and in other countries. It really does open up your life.

Then another thought that I haven’t followed through on yet, but I will, is to do more coaching and teaching of others, young or old, about the things I’ve learned about life and living. I want others to know that life is fun and fulfilling but it really does help to help others. I’ve had so many people come up to me or write to thank me for showing them the way to make a fortune and the many ways there are to expand their lives. Doing that has been the most rewarding part of all. It is better than money even.

Enhancing Your Accountability

Some years back, I had a profound thought with huge life enhancing potential for everyone on the planet. Practicing this particular idea has changed and helped my life for a long time, but it was only then, when I really identified it and put it into words, that I was able to share it with others.

It’s a simple concept. Any goal, habit, human quality, or desire that I preach, teach, or otherwise pontificate about automatically, and almost without effort, pushes me to do more of it myself. Those spoken and written pontifications are like a truth drug for my mind, pushing me to do the things I have encouraged and taught others to do. I am totally convinced it will and does work that way for everyone.

If you have been reading my blogs for a while, you might recall that I set some pretty ambitious work out, weight loss, and healthy eating goals for myself. This was particularly true back when I was counting down to my big 70th birthday. 90 days before my 70th birthday, I set some of my toughest health and workout goals ever and in those 3 months, my mind fixed heavily on those self-promises. Yes, it was all advice I gave to myself but I also started to share it here, with my readers, and I believe that practice was one of the reasons I was able to do so well and keep it up.

I guess you could say that my brain pushed me to remain “true to myself” and to my readers. You see, if you teach and preach to others what they could and should do for self-improvement, or just about any subject, your inner self gives you the message that you must live up to what you put out there.

We all know the saying “practice what you preach” and our inner most brain and soul does not want us to be a hypocrite, therefore our subconscious pushes us to be true to our words. I am pretty darn convinced that is how we automatically become better at whatever subject, goal or life enhancing ideal we talk about and teach to others. It’s a concept called accountability. Only when you teach it, you’re not only putting yourself in a position to be a shining example of what you preach, but you are deeply reminded of the value of your words.

I challenge you to not just work on self-improvement, but to start teaching others about the things that you want to improve in your life. As always, write down your goals and objectives so you can stay on track, then share and teach what you know. In a few months, take a look back and see what this enhanced accountability has done for you as well as for the others you taught new things to.

I would suggest that you think deeply and intently about this and then put it into practice. See if it doesn’t profoundly enhance the aspects of your life that you aim to drastically improve. Whether you want to get in super great shape or become a much better partner, or even make a few million dollars, you can do it if you follow these ideas with commitment and reinforce it by putting it out into the world to help others.

Refilling Your Social Life in a Fulfilling Retirement

The great thing about regular work or a job is that it gives you a good reason to get out of bed each morning and get going, and it is very important when you retire is to set something up that replaces that for you. One way to do that, as I mentioned in last week’s post, is put yourself to work in a way that can better the world.

As you push yourself to get involved with a charity, or whatever it is that you choose, you will find that you can replace what your work gave you in terms of structure and routine with the activities of your new mission. This will give you something to get you out of bed but, just as important, that structure and routine will also give you a new social aspect to your life.

Most of us develop a significant social life that revolves around work, but then, when we retire, this is often lost. So, getting involved in a charity or other organization can replace what you are missing when you leave your job or no longer work. It will do all that while you do a little something to make the world a better place.

Most of us humans really don’t realize how very important our social contacts are until they disappear or are greatly diminished when we retire. It’s not that you won’t know those same people or continue to have great friendships with some of them, but when you’re no longer working together, you are suddenly not nearly as involved in each other’s lives and you don’t see each other nearly so often. Most people will greatly miss the regular social contact if they do not replace it with another purposeful and regular activity that also involves time connecting and interacting with other people.

Each of us will have our own plan but here is what I plan on doing to push myself to create a new routine, structure, and source of social connections in my life that will make me get out of bed every morning and look forward to the day: I would like to teach grade school, high school, and university students in classes on writing, marketing, public speaking, financial methods and strategies, and maybe even tennis, on a regular scheduled time and day. I know quite a bit about all those subjects, and I do love to teach others how to do these things and show them how they can have great success and a huge sense of fulfillment and satisfaction from learning these new skills.

So, my challenge to you is to start thinking about your own retirement and start making plans on what you will do to create routine, structure, and social connections. Make a list now, even if you are many years away from retirement. You can change up that list as things come to you but just being aware of the necessity will help you create a fulfilling plan. You won’t be sorry if you do that now!

Retirement Can Create a Better World

I want to write a bit more about last week’s theme of retirement – how it can be good, bad or sometimes very ugly. Even if you are many years away from retirement, you can make your retirement much better and have an easier transition if you are aware of some of the pitfalls that many people stumble into when they retire. I want to share a few secrets to making your retirement transition quite comfortable and pleasant.

Part of the reason I want to share these points is that, for me, retirement came close to driving me seriously crazy. It made me feel worthless and caused me to have big mood swings. Last week I wrote about some of the great and promising ideas from Patrice Jenkin’s book, What Will I Do All Day. She points out that many people go into retirement without realizing how critically important it is for them to still have routine and structure in their lives. Most people’s work lives automatically give them those two critical things. Plus, their work usually results in a lot of measurable production which lifts the human mind and spirit and gives us great personal satisfaction. The huge problem comes when a person retires and most, if not all, of those satisfying items quickly disappear. One other thing that also goes away or is often greatly diminished is one’s social life!

So, what is an excellent antidote to the retirement blues and the great letdown? In one word it’s WORK. But it has to be much more than just busy work. It has to be meaningful and productive.  Ideally, it’s doing something that you love and something that helps other people. It should be something that helps make the world a better place because, although you don’t really need to make a dime out of doing that work, it needs to be purposeful.

For me, the answer was going for the great feelings I get from donating my time and money to charity work. What is especially appealing to me is helping kids. Even doing a little thing like reading to them or telling simple, fun stories on a regular basis is fulfilling and purposeful. Even more fulfilling for me is teaching, because of my background and my passion.

I’ve done a little of this already, but I’ve just begun this particular new mission in life. The time I spend with the kids involves simple things but it is now part of my routine and structure and is a huge mood lifter for both me and the kids. A similar mission could do the same for you no matter what charity you choose. In a small but growing way, we can make the world a better place all while staying fulfilled and purposeful in our retirement.

How to Teach to Help Others and Yourself

Last week I talked about the epiphany I had as I was doing my daily walk (a day I put in 10 miles of walking!)  As you may remember my breakthrough epiphany was that when we start teaching and preaching helpful ideas and  life enhancing goals with  other people , our very own progress and development is inevitably pushed faster toward achieving the very goals the ideas support.  It’s a pretty neat deal–as we help others we help ourselves!

At the end of last week’s blog I promised I would give you ideas to “jump start” your preaching and teaching plans. It isn’t necessary that you be a teaching type or that you have experience in helping to lead others toward achieving goals. You simply need the desire to help and see others succeed.

So here you go. Read these, follow the suggested steps and see what happens! When you’ve seen the effect you can have on other’s progress as well as your own, expand your influence to compound your success and the positive changes you’ve helped make in other people’s lives.

1. Pick a part of your life you want to greatly improve upon.

2. Write it down.

3. Make a list of comments and talking points that will help you present the benefits of the particular goal that you are going to share with relatives, friends and maybe even strangers.

4. Make a list of those relatives, friends, business associates and acquaintances you’d like to help. The best place to start is with your spouse or partner, so you may want to put them on the top of your list.

5. Now go out there and start teaching and preaching. It doesn’t matter how you do it. It could be face to face, by phone, or through email or texting. The only real rule is to share what you know with openness and caring. Understand that some people won’t be ready for the ideas you have to share. Don’t push it on them; just let them know you’re there to help when they are ready.

6. When you feel you have had significant experience and success, you can also teach more broadly through a blog, guest posting on other people’s blogs and websites or volunteering through mentoring programs for kids, college students, small businesses or whatever matches the kind of knowledge you have to share.

The Long Arm of Influence

This past week, a very influential woman died. She was influential not because she had a direct impact on your life or mine, but because she shaped the life of someone who does have a direct impact on people all over the world–that was Hilary Clinton’s mother, Dorothy Rodham.

It’s truly amazing, when you think that the actions of one person can have affected the entire globe. I am certain Secretary Clinton would not be where she is today if her mother had not been the kind of person she was. Hilary Clinton has said that her mother had taught her to stand up for herself and to stand up for those who needed help. Instilling those values in her daughter is a huge reason why we have this very strong and determined US Secretary of State right now. I doubt Dorothy Rodham thought to herself, as she was raising her kids, “I better make sure they know how to stand up for themselves because some day they may have to do it in front of the whole world.” But the fact that she did has had an effect on our world’s history.

I just wanted you think about that. You never know what kind of effect you are going to have. You affect your kids, colleagues, friends and even strangers you run into and you have no idea how huge or small your influence will be. So consider that what you do, how you impact the people around you, and what you teach those that look up to you may very well have long reaching consequences. Knowing that, don’t you think we all should really concentrate on having a positive, uplifting and encouraging demeanor and when we pass on any bits of wisdom, be sure that we are more likely to push people to do right by those they know and for themselves?

I can think of several people I have meet through the years that affected me greatly including Curtis Carlson and Paul Meyer who I write about in my book, “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. My books, this blog, and all the little projects I have going on that aim to help others are a result of the influence of great individuals like these. If you haven’t read about them yet, get the book here and be influenced then go out and influence other is a huge, positive way.