Timeless Words from the Past

Years ago, my father encouraged me to write down my thoughts and experiences. He was a very good writer. He taught that subject at a university and even wrote for a national magazine. Although I didn’t do those things, I did a lot of writing in my life as well.

I began writing many years ago and have written six books as well as writing this blog for over 15 years now. When I was looking for what I would write for the blog’s post this week, I came across one of my journals and started reading through it. That’s when I came across what I had written on March 29th of 1998. I thought I would share some of the lines from it with you here.

We value so many activities—games, sports, work, relationships, eating, drinking, etc.–to distract ourselves from ourselves. Is making it in the world the important thing about our being?

Climbing and coming back down from Mountain Everest is a perfect metaphor for life. Note that when you get to the top, you’re really only halfway. But it’s easy because it’s almost all downhill. The basic message of life is… RELAX.

Love is what we are born with; fear is what we learn. Love is our ultimate reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.

Meaning doesn’t lie in us. We overvalue what we perceive with our physical senses and undervalue what we know to be true in our hearts.

Time only exists in the moment of right now. Time is a series of “Now”. The way we spend each “now” creates our destiny.

All those thoughts really got me thinking but it came down to a single idea we can all work on, and I’ll share that with you today: The challenge to myself (and to you, my readers) is to love yourself, RELAX, and live in the “right now” time.

The Important Stuff

On my wall, I put up a great poster that has, in large letters, that old USA symbol on it, but it’s not what you think. You may recall my writing about that USA thing some time ago. Do you remember what it stands for?

The large letters don’t stand for the United States of America, not in this case. They stand for Unconditional Self- Acceptance!  That big chart on the wall lifts my thinking and my mood and even if it’s just a short glance and a quick thought, it still lift my mind. So, I’ve made a habit of looking at the big sign on my bedroom wall almost every day and thinking about what it means. It’s amazing what those 3-letter do for my mind.

I would strongly suggest you get a sign like that up on your wall too. It could be the USA sign or make you own sign with those letters. Or choose something else that has been helpful for you. Just give yourself a reminder that makes you stop and think and appreciate yourself and what you have.  It’s so good for your mind and can help raise your mood.

Here are a few other thoughts that have helped lift my life, my mood, and my mind and that you might want to put up as a reminder in your own life.

1. Be grateful.
2. Stay physically active.
3. Don’t let your social life slip. In fact, try to make it bigger and better. Be an instigator of your social life by calling and inviting friends to do something with you and have them invite their friends.
4. Think about how you can motivate your family and friends to get out and join you for breakfast lunch, and dinner. Doing this not only raises your mood but the mood of the people who come along.
5. Stay healthy and eat smart.
6. Do what works for you. It might be reading certain books or writing your own book, even if you are not planning to have it published. Such goals can give you a huge boost of confidence and can lift your mood.
7. Travel and experience new places and people. Wow, I sure loved my around the world trip with my wife, meeting all those wonderful and interesting people, some who were very famous and successful people.
8. Teach your kids and friends what works for you to lift your mind and your life and explain how it can help them too.
9. Be sure to live in and appreciate the great right now moments!

That’s just a short beginning list. I could add many more items to my list but I don’t want to bore you or take any  more of your time. However, I bet you can add a ton to the list as well. And you should! They might all be things you are already very aware of but we all need reminders to keep focused on all the great important stuff.

Adventures We Survive

Recently, I was going through a stack of old files and came across some of my past writings. I was quite surprised to find notes from an interview I did 20 years ago that talked all about my success in business and other successes in my life. My overall thoughts were, “Wow, I did all that, little old me!”

In these files, there were some interesting thoughts and stories like these things I wrote about back then:

Someone once said that life is a series of adventures that we learn to survive. We live each day either dodging what life throws at us or watching and holding it until we can figure out a way to pass it off. But it’s not only what life throws at us that we must deal with, it’s also our own decisions and their consequences that we must learn to survive.

This is a story of how one man’s search for financial freedom and personal identity became a series of adventures that changed his idea of what success meant to him. (Yes, I am talking about myself.) It’s a story that illustrates how the journey is surely more important that the goal itself. It is a reminder that in life, we are often awakened from our comfortable lives and asked again to perform.

In October 2001, a trial began at the federal courts. The Federal Trade Commission had been building a case of fraud against the American Home Business Association and its founder, Mark O. Haroldsen. Yep, that was me, and, wow, that lawsuit hit me like a ton of bricks. The amazing thing was I wasn’t even running the business then, but they knew I had plenty of money.

Years later, we finally went to federal court where the FTC put on many, many witnesses to try to support that multimillion-dollar lawsuit. I didn’t put on a single witness. I testified for myself and told the court that my company did nothing wrong nor did I. The case went on and on and after the FTC had put everything out on their case, the judge went into his private chambers and came out a short time later, delivering his verdict.

The court found me and my company totally innocent of any wrongdoing and basically said that the FTC should never have even filled a case against me. Then he gave them a bit of a lecture.

That case took years and the mental pressure, worry, and costs took a huge toll on me. I wouldn’t want to go through that again, but I am proud to say that I stood my ground and stood up for myself and the company I founded. I’m proud of what I did back then, and I not only survived, I kept working and I kept thriving. I didn’t need to dodge that particular challenge because I built my business with integrity, and it really paid off!

Big Dreams Take Bold Courage

Back in 1983, I wrote a book called The Courage to Be Rich. It really does take a lot of courage to make big time money. Truthfully, it takes courage to accomplish big dreams in almost any field, but being rich was my big dream and I made it happen.

Deciding I wanted to be rich and grabbing what fame I could along the way was a dream of mine from when I was pretty young. It was rarely easy, and I had some big-time struggles. Still, I kept at it and was able to accomplish my goals by staying courageous.

Thinking about this recently, I went back and read through some things I had written back in those days. I can easily see how much I preached to myself and how very hard I pushed myself to make big things happen. I also realized that I helped many people along the way by writing and speaking publicly. I sold millions of books and appeared on tons of national tv shows, including one with Tom Brokaw.

I’ve written so much and many of those words still give me energy and lots of ideas to keep me writing. I also still love to share my thoughts on what works for me, as I have seen how that sharing has helped so many, many other people.

Here are a few words on courage I wrote those many years ago:

“Courage is going against the odds, against popular opinions. It’s doing what most people are unwilling to do because of the criticism and flak they know they will receive from family, friends, or even strangers. Courage is living your life for you. It’s setting you own rules and policies and taking full responsibility when you fail or stumble. It’s resisting other people’s attempted manipulations of you. Courageous people do not accept all traditions, conventional wisdom, or pat answers without close scrutiny and severe questioning.”

Ok, I know this blog was short, but I am in Kauai and having too much fun! Next week I’ll share with you the 13 keys to success!

GBAs and PBAs

Just the other day, I was going through a ton of old stuff of mine. Most of it was old paperwork including my past journals in which I wrote mainly about my thoughts and actions, from work stuff to family trips.

I began reading a journal I wrote between 2003 and 2004. That brought back both good and bad memories. I particularly liked reading of my thoughts when going to a foreign country which always lifts my brain and body. I took my kids and, later, my grandkids on these trips. They were so much fun and always pushed my enjoyment of life to a higher level. It did the same for the kids and grandkids. When I just stay home and do almost nothing, the lack of activity causes me to get depressed.

In my journal, I wrote about Martin Seligman, and was reminded of his advice. Martin Seligman is a psychologist and author who gives talks and writes about positive psychology and what it can do for our well-being. He believes we should follow our passions, the type that takes us away to that wonderful place of total engagement. For me, that is usually writing. Amazingly enough, however, I spend so little time doing it these days!

Seligman believes it is vitally important, especially as an antidote to depression, to engage oneself in activities and projects that challenge us and cause us to think. That effort gratifies us as opposed to activities that take little or no thinking and require very little effort. For me, it is obvious that writing is in the first category of gratification-based activities, or GBA. That second category is pleasure-based activities, or PBA.

Here are two lists — one of gratification-based activities (GBA) and the other of pleasure-based activities (PBA). Which one do you think lifts the mind and body to a higher level?

PBA:

• Watching T.V.
• Shopping
• Drinking at a bar
• Excessive sleeping
• Eating favorite foods
• Back rubs/massages

GBA

• Writing
• Reading good books
• Stimulating conversations
• Playing tennis
• Hiking in the mountains
• Social gatherings

There are lots more on my list, but I don’t want to bore you. I’m sure you can make a great list of your own.

I should note that pleasure-based activities are not necessarily bad. The thing to remember is that when indulging in pleasures, you should try to enhance them by being very mindful and aware of what you’re doing, taking time to savor those pleasurable moments. It also helps to spread out the PBAs as well as change them up to keep them fresh and novel. The brain really loves novelty.

Paying attention to how the things we do in our life lifts our brains and bodies, or doesn’t, can help us to make better choices in how we spend our time. Pleasurable things are nice in the moment, but doing something that leaves us feeling gratified can give us a boost for days, weeks, or even years. We humans can, in fact, choose to change and lift our minds and find greater levels of gratification in so much of what we do.

The Mutual Benefits of Writing

Life can be so very interesting and exciting. It’s amazing to me that such a great source of excitement and energy, as well as fascinating discoveries for my brain, comes from just writing. I’ve found, over the years that I’ve been writing, that my words can affect me as much as they can affect any reader.

Whether it’s a book or my weekly blog, and especially if I’m writing about a subject that I’m not very good at or one that I’m not actively doing, I often find that the writing gets me thinking about it, and I begin changing and improving myself. So, not only do I write about it, writing about it makes me do it as well. I’ve said this many times over the years — whenever I preach or write to others, I am also talking to myself!

Whether it’s reading more, exercising, getting more social, or, actually, pretty much anything, I do more of the helpful things I write about after I write about it. I guess the process of writing about a behavior or habit makes an impression on my brain and that little nudge can make a big, big difference in my life. What the brain is reminded of can really make a huge difference in the lives of so many of us humans, including both good and bad things.

I don’t think most of us fully realize the great power of the brain and how we can direct it to help us accomplish almost anything we want to do in our lives. When we spend time writing about a particular subject, our brains take the hint and push us to do more about it. That is one huge benefit we can get from writing. Whether we write it in a letter to someone or in a journal or diary (or, for me, writing in my weekly blog), we usually come to understand and retain that information as well as having a chance to learn a lot about ourselves.

Wow, having now written about all the good stuff writing can do for me, I’ve decided to do a lot more of it. How about you?

Your Book, Your Life

In my previous two posts, I wrote about my great younger brother Scott who died a couple weeks ago and how devastating it was to me and his kids and grandkids. However, he did something recently that has helped me and others a ton. He wrote a book about his life as a cop, and it was published just a few days before his unexpected death.

Now I’m reading his book, Cop Living On The Edge. It has lifted me so much since his death. It’s very well written and tells of his many dangerous and exciting experiences as a cop living in Denver, Colorado. It brought him back to life for me. That’s the power of books. They can really lift your spirts and your mind.

And this, my friends, is a very good reason for people to write a book. It doesn’t matter whether you can find a publisher that will print and distribute it because you can do that yourself. You can even print just a few copies.

Why would anyone want to do that? Because you could be helping your family, your kids, your grandkids, and, yes, even your great-great-great-grandkids. The book will be there long after you’ve passed on to whatever comes next! (I sure hope there is a “next”!) All those humans can benefit from your words and life experiences. And those that didn’t know you when you were alive can be inspired by your life and your legacy. The book can teach others through the things you’ve learned and experienced, showing them what motivated and pushed you to bigger and better things in this life.

Don’t think you can’t write your own book just because you never thought of yourself as a writer. You simply take it small and easy at first. Just write a little at a time and I think you’ll be surprised with what you come up with.

Personally, I started by writing in a small diary. Back then, I never saw myself as a writer and certainly not a writer that would sell 2 million copies of my first book and write 8 more books since then. I then changed to writing in a journal and, from time to time, I would go back and reread what I had written and make improvements and changes to make it better. I would strongly suggest you do the same. I think you will be surprised and pleased with what you come up with in the long run.

Just think of how your family and friends will be lifted to a higher level and love you even more long after you have checked out of this world because of your book. It doesn’t have to be a how-to or motivational book, just the story of your life, what you have learned that helped you enjoy and lift your life to higher levels, and insight into the things you loved that made you very happy and satisfied!

I challenge you to start on your own book. Take that first step today. I’m pretty sure you’ll be very glad you did!

Investing, Writing, and Being Grateful

Like I said in my previous blog, money has not been the best reward that I’ve received over the years. The best reward has come from helping people and it’s fantastic when they take time to give thanks and tell me how very grateful they are for helping them. That makes me feel great.

A few days ago, I received a wonderful letter from Jay P. DeCima, also known as “Fixer Jay”. I want to share some of his words with you. He begins with, “Hi Mark; I hope you are well.” I was well and his letter made me feel even better!

He went on to say, “You may or may not remember me. I’m a real estate guy. I participated at several of your real estate seminars and conventions during the mid-1980’s. I was a speaker at your week-long seminar at your Salt Lake City home. William Nickerson was my long-time friend and mentor.

“What triggered this letter was a re-listening to the tapes you and Bill Nickerson recorded with Dick Hamilton as the moderator. The tapes were recorded in 1987 sometime before CD’s replaced cassettes. Recordings were made at Bill Nickerson’s beachfront home in Aptos, Monterey Bay, near Santa Cruz, California. Mark, I’m not exactly sure about your age, but your web page shows you graduated from Ames High School in 1962. I graduated from Shasta Union High School, Redding, California in 1952 and I’m one month shy of 87 years old.

“After listening to the tapes, something you said stuck in my mind (what’s left). At 87 years old I’m lucky to remember even playing the tapes! You said, without any fanfare or hesitation, that you planned on living 101 more years until you reached the age of 144. I must say, that’s quite a plan! Nickerson guessed 100 years. If you wish, we could call that a mulligan or I’m totally agreeable with giving you a ‘do over’. But given the water that’s passed under the bridge, are you still sticking by the same estimate? Forgive me, Mark, I just had to ask.

“Your website shows you’ve written a new book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. Congratulations. I have oodles of passion, I just can’t tell for how long! I’ll order a copy. Perhaps it will shed some light on this longevity issue.”

 (By the way, I sent him a copy before he could order it.)

“I too have taken up the pen in my twilight years. I write real estate how-to-books. I’ve written six books. Three are self-published. My titles can be viewed on Amazon under the author’s name Jay P. DeCima (aka) known as Fixer Jay.”

(Note to readers: I too started by self-publishing since it can be so hard to get a publisher. After you have self-published a book or two, however, that gets their attention and then they are more agreeable to publish your books for you.)

“Both investing and writing have worked well for me. I had 300 screaming tenants at my high-water mark. I stayed so long I even miss the tenants. Senile perhaps might offer a better explanation. Mark, I’d love to hear from you sometime. We can talk about real estate, book publishing or even aging. Your choice—I’m open.”

So, I called Jay today and had a wonderful, long conversation with him. What a terrific guy! Managing Tenants & Toilets is one of his book. What a great title! You can order it by calling toll-free 1-800-722-2550 or send a fax to 1-530-223-2834.

Motivation in Words

It happened at the airport. I was in big hurry-I had to get a 13-year-old German boy on his plane back to Berlin. As I ran down the concourse, a handsome, 40ish stranger said as I hurried by, “Hey Mark, good to see you.”  I had no clue who he was, but I waved and kept running. Five minutes later, after they boy was on the plane, the stranger approached me again. This time he put out his hand and introduced himself.

He told me how he bought my first book How to Wake Up the Financial Genius Inside You and gave me credit for making him tons of money and dramatically improving his life. The chance meeting was a catalyst and a huge motivator for me to keep writing so that I might help more people with their financial lives. There are not many things that make me feel more content and satisfied as being told that I helped a person make a fortune which lifted their lives to a new level.

I’ve had so many people thank me for writing my books, my blogs, for sharing my methods, formulas, and experience, that I am sometimes overwhelmed. But it also motivates me to write more. I’m a total believer in the power of setting goals, but there is a critical part of goal setting that many people don’t use and that critical part is a pretty simple process that almost guarantees that you will reach the goals that you set: it’s the simple act of writing your objectives and goals down on paper or on your iPad or computer. By doing that, you more permanently plant the goal in your mind and the likelihood of reaching that goal increases exponentially.

Anne Klauser, in her great little book, Right It Down… Make It Happen, talks about the huge power of writing your goals down and what it does that pushes you to follow through and reach the goals that you’ve set for yourself. Quoting her, she said, “Writing it down feeds the inner mind… the other than conscious mind.”  There is something in that inner mind that drives a person to go after and reach the goal that was set.

She goes on to say, “Create your own list of what is meaningful to you. List your intentions and begin your day by writing them down.” Do that enough and it will become a habit that you don’t even have to think about.

Personally, I’ve noticed that when I write down my goals—long term or even just a to do list for today—it’s like my brain won’t leave me alone and it coaxes me to follow through and do what my list tells me to do.  It’s almost like magic, the way it works in my head. It doesn’t seem to matter whether my goals are putting aside time to work out, taking my 20,000 steps a day, a list of people I need to talk to, or even taking time to write this blog, my brain works overtime to make sure I get it done.

If you haven’t been writing down your goals and to do lists, try it and I think you will be impressed and pleasantly surprised how much more you’ll get done and how much progress you’ll make towards your big goals not to mention finishing your daily list of goals, which always feels great.

 

Refilling Your Social Life in a Fulfilling Retirement

The great thing about regular work or a job is that it gives you a good reason to get out of bed each morning and get going, and it is very important when you retire is to set something up that replaces that for you. One way to do that, as I mentioned in last week’s post, is put yourself to work in a way that can better the world.

As you push yourself to get involved with a charity, or whatever it is that you choose, you will find that you can replace what your work gave you in terms of structure and routine with the activities of your new mission. This will give you something to get you out of bed but, just as important, that structure and routine will also give you a new social aspect to your life.

Most of us develop a significant social life that revolves around work, but then, when we retire, this is often lost. So, getting involved in a charity or other organization can replace what you are missing when you leave your job or no longer work. It will do all that while you do a little something to make the world a better place.

Most of us humans really don’t realize how very important our social contacts are until they disappear or are greatly diminished when we retire. It’s not that you won’t know those same people or continue to have great friendships with some of them, but when you’re no longer working together, you are suddenly not nearly as involved in each other’s lives and you don’t see each other nearly so often. Most people will greatly miss the regular social contact if they do not replace it with another purposeful and regular activity that also involves time connecting and interacting with other people.

Each of us will have our own plan but here is what I plan on doing to push myself to create a new routine, structure, and source of social connections in my life that will make me get out of bed every morning and look forward to the day: I would like to teach grade school, high school, and university students in classes on writing, marketing, public speaking, financial methods and strategies, and maybe even tennis, on a regular scheduled time and day. I know quite a bit about all those subjects, and I do love to teach others how to do these things and show them how they can have great success and a huge sense of fulfillment and satisfaction from learning these new skills.

So, my challenge to you is to start thinking about your own retirement and start making plans on what you will do to create routine, structure, and social connections. Make a list now, even if you are many years away from retirement. You can change up that list as things come to you but just being aware of the necessity will help you create a fulfilling plan. You won’t be sorry if you do that now!

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