Mindful Aging

Wow, the end of 2021 is already here, just a few more days. Time is such an interesting thing and I find it fascinating that the passage of time seems to change its speed depending on your age and/or things you have planned in your life. When most of us were young, anxious to be old enough to get our driver’s license, time seemed to be moving so very, very slowly. I remember counting down the days until I could get mine. But things do change, especially when you get older.

At my age now, just a little more than 3 months until I hit 78, the years seem to speed up. I can remember, easily, the new year’s celebration I was at last year at my good tennis friend Al Ficker’s house in Kauai. It’s like it was just a couple of months ago. Wow, this year just flew by in a flash.

I am re-reading the great book by Jo Ann Jenkins called Disrupt Aging. I’ve written and talked about her book in previous posts. There are so many good and smart things she says about “really owning your age” and being proud of whatever that age number is. I loved her quote about a woman who said, “No one’s going to deprive me of my age.”

Marc Freedman, founder and CEO of Encore.org, and author of The Big Shift wrote, “In Disrupt Aging, Jenkins offers the generational call to action we’ve been waiting for—to break free from outmoded ideas about age, to embrace the rich possibilities present in the decades opening up beyond fifty, and to join a growing movement of individuals determined to live lives infused with purpose. Beautifully written, full of humor and inspiration, and powerfully argued, this book offers the definitive map for making the most of the longevity revolution, as individuals and as a nation.”

Jo Ann has so many good thoughts and ideas for our lives as we age, such as:

• The best life includes contributing to the well-being of others.
• Try new things and take chances…don’t live in fear of aging.
• Focus on health, wealth and self. 
• This is a time to shift from “mindless aging” to mindful living.

If you are retired now, take a hard look at your life and determine your thoughts about aging. How can you age more mindfully? And if you are not retired yet, then it’s a good time to start making plans for what you are going to do when retired. Yes, write it down, make lists, set priorities and write down your future schedule. You’ll be glad you did when you finally retire.

And when you do retire, as well as right now, be sure to strive for always living in the right now moment!

Stimulating Passion

Most every human being loves their passion. There are so many ways to go after and build such passions. Some of these come easily and automatically, such as when we were young and everything was new. Those new things made our passions rise. That first day of school, seeing old friends and new, could be a quick and huge hit on the passion button.

In my book How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, I make the point that, from my experience, passion can start to fade a bit as we age. But, thankfully, passion can be manufactured. All you need to do is put something together in an unusual, better, or at least new-to-you way.

One of the keys to manufacturing passion is to set difficult objectives and work towards them. I clearly remember when I was 27 years old, and I set a goal to make a net worth for myself of $1 MILLION by the time I hit age 30. What a huge turn on that was for me. It raised my passion level big time. I was one year late in hitting that goal, but having that huge and exciting goal really kept me and my passion going.

From about age 25, your brain produces less and less dopamine and serotonin, the hormones that help you feel good and fan the flames of passion. Although a child’s body is awash in these hormones, we need to work on stimulating our system to produce more of these hormones as we age. We can do this by eating the right foods, exercising, and, most importantly, setting the right goals that keep us going after them.

Renewing your passions can really show you what you and your brain can do. It can give you a ton of energy as well as raising the quality of your personal and business life.

One of my biggest passions is travelling. I’m talking about everything from huge international travel, like going around the world on my honeymoon, to just driving through a neighborhood that I’ve never visited. I’ve been to 94 countries and still feel my passion rising just planning a trip to a new place, even if it’s a small country or an old neighborhood.

Passion for living comes and goes. Our big challenge then is to figure out what our passion is, what turns our lights on and gets us excited. When we figure that out, we can do it more and more. And it’s always a good idea to write down our passions and the goals that keep them going so it will stick in your brain, pushing you to do it and to keep doing it.

Powerful Duo: Belief + Goals

As I said many times before, “Your first step should be to set a goal.” That’s what Bunker Bean, the character I’ve been talking about in the book Bunker Bean by Harry Leon Wilson, did. He was determined first to learn all he could about Napoleon, who he had come to believe he had been in a past life. (See the last two blogs where I detail more about the Bunker Bean story.) Then he was determined to practice the principles that Napoleon followed and, as he did, he moved up the ladder in the company he worked for. 

Without a goal, you and I cannot go very far, which is exactly how far Bunker Bean was going until he met the spiritualist who made him believe he had been Napoleon. However, once you set your goal, funny things start happening in your head. Your point of view starts to change and suddenly you find yourself on a new, and much more productive, path. 

The process can be rather automatic. When you set a goal (and write it down) your mind starts working overtime, trying to figure out how to reach that goal. The mind will work on the problem even while you are asleep. It will work on it anytime it’s not otherwise engaged in important thought. 

So, the bottom line here is to set your goals high. Some things may seem impossible to achieve, but put your mind to work on the problem anyway. If you let it cook long enough in your head, a solution will be found. 

Whatever you do, don’t be like those who live well below their capacity. Set your goals high and then expand your capacity to meet them!  

Next week, I will talk about Bunker Bean finding out that his friend, the spiritualist, was revealed for what he really was — a fraud! I think you’ll be surprised to hear what happens to Bunker then!

Believing in Yourself

Last week I wrote all about the story of Bunker Bean and how he was such a loser until he met a spiritualist who convince him that in his previous life Bunker Bean was none other than Napoleon. Bunker really bought into this and that belief change and lifted his life to new and wonderful heights. How exactly did that happen?

Well, the day after the spiritualist convinced Bunker of his past life, after he had finished his duties as an assembly line worker, Bunker went directly to the local library and checked out a book on Napoleon Bonaparte. He took it home and stayed up late into the night, reading it cover to cover.

The next day, he returned to the library for another book and stayed up reading that one as well. Then he did that again, day after day, until he had read every book about Napoleon, the emperor of France. Bunker considered and digested everything Napoleon did. He wanted to know exactly what had made Napoleon great. His spiritualist friend had told Bunker that his life was in an ascendancy, so Bunker Bean made a firm resolve to incorporate into his present life some of the qualities that made Napoleon great. His belief in his ascendancy and the power of his previous life was so great that he had no doubt that he could do it. 

He recalled reading that for Napoleon, to think was to act. He went to his supervisor at work and told him of some ideas he had for the company and of the benefits they would bring. 

His superior was skeptical. “It will never work,” he said. 

“Just try then for a few days,” Bunker begged, “and see if they work.” 

The supervisor relented and three weeks later, the cost saving improvements on the assembly line were so great the supervisor was given a raise and a promotion. When the supervisor was asked to recommend his replacement, without hesitation, he suggested Bunker Bean. Within two years, to the amazement of everyone, Bunker Bean was the president of the entire company, which was worth over $100 million. 

And all that happened because Bunker really believed that he was a brilliant and famous man in a previous life. People really believed in him. And why did they believe in him? BECAUSE HE BELIEVED IN HIMSELF!

There is a great lesson here for all of us. If we push ourselves harder to totally believe in ourselves, it really makes a difference in how other people believe in us. Think about that and push yourself to believe in yourself more and more each day, each week, and each year. It will change your life because if you do push yourself, it lifts your mind and your actions follow and that will make you a better person!

The Power of Book Notes

When I read books, I almost always write notes on the blank pages. I jot down a quote that strikes me or I write my own thoughts that were stimulated by what the author wrote. This week, I’d like to share some of my notes from a couple of great books. I hope they strike and motivate you the way they did me.

In Patrice Jenkins PhD’s great little book What Will I Do ALL DAY?, I wrote down a number of thoughts. Here are a few:

1. Structure can be and should be a very important part of our lives and now that I’m retired, I must push myself for more structure.

2. Set more deadlines and make more commitments and goals and always write them down with a time deadline.

3. Set my alarm and schedule time for working out and stretching.

4. Make a big deal out of small things in my life.

5. Remind myself often that, now that I am retired, I have time to turn molehills into mountains.

6. Remember that it’s very important when retired to find work for yourself.

7. Make a list of new places, cities and countries to visit — at least 6 more countries to add to my 94 already visited.

8. Write down my intentions for each and every day.

9. Take time to make a list of those things I love to do and push myself to concentrate on those items.

And here are a few gems I scribbled down when reading the book Write it Down and Make It Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser.

1. Don’t forget that writing down my intentions works better than just speaking them.

2. Remind myself that I can’t have what I want most until I know what it is.

3. Writing is a good way to force my negative emotional reactions into words and not stomach churning.

4. I need to write down my intentions, my passions, my talents, then write down what actions I should, and can, take.

5. I need to take time to write down things that are not working for me in my life and let them go. Klauser ‘s suggested that you make that list then ceremoniously dispose of that paper, as in burn it or bury it.

Do these notes inspire you to make a few of your own now? Taking down notes as you read a book makes it a much more active and, ultimately, more productive read!

Writing Down the Urgent Stuff

Last week I wrote about how important it was to write down your goals, your intentions, your dreams, and your to do lists. Why do that? Because if you do, the odds that you will follow through and complete those tasks and dreams increases big time.

There are many other benefits to writing. If you commit your dreams to paper, or on a document in your computer, for some strange reason, the act of writing your fears and negative thoughts down helps you  deal with those bad thoughts and then you can more easily  overcome them.

So, getting into the habit of not only writing your good dreams and goals down but also those fears and negative feelings we all have, can become a huge asset in your life.

Here’s 17 questions from a list in Ilchi Lee’s wonderful book I’ve Decided to Live 120 Years. Ask yourself these questions and write down the answers.

1. What things have I achieved in my life?
2. When was I most joyful?
3. When were things most trying?
4. How did I overcome hardship in those trying moments, and what did I learn through them?
5. What moments in my life do I regret?
6. When did I do things that made me feel proud and that I found rewarding?
7. What momentary choices became opportunities that changed my life?
8. What values did I try to remain true to throughout my life?
9. What goals have I had so far?
10. What motivated me to establish those goals?
11. Which of my goals have I had so far?
12. Which of my goals have I achieved?
13. Which goals have I failed to achieve?
14. Who has had the greatest impact on my life?
15. With whom have I shared my gratitude?
16. With whom do I have emotional issues that I need to resolve?
17. Which of my habits do I want to keep and develop?

Lee goes on to say, “If possible, write down your thoughts about these questions. Organizing them in writing and not just thinking about them will help you unravel the tangle of thoughts rolling around in your head.”

Like Mr. Lee’s book, Henriette Klauser’s book, Write It down, Make It Happen, makes some of the same points. Klauser likewise emphasizes how absolutely critical it is to get into the habit of writing your goals and dreams down, explaining how, “putting it on paper alerts the part of the brain known as the reticular activating system to join in the play.”

She goes on to explain this mechanism. “At the base of the brain, about the size of a little finger, is a group of cells whose job it is to sort and evaluate incoming data. This control center is known as the reticular activating system (RAS}. The RAS sends the urgent stuff to the active part of your brain and sends the nonurgent to the subconscious. The RAS awakens the brain to consciousness and keeps it alert.”  So, if you write something down, then it becomes the urgent stuff and your brain will keep it accessible to the active part of your mind.

Hope I’m not getting too scientific but knowing all about the RAS and what good it does all of us should be good motivation to keep writing our goals and dreams down. So now we know, when it comes to bad feelings, ideas, or worries, paper is a good place to park those negative mind games.

The Power of Your Written Word

I talk quite a bit about success, but as they say, talk is cheap. Writing, however, can be gold. If you want to be successful, you need to have your intentions in writing, even if you are the only one to see it or read it. Writing down what you are going to do and when you’re going to accomplish it can be, and usually is, a major motivator. It’s as if all the thoughts in your head have become real and concrete. That makes it very hard for you to ignore.

When I write down my goals, plans, and to-do lists, it’s like they take over my brain automatically. Putting your goals in writing forces you to really consider what it is you want because now you have put it in black and white, where it is more concise and easily grasped.

When you do write out your goals, answer all the basics: Who, What, Where, Why, How, and most importantly, WHEN. Include the following details:

-Who’s involved in this project?

-What is the end goal?

-When will you work on this goal?

-Where do you need to go to move it a long?

-Why do you want this?

-What are the details and steps you need to take?

-How will you achieve it?

-When will you achieve it?

The actual questions you need might be a little different but put the answers to those questions down on paper or your computer or cell phone and visit that list often. It’s an even better idea to post it where you will see it every day. When you read those words over and over, they become like a contract, and that’s exactly how you should treat it! Write it all down and then sign it.

Be sure to put your deadline, or deadlines if it’s going to be done in stages, on your written goals. These written goals will really be key to your success. It will be the starting point for your actions, determining the direction you will take.

So, remember this. Never forget the power of the written word and how it can push you to succeed in whatever you are trying to get done. Take one step at a time and keep writing it down. Those written words can, and will, take over.

The Freedom of Structure

I’m reading a great book that my son gave to me, titled What Will I DO All Day, by Patrice Jenkins PHD.  It’s all about retirement and how it can be either a really good thing or something that drives you crazy. And it can all start long before you retire. It may even start from the moment you just begin thinking about what the heck you are going to do when you retire.

Most people think, “Oh, it’s going to be great when I retire. I’ll have all that time to do all those things that I’ve wanted to do but haven’t had time to do.” But when people actually retire, many of us can become very frustrated because, all of a sudden, we don’t have a routine or the structure that a regular job gave us. Now we must set a routine and a structure of our own and that takes some thinking and some work.

So much of what this author talks about that needs to be done also applies to all of us in our daily living long before we even think about retirement, such as setting goals, writing them down, and writing daily “to do” lists. We all know, or should by now, that when we write down a list of things to do the night before, the likelihood of us following through and actually adding action to that list and doing it, increases big time. I’m sure you have seen that happen in your own life.

Patrice has a chapter called “Structure is Freedom”. When we are working full time, structure doesn’t seem like freedom. She tells the story of this one guy by the name of Jim. Jim said, “You have to know what you’re getting up to each day.” Here is what she wrote about Jim and what Jim’s thoughts were:

“When Jim first retired he was looking forward to having his days free to do anything he wanted to do. But, after a few months of this, he told me that he, ‘found it to be more work not to work. My energy level was lower than when I used to work 10 hours a day. The truth is I was puttering around the house most of the day.’

“It was at this point that Jim acknowledged that having more structure in his days would improve life in retirement. He started scheduling appointments, making commitments, and setting deadlines. He decided to set his alarm for 7 a.m. and start each day with exercise. He made a rule to turn the television off by 9 a.m. so that he could start doing something more productive. Jim also volunteered for a couple of organizations which required weekly commitments of his time and talents. He told me these changes gave his life a more focused direction. ‘Now I know what I’m getting up to each morning,’ he said. ‘I really needed the structure to give me the freedom to enjoy retirement.’”

What Jim learned is something we should all focus on and be sure we do it whether we are retired, close to retirement, or many years away from that status. Yes, our full-time jobs give us structure and a routine, but our lives can be, and will be, so much more fulfilled and productive if we set up our own routines and structure totally independent of our jobs. Now that I’m semi-retired I am going to work much harder on my own routines and structure too.

Crossing Out Our Fears

Last week I promised to give you some directions on how to get rid of your fears and, yes, I think we all have some fears that should be dealt with. Elle Luna in her great book, The Crossroads of Should and Must, gives such excellent advice and direction on how to eliminate fears.

The first thing you need to do is be totally honest with yourself and write down your fears, some of which you’ve probably not told anyone about. Those of you who follow my books and blog know that I am a huge believer in the power of writing things down.  When I write down a goal, for example, especially if I include a time line and date for reaching that goal, those written words have huge power over me and push me to deliver on the promise and the goals that I set for myself.  Those written words on the page drive me and won’t let me go until I achieve the goal.

Elle’s advice on writing things down begins with a list. “Grab a piece of paper and write the numbers one through ten on the left side of the page. At the top, title it “What are you so afraid of?” This is your worst-case scenario list. This is your list of fears, ultimate doomsday concerns, and everyone-is-going-to laugh-at-me-and-run-the-other-way scenarios. These are your largest, scariest fears, and you’ve got ten minutes to write them down.”

I really loved the following advice she says right after that–“Now let’s get realistic about these fears. Because often, fears in our mind can be like say–sticky and way difficult to remove. But fears on paper? Tangible, visible.”  This is followed up by a new term for me and one I really love. She asks us to identify and go to work on the fears that are “cross out-able.”

“After you’ve gone through all of your fears,” Elle says, “write a short note or tip next to each line listing one thing–just one–that you can do to loosen that fear’s grip on your life. Get to know these fears intimately because they are the invisible walls that surround you daily. Decide which ones stay and which ones gotta go.  If you are going to live that better, more satisfying life you must follow your ‘musts’ not those ‘shoulds’.”

You see, as you make even a little bit of progress in eliminating a fear you will gain a wonderful feeling of accomplishment and power and writing it down will help you push yourself to eliminate that fear. And never forget that it’s totally ok to approach this by taking baby steps, as Lao-Tzu was quoted as saying, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

 

 

The Easier Way to Reach Your Goals

 

Okay, first of all, there is no particularly ‘easy’ way to reach your goals but there are certainly easier ways and harder ways. Whether your goal is to make a million dollars, write a bestselling book or visit 100 different countries, the easier way to reach those goals includes a very simple thing … making lists. And I don’t mean in your head. I mean writing that list down. Why does writing out a list make reaching a goal easier? Because if you write it down it does some very good stuff inside your brain.

Chapter 7 in Henriette Klauser’s wonderful little book entitled Write It Down, MAKE IT HAPPEN tells the great story of her friend Sydne who turned her life around mainly from the single action of writing down her list of goals. Klauser says, “Writing a list gets it out of your head. Heads can be dark swamps, the conversations, the constant chatter, whatever you want to call it, keeps interfering. Writing a list gets it out of the swamp, onto paper. You can see a list in black and white and it’s real. When you reduce your goals to a list, it helps keep your focus.”

So, if you write your goals it basically changes things in your brain. She goes on to say that if your lists are very specific your brain will more likely help you reach those goals. “When you are vague and general, you are safe. Get to the essence of it; that’s when things happen. Nothing can happen when you’re generalized and safe–nothing changes.” When the writing of those lists put Sydne on the path of reaching virtually all her goals, her motto then became simply “Do it easy.”

The author’s advice is to “use listing as an opportunity to crystallize your intent–to learn what matters most to you.” She goes on to say, “Keep that list handy, and look at it regularly, especially if you lose heart or feel scared. Emblazon it in your mind. Repeat to yourself ‘This is what I want and it is waiting for me.’” Remember, keep your list very specific even for things such as buying a car. As the author says, “Don’t simply write ‘car’, write the type of car with make, model, and mileage.”

I must say that goal setting and writing down the specifics has changed my brain and improved my life in many and huge ways. When I was 27 years old I set the very specific goal to make a million dollars by the time I was 30 and yes I wrote it down and looked at that written goal on a regular basis. I went to work to find ways and means, along with great help from a couple of fantastic mentors, to hit my target. Oops I missed the goal, that is I missed the date by one year but reached it at age 31. Pretty much the same thing happened when I set the written goal to write a bestselling book. That book was How to Wake Up the Financial Genius Inside You which eventually sold over one million copies.

I am absolutely convinced that writing it down did in fact change my brain and made it all happen.  I know that it works and if you are not already writing your specific lists of goals down, I hope you start doing so right now.

 

 

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