The Power of Personal Questioning

Last week I talked about having a great passion and how, especially when you lose that passion, it can be really hard to move forward and chase what you want. The uncertainty and fear and can be such a big hurdle. So, as I promised in my last post, here are some things you can do to move forward.

First of all, doing some writing for yourself can be a huge boost in helping you reach your goals and improve your life. Ask yourself specific questions, like the ones below, then, don’t just think about them. Write down the thoughts that these questions bring up to make them more substantial and harder to ignore.

• Do I want to significantly raise my level of contentment and fulfillment?
• Do I want to become a better person?
• Do I want to be known as a person of accomplishment?
• Do I want to be in great physical and mental shape with ideal health my entire life?
• Do I want to live a very long, active life?
• Do I want to make a fortune—a million dollars, $10 million, or even $100 million? (Just think how much good you could do with that much money!)
• Do I want the increased choices and possibilities in my life that making my own fortune could give me?
• Do I want to leave the world a better place than I found it?
• Do I want to help others as I help myself?
• Do I want to travel and experience the world and its cultures?

Again, write down your honest responses to these self-searching questions. Develop some of your own “life questions” and answer those as well.

If it’s really about the missing passion in your life or because you are feeling unfulfilled, try answering these questions instead of, or in addition to, the ones above.

• What do you have a true passion for in your life?
• What part of your recent or past life—even during your childhood—really got you excited, to the point that you totally lost track of time when involved in it?
• Think about specific things you love and how they make you feel. Do you get excited about music, art, ballet, sports, outdoor adventures, writing, gatherings, social interactions, running your own small business, helping others…?
• What kind of breakthrough would you be ecstatic to have in your life right now? Would it be in the area of health, wealth, personal expression, spiritual development, or something else?
• In what would you love to excel?

Think about all that. You may find, after taking time to really go through all your interests, that you have many unfulfilled passions. Which ones do you get the most excited about?

After all this questioning, take some time to contemplate and think about it, then write down what you believe to be your true, unfulfilled passions.

If you are doing something you are passionate about, there are a few more questions you should ask.

1. Am I actually doing that special something that I have a great passion for?
2. If so, am I doing it for the right reasons?
3. What are those reasons?

Asking questions gives us the opportunity to really come to understand ourselves, what we are thinking, and maybe even what we want. But mostly, asking and writing our thoughts down make them more concrete and can jumpstart a plan to get more out of life, to find or chase a passion you may have been ignoring because you were afraid, uncertain, or just let life distract you.

The new year is just around the corner, so this is the perfect time to define what you want and start in on a plan to make that happen for you so you are living a fulfilling and passionate life in 2023.

Rallying for Passion and Against Fear

I’ve written about turning dreams into reality before and I do think there are lots of things you can do to really make those dreams come to pass in your life. It’s been said that “Lucky are those who have a passion for life, but blessed are those who have passion ALL their life.”

I don’t know about you, but I believe one of the most important keys to staying young, in nearly every way, is to flood my life with passion. For me, that comes from pursuing what I want out of life, really going after my dreams full force, keeping an eye on my priorities, and doing those things that I love to do with all the energy I can muster!

I set very specific and tough goals for myself, and I go after those goals like my life depends on it, because, you know, I really DO believe my life depends on it. When I write those goals down, I am much, much more likely to follow through and reach those goals. You see, I loathe the idea of living a life of insignificance. It’s like wasting the most precious resource in the entire world. A human life. My life!

If you don’t feel the same way, then ask yourself, “Why don’t I know what I want in life?”

That question is particularly bothersome if you once had a great passion for something and then you lost it somewhere along the way. Far too many people give up on life when that happens, fearful of the outcome if they try something else. But they’re losing out on so much more when they don’t try.

Here are 3 common fears that can slow us down or stop us from going after what we really want and dream about. Are one of these stopping you?

1. Fear striking out aggressively in a new direction because we don’t know what it will be like.

2. Fear of taking risks because risks include the possibility of failure.

3. Fear of the possibility, real or imagined, of losing what we have already.

When we give into these fears, we end up just sitting on our hands. We give up on having what we really want and totally miss out on having long-lasting fulfillment and contentment in our lives.

I’ve talked to many very, very successful people that freely admit they had an enormous fear of becoming a total failure, but they pushed themselves forward anyway and, most of the time, they were very successful, despite their great fears!

How did they do that? Well, everyone has their own specific methods, but next week, I’ll give you some ideas on how to push your fears aside and push yourself to go after the things you really want in life.

The Priority Mission

Last week I wrote about my great friend, Paul J Meyer, who was a major contributor to my making millions of dollars. Yes, he was a financial genius that helped thousands and thousands of people make a huge success of their lives. His book is a must read for anyone that wants to lift their lives to huge heights, and not just financially. His book is called Fortune, Family, and Faith—24 Keys That Bring Complete Success.

One area of his life that Paul talked a lot about was how to keep your priorities after you set your goals for various parts of your life. As I promised in last week’s blog, here are the 13 things he committed to in order to stay focused on his priorities. I recommend you use them as well.

1. Write down my priorities.

2. Decide that I will keep my priorities/commit to them.

3. Post my priorities in highly visible places.

4. Start with a very small action each day that reinforces my priorities.

5. Learn to do that small action right away.

6. Refuse to go to bed until I have done what I intended to do.

7. Create visible checklists or tracking systems.

8. Find an accountability partner, someone I can be honest with who will be honest with me.

9. Have picture reminders.

10. Concentrate on the benefits.

11. Review regularly to see if I am on target.

12. Choose to never make excuses.

13. Craft a personal mission statement.

About that last one, Paul felt that a mission statement would also help ensure that your priorities are the right priorities. 

“Writing a life mission statement is quite simple,” he wrote. “You begin writing out your priorities in descending order and then answer the question, ‘What do I want to accomplish in life by keeping my priorities?’ or ‘Why do I have these priorities?’”

Paul also said that “You can keep improving your mission statement as time goes by. By fine-tuning it, you are simultaneously fine-tuning your overall life’s direction.”

Paul emphasizes that “a mission statement is not an exercise to complete and then forget.” As he goes on to note, and as I have seen myself, the mission statement provides things like direction, focus, and consistency in the things you do while keeping you on track with your goals.

There is more about mission statements and other thoughts on priorities in his book 24 Keys That Bring Complete Success. Pick it up and find more great words of wisdom to live by.  

Seek Great People

Many years ago, I read about a guy who started with nothing. He was extremely poor, but his father told him that he could become and accomplish anything he wanted, if he wanted it bad enough. He also discovered a lot about setting goals and keeping motivated, so he really grabbed a hold of what he was observing and pushed himself in all he did. He set goals for himself and put a timeframe on those goals and wrote them down.

Eventually, he turned his life around and later became one of the world’s most influential people in the personal achievement industry. He condensed those hard-learned lessons of life into books from which many people taught others. Seeing this, he also put his knowledge on 12-inch LPs and then on 8-track tapes and then, as technology progressed, onto cassettes, CDs and DVDs. He sold more than 2 billion dollars’ worth of those great reprinted and rerecorded motivational and goal setting directions and information.

In my younger years, I followed this man’s work and got very interested in him as a person, so I went after him. Yes, eventually, I got to meet him and know him very well. We even took trips together to places like the Grand Cayman Islands. He came to Salt Lake City and met my wife and me at our home. During that time, I followed his example and what I learned from his tapes helped me make a huge financial leap in my income, up into the millions. This wonderful man was Paul J. Meyer.

Yes, there were other people who have done astounding stuff in the financial arena who also helped me. That was because I would seek out and find those people who have accomplished big things in my field. So, in my personal experience, you should go out and get to know the people who have hit it big time in your area of interest by reading any written works or stories of theirs and, yes, push and push until you get to meet them. Then spend all the time you can with them and pick their brains. Most of these super successful people do like to share and help others do what they did. Yes, I’m saying just go do it!

There is so much more I want to share with you about Paul J. Meyer that I learned through his book Fortune, Family, and Faith. He gave me a copy of that book and signed it with a very nice note back on August 4th, 2008, the year before he passed away.

Next week I want to share more of what I learned from this great man, like his list of 13 ways of how to keep your priorities, which is just one of many treasured lessons he has to teach us all.

Finding Joy in the Journey

I don’t really like the saying, “No pain, no gain.” It’s not that I don’t believe the struggle can be worthwhile—the struggle is what makes most gains so very fulfilling—but the idea that in order for us to reach a goal it must be painful seems, to me, to say that enjoying yourself means you’re goofing off and not trying hard enough. Our society glamorizes the painful struggle in popular media and, although it makes great drama, it does not give us a realistic view of how we could, or should, live our lives and achieve our goals.

Chances are you will spend many hours and days, if not weeks, months, or years, working towards the big goals in your life. So, the question becomes, why would you choose to spend so much of your life suffering to reach a future goal? The path you walk to achieve your goal should have some level of enjoyment in it. It might not be a constant joy, but joy should be a consistent enough part of it to keep you going.

For instance, if you are flipping houses to build your wealth but hate every minute you spend searching for the right property, fixing it up, and talking to buyers, why do it? If what you really enjoy is entertaining people, you can work towards amassing wealth by going big in the entertainment world. It might take longer or be harder to build wealth that way (but then again, it might not) but no matter how long it takes or what trials you go through, you will probably enjoy getting your name out and searching for those big gigs. When you’re spending so much time and energy on something that it becomes what your life is about, you really ought to enjoy it!

Our society tends to focus too much on the end goal itself, even to the point of drilling into us that happiness is something that we reach in the future, or even in the next life. But happiness can, and should, be yours now. You can find great enjoyment and satisfaction in pushing yourself and being challenged in almost anything—it’s really up to you and how you look at a situation. But it’s also wise to find something that keeps your interest and makes you jump out of bed every morning, excited to get back into the life you’ve made for yourself.

So, save your “no pain, no gain” moments for those little jobs we must do to continue doing what we love. Like those few hours you need to prepare your taxes correctly or those last few reps at the gym. But don’t let it be about large chunks of your life and what you do every day. Be happy now. Enjoy the whole of your life including the journeys you take, not just what your life will be when you reach your goals.

Contentment is in the Right Now

There are so many things in our lives that we view as priorities — many, many things. There are obvious ones like getting an education, finding a good job, staying in good health, and taking care of the ones you love, including parents, siblings, your spouse, kids, grandkids, and friends. And you want to be sure you have time and energy to pursue the things you love in life as well.

All those things are so important and critical to a good life and even a great life. But many of those items can be thrown off track if we lack contentment and satisfaction. And, I think, there’s one big thing that gives us great contentment — living in the “right now”.

Of course, it can be very difficult, if not impossible, for us to always “live in the now”. Our busy lives distract us, causing us to worry and contemplate what’s coming next. But, I think, our greatest contentment and satisfaction comes from living in the now, so it’s important to make that a priority, too. Luckily, there are easy ways to help us spend more of our mind time living in those right now moments.

• On a regular basis, ask yourself, “Am I at ease at this moment and living in the now?”
• Visit the future but don’t stay there. Keep coming back to the right now.
• Visit the past but don’t bring back any regret or guilt.
• Make a habit of monitoring your mental and emotional state through self-observation.
• When you are stressed, stop, pause, take a big deep breath and count in your mind. That’s right. Just count numbers. You can start at 1 and count to 500 or start at 100 or 500 and work backwards. Then refocus on living in the now.
• Buddha said, “The root of suffering is found in our constant wanting and craving…” so let’s all work at reducing our wanting and craving so aren’t as anxious and can be more present.

Of course, living in the now should be a priority, but you also want to prioritize those things that require planning. The question is, how do you stay in the moment while planning, dreaming, goal setting, and doing all those things that help you get what you want out of life?

Well, you can go ahead and set future plans, dreams and goals, but once they are determined, write them down. That way, when you don’t need them, you can physically set them aside until you want to work on them or need reminders to keep focused. So, as you see, it’s not that you can’t think about the past or the future, but rather that you need to be aware of how much you do think about things that are not part of the moment you are living right now.

Awareness of what your mind is doing is a big part of living in the right now moment. When you are aware of what your mind is doing, you can steer it back to the right now after you give yourself the time to plan future things or momentarily ponder the past. Once you have, try to become totally absorbed in what you are doing, thinking, or being right now and enjoy the contentment that comes with it.

Reset for Aging

I’ve been thinking a lot about this thing they call aging recently, especially since I am moving in on that big number 80. 

Last year my son gave me a book on my birthday called Successful Aging by Daniel J. Levitin that I’ve really enjoyed. Then the other day I came across two other aging articles. One was in the March issue of the AARP Bulletin titled, “The Answer to Age Related Weight Gain” and the other was titled “100 Ways to Live to 100” found on the website HuffPost, which I had read before. Combined, they really got me thinking.  

Since I have only 11 years before I hit 90 and, even worse, just 21 years until I come up on 100, I really studied those ideas and instructions that I thought would help me make the most of my life as well as those that would help me live the longest. It’s given me a lot of great things to focus on. 

I will never forget that French lady Jeanne Calmet who lived an active 122 years and 164 days, living on her own until 110. Or the Russian woman, Nanu Shaova, who lived to a record 127 years. These ladies prove that a long, meaningful life is possible. 

A new book, The Whole Body Reset by AARP, Stephen Perrine, and Heidi Skolnik, has a lot of great advice about how to preserve muscle at age 50 and above, such as…

• Eat at least 30 grams of protein at every meal
• Eat colorful fruits and vegetables
• Try strength training

That’s just a few of the great suggestions in this book that have to do with successful aging and living a better life. 

And here are just a few of the “100 Ways to Live to 100″ from that HuffPost article I came across again recently: 

1. Find a purpose for life

2. Walk a lot

3. Be happy

4. Do unto others 

5. Practice yoga

6. Be optimistic

7, Go meatless

8. Eat your fiber

9. Make healthy changes in your life starting today

10. Don’t dread getting older

There’s a lot of food for thought here. I’ll add to that list next week as well, but in the meantime, work with some of these suggestions. You can never start too early to improve your chances of a long, meaningful life. 

Never Stop Asking

Here’s a great question that all of us should ask ourselves: What do I really want out of life?

If you seriously want to improve your life, spend some intense time thinking and meditating on what your life has been in the past and what you want it to be in the future. Doing so can, and will, lift your mind and body to a new and higher level. This will raise the success and satisfaction in your life over and above any material success or other success you derive from going after your goals.

Hinduism tells us that every human being wants four things:

1. Pleasure

2. Success.

3. Responsible discharge of duty.

4. Liberation.

It’s up to you to determine what each of these things means in your life, but you do want to ask yourself if you’re achieving some version of these in a way that adds to the happiness and quality of your life.

Regularly examining our life helps us keep on track and reevaluate what we’re presently doing. Here is a great list of questions that we all should all ask ourselves on a regular basis.

1. Do you want your life to be just another life?

2. Do you want to be average?

3. Do you want to make a difference in this world?

4. Does accomplishment mean a lot to you?

5. Do you want to become a better you, a better person?

6. Do you want to be in great physical and mental shape with ideal health your entire life?

7. Do you want to live a very long, active life?

8. Do you want to make a fortune—a million or ten million or even 100 million dollars?

9. Do you want your own fortune so you’d have more choices in your life?

10. Do you want to leave the world a better place than you found it?

11. Do you want to help others as you help yourself?

12. Do you want to travel and experience the entire world and its cultures?

13. Do you want to substantially raise your level of contentment and fulfillment?

Going over this list and thinking of all I could do if I just focused on what I truly wanted raised my mind and feelings to a new high level. I hope that it does the same for you!!

Big Dreams Take Bold Courage

Back in 1983, I wrote a book called The Courage to Be Rich. It really does take a lot of courage to make big time money. Truthfully, it takes courage to accomplish big dreams in almost any field, but being rich was my big dream and I made it happen.

Deciding I wanted to be rich and grabbing what fame I could along the way was a dream of mine from when I was pretty young. It was rarely easy, and I had some big-time struggles. Still, I kept at it and was able to accomplish my goals by staying courageous.

Thinking about this recently, I went back and read through some things I had written back in those days. I can easily see how much I preached to myself and how very hard I pushed myself to make big things happen. I also realized that I helped many people along the way by writing and speaking publicly. I sold millions of books and appeared on tons of national tv shows, including one with Tom Brokaw.

I’ve written so much and many of those words still give me energy and lots of ideas to keep me writing. I also still love to share my thoughts on what works for me, as I have seen how that sharing has helped so many, many other people.

Here are a few words on courage I wrote those many years ago:

“Courage is going against the odds, against popular opinions. It’s doing what most people are unwilling to do because of the criticism and flak they know they will receive from family, friends, or even strangers. Courage is living your life for you. It’s setting you own rules and policies and taking full responsibility when you fail or stumble. It’s resisting other people’s attempted manipulations of you. Courageous people do not accept all traditions, conventional wisdom, or pat answers without close scrutiny and severe questioning.”

Ok, I know this blog was short, but I am in Kauai and having too much fun! Next week I’ll share with you the 13 keys to success!

Don’t Kill Your Dreams

Over the last few decades, the amount of information we are exposed to daily has increased dramatically. But for all that abundance, we don’t necessarily get a clear picture of what is going on in the world. Most of the news we hear is highly negative, overly dramatic, and designed to inspire fear. So, it doesn’t surprise me that many people are afraid to take risks and go after their big dreams.

However, right now is exactly the time you need to jump in with both feet. Yes, even in the middle of all this economic uncertainty and our unprecedented times. You just need to believe in yourself. If you have that, all else will follow.

I started investing in real estate in 1972, in the middle of the worse recession in the US since the great depression. Fortunately, I didn’t know that and, even if I did, it probably wouldn’t have made a difference because I really believed that I could succeed.

Sure enough, not only did I not lose my shirt, I became a millionaire. That recession didn’t stop me and these crazy times shouldn’t stop you. Not believing in yourself and taking immediate action is the only thing that is guaranteed to kill your dreams.

Remember, all you need to worry about is your life, what you need, what you want, and know that if you keep working at it, you will get what you’re after. If your dreams are that important to you, you will want them bad enough to do whatever it takes. And no fear filled news story should get in your way.

So, turn off the TV, stop reading those dramatic posts, and unsubscribe from all those pessimistic newsletters. Instead, read up on all the great success stories you can find on-line, in responsible and inspiring periodicals, and in books like my classic, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. The most amazing stories of success are most often accomplished by ordinary people who simply have an extraordinarily strong belief in themselves and what they want. And there is no reason why you can’t be one of them.

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