The Missing 777 and Overcoming Fear

Have you heard anyone say recently that they are not going to take any trips by airplane, because of fear since the 777 Jet went missing?  I’ve only heard one person allude to that, but I’ll be watching to see if airline ticket sales drop because of the fear factor since the Malaysian jet disappeared.

Fear is a very interesting human reaction hooked to so many things in our lives.  Much of the time it has little or no basis to reality or logic.  As you may know the fear of flying is one of the more common human fears although it is statistically extremely safe.  If you were to choose, at random, a commercial flight every single day for the rest of your life, guess how long it would be (statistically) before you got on an airplane that crashed? And, drum roll …would you believe it would take 19,000 years? Yes, that’s right, nearly 7 million flights/days until your statistical chance would be up!  I’ve talked to many people and gave them these numbers and they are STILL afraid of flying.  They know the numbers but their fear trumps the facts.

Fear holds so many people back from fulfilling their big dreams and goals for what are often illogical reasons. Many years ago I wrote a book titled The Courage to be Rich. In my book I talk a great deal about using “courage” to overcome fear.  Building up your courage to be rich, to give a speech to 1000 people, to write a book, to travel to a distant and strange new country or to be super successful in anything  requires you to identify what fears are holding you back and replacing those fears with positive thoughts and actions.

One of my favorite tricks or ways I overcome fear is to use the IGDS philosophy.  Quoting from my Courage to be Rich book, “What is IGDS?  It is accepting the truth that “I’m Going to Die Someday”……so why not really live life now?  Why not really go for it? What have you got to lose?”   I am not saying you should take wild crazy, life threatening risks but I am saying to face your fears and go after what you want with all you energy, zest and strength. Take some calculated risks realizing that you’re going to die some day and you don’t want  to have to say to yourself what Henry David Thoreau said many years ago, “Oh God, to have reached the point of death, only to find that you have never lived at all.”

 

Asking for Courage

In last week’s blog I promised I would give you my definition of  ‘Courage’ so that we can look into what it can mean to you and how you live your life.

Courage is going against the odds or against popular opinion.  It’s doing what most people are unwilling to do because of the criticism and lack of support they know they will receive from family, friends, or even strangers.  Courage is living your life for you.  It’s setting your own rules and policies and taking full responsibility when you fail or stumble. It’s resisting other people’s attempted manipulations of you.

Courageous people do not accept traditions, conventional wisdom, or pat answers without close scrutiny and severe questioning.

I came up with that definition in 1983 when I was 39 years old,   for my book The Courage to be Rich and I think it holds true today.  (Side note … Susan Orman used that title later for her own book which I found out, to my disappointment, is totally legal.) But sometimes it’s hard to know what you are accepting without question or not. So let’s ask ourselves a few questions.

Before reading this list of questions that can help build your courage, let me suggest you make a list of the areas in your life that you might want to focus on, areas you think would benefit from a big dose of courage.

Did you write those down? Good. Now, ask yourself,  Do I want to have …

The courage to be rich?

The courage to be famous?

The courage to be the very best in my field?

The courage to be super generous?

The courage to be super healthy?

The courage to be totally physically fit?

The courage to write a great book or give super speeches?

The courage to love and be loved without conditions?

The courage to help others to the max?

The courage to win at the game of life?

This is not a complete list. If you have other things you want or think you want, add them. And keep asking yourself, what do you want courage for?

It is not just a matter of asking yourself about your courage. You have to act in a courageous way. Here are a few keys items to help you obtain and keep that courage.

1.  At first take small steps in areas that you want to build courage, especially if you have great fears.

2.  Repeat those small steps over and over again.

3.  Slowly begin to take larger steps.

4.  Use plenty of “self-talk” or “positive affirmations” and always be aware of what your internal voice is saying so you can direct it towards your positive courage goals.

5.  Involve allies to help you stay on course.  Be sure to pick those that will fully support your objectives and goals.

7.  Practice confronting your fears and then analyze the reasons for those fears.

One last thought….I just read this line in a novel and thought that it was very profound……”The more you learn, the less you fear.” Arm yourself with knowledge, primarily the knowledge that you can and will face and overcome your fears.

 

The Gift of Appreciation

What a great time of the year this is!  It’s a season of celebrations with family and friends with all that wonderful music that usually brings back many special memories.  To me, though, it’s mostly about giving. Okay, yes, as a kid it was mostly about receiving but that was a very long time ago!

Giving returns so many super wonderful feelings in such a big way to the giver, sometimes to the point that the giver feels guilty for getting such great feelings as a reward.  Just yesterday I experienced that twinge of guilt after I had done a very small thing.

As I came out of a mall I saw two young ladies, probably in their  early to mid-20’s, sitting on a little wall taking a break from one of the shops that obviously worked at in the mall.  As I walked by I handed each of them a 2 dollar bill, saying “This is for luck. Don’t spend it.  Just keep it for luck.”  I usually give these to kids between 6 and 8 years old and watch their excited reaction and joy.  It is one of my favorite giving things to do. But I guess in this case, since I was struck by the season of giving we are in, I handed these to the young ladies without thinking.  Both girls said “Oh, I’m sorry I can’t accept this,” and I replied, “Give it to a kid and watch the big smile on their face.”

Reluctantly they accepted.  Then they began to thank me as if I’d given them $100 dollar bills.

As I started to walk away they asked, “Hey, where are you from?” and I said “Oh, I’m from here but I grew up in the Middle East, in the country of Turkey.” And then, of course, I had to lay a little Turkish on them, what little I remember. One of the girls surprised me by answering back in Arabic (the two languages have a lot of common words) and then they explained they were from Israel and they’d learned a little Arabic. So we had something in common.

As I walked toward my car I began thinking how their great appreciation for my very small gift made me feel so good.  I realized that “appreciation” is really a gift too and often a big and glorious gift.  Feeling a little connected to these young ladies and warmed by their great appreciation and friendliness, I got in my car and drove back to where they sat, giving both of them a copy of my latest book. Wow … talk about receiving a huge gift back! Their appreciative words and genuine feelings absolutely overwhelmed me.  You would have thought I’d given them a million dollars–calling me an angel from heaven and thanking me to the point that their appreciation was almost embarrassing.

What did I really take away from this experience though?  I realized that the biggest gifts any of us can give are not objects or anything you can put a price tag on, but gifts of love and appreciation. These things, without a doubt, last longer than any gift wrapped present. At this special time of year let’s all try to give more and return more with our sincere appreciation!!

Balancing Big Goals with Small Steps

Last August I wrote a blog titled “The Biggest Leap is the Small step of Getting Started“. In that blog I said a good way to stick with a particular tough goal is to kind of trick yourself by saying, “Ok, I might not be in the mood to do this right now so I think I will just spend 5 minutes with this project,” and all the time you know that there is a very good chance once you start the project you probably will keep going beyond the 5 minutes.  I know this sure works for me when I don’t feel like climbing on the stair master or the elliptical or any other exercise I know that I should do.

The “small step” method really does help a person stick with their goals, so I was somewhat bothered when I re-read my blog of November 2012 and looked at the huge printed sign that I had reproduced in the blog that said “Set a goal SO BIG that you can’t achieve it until YOU GROW INTO THE PERSON WHO CAN”.  I began to question myself for putting that quote on my blog.  Here’s why I question myself now, at least to a degree:  You see, if you set your goal way too high, your goal may scare you and you may begin thinking “There is just no way I can achieve something so big.” But I do believe there is a way around the problem that can allow you to set huge goals and be able to achieve them.

The great thing about setting big goals is that they can stimulate and excite our brains and body to keep pursuing what we set out to do. So, although it’s important for the brain to set big goals, the trick is to not set them so big that deep inside your mind you really feel you could never achieve them.

The real key here–and there is research to back this up–is to set the big goals that excite you to action then put aside that big picture and think about and work on the small daily or hourly goals that give you many small steps of achievement towards that big goal.  Keep telling yourself that you only have to reach “today’s goals” and remind yourself how good that is making you feel.

To quote David DiSalvo from his great book What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite, “The happy brain tends to focus on the short term.  That being the case, it’s a good idea to consider what short-term goals we can accomplish that will eventually lead to accomplishing long-term goals.”

I’ve been doing just that lately.  I concentrate on just today or, sometimes, just this hour or minute and for the most part I try to totally forget my big goal. That usually gives my brain plenty of rewards and comfort.

Next week I will give what I think is the perfect example for losing weight–since it is the time of year that most people do the opposite—and when you read it, keep in mind you’ll do this one small, easy step at a time.

Delegate to Expand Your World

Last week I wrote about the power of delegation and how it can greatly magnify and expand your world whether it’s business or social or charitable.  Your first thought may be “wait a minute I don’t have a staff of workers to delegate to and I certainly don’t have the extra money to hire anyone, so how can I do it?”

The good news is you don’t need a staff or an assistant and you don’t need to hire anyone.  There are literally millions of people out there that are willing and able to take on tasks for other people and even do it for free.

Just look around and you will see people everywhere working hard for something they believe in but aren’t getting paid for.  You see it in folks that work for the PTA, for churches, little league baseball–soccer and football, boy scouts and girl scouts and even in demanding positions like apartment and condo association presidents and their directors.

Your task, if you want to expand your world, is to do a lot of work thinking and planning to find and pick good dependable people that are qualified and have natural talents fit for the tasks you give them.

Anything that takes up your time that you wish you didn’t have to do, can be delegated to all kinds of people directly around you as well. As your kids, grand kids, spouses, friends and neighbors. If you are asking them to do something for you and that something is their passion and they are really good at it, there is a very good chance they will do it and happily. These will greatly expanding your list of delegatee.

I am not saying that it is easy.  Thinking and planning can be hard work but again the rewards and the great expansion of your life can be well worth the efforts.  It’s fascinating to study the lives of many great business and civic leaders and see how they started with a small group of people that worked for nothing or very small compensation because they were totally turned on by the project that they were working on together. It’s all about finding what things people do that makes them happy and allowing yourself to let them gain more joy by doing these things for you!

The Biggest Leap is the Small Step of Getting Started

Last week I spoke about the key to reaching your goals–taking small but regular steps towards what you want. The reason this works is because the small steps seem so do-able while the big leaps can feel overwhelmingly huge. Giving yourself just one small step at a time makes your tasks less daunting and you are more likely not just to start them but complete them!

For example, I apply this concept to my daily work outs to push myself to get them done. On the many days that I don’t want to climb on the stair master or put time in on the elliptical machine or go on a challenging mountain hike, I make a little deal with myself. I say, “Ok, since I am very tired or in the wrong mood I am only going to work out for just 5 or 10 minutes” Then, with only that minimal time to cover, I begin, knowing in the back of my mind that just “starting” is sometimes the very hardest part and knowing from experience that when I get to 5 or 10 minutes I will almost always just keep going.

This approach works for just about anything. I put myself in this mindset of just starting with a small goal to get myself going on my daily business tasks (especially since I really don’t have to work if I don’t want to), to the writing of this blog, or even working on a new book. Always keep in mind that just the “starting” can push you to make that big breakthrough on any project or goal that you have. Take that first step and you will see that the next steps follow more easily not to mention you will have the momentum of already working on it to keep you moving forward.

So what are you dreading doing today? Just set a small goal to get you started and see where that takes you. Daily small steps, daily small goals, even daily small acts of kindness and charity tend to compound and grow to be huge successes and can change your history, your life, make you famous or make you a fortune and even change, for the better, the history of the world. You’ll just never know what you can affect until you start!

 

The Big Goal Boost

Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a huge believer in setting goals. Of course that’s the major them of my book How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. Goal setting grabbed my attention in a very big way even back when I was in high school.

As a pole vaulter then and in college my goals were in feet and inches. As soon as I reached a certain height, I would set a new goal a few inches higher–from 10 feet 6 inches to 10 feet 9 inches then 11 feet. After a ton or work, trying over and over again, I finally was consistently clearing 12 feet and eventually I peaked out at 14 feet 1 inch. Back then, in 1962, the world record was just over 16 feet, so I wasn’t doing too badly. But, no, I didn’t set the world record. Still setting those goals kept me completely engaged and excited about life. Such physical, self-competitive goals aren’t the only goals that can do that for you. Just about any goal will do that for you if it’s something you really want.

To get that jazzed feeling every day, be sure to constantly set goals for yourself. It will keep you passionate about your life and living and of course there is a Big Bonus in that you end up accomplishing so many things. So my message this week is push yourself to set more goals, and tough goals, in all parts of your life –physical, mental, family, charitable and, yes, don’t forget financial goals. I promise you as you do this you will enjoy each hour and each day more.

By the way, as you may already know, it helps to tell people that are close to you (as long as they are positive people) what goals you have set for yourself because when you know they are watching, you are more likely to stick with them and they also can act as a cheer leader for you. I myself have been sharing with you my goal of working out every day until I turned 70 and just knowing I told you about that makes even more dedicated. I just can’t let you down.

So you know. I am still on track with that goal which is 46 weeks from now. I was sick one day last week and hurt my back on another day but I still got a work out  in. Yes it hurt physically but, wow, I sure got a huge mental boost from sticking with my goal! That’s 83 out of 84 days that I have kept up my work outs. Pretty good! Now, what goal do you have?

The Secret to a Great, Happy, and Productive Life

You can greatly enhance your life no matter what age you are by doing something very, very simple. What is this simple cost free secret? Well, it’s not so much a secret as something most of us forget about and stop doing as we age. I am talking from personal experience, especially now as I am nearing the BIG 70!!

Ok, so what the heck is this big secret?  It’s simply “Action.” That’s right it’s Action and Movement. It’s getting up off your butt both physically and mentally.  Deepak Chopra and Rudolph E. Tanzi in their wonderful book Super Brain give some very powerful evidence that physical exercise and movement along with environment enhancement stimulates the growth of new neurons. And this happens at any age!

You, no doubt, have experienced a big lift in your mood, on days you were kind of of feeling down and out, by merely taking a walk or even just getting up from watching TV and taking a drive in the country or through your own or a new neighborhood.  I know if I push myself to take even a short hike in the mountains or on the beach it gives my brain a huge mood boost. Ditto by doing a few push-ups, sit ups or jumping on the stair master for 15 or 20 minutes

There is a great quote in “Super Brain” that I love. It says it all–“Inertia is depression’s best friend.”  Simple but true.

So, remember, action is the KEY!  Keep moving and make a point to do so every day.  Let me give you just a few of the benefits you’ll get from being active.And  I hope you will add to this list the things you’ve learned from your own experience.

BENEFITS OF ACTION AND MOVEMENT—

• Feeling increasingly better the more you stay in motion- and that is for physical and mental activity.
• Getting a whole bunch of stuff done—financially, socially, spiritually, helping others, etc.
• Overcoming depression and bad moods without drugs.
• Losing weight.
• Staying in shape and having overall better health.
• Helping others by your example.
• Slowing the aging process.
• Increasing brain cells and brain activity.
• Greatly reducing the chance of dementia.

Do think about action and movement and please challenge yourself to do more in that direction. You’ll see how much difference it makes to your happiness, your mood and your satisfaction in your life.

Writing Down Your Goals

Since we’ve just started a new year I must say something about renewing and re-dedicating ourselves to our life goals. And there is one super strong and time proven aid I would strongly suggest you use to increase your odds of hitting your goals. It’s something I talk about in my book “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living” but I have another source to show you just how powerful it can be.

For Christmas my son David gave me a book called “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg and WOW what a great book. Duhigg relies on scientific studies to dissect what it takes to form a new habit or dump a habit that you don’t like. In future blogs I want to talk more about “The Power of Habit” but for now I want to address one simple but profound Scottish study that is Duhigg addresses.

In this study a psychologist recruited 60 patients that just had hip or knee replacement surgery. Having personally experienced double hip replacement in the same surgery I know just how painful this kind of surgery can be. Most people don’t want to even move afterward, let alone start walking even though their rehabilitation requires it. This psychologist gave each patient a booklet after their surgeries that detailed their rehab schedule, and in the back were 13 additional pages –one for each week–with blank spaces and instructions:

“My goals for this week are ________________? Write down exactly what you are going to do. For example, if you are going to go for a walk this week, write down where and when you are going to walk.”

Patients were asked to fill in each of those pages with specific plans. After their rehabilitation period the psychologist compared the recovery results of those that filled out the pages and those that did not. Duhigg notes that “It seems absurd to think that giving people a few pieces of blank paper might make a difference in how quickly they recover from surgery.” But it did. Those patients that wrote down their goals recovered much faster than those who didn’t write down a thing.

The great lesson and a lesson that I’ve preached to myself and others for years is we greatly improve our chance of success many times over if we simply write our goals down!  Financial goals, physical goals, family and social goals … it works on all of them. I would also add that you shouldn’t forget to put down the date by which you want to accomplish those goals.

You can read more about goal setting and how written goals can help you in my book  “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living” which is on sale right now on my website.

Our Nation’s Opportunity

I think most of us are all thrilled that the election is over. So much talk and spinning and of course the endless political ads can drive a person crazy. Not to mention those all too often mean-spirited personal attacks on Obama and Romney. So of course, there will be some skewed views about our President that will persist for a while if not until the end of his term but that kind of focus won’t do our nation any good.

What can we do to put the bad taste of the election behind us and move towards a positive future? To start with, we all need keep focused on what needs to be done. I would like it if you would click on this link and read this very interesting, and I think very accurate, article on the outcome and who we really elected as president.

The problem with most of the hostile messages I read was that they were long on sweeping generalizations and very short on specific facts.  I know there is a grand hope that is shared by the majority of Americans–that now with the election over, perhaps the two sides will act like adults and do what politics is all about. That being an opportunity to come to a compromise so that we can keep our slow recovery on track.

Our leaders need to realize they represent ALL OF US whether we voted for them or not, whether we are Democratic, Republican Independent or undeclared. This is not about competition. It’s about our country.

I hope you get something out of the attached editorial and maybe even share it with friends whether they were for or Obama or  not.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/opinion/55227958-82/obama-republican-bush-tax.html.csp

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