Inspiration for Change from Across the Sea

Since December of last year, the Middle East has been in turmoil, unrest growing from grumbling to full scale rebellion all across the region. Protesters of these countries commonly cite the inspiring events that occurred in the small Mediterranean country of Tunisia whose citizens were the first to drive actual and dramatic governmental change in the region through demonstrations and protests.

I have to say it’s been impressive, as well as painful, to watch. But this is what change is. It causes pain as well as elation. It topples the familiar and even comfortable status quo while presenting all the wonderful possibilities it brings. It wrecks some, if not all of what was built previously to clear ground to build up for new lives, practices, and dreams.

I know the trials these people are going through in the Middle East make many of our struggles seem insignificant. But they are OUR struggles and if the people in Egypt, Yemen, Jordan, Bahrain, Libya, and the many other countries all over the world fighting against oppression and corruption can bravely move forward with their momentous tasks, we really should be able to pull together enough courage to move forward with the goals we’ve set for ourselves. Tunisia’s circumstance may not relate to our own exactly, but their passion and determination can be an inspiration to enact the change we know we need in our own lives.

The Power of Shared Ideas

While reading “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle for about the 4th time recently, I found layers of understanding in his comments and thoughts on overcoming “mental pain” such as depression, rage, anger, impatience and bad moods, that I hadn’t seen before. We often don’t quite understand information we are reading if we haven’t had, or are not dealing with, the kind of experiences it speaks to. So why did this information all of a sudden mean more to me than it had the other times I read the book? Because this time, I was dealing with a problem that these words speak directly about.

I’ve been reading, thinking, and studying this book and similar material on a much deeper level because of recent moods I’ve been in, some being a fairly hefty depression. As I mentioned in the last post, being a public speaker and looked to as an expert of sorts, it has been somewhat difficult to admit to others, or even to myself, that I have had this kind of a challenge and problem. I am the one who should have all the answers and live the perfect life, right? Well, it doesn’t matter who you are, you will deal with unwanted and even paralyzing moods sometimes. But you can approach these like any problem or goal—by taking it on step by step.

Finding the steps to get you through a rough time might be the hardest part. Years ago I developed a list of “7 Non-drug Ways to Overcome Depression” but reading Tolle’s book at this time, when the ideas are so poignant are for me, has lead me to a major breakthrough and the power of these ideas have been on my mind.

Although I am no expert in the area of psychological well-being, I think sharing my experiences and the inspirational information I’ve found could be helpful to some of you. So over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting about what I’ve done that has helped me. If you are dealing with depression, anger or mood swings right now, you may want to pick up a copy of Tolle’s “The Power of Now” and see if what he has to say doesn’t hit home for you as well.

Embracing What We Cannot Change

There were so many awe-inspiring, extraordinarily beautiful, and even startling sights during our recent trip to the Asia. But one of the oddest things—or at least one that really struck me—was the incongruous vision of Buddhist monks walking around the temple areas, looking down as they went, at something we are all very familiar with yet would not expect to see at a Buddhist temple–cell phones! Yes, these monks, ages anywhere from, (would you believe) 8 or 9 years old to 80 or 90 years old—were walking and texting or talking on that very, modern invention.

It didn’t seem to fit at all and it took a while to get somewhat used to seeing the simple Buddhist ways combined with modern technology. Didn’t Buddhist traditionally renounce conventional living? But it occurred to me after a while, that they also attach great importance to community and isn’t keeping in touch part of that? And then there’s the Buddhist philosophy of “if you can’t change something then accept it”. And I’ve been thinking about that particular outlook on and off ever since then.

It’s really a very important idea, one that we should all make a part of our lives. Whether it’s a simple thing like not getting upset at standing in line or being in a huge traffic jam or the heart-breaking circumstance of dealing with the illness or death of a loved one, we need to focus on accepting what we cannot change. Fighting it by getting angry, depressed, or taking any other destructive or non-constructive path will not make it better and often leads to more unhappiness.

I know it’s easy to say, accept it and let it go or embrace it, and much harder to act on that idea. But if there is any time of the year that would make it easier to try and live by this philosophy, it must be now, during the holiday season when forgive and forget, be of good cheer, and learning to see that it’s “A Wonderful Life” is being preached and practiced all around us. So, let’s all think about that and put it into action in our lives and I promise that we will all feel so much better.

A Happy Holiday to you and yours.

Living in Karma

While visiting various people in Nepal and Bhutan we were told repeatedly by both Hindu and Buddhist how they strongly believed in Karma—the concept that there is a fundamental law of nature that rewards or punishes a person because of their “thoughts, words and actions” in this life and sometimes in the next life. In my opinion, this belief system is more sensible than the common Western religious focus on a reward or punishment you’ll receive in the hereafter. With Karma, the focus is on what you can do to make your life, and the lives of those around you, better now, in the life you’re presently living.

We saw the results of this belief many times through the wonderful actions of the people in both Nepal and Bhutan. We actually ended up in a light-hearted disagreement with our very friendly and funny cab driver, Mr. Pandey, while he drove us around in Kathmandu. The issue was how much we would pay him for driving us around all day. We were trying to pay him more and he was demanding less–bet that doesn’t ever happen in New York City!

I think Mr. Pandey truly understood the value of karma and how what he did now would come back to him in this life. I’m sure that thought was what motivated him. What he probably didn’t know, was that his generosity also encouraged the creation of the brain chemicals dopamine and serotonin which gives a major boost to our sense of well-being and fulfillment. (I talk a lot about this in chapter 12 of “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. See on page 145 in particular). I’d guess Buddha was a bit of a scientist way back in the 5th century BC, even if he didn’t know exactly what the ‘energy’ that flowed through a good and generous person was.

Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone believed in, and acted on, the concept of Karma? I believe we all need to think more about Kama so our thoughts, words and actions help the world and ourselves now and maybe not think so much about our rewards in the next life. Because if there is an afterlife, there would be no better measure of a person than how well they lived each and every day of this one.

Driving (and Living) Lessons

It’s amazing how much one can get out of visiting other countries. Not only are there the constant novel experiences but there is also so much to learn from their habits and cultures. I have now been to 74 countries and even lived in Turkey from 1959 to 1961 where I attend high school. But even so, every country is a surprise, a wonder, and a new lesson, opening my eyes to so many new and varied visions of life and living.

One thing that stood out while walking and being driven in the heavy, crazy traffic of Kathmandu was how the culture and habits of the people there differed so very much from our own. We saw so many near misses between cars and pedestrians, watched our drivers and others being regularly cut off by wildly driven vehicles, and heard so many, many horns. I mean Kimberly, I, and my two daughters, Nichol and Cammy, came within an inch or two of being hit by motorcycles as well as cars. It was quite scary at first but amazingly you get used to it. It’s just how it is there. Back home in Utah, if any of those things happened you most likely would get an angry look or get flipped off while in some other cities in the U.S. you even might get shot.

However, in India and Nepal, people never seem to get upset or mad at the honking, getting cut off, or nearly being hit. It would seem that living in very crowded conditions combined with the both the Hindu and Buddhist attitudes results in a very calm, non-defensive, understanding. It would be nice if we could realize, in our country, that things get crazy sometimes, but it’s just not worth the energy and unhappiness of being upset.

There is so much for us to learn from other countries and peoples. It’s a shame that everyone in the world can’t visit dozens of other countries and see how much we, as humans, are very much the same and that we can learn from our differences.

A Little Lesson on Never Giving Up

As most of you know, the very talented Leslie Nielsen died this past weekend. He was an amazing person not only because of his talent but also because of his perseverance.

Nielsen childhood was a difficult one, growing up in an abusive home but with one particular shining star in his life—his uncle who was a well-known actor. The awe and respect his uncle garnered inspired Nielsen to pursue an acting career even though, as he told a Boston Globe reporter in 1994, he was “very shy about it and certainly without courage regarding it”. Yet, it was what he wanted and so, even though he often felt he would be discovered to be a no-talent, he moved forward, gaining a scholarship to the Neighborhood Playhouse and making his first television appearance a few years later in 1948. However, becoming a full-time, successful actor would still be an uphill battle for another 8 years until he landed a number of film roles that finally got him noticed.

But even then, what he had wasn’t quite what he wanted. Apparently Nielsen always felt he should be doing comedy but his good looks and distinguished voice kept him busy in dramatic roles. It wasn’t until 1980—32 years into his career—that he landed the role it would seem he was made for in “Airplane!”. That movie lead him into the second half of a prolific and notable career where his comedic presence alone could make a movie a financial success even when the critics would not give it two thumbs up.

Did Nielsen then feel content in his career? Yes and no. He was thrilled to be doing the comedy that he always felt he should do, but even during his last few years, he always had an innate sense of curiosity, wondering what new role or challenge might be just around the corner. He never stopped working, never retired. He had a passion, not only for acting and entertaining but also for living.

Leslie Nielsen’s passion and perseverance is wonderfully inspiring. He built a hugely successful career with little more than plain old hard work and doggedness. He showed us that even a single desire, never given up on, can make for a remarkable life. And I, for one, want to thank him for it.

The $2 High

Last week I went on a hike to get some exercise, looking forward to the great feeling that the increase of serotonin and dopamine bring on from the exercise. In my pocket I had a handful of $2 bills which I give out to kids because it always brings a huge smile and a sincere thank you and I get a big boast myself from seeing how happy it makes them.

So while enjoying the beautiful sights of Millcreek Canyon, I passed a couple and their daughter. The little girl was crying because she had fallen on the trail. As I passed by I told the her “Be sure to keep your eyes on the trail for paper litter and if you pick some up you will be TWO lucky.” I then dropped a $2 bill a few feet on. The girl saw it, picked it up, her scrapes forgotten, and excitedly showed her parents. I kept on hiking, a big smile on my face, but soon heard them talking to another hiker about what I’d done, which made me smile even more.

A little while later I passed a slightly older girl and told her the same thing. When I dropped the $2 bill she very sweetly let me know I had dropped it. I told her to keep it for good luck. I passed this girl and her parents on the way back down and her parents stopped me, thanking me over and over and again and said their daughter thought I was an angel. That made my broad smile into an even broader grin that just wouldn’t leave my face.

By the time I’d gotten to the end of the trail, I was incredibly high on all the joy my little gestures produced as well as from the exercise. I couldn’t stop thinking about how something as small as a $2 bill could make both the giver and receiver so happy. We all go to great lengths to find a little happiness, something that makes us feel good or let’s us know what we do is worthwhile. And yet some of the smallest gestures can do this very thing, not just for you but also for others.

Take a look at Chapter 12 “The Benefits of a “God- Eye View” in my book, “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. And take a moment here and there to make someone’s day and yours as well.

The Habit of Taking Action

Here’s one other thing about the experience I had winning at the Huntsman Tennis Tournament earlier this month. Yes, a huge part of getting through that last rough match was my positive thinking and just taking it one point at a time but there is one other thing, something very fundamental, that made it possible for me to stay in a positive thought mode and persevere even though I was exhausted. It was my innate habit of taking action.

It’s no wonder that the phrase “Do as I say, not as I do” is so often used. Many people, even when they know they should take action, ignore the wisdom they possess and do nothing. But the most successful people not only know what action to take, they actually do it, naturally and automatically. If a great opportunity comes along, they don’t hem and haw and spend so much time weighing the pros and cons that it becomes too late. They also don’t sit back and do nothing just because there is risk involved or quit when things become difficult. Success, by definition, is a result of actions taken. You cannot be successful without actually doing something.

So ask yourself, “Is action or inaction my habitual response to a new opportunity or a bump in the road?” Start paying attention to how often you choose not to act or delay reacting. This can involve anything—a chance to meet new people and network, buying a book or tool that looks like it might be helpful, investing in a potentially lucrative but risky new venture, or being in a competitive situation like my tennis match. If inaction seems to be your default, start making conscious decisions to act even when your instinct is telling you to go sit it out. I bet you’ll be surprised at how often the outcome is in your favor and how energized you are just because you tried.

Just look at me. I came very close to losing that match but even if I had, I would have known that I gave it my all and that would have been infinitely better than throwing down my racquet and calling it quits. And look at what my persevering action resulted in! A gold medal and a hard earned win that I am immensely proud of.

This is not to say that you should just act on anything that comes your way. Make informed decisions and follow common sense. But, next time, act on a potentially good thing and keep moving forward even when things get tough. See if you’re not happy that you did it, regardless of the results. Eventually, if you keep forcing yourself to act, it will become automatic. And so too, will success.

Others’ Success Breeds Your Success

You ability to succeed, at whatever it is you want to do depends very much on your dedication, your passion, and a great support system. But something that is not often talked about that seems to be an essential part of a support system is the presence of a successful, talented. Henry David Thoreau was mentored by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Frank Sinatara drew a lifetime of inspiration from his mentor and friend, Bing Crosby. Even Bill Gates who has been said to draw so much from games like Risk and Monopoly spent significant time with Warren Buffett. It’s not just the wisdom that a mentor can bring you but the fulfilling and stimulating personal connection.

It is too hard to struggle in a vacuum, aiming for a dream that no one around you carries a similar passion for. That is why the most successful people either are drawn to, or seek out, the most accomplished people in the fields that relate to their passions. Do you have someone in your life that you look up to, that can share their wisdom with you and help you realize your goals? If not, you need to seek out these kinds of people through conventions, local meetings, and industry events–any where the successful gather. If you surround yourself with the right kind of people, someone is bound to take an interest in your enthusiasm and pass on what they have learned.

Although there are amazing people whose stories and legacies are hugely empowering, that you can access through books, TV and the internet to draw inspiration from, these distant or one way relationships will never replace the energy you get from one on one time with someone who has reached a level of success you are still striving for. Being able to have a discussion, ask questions, observe, and get feedback from a person who has gone through all the trials and joys that the road to dreams are paved with has an infinitely greater impact on you. And having such a person as a friend means you have relative access to those motivating discussions and inspiring support—and a better chance of getting where you want to go.

I’ve had many o my own mentors over the years but I think my most influential mentor was Larry Rosenberg with Paul J. Meyer right behind him. You can read more about both these wonderful men in my book,How to Ignite Your Passion for Living.

How Many New People Have You Meet This Week?

So I’m still basking in the glow of newly made memories from our trip to Europe that we recently returned from. I just can’t stop thinking about all the amazing contacts I’ve made, not just on this trip but on all my trips before. I know I’ve talked about getting out and meeting people quite a bit lately but I really can’t say it enough. Meeting new people can lead to such wonderful new adventures, friendships, and business opportunities. And you don’t have to travel the world to make such great new contacts.

It doesn’t matter where you are, what you’re doing, or where you’re headed. No matter what the circumstances, be bold, talk to strangers, strike up kindly conversations with anyone you have a chance to say hello to. Yes, some of them won’t care for your forward manner. Many people are too busy to stop and chat or they might be suspicious of what you’re after but don’t worry about those people. If you have such an encounter, just move on. Most people are actually happy to talk, especially if you ask them about themselves. Taking notice of them and having an interest in their life is flattering and encourages them to share.

I’m not saying you should put on an act either. You really should be interested in them. Everyone has a story that will help you understand the world better. Most people has some surprising ideas of their own, and they might even be the connection to other wonderful people. Just don’t let the possibility of getting a strange look or a curt rebuff deter you.

Some of the strangers I’ve meet over the years have not lead to ground breaking business ideas but they have become dear friends and enrich my life as much as, if not more than, those that have helped me in my successful business ventures. We meet up with our Danish friends, Karina and Mark, who then introduced us to several of their friends. We were also honored when a young man, Reto Moro, flew from Zurich to Paris with his daughter Ana just to go to dinner with us. Then we meet several more bright and interesting people from several countries on the ship we took from Copenhagen to Tallin.

There is no reason at all that you should deny yourself the rich opportunities that are but a handshake and a “hello” away. So this week, another challenge. See how many new people you can meet this week. Ask them about their lives and their stories and see what remarkable things come of reaching out and connecting with just a few more people in this world.

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