How to be Thankful: Live in the Now
It is not usually the moment we are in that worries or upsets us. Yes, a certain moment can get us riled up but if you think about it, it’s our dwelling on the past or worrying about the future that keeps us from enjoying life, from enjoying the moment we have at hand.
Dwelling on the past or possible future does you no good. What has happened is no longer in your circle of control and as for the future, do the best you know how and the future will play out the best that it can. What you have at any given moment is the only thing that matters, the only thing you have any real control over. And the control you have is choosing to enjoy and appreciate what you have right now or ignoring it for the pointlessness of the unchangeable and the unknowable.
Be thankful for the good things you know are part of your life as it exists now, for the friends, family and talents you have. Regret and worry do nothing but cause you to conjure up dissatisfaction in what has already happened and what might happen, clouding your perception of the wonderful things you do actually have. There is a saying, “Past is History, Future is a Mystery and Today is Gift and hence it is called the Present”. Enjoy the present, as a present to yourself and all those around you. Find your joy, make your own happiness in the one certain and controllable thing you have … the moment you are living right now.
Our Nation’s Opportunity
I think most of us are all thrilled that the election is over. So much talk and spinning and of course the endless political ads can drive a person crazy. Not to mention those all too often mean-spirited personal attacks on Obama and Romney. So of course, there will be some skewed views about our President that will persist for a while if not until the end of his term but that kind of focus won’t do our nation any good.
What can we do to put the bad taste of the election behind us and move towards a positive future? To start with, we all need keep focused on what needs to be done. I would like it if you would click on this link and read this very interesting, and I think very accurate, article on the outcome and who we really elected as president.
The problem with most of the hostile messages I read was that they were long on sweeping generalizations and very short on specific facts. I know there is a grand hope that is shared by the majority of Americans–that now with the election over, perhaps the two sides will act like adults and do what politics is all about. That being an opportunity to come to a compromise so that we can keep our slow recovery on track.
Our leaders need to realize they represent ALL OF US whether we voted for them or not, whether we are Democratic, Republican Independent or undeclared. This is not about competition. It’s about our country.
I hope you get something out of the attached editorial and maybe even share it with friends whether they were for or Obama or not.
http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/opinion/55227958-82/obama-republican-bush-tax.html.csp
Dodging a Bullet
All I have to say is a double WOW… I worried myself sick after the doctor told me there is a 90% chance that my right main heart artery is 100% blocked. We scheduled an angiogram and just before they wheeled me in the doctor tells me that if my left main artery is also blocked then they will have to do open heart surgery. Of course, that last comment scared me to death and I started thinking about dying. Hey, I’ve had a good nearly 69 years and a lot of people get much less than that.
So there I am in the operating room staring at the ceiling as the doctor gets to work. (They don’t put you under for an angiogram.) I think back on my life and that everyone has to die and maybe it’s my turn now. Â Less than an hour later they wheel my bed back to the hospital room where my wife Kimberly is waiting. Then the WOW news!! And what was that news?
“We didn’t find any blockage. All the tests, cat scans and nuclear stress EKG’s that you had that showed a blockage were wrong. It was a false positive.”
Did that ever make my day … or life! But what a lot of stress I went through to get there. I guess that kind of proves the old adage that “What we worry about the most doesn’t usually happen.”
But there was a good lesson that I learned. It goes back to what the Buddhist have said for years … that everyone of us needs to mentally go through in our heads the process of dying (to die before we die) so when we do get to that point in our lives where we really are going to die, it makes that transition much easier to accept and to embrace.
So yes, I dodged a bullet. Even if I did have a stent put in or had open heart surgery the chances of survival would have been very high but still, dodging that bullet helped me prepare myself for the inevitable. It also gave me pause so that I took a good hard look at the relationships I have with family and friends and renewed my vow to do more with my life.
But you don’t have to go through an unnecessary scare like this to appreciate and reaffirm the strength and importance of your relationships and really see what you are doing with your life. Just ask yourself, if I died today, would I feel that I was the kind of person I wanted to be for the people I love and am doing what I really want with my live? Then listen carefully and well to the answers and make the changes you want to see while you still have the time here to do it.
Don’t Take Planning for Granted
I talk a lot about goal setting and planning for your dreams, especially the aspect of making a plan and sticking to it. But have you ever considered what it might be like to not even have the option to make plans?
In Serbia where we recently traveled, they are so thankful that the war that tore up that country from 1992 to 1995 is over. There is still plenty of evidence of those hard years but what a great country it is to visit now. It’s very safe and friendly as well as being an inexpensive country to enjoy and explore. But the really amazing thing is the people and their appreciation for things that, at one time, they weren’t sure they could have, would not even dream about because their future was so uncertain.
These days the people of Serbia are finally feeling settled and are able to make long term plans to create businesses, start or grow families, go to school, or build a home. There are still struggles but they have at least had the ability to dream restored to them.
We take that kind of long term planning for granted because it is not only possible but pretty easy for us to plan for whatever we might want. We certainly have fewer hurdles than most of those people in Serbia. If we only take the time to plan and then act on those plans, imagine what can be accomplished in a country that encourages and supports your dreams? We should, at least, be so very grateful for that extra benefit in our lives.
**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
Growing Ageless
I set a huge goal a few weeks ago–not long after my 68th birthday—to get in the best physical shape of my life!
Now I know that may sound like a bit of fantasy at my age but if you look hard enough you will find some great motivational examples of people well into their 70’s and 80’s and even 90’s who are in super incredible shape.
You may not believe it until you see it so check out these people:
- 77 year old Sizzling Senior, Kelly Nelson
- 70 year old model Sunny Griffin
- 95 year old Merrill Matzinger
Not such a fantasy after all, is it?
My goals is not necessarily to have just a ripped type body but to be in overall great shape which includes getting down to my high school weight of 160 pounds, be super flexible and be able to run faster and longer than ever before! Well, okay, maybe not faster but certainly longer.
There is no reason that I can’t achieve these goals. It is physically possible. But it will take a lot of work and dedication. That is the issue–keeping with the program not whether it’s possible to reach it.
Next week I’ll start talking about that—the role of willpower in our lives. I’ll tell you how to gain successful self-control so you can reach whatever goal you have your heart set on.
**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
Changing for Better Health BEFORE the Alarms Go Off
Sometimes it takes huge bells on a gigantic clock to wake us up enough to change our thoughts and our habits. But, sadly, too many times when the alarm goes off we hit the snooze button or even sleep right through the loud ringing. I had the opportunity to see quite a few wake-up alarms going off at the hospital in Boston where my wife underwent a difficult surgery and I hope to permanently learn from them.
One such alarm was seeing and talking to a patient who had half her lungs taken out 5 weeks before but was back in the hospital with blood clots. Her husband took me aside and told me how sad it was. His wife smoked but never a lot. Still, she couldn’t seem to give it up. He was really hoping that this was a loud enough wake up bell that she wouldn’t hit the snooze button this time.
Another thing that really hit me was seeing so many obese people in the halls. This wake-up call was more one of empathy for them, knowing many were there for obese related problems. I realized that even though the alarm was going off for them, food addiction is even harder to give up than smoking! Unlike cigarettes, you can’t totally stop eating food, so in a way a person who overeats is constantly teasing and tempting himself or herself every time they eat.
Being in a hospital environment, there are many instances where you are exposed to the problems people have with taking care of themselves. The big take away, at least for me, is knowing that we all need to be much more observant, to see our own selves clearly and see what we need to be doing to stay healthy. We need to figure out better paths to go down before we get the big wake up calls. Additionally, I would say–don’t hit the snooze button! Go out and make the necessary changes—now!
**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
My Own Self-Check List, Part 2
So … did you go through the questions I gave you last week, the ones that will help you focus on becoming super successful? Did you find that they brought up all kinds of ideas and aspects of yourself and your life you hadn’t thought about too much before?
Today, I have an additional ten questions for you. These really get into the big picture of who you are and what you want. Go ahead and actually write down your answers. If there are any answers that you aren’t happy with–things you discover that you would like to change or know you need to address–highlight them. Then spend some time either journaling or talking to friends and family about what you need to do so that not too long from now, you can answer these questions with positive statements that show you know who you are and where you are going with your life.
11. Have I set goals big enough to energize my mind, body and soul to the point that these objectives are my core or dominant thoughts?
12. Do I want to be my own boss?
13. Do people like me and can I inspire others with my dreams and goals so they will follow me and help me achieve my objectives?
14. Am I a generalist who can delegate to others or a specialist who must do everything myself?
15. Do I have a great degree of intuitive ability or am I very gullible and can easily be deceived?
16. Am I able to take major disappointment and bounce right back?
17. Do I have the right paradigm or view of the world that will drive the right attitude in myself? (I must always remember that if I don’t like my life I must change my attitude and thinking.)
18. Do I use the huge and great power of “choice”? (Mankind’s most powerful attribute)
19. Do I ‘borrow’ the brains of others through personal contacts, books, cd’s, podcasts, texting, emails etc.?
20. Can I, and do I, adapt and adjust my goals to economic, political, technological, and relationship changes?
What topics would you like to read more about? What are your favorite posts you’ve read so far? Help me make this blog as helpful as possible to you and the other readers by letting me know what you’d like to read more of at marko@reincome.com. —MOH.
Improving your Will Power
My son David gave me a great book for my 68th birthday. It’s called “The Willpower Instinct” by Kelly McGonigal, PH.D. with the sub title of “How Self-Control works, Why it Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It”. Wow that is an attention grabbing title!
Yes I know I have done a ton of preaching about the “key” or “secret” of reaching your goals–that being my concept of “B-RAM”. I discuss it at length on pages 71 through 81 of my book “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living“. But Kelly’s book ads a whole new dimension to our understanding of how the brain works and how you can program it for your own success.
Kelly discusses the advantages we gain from things like self-awareness, meditation and even 5 or 10 minutes of exercise and backs it all up with science. The ability to set great goals in your life and reach them more consistently can be gained through these methods. Your brain can even be physically changed by what you send though it. And it doesn’t matter what those goals are—anything from losing weight, to overcoming an addiction to being a better parent or making a ton of money.
Most of us think the only way our brains change is by deteriorating as we get older. But Kelly points out that over the last decade, neuroscientists have discovered that the brain stays remarkably responsive to experience. Ask your brain to do math every day, and it gets better at math. Ask your brain to worry, and it gets better at worrying. Ask your brain to concentrate, and it gets better at concentrating. “There is growing scientific evidence that you can train your brain to get better at self-control,” Kelly says.
Next week I will give you more hints and steps that you and I can take to build more will power and self-control so as to bolster our goal setting abilities.
If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
Push Yourself in 2012
As we come upon the end of another year, I’ve been thinking about what I’ve done this past year and what I want to do this next year. And in the process my thoughts turn to what I’m going to be writing to you all. And I find myself hoping that many, if not most of you will go out in 2012 and take big risks, chase your dreams, and really put your all into getting what you want out of life.
You are probably many times more capable, talented, and resourceful than you give yourself credit for. These last few years have been hard with the economy repressed as it is and we’ve seen so many people– friends, family … even ourselves—feeling it in our businesses, the loss of jobs, the difficulty in finding work. But you know, you can make the present and your future what you want it to be regardless of all that. The route to your goals may not always be so fast and direct, but there is always a way.
This year, promise yourself you will take chances, push yourself, and find a way to make significant progress towards, if not attain, the goals you have. You’ll be amazed by what you can do and will feel energized and more alive just for making that great effort and even more so when you see what you can accomplish!
I hope you and yours have the most wonderful and bright New Year.
The Power of Actually Using Positive Thinking
Recently I picked up a rather old book, from 1987, called “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers. I remember hearing years ago of the physical demonstration that she talks about in her book.
During her seminars she would get a volunteer out of her audience and have them hold their arms straight out to the side. She would tell the volunteer to resist with all their strength as she attempted to push down on their arms. “Not once have I succeeded in pushing ….the arms down on my initial trial” she states in her book. She would then tell the volunteer to repeat “I am a weak and unworthy person” ten times and really feel the statement. When trying to push down the arms right after this, she was able to pull both arms down. To prove her point even more, she would again ask the person to repeat ten times the positive statement “I am a strong and worthy person” but this time, she would not be able to budge their arms, even more so than the first time she tried to push them down.
A couple days ago, just before heading out to play in a round robin tennis tourney, I repeated to myself, many times over, (even thought I felt kind of childish doing it) ” I am a very strong tennis player and I am very worthy of winning” and also repeating “I am younger and more fit now than I was a year ago”—and did it ever work! I played 4 rounds of tennis winning each round by a very wide margin!!
Most of what Jeffers had to say was stuff I already knew but I was not doing it anymore. It was like a rebirth doing it again and, wow, does it feel good. The power of positive thinking is pretty amazing. Especially when you remember to use it!
