Driving (and Living) Lessons

It’s amazing how much one can get out of visiting other countries. Not only are there the constant novel experiences but there is also so much to learn from their habits and cultures. I have now been to 74 countries and even lived in Turkey from 1959 to 1961 where I attend high school. But even so, every country is a surprise, a wonder, and a new lesson, opening my eyes to so many new and varied visions of life and living.

One thing that stood out while walking and being driven in the heavy, crazy traffic of Kathmandu was how the culture and habits of the people there differed so very much from our own. We saw so many near misses between cars and pedestrians, watched our drivers and others being regularly cut off by wildly driven vehicles, and heard so many, many horns. I mean Kimberly, I, and my two daughters, Nichol and Cammy, came within an inch or two of being hit by motorcycles as well as cars. It was quite scary at first but amazingly you get used to it. It’s just how it is there. Back home in Utah, if any of those things happened you most likely would get an angry look or get flipped off while in some other cities in the U.S. you even might get shot.

However, in India and Nepal, people never seem to get upset or mad at the honking, getting cut off, or nearly being hit. It would seem that living in very crowded conditions combined with the both the Hindu and Buddhist attitudes results in a very calm, non-defensive, understanding. It would be nice if we could realize, in our country, that things get crazy sometimes, but it’s just not worth the energy and unhappiness of being upset.

There is so much for us to learn from other countries and peoples. It’s a shame that everyone in the world can’t visit dozens of other countries and see how much we, as humans, are very much the same and that we can learn from our differences.

Living a Life of Quality

With age, and the experience of achieving great success, it has become glaringly clear that wealth, power, status, fame, possessions, etc. do not, by themselves, add anything significant to the actual quality of our lives. Yes, I find having wealth is nice and allows me to do many wonderful things such as travel (like I am right now!), and I do thoroughly enjoy many of my physical possessions like my new house and all the bits and pieces my wife has brought in to make it a home, but these things are not how I measure how well I live.

Most of what makes a life worth living is not to be bought or collected but can be found in the experiences you have, what you give to others, what you accept, and how you choose to look at the world. It’s those many small steps that make up the journey that determine the true importance of the destination, not the destination itself.

If your ‘destination’ is great wealth, gaining that wealth will only be important if you’ve lived well, struggled often, and celebrated your small successes along the way. This is why lottery winners almost always end up unhappy. There was no journey, no sense of success and no memories that made up the path to their wealth. The money just became a condition of their life, not something that engaged their sense of personal acheivement.

This idea brings together much of what I’ve been talking about these past few weeks. Live in the moment, because these moments are what your life is truly made of. Choose to be happy or your life will be made of many disappointing moments and thus your life will be disappointing. And don’t forget to look for joy in the wonderful act of giving to others, acts that will infuse your life with the kind of treasure that you could never buy or fabricate.

Go ahead and go for the wealth and the status and whatever else you dream of. Just remember to live a quality life along the way, and keep up your passion for living, not just for the future life you’re after.

Happiness is a Choice

I got an email from a colleague about how things are going back in our part of the States. (I am in Bhutan right now–I’ll have to get to back to the experiences I’m having here on a later post). Apparently we got our first snow in my absence and this friend commented on the mixed reactions to the cold and the falling of the fluffy white stuff. As usual, there were a people who grumbled and scowled and there were others who lit up at the sight. Same weather, same basic experience. But for some it ruined their day while other people stopped to enjoy its beauty.

It was a perfect example of something I have been thinking about a lot lately. That is simply this: A person can make themselves happy or miserable, regardless of what is actually happening “outside” just by changing the contents of their consciousness. With such power over our circumstances, why are so many people miserable so often?

We all know people who can transform a hopeless situations into a challenge to be overcome, just through the force of their attitude. This ability to persevere despite obstacles and setbacks is one quality that people highly admire in others and justly so. It is probably the most important trait for not only succeeding in life but for enjoying it as well. Even your very perception of you as a successful person is based on how you choose to look at the experiences you have.

So, when the snow starts coming down, or the next difficult task looms before you, how will you choose to experience it?

The $2 High

Last week I went on a hike to get some exercise, looking forward to the great feeling that the increase of serotonin and dopamine bring on from the exercise. In my pocket I had a handful of $2 bills which I give out to kids because it always brings a huge smile and a sincere thank you and I get a big boast myself from seeing how happy it makes them.

So while enjoying the beautiful sights of Millcreek Canyon, I passed a couple and their daughter. The little girl was crying because she had fallen on the trail. As I passed by I told the her “Be sure to keep your eyes on the trail for paper litter and if you pick some up you will be TWO lucky.” I then dropped a $2 bill a few feet on. The girl saw it, picked it up, her scrapes forgotten, and excitedly showed her parents. I kept on hiking, a big smile on my face, but soon heard them talking to another hiker about what I’d done, which made me smile even more.

A little while later I passed a slightly older girl and told her the same thing. When I dropped the $2 bill she very sweetly let me know I had dropped it. I told her to keep it for good luck. I passed this girl and her parents on the way back down and her parents stopped me, thanking me over and over and again and said their daughter thought I was an angel. That made my broad smile into an even broader grin that just wouldn’t leave my face.

By the time I’d gotten to the end of the trail, I was incredibly high on all the joy my little gestures produced as well as from the exercise. I couldn’t stop thinking about how something as small as a $2 bill could make both the giver and receiver so happy. We all go to great lengths to find a little happiness, something that makes us feel good or let’s us know what we do is worthwhile. And yet some of the smallest gestures can do this very thing, not just for you but also for others.

Take a look at Chapter 12 “The Benefits of a “God- Eye View” in my book, “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. And take a moment here and there to make someone’s day and yours as well.

The Habit of Taking Action

Here’s one other thing about the experience I had winning at the Huntsman Tennis Tournament earlier this month. Yes, a huge part of getting through that last rough match was my positive thinking and just taking it one point at a time but there is one other thing, something very fundamental, that made it possible for me to stay in a positive thought mode and persevere even though I was exhausted. It was my innate habit of taking action.

It’s no wonder that the phrase “Do as I say, not as I do” is so often used. Many people, even when they know they should take action, ignore the wisdom they possess and do nothing. But the most successful people not only know what action to take, they actually do it, naturally and automatically. If a great opportunity comes along, they don’t hem and haw and spend so much time weighing the pros and cons that it becomes too late. They also don’t sit back and do nothing just because there is risk involved or quit when things become difficult. Success, by definition, is a result of actions taken. You cannot be successful without actually doing something.

So ask yourself, “Is action or inaction my habitual response to a new opportunity or a bump in the road?” Start paying attention to how often you choose not to act or delay reacting. This can involve anything—a chance to meet new people and network, buying a book or tool that looks like it might be helpful, investing in a potentially lucrative but risky new venture, or being in a competitive situation like my tennis match. If inaction seems to be your default, start making conscious decisions to act even when your instinct is telling you to go sit it out. I bet you’ll be surprised at how often the outcome is in your favor and how energized you are just because you tried.

Just look at me. I came very close to losing that match but even if I had, I would have known that I gave it my all and that would have been infinitely better than throwing down my racquet and calling it quits. And look at what my persevering action resulted in! A gold medal and a hard earned win that I am immensely proud of.

This is not to say that you should just act on anything that comes your way. Make informed decisions and follow common sense. But, next time, act on a potentially good thing and keep moving forward even when things get tough. See if you’re not happy that you did it, regardless of the results. Eventually, if you keep forcing yourself to act, it will become automatic. And so too, will success.

The Wild Ride that is ‘Thinking Big’

Going after your dreams and achieving your goals should be like choosing rides at the amusement park. You could play it safe with the monorail, the steam train and the cutesy boat ride but did you go there to relax or be thrilled? If you shell out the bucks to be there, why not go for the monster roller coaster and the wild haunted house? Yes, there is a chance you’re going to get so scared or dizzy or motion sick that you have to sit out part of the day but at least you’ll have tried to get the most out of your trip and will certainly have memories and stories to tell.

Successful people would never be happy with taking the safer rides. They live for the thrill of the big payoff and the challenge of righting the plans that didn’t pan out. They don’t think small. They take big, confident, adventurous steps. And if you are going to be one of them, you must set aside those tiny, tentative, safe steps that have kept you creeping along with little or no progress.

If you’ve read my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, you know I’m all about taking small steps but as a way to build to something big. Those little steps are only smaller parts making up or leading to big leaps, a way to keep your tasks form getting too overwhelming and to mark your progress. Every successful goal is made up of many smaller, but still challenging, and sometimes risky, goals.

This is not to say you should throw caution to the wind. Thinking big does not mean making rash or unnecessarily large risks. The truly successful person goes after opportunities that are risky in a manageable way and he or she has a recovery plan just in case it doesn’t work out. What risk is manageable means something different to each person but it definitely means stepping out of that comfort zone.

For what is the point of living in mediocrity, of dreaming but not going for it, living a life of quiet desperation as they say? If your dream is to be wildly successful, take some wild chances–well informed chances yet challenging and thrilling. Even when it doesn’t work out quite the way you hoped it would, the ride alone is usually more than worth it.

How Many New People Have You Meet This Week?

So I’m still basking in the glow of newly made memories from our trip to Europe that we recently returned from. I just can’t stop thinking about all the amazing contacts I’ve made, not just on this trip but on all my trips before. I know I’ve talked about getting out and meeting people quite a bit lately but I really can’t say it enough. Meeting new people can lead to such wonderful new adventures, friendships, and business opportunities. And you don’t have to travel the world to make such great new contacts.

It doesn’t matter where you are, what you’re doing, or where you’re headed. No matter what the circumstances, be bold, talk to strangers, strike up kindly conversations with anyone you have a chance to say hello to. Yes, some of them won’t care for your forward manner. Many people are too busy to stop and chat or they might be suspicious of what you’re after but don’t worry about those people. If you have such an encounter, just move on. Most people are actually happy to talk, especially if you ask them about themselves. Taking notice of them and having an interest in their life is flattering and encourages them to share.

I’m not saying you should put on an act either. You really should be interested in them. Everyone has a story that will help you understand the world better. Most people has some surprising ideas of their own, and they might even be the connection to other wonderful people. Just don’t let the possibility of getting a strange look or a curt rebuff deter you.

Some of the strangers I’ve meet over the years have not lead to ground breaking business ideas but they have become dear friends and enrich my life as much as, if not more than, those that have helped me in my successful business ventures. We meet up with our Danish friends, Karina and Mark, who then introduced us to several of their friends. We were also honored when a young man, Reto Moro, flew from Zurich to Paris with his daughter Ana just to go to dinner with us. Then we meet several more bright and interesting people from several countries on the ship we took from Copenhagen to Tallin.

There is no reason at all that you should deny yourself the rich opportunities that are but a handshake and a “hello” away. So this week, another challenge. See how many new people you can meet this week. Ask them about their lives and their stories and see what remarkable things come of reaching out and connecting with just a few more people in this world.

Adding Value to Personal Connections

If you sell merchandise or offer a service you’ve probably heard the “added value” phrase a few times. That term refers to adding something to your product that gives it more value but isn’t necessarily essential to its primary purpose. The hope is that it might sway a consumer into choosing what you are offering over your competitor. Simple concept really. But have you ever applied it to personal connections?

When you meet someone do you try connecting with the standard introduction followed by small talk and then a comment about your business to see if there is any interest? Even if what you do garners interest, that person could meet three other people that night that have the same type of business. What will make you stand out? If you follow the concept of added value, you might find out what the other person does first and offer to assist them in some small way. You might bring the keynote speaker a glass of water after a long talk. Or you can show up early to an event and help your host with their last minute set-up. You’ll be well remembered for your kindness and consideration.

So next time you’re out networking, consider what you can do for others first, not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because you add value to the interaction you have with others. Amongst a group of people all looking for what others can offer them, your personal approach will make a definite impression. We are human beings first, business people second, and we’ll always react stronger to connections that speak to our human side.

What do the blueprints for your mindset look like?

Wealthy entrepreneurs seem to be a breed apart. But what makes them so different from the average Joe? A big part of it is their mindset, a way of thinking that just automatically aims big. They are ready, willing and able to make or move on large scale opportunities. Thinking big isn’t even an effort—it’s just habit.

I talk about mindset on page 107 of my book “How To Ignite Your Passion For Living”. This section explains how your mindset acts as a blueprint; how it directs what you do with your life. The people in this world who have amassed great wealth and success have a blueprint that is all about thinking big. If you want wealth or great success, you too have to work off a blueprint designed for thinking big.

Bill Gates is a well known example of super success. He’s also one of those people who has always had a ‘think big’ mindset. He was already embarking on his own business ventures at the age of 17. While an undergraduate at Harvard he managed to convince one of the first microcomputer manufactures to meet with him so he could sell them on something he hadn’t even tried yet. These crazy, untried, big ideas paid off and he eventually took a leave of absence from Harvard because of them. His big leap also started him down the path to starting what would end up being the largest software company in the world, Microsoft. It is also what made him a billionaire at the age of 31.

If Bill Gates had played it safe, it’s likely that very few of us would even know his name. Where will thinking big like this take you? If you want the big rewards, get your subconscious, as well as you intentions, working off the same big plans blueprint. Make thinking big a habit. Think big, think wealthy, think successful. If this truly becomes your mindset, it will lead to this also being your reality.

Be Open to Being Open

In the past few posts, I’ve been outlining the best ways to leverage yourself with networking. In addition to getting out there regularly and having a loaded business gun so you are ready to make the most of a new connection, you also need to have the proper, open-minded attitude. In other words, you need to toss preconceptions about what type of people you want to connect with or what kind of opportunities you’re hoping to find. Some of the best connections and opportunities arise where you least expect them.

For instance, a long, long time ago a candle maker and a soap maker found themselves married to sisters. As brothers-in-law, they saw each other frequently but never talked to each other about their businesses because they created two different things. It took their astute father-in-law knocking them over the head to realize that what they did was actually very similar—they both produced tallow and fat based products sold to the home retail market. They decided to go ahead and try combining their efforts by selling both products types at each sales call and putting their individual strengths where it would do the company the most good. Within a couple decades they were one of the largest companies in Cincinnati. The simple candle and soap makers became some of the richest men in the region, something they were not likely to accomplish on their own.

Now their company, Proctor and Gamble, is known around the world and boasts sales near the $40 billion mark. And to think that initially they didn’t believe they had anything to offer the other! Opportunities are plentiful. You just have to get past the standard assumptions, think creatively, and consider ideas from many angles.

So, the next time you’re introduced to someone or an idea comes your way that gives you that “not my thing” feeling, stop and give it a couple minutes and see if you can’t come up with a way you could benefit each other. You never know what you might come up with. Keeping an open mind gives you so many more chances to multiply your finances, as well as business partnerships and friendships. You’ll be surprised at how often positive things develop if you just give them a little consideration.

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