Gold Vs. Heart Attack/Maybe Death

Okay…  what do you want first–the good news or the bad? Let’s go with the bad first.

I worked hard on my tennis game all year long with the gold medal as my goal at the Huntsman World Senior Games. I was going to get the gold in men’s 65 to 70 singles–no if’s and’s or but’s. The bad news is that I failed!! But there is good news connected to the failure … I didn’t die. I kind of like that part.

You see, one week before the Senior Games my Doctor was searching for the source of my 2 year cough when a cat scan revealed something totally unrelated to my cough.  I had a possible 80% blockage in my right coronary artery.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My family has no history of heart disease, I eat a very healthy diet and I work out regularly.  But when I totally flunked my stress EKG test I started to believe what the doc was saying. I told him that I was heading to the Senior Games in St George, Utah and asked for his advice.  He said I would probably be ok but not to push myself and besides he added “they have defibrillator machines on site (that comment did not fill me with confidence!)

So I forged ahead but with some caution and a fair amount of fear. I worked my way through matches but when I found myself in the finals I got a huge big time scare! I started the match playing very strong but when I found myself ahead in the first set 3-0 something started happening to me.  I began feeling a slight chest pain and felt a bit sick. By the time my opponent Michael Murphy caught up and we were “on serve” I was sweating like a horse and my chest pains had intensified. I stopped the match right then and told Michael I couldn’t or at least shouldn’t play on, so the gold medal was his and I had to settle for the silver medal. Yes I was very disappointed but more than that I was scared. More than 30 minutes later my heart was still racing with a resting rate of over 100!

Back in Salt Lake City I had another EKG stress test, this time with radio-active dye that gives the docs a clearer picture of the blood flow through the veins. And yes I flunked that test too.

Then just a few days ago my doc called and told me that there is a 90% chance that my right coronary artery is completely blocked. His recommendation was to have an angiogram and most likely they need to put in a stent. Of course I agreed and scheduled it for this coming Wednesday, October 24th.

What is the take away lesson here? For me it’s this … life is so precious and can be so very short. You never know what might happen so live it in that “Great right now”!  Thankfully, we have access to such great medical knowledge, great medical technology, and great medicines so with that, taking care of ourselves, and a great bit of luck, we can all live a little bit longer and stronger.

So that is my great “golden” lesson of this year. Or should I say my great “silver” lesson?

 

Don’t Let Nay-Saying Stop You

You probably know this person, the one that asks for advice or help but then when they are offered an answer they do nothing but list all the reasons why it won’t work. And they do this over and over again for each possible solution they are presented with.  A person like this doesn’t want an answer; they want the responsibility of having to take care of the problem lifted from their shoulders. Of course, this is not how things work.

For most of us, we are this person too at one time or another. It’s not that we are wimpy or lazy, we just get overwhelmed. Our reaction is to complain, bemoan our situation and ramble on about the impossibility of the difficult thing we are faced with. But let me ask this–What has complaining ever done to help you? Absolutely nothing. What you need to do is ignore that initial negative reaction and don’t let yourself fall into the nay-saying trap by being positive first.

If you want to have a seemingly impossible issue removed from your life or at least lessened, you have to look to the possibilities not the impossibilities. There is always a solution. Asking others is truly a great way of finding an answer because another person’s view can open up possibilities you hadn’t considered. And when you are overwhelmed, it’s so hard to see the possibilities. The key is to be ‘open’ to other people’s suggestions. If someone offers you a possible solution try first to imagine that it truly might work before you let all the reasons why it won’t work rise up and squash it. It’s that initial negativity that will kill your motivation to really weigh the options. Be positive first and you are far more likely to come up with a feasible solution and a way out from under a difficult situation.

Cherishing Our Mistakes

I recently saw this anonymous quote making the rounds on the web:

“Don’t place your mistakes on your head, their weight may crush you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as a platform to view your horizons.”

What a great quote. Isn’t it more often true than not that we let our mistakes weight us down and crush our motivation? Mistakes are nothing more than learning opportunities. We learn best by the mistakes we make because it’s not so likely we’ll forget them.

Every one of us will make mistakes. A lot of them. They will make us feel idiotic, incompetent, and imperfect. But we are all these things at some moment (or two or ten) in our lives. And it’s wonderful! It means we always have something to work on, something we can look forward to doing better the next time.

So certainly, use your mistakes as blocks to step up on, to build the stairs you use climb to success. Don’t carry them around. When setting goals and taking those steps to reach those goals, know you will make mistakes along the way. Tell yourself,” I will screw up sometimes but that’s okay. I will learn from my mistakes and will be that much more competent and successful because of the knowledge I gained from those experiences.” This way when you make a mistake, you’ll be ready to move forward, not let it slow you down or stop you all together, which of course, would be the biggest mistake of all.

**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?

Don’t Take Planning for Granted

I talk a lot about goal setting and planning for your dreams, especially the aspect of making a plan and sticking to it. But have you ever considered what it might be like to not even have the option to make plans?

In Serbia where we recently traveled, they are so thankful that the war that tore up that country from 1992 to 1995 is over. There is still plenty of evidence of those hard years but what a great country it is to visit now. It’s very safe and friendly as well as being an inexpensive country to enjoy and explore. But the really amazing thing is the people and their appreciation for things that, at one time, they weren’t sure they could have, would not even dream about because their future was so uncertain.

These days the people of Serbia are finally feeling settled and are able to make long term plans to create businesses, start or grow families, go to school, or build a home. There are still struggles but they have at least had the ability to dream restored to them.

We take that kind of long term planning for granted because it is not only possible but pretty easy for us to plan for whatever we might want. We certainly have fewer hurdles than most of those people in Serbia. If we only take the time to plan and then act on those plans, imagine what can be accomplished in a country that encourages and supports your dreams? We should, at least, be so very grateful for that extra benefit in our lives.

 

**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?

Our Common Thread: Being Human

Well, I’ve been traveling again–Paris and Serbia and Montenegro. As I’ve mentioned in other blogs, I love to travel because of the stimulation it gives my mind and my spirit. The newness of the experiences and the variety of the places and cultures all combine to inspire and energize me. But there is one thing I don’t find much different from place to place … people.

As much as we might want to imagine it, people around the world are, at their center, pretty much the same. I know that in my experience most people are good and kind and want to help regardless of race, religion or country. We all have this binding similarity that is all too easily forgotten—we are all human and we all want the same basic thing … to be happy.

That’s why it’s so upsetting when I read in the news about people segregating themselves from each other. Whether it’s Muslims feeling hurt by what they are told about the US or the 99% trying to make it look like the 1% are another species, what would really help is for us all to stop and think that each person has the capacity for love and caring as well as hate, each individual is someone’s child, each of us are struggling with pain and misunderstanding and desire. That is who these ‘other’ people are.

Knowing this I am not at all surprised as I travel to meet smiling faces and kind gestures in every country and every culture I get to experience. I think if we expect animosity we will find animosity but if we expect compassion and generosity, it will be there for us to find.

Our Circle of Very Special People

A couple weeks ago we drove to the annual Stein Eriksen “Trollhaugen Tennis Tournament” in Montana. Before I went I worked my buns off. Okay … some of what I had to do might not fit your definition of work since a lot of it was using the tennis ball machine to work on and improve my backhand and forehand but  I also did cram in a bunch of office work. In that time I wrote up a complicated contract, worked on a refinance of my Kauai house and made an offer on 3 new Family Dollar stores. All that office work and the tennis workouts were crammed into two days which made it a couple of frenzied days but it also make the tennis tournament all the more rewarding–even though I didn’t win. It was a ‘break’ that was all the more prized because of that hard work, just as I’ve been saying the last couple weeks.

Going to this tournament is actually not so much about the tennis as it is about the wonderful friends and great conversations. I mention this event on page 134 of my book “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living“. There is even a picture of the Eriksen’s and us in the book. Most of the people we see at the tournament are friends we only see once a year but still those once a year friends have become very close and dear to us over the last 15 years that we’ve been going.

Stein Eriksen (the 1952 Olympic ski gold medalist and world cup champ) along with his wonderful wife Francoise and son Bjorn are an inspiration to me. They have such an incredible ability to surround themselves with many very dynamic, successful, kind and gentle friends. I just hope over the rest of my life I can come even close to doing the same thing that the Eriksen’s have done.

There are few loftier goals, in my opinion and experience, that a person could set for themselves than to have many great, successful and kind people as friends. Surrounding yourself with these types of people is inspiring, motivating and so very fulfilling. You can never have too many so I say let’s go out and work on increasing our circle of very special people.

You Need Work and Breaks to Appreciate Both

So many people retire and shortly after retiring they stop doing things, stop going places and stop pushing themselves. Then they stop permanently and totally. They assume “room temperature”. Yes … I mean they die, long before they should! Retirement doesn’t mean inactivity. Just the opposite.

Some people worry they might push themselves too hard. But the thing is, if you keep busy and then take breaks regularly, both the hard work and the time off will be much more rewarding and enjoyable and keeping a balance between them will keep you from pushing yourself too much.

Kimberly and I have been really working hard on her recovery from her surgery and a half dozen other projects.   In fact we’ve been so busy we almost cancelled a quick trip to Las Vegas to spend time with our great Swiss friend Reto Moro and his beautiful daughter Anna and her friend Anouk.  But thankfully we pushed ourselves to “take a break” even though it was only for 2 days. Wow what a great and refreshing break it was.  Not so much for the excitement that comes from that crazy city of action and shows and such but from getting together with great friends. I met Reto and his mom quite by accident, almost 30 years ago on the tennis court in Garmish Germany and we’ve been great friends ever since. It’s such a treat to spend time with them and the perfect break from our busy life.

The bottom line—and yes, I was chatting about this last week but it can’t be said too much—is never stop pushing yourself to stay active, regardless of your age, but also remember to never make “your pause” or “your break” a permanent state of living. You need both to appreciate either!

Getting Away from It All Should Never Be Forever

I think most of us know that busy lives are usually happy lives. But I think we’ve also been sold a bill of goods with our thinking that if we could only make lots of money then we could quit or retire and sit by the pool drinking Mai Tai’s the rest of our lives and be happy as pigs in slop. I am here to tell you that it just ain’t true!

We think this because when we are working hard and staying busy and then we take a break –going on vacation or a quick getaway–it makes us feel so good and refreshed that we mistakenly believe that if we could just do that all the time we’d have a permanent refreshed and a super great feeling.  But it doesn’t work like that. The fact is, if we don’t do the hard work then it’s really not a break and it doesn’t give us any reward or, at most, very little reward. We must all burn into our brains that the pause or the break should always remain as just that and never become a permanent thing.

Look at the recent London Olympics. Think of the four years of work that lead up to the moment we watched those young people step up on the award platform. Those award ceremonies were their break and their reward and you could see how immensely they enjoyed it. But what would become of those athletes lives if they sat back, doing nothing, trying to make that super reward moment last the rest of their lives without doing any more hard work? We can all imagine it, their lives going quickly downhill because each day there would be nothing to look forward to.

We all need to take a much harder look at our own lives and make sure we don’t ever turn the pause into a permanent state of living.  Passionate, fulfilled lives come from action and staying busy. Push yourself hard then, and only then, take a break and celebrate your hard work and accomplishments.

Using a Goal Buddy for Success

We started a couple months ago talking about things we could do to improve ourselves. Since then we’ve talked about communication, health, will power and more. Each of these posts set up possible goals you might want to have for yourself. So … did you set a goal … or two or ten? Just how are you doing with them?

It is not enough to just set a goal and attempt it. You need to regularly check in and see where you are at with your goal, if you need to adjust your deadlines or other details, and take time to review the reasons for going after these goals allowing you to become recommitted.

Some people can do this on their own or with the help of scheduling software but in either case they feel accountable to themselves and follow up. Many more of us need outside help. If you tell a spouse, family member or friend what you goal is, you will feel more committed because someone besides yourself knows about it. But if you need a little extra push don’t just tell these people what you want to do, ask them to help you. Ask that they remind you of your goal and why you are working towards it and have them kindly inquire how you are progressing so you feel some accountability to them. Having someone as a goal buddy, someone who has set a goal for themselves–the goal can be completely different from yours too– can help keep both of you on track and motivated as you support and cheer each other on.

Regardless, checking in on a regular basis to see how you are doing will help keep you on track. You can celebrate all the small accomplishments you’ve had and figure out how to better accomplish those items you may not have completed as well you hoped to.

Reaching your goal takes continuous vigilance but it’s a wonderful and joyful vigilance. Congratulate yourself on your progress and your continued efforts every step of the way. That alone can give you the boost you need to get each task done and realize your dream.

Gold Medal Friends

I am sure all would agree there is nothing in the world more precious than family and good friends. Here is the story of a true “Gold Medal Friend.”

To my 96 year old super step mom Merle and our many, many great “Gold Medal Friends!” I hope you enjoy this great story that ran in the Salt Lake Tribune on Monday about another gold medalist, this time it was an Olympic Gold Medal In Friendship and it may have even saved my wife Kimberly’s life.

A friend always, Mark O.

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