The Powerful Link Between PA’s and Goal Setting
All this talk of positive affirmations (PA’s) got me thinking about the critical and close connections between PA’s and goal setting. Is there a serious connection between the two?? Absolutely!
PA’s really are the basics of goal setting. A goal is obviously something you’ve thought about and decided it’s important enough to act on. If you’re smart you will have written it down. If you’re really smart you will have also put a deadline on it. By doing this you’ve feed a message to your mind and reinforced it by making a visual note on paper and, yes, your subconscious, which has just been sitting there waiting for directions, is now being told what to do and what to believe.
So no matter what the goal is that you’ve stored in your mind and put on paper, the ever vigilant and very smart subconscious says “Ok … that’s what you want to do so we’ll do it!” Remember it doesn’t matter whether it’s positive or negative –your subconscious doesn’t care. It will get to work on it as soon as you plant the seed and keep working on it even while you sleep or think about something else. That sneaky inner brain obeys and thinks “I’ll keep at this until you call me off or change your mind and goals.”
Of course, if you feed it negative stuff or if you don’t keep practicing positive PA’s the subconscious (SubCon) will be just as content to let the negative PA’s dominate — remember it just doesn’t care–it’s job is to do what you tell it to do without question. That is pretty powerful stuff.
Devising Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations sound so simple but they can make such a huge difference in so many areas of your life. The key to this, besides practicing them (see last week’s post), is creating the right kind of positive statements.
I was so dramatically reminded of how powerful these are when I used them during a tennis tournament and saw an immediate jump in the level of my game. So learning from that, I began adding more and more short and concise PA’s to other parts of my life.
Here are my physical and tennis PA’s:
1….I am strong and worthy
2… I am fast and flexible
3… My serve is very powerful
4… My serve hits different spots in the box
5… I have a strong slice backhand
6… I have a strong topspin forehand
7… I have a strong return of serve
8… I have great stamina
Notice that I never say “I don’t” or “I’m not” or anything negative. You don’t want to have images of what you don’t want going through your head. For instance, if you repeated “I will not be nervous at the interviewâ€, you’ll be sending images of your nervous self through your brain over and over. What you want to say is “I am confident and it shows” then you’ll have this image in your mind of yourself in a confident pose, and see others admiring you for it, and so that is the image and attitude you’ll take with you to the interview.
If you like, start by using some of the PA’s I listed that appeal to you. Change them to fit your situation and eventually you will work out your own list. Just remember … keep it concise, simple, and positive. And keep practicing!
Tiny Moments for Powerful Affirmation
Lately I’ve been blogging a bit about the life changing power of directing and controlling the chatterbox inside your head. So now I thought it would be helpful to give some specifics of how I have been practicing this inner-self talk.
For years I’ve had a morning hot tub time routine. I stretch and let the water jets work the kinks out of my lower back and neck, silently counting the number of seconds I hold each position. So a few weeks ago, there I was in my hot tub counting away and suddenly I thought “Hey wait a minute. Why not use this hot tub time to practice my positive affirmations?†(Or my “PA’s” as I like to call them.) So now I repeat “I’m strong and worthy” 50 or 100 times instead of counting seconds. Then I change positions and silently repeat in my head multiple times “I am healthy and happy”.
It’s amazing what this little exercise can do to help you in your daily life and it can be done in odd spare moments. It’s something you can do while waiting in line at the store, on your drive to work, as you shower, etc. Even in the middle of a busy, stressful day you can steal a moment at your desk to do some deep breathing and PAs (and on such days, this will really help!) I do PAs specific to my task all the time now. For instance, when I am playing a tennis match, I run through my physical and tennis PA’s as I play and between points.
Next week, I’ll share even more specific PAs and help you keep a focus on them until they become a habit. If you missed the articles about PAs, see the list at the end of this blog and start practicing this simple but powerful little exercise and see for yourself how it can really improve your life and how you see it!
Feed Your Subconcious Powerful Positive Words
I’ve been thinking about my mentor and good friend Paul J Meyer (1928-2009) a bit this week. I have an entire chapter about Paul on page 173 of my book How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. He was just that influential to me and to many other people. Probably the most important thing I learned from him was the life changing power of “positive affirmations”. Like other great things that I thought I learned, at some point I stopped practicing and fell out of the habit of using affirmations in my everyday life. But I’m making a great effort to change that.
Paul believed that affirmations could work miracles in just about everything we do. And I believe it too. You know the adage that if you say something enough times, you’ll believe it? Well, since your inner self is always listening to what you say and what you think, repeating positive statements about something as if it already happened will have you believing it and acting on that belief. And if it’s not already true, it will be soon enough!
I find it astounding that the mere uttering of certain words and phrases can change our lives. But it can and it does. The only real hurdle to having the power of positive words work for you is committing to practicing it. It’s the same as keeping in physical shape by exercising. You have to keep doing it your whole life if you want to stay in shape and reap the benefits. This is a lesson I’m relearning now. I certainly hope I don’t forget this great lesson and keep feeding my subconscious lots of positive words for every part of my life.
Limit Your Goals, Focus your Power
I ran across a great quote today:
Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all of your energies on a limited set of targets.
~ Nido Qubein
How true. Trying to work on all the goals you have simultaneously means you will need to split your time and resources among them and are less likely to reach them or at least not to the extent that you might have hoped to. But what if you spent all your time and resources on one goal?
For example, maybe you’d like to be a great tennis, baseball, hockey and football player. Can you imagine anyone trying to work out, practice and play all those games during the same time period? You could do it but you wouldn’t be that great at any one of them. Now, if you picked just one and put all your work outs and practice time into getting ready for it, don’t you think you’d be very good if not great at that one sport?
If you set multiple goals this year, choose just one or two to work at present. Pick the most important or the most urgent. And if you choose two, try to pick ones that are in two different areas of your life, like one being to improve your career while the other is a personal health goal so you only have one thing to focus on in each area.
I’m not saying you need to put aside or forget your other goals. You can always work a little here and there on them, preparing for the time when you can give them the focus needed to work effectively. The bottom line is, you should concentrate on a “limited set of targets” so you are going after them with enough energy and enthusiasm to be super successful!
Making 2012 Your Year of Change
2011 is being called the Year of the Protestor. From the uprising in Tunisia in January that ignited the courage of others in nearby countries for months afterwards to the Moscow rallies in the last weeks of the year, the common people rose up to protest injustice and oppression and forced people to hear them and to change. It was inspiring to see what people could accomplish when they stood up and rallied against the powers that be but it was also sad to hear of the violence and pain that had to be endured to enact the changes the protestors were after. But change did come in many countries simply because so many people persisted even when it was terribly difficult and even when it was life threatening. They were unshakably dedicated to their purpose and that made all the difference.
I wish the protests did not have to include the violence and pain and I hope that things will soon settle down with peace and freedom for these people that have suffered for so long. But pain or discomfort or just frustrating moments usually accompany change and is the reason why people commonly shy from fighting for it.
We are very lucky here that what we have to fight for are not basic freedoms or a life without constant fear of pain or death. We have our hard times, but the choices we have are, for the most part, within our grasp and what we have to work through is not so hard compared with what people in so many countries we watched this past year went through.
How about making 2012 a year of real change here, in our own lives? Let’s choose to take on the challenges that will make a better life for ourselves, our family, our friends and everyone we work with. All we need to do is keep focused on our goals, those end results, that will make our lives so much richer. And if it gets tough, just think of those people who rose up against their oppressive governments and what must have stuck in their mind to keep them so determined. You can be so determined too. Just keep your eye on the prize and keep in mind what the change will mean for your life.
Push Yourself in 2012
As we come upon the end of another year, I’ve been thinking about what I’ve done this past year and what I want to do this next year. And in the process my thoughts turn to what I’m going to be writing to you all. And I find myself hoping that many, if not most of you will go out in 2012 and take big risks, chase your dreams, and really put your all into getting what you want out of life.
You are probably many times more capable, talented, and resourceful than you give yourself credit for. These last few years have been hard with the economy repressed as it is and we’ve seen so many people– friends, family … even ourselves—feeling it in our businesses, the loss of jobs, the difficulty in finding work. But you know, you can make the present and your future what you want it to be regardless of all that. The route to your goals may not always be so fast and direct, but there is always a way.
This year, promise yourself you will take chances, push yourself, and find a way to make significant progress towards, if not attain, the goals you have. You’ll be amazed by what you can do and will feel energized and more alive just for making that great effort and even more so when you see what you can accomplish!
I hope you and yours have the most wonderful and bright New Year.
Family is Where the Heart Lies
On the eve of our Christmas weekend, I have to say my thoughts are very much with my family. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful, supportive, fun, and loving family. I know many of you feel the same way. But on the other hand, I have known too many people that don’t have strong bonds with their relatives. The reasons for this are all over the map but in the end, these reasons aren’t as relevant as realizing what family really means and being with your true family on the holidays.
The phrase “Home is where the heart is” can be easily transformed into “Family is where the heart is”. It’s the same thing. I saw a news segment this week about a gentleman who won the lottery but without even a bit of hesitation has already determined he will not be leaving his job. Why? Because, he says, his work crew is his family. That is where he feels he belongs and no amount of money is going to buy him that feeling anywhere else. I thought that was great.
I hope you all are able to be at the place where your heart lies this weekend, where the people who make you feel loved and that you belong among them are gathered around you. If it’s not actually your relatives, then hopefully you are surrounding yourself with those friends who know you well, the people you laugh with and the people who are there for you 24/7. This weekend, I hope you are exactly where you want to be and make sure all those around you know how much they are loved and appreciated.
A very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all.
My Three Minute Friend
Last week I was at Wal-Mart and a single mom in line just in front of me was holding a few extra items as the clerk added up the bill. She kept asking what the total was as she anxiously clutched the extra possible purchases. When the total got to 40 dollars she told the clerk that would be all and she laid the other items aside saying she only had 40 dollars.
As she paid for her purchases, I reached over and pushed the items she was leaving behind over to my pile. “I want to buy those items for my new friend,” I told the clerk. I bought them and handed them to her and, wow … she thanked me over and over again. And so did the clerk!
I walked out of the store feeling on top of the world. You’d think I had given her 1000 dollars although it was in reality only a $7.49 gift. On the other hand, it felt like a million dollars in satisfaction and warm feelings for me.
Even though I have done this type of thing many times before and for a lot more money, it never fails to feel like a unique and special experience. This last experience felt especially wonderful. Maybe it was that look in her eye that let me know this truly made a difference for her this holiday season–not just because of the few dollars I spent but because a complete stranger cared enough to help. She said Merry Christmas to me several times as she took her 7 year old daughter by the hand (who, of course, had a new 2 dollar bill that I had given her for “good Luck” like I so often do.)
I know a whole lot of people who do this same thing–there was a report on the news recently about a rash of anonymous people going into Wal-Marts and paying off layaways for complete strangers, some spending thousands of dollars so they could help multiple families! What I did was not unique but it might be for some of my readers. So I thought I ought to remind you all, once again, that if you have never done this type of thing to go out and give it a try. You will be so surprised at the great feeling that it gives you and the stranger that receives your gift. Try it at least once. I promise you’ll love it.
The Joy of Giving … to Strangers
I have a colleague whose family has done something rather remarkable to help get them out of that crazy holiday shopping rush and help others while they are at it. She has a big family so she had to shop for 21 immediate family members as well as her own children, husband, friends and co-workers. It was a huge chore for the whole family and eventually deteriorated into an exchange of impersonal gift cards. But one year they decided it had to change. The whole spirit of the holidays felt lost to them.
First thing they did was change it so each person only bought for one other person in the family. That way what was bought could be more unique and special. But the really cool thing was they reduced their spending on each other to a fraction of what it had been and took the rest of their budget and spent it on complete strangers. They have charities in most cities that arrange things so you can buy for an entire family who is too impoverished to afford a real holiday. So now my colleague’s family goes shopping for others, buying clothes, toys, and a grocery gift card so their ‘adopted’ family can have something to open Christmas day and enjoy a special holiday meal. It gives them all such a great feeling to be giving to those who could use the gifts so much more than them and the young people in the family get to really experience the giving nature of the season and have come to love it. I thought that was just super.
For those of us fortunate enough, the gifts we get this season will often be expected–obligatory, picked from a provided list, or bought with a random guess. And that’s because when we have so much to do and so many people on our gift lists we just don’t have the time to make it special for each and every person. It’s still the thought that counts but what if you could make a few of the gifts be so special that they will be remembered for years? What if we all took a little of our gift budget and gave it to people that don’t expect anything of us? It doesn’t have to be a whole family; it could just be one person. That widow that lives down the street, the new employee at work that hasn’t really gotten to know anyone yet, a lonely soul at a nursing home, children at an orphanage, or an old friend you haven’t contacted in years. Wouldn’t that be something?
