The Healing Power of Laughter
I know the subject matter has been a little heavy the last couple posts–not that it’s any wonder after spending those couple weeks in the hospital watching over my wife. She is doing better every day, by the way. Thank you all for your support and well wishes.
I want to talk more about taking care of yourself but this time, I want to talk about one of the easiest ways to help keep your mind, body and spirit in good shape–laughing. I think human beings have always known that laughter had wonderful side benefits. You even see a reference in the Old Testament to the healing properties of humor: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.†Although life can be difficult and, at times, discouraging, you can always inject a little humor into your day to pick you up and reduce your worry.
Norman Cousins, in his book “Anatomy of an Illness,†strongly believes that humor cured his debilitating disease. He watched old Marx Brothers movies and allowed himself to laugh uncontrollably. Eventually, he was able to overcome his disease and lived a long and healthy life into his 80s. By laughing!
Laughter has been shown to reduce pain, bolster the immune system and decrease destructive levels of stress. The process of making a joke about something we find dire or frightful can also put situations and how we deal with them into perspective and show us these things aren’t as overwhelming or as scary as they might first appear.
So, if things are getting tough, just remember to laugh (appropriately of course!) Laugh at yourself, laugh at difficult coincidences, look for the silliness in a situation and just let yourself laugh. When you need outside help with this, do as Norman did and watch a funny show or movie or read a humorous book. Get together with friends and let them know you need a good laugh and see if things don’t start to look much brighter and lighter.
**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
My Own Self-Check List, Part 2
So … did you go through the questions I gave you last week, the ones that will help you focus on becoming super successful? Did you find that they brought up all kinds of ideas and aspects of yourself and your life you hadn’t thought about too much before?
Today, I have an additional ten questions for you. These really get into the big picture of who you are and what you want. Go ahead and actually write down your answers. If there are any answers that you aren’t happy with–things you discover that you would like to change or know you need to address–highlight them. Then spend some time either journaling or talking to friends and family about what you need to do so that not too long from now, you can answer these questions with positive statements that show you know who you are and where you are going with your life.
11. Have I set goals big enough to energize my mind, body and soul to the point that these objectives are my core or dominant thoughts?
12. Do I want to be my own boss?
13. Do people like me and can I inspire others with my dreams and goals so they will follow me and help me achieve my objectives?
14. Am I a generalist who can delegate to others or a specialist who must do everything myself?
15. Do I have a great degree of intuitive ability or am I very gullible and can easily be deceived?
16. Am I able to take major disappointment and bounce right back?
17. Do I have the right paradigm or view of the world that will drive the right attitude in myself? (I must always remember that if I don’t like my life I must change my attitude and thinking.)
18. Do I use the huge and great power of “choice”? (Mankind’s most powerful attribute)
19. Do I ‘borrow’ the brains of others through personal contacts, books, cd’s, podcasts, texting, emails etc.?
20. Can I, and do I, adapt and adjust my goals to economic, political, technological, and relationship changes?
What topics would you like to read more about? What are your favorite posts you’ve read so far? Help me make this blog as helpful as possible to you and the other readers by letting me know what you’d like to read more of at marko@reincome.com. —MOH.
The White Bear Experiment
I am sure, like me, you know some people who seem to have an endless supply of willpower and others that don’t seem to have a single once of it. Most of us are somewhere in the middle. And of course what we hope to find is “the secret” or a “formula†that will give us what we need. You might not believe this but researchers have uncovered a kind of secret that can be used by just about everyone that will amp up a person’s willpower. And it’s already, literally, there in your head.
First let me tell you about the “white bear” experiment. A number of years ago a professor at Trinity University in Texas instructed a number of students to NOT think about white bears for 5 minutes. Well they tried but they couldn’t do it. In fact the harder they tried the more that white bear thought would pop into their minds. Kelly McGonigal PhD, in her book The Willpower Instinct says, “The effect was strongest when people were already stressed out, tired or distracted.” Daniel Wegner, the professor that conducted the experiment, dubbed “this effect†as the “ironic rebound”. You push a thought away and it just boomerangs back.
Now what the heck does this have to do with a “breakthrough” to increase your willpower? Well, Kelly McGonigal goes on to explain in her book that “thought suppression” doesn’t work because of how our brains are wired but we can work around it. You’ll want to read her book to get the details about this but what I can tell you right now is a little about how to work with what your brain does. What you do is accept that bad or wrong thought which will give you great power to lead your brain to where you want it to be and very likely change or direct your behavior into something more positive and constructive. Here are just a few of Kelly’s suggestions that you can try yourself when you need more self-discipline or willpower.
1—Notice when are thinking about your temptation or feeling a craving.
2—Accept the thought or feeling without trying to immediately distract yourself or argue with it. Remind yourself of the white-bear rebound effect.
3—Step back by realizing that thoughts and feelings aren’t always under your control, but you can choose whether to act on them.
4—Remember your goal. Remind yourself of whatever your commitment is and what it means to you.
**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
Beating Procrastination
I know I’ve been giving you a lot of suggestions lately for things I know will improve your life. The ideas seem easy enough but actually getting yourself to do these things can be tricky. Our old friend procrastination is getting in the way again.
People procrastinate for different reasons. The task may seem too difficult or you’re afraid you’ll fail or you just really don’t like doing that kind of thing. But … it’s on your to-do list because what you get out of completing the task is what you want. So, let’s focus on that.
In Neil Fiore’s book, The Now Habit, he emphasizes paying attention to our language. If you keep saying to yourself and others that you “need” to get something done or “should” be working on this or that, you make it sound like such a chore. When you say “Need” or “must”, you are essentially telling yourself that you don’t have a choice, that you are forced to do this thing. And when we don’t feel like we have choices and control, we rebel. So tell yourself “I want to do this” which mentally places you in control—you have chosen to do it. You may not like the task itself that much but in changing how you talk about it you aren’t saying you like the work but rather that you “want” the outcome. If you focus on what you want and not what you dread, it’s so much easier to do because it’s associated with something positive and desirable.
Now, if you spend a lot of time saying “I should get that done” you’re just reprimanding yourself–“You should get it done because you haven’t yet and who knows if you ever will!” This can make you depressed as you’re bound to agree with your inner voice. Nothing will get done that way.
Change it to “I want to get that done.†That adds a positive note and the sense that completing the task is something you desire. Stating our desires is usually followed up by the question “How am I going to get what I want?” so that you are more likely to figure out how and when you’ll have time to get it done. And next thing you know, you’re doing it!
So next time you’re faced with a dreaded project or looming task, just say, “Here is something I want to do and I can’t wait to get it done!” and see how much more you get accomplished and how much easier it seems to do it!
**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
The Great Advantages of Focusing on Others
The Dalai Lama said two very profound things in his book The Compassionate Life
“The moment you think only of yourself, the focus of your whole reality narrows, and because of this narrow focus, uncomfortable things can appear huge and bring you fear and discomfort and a sense of feeling overwhelmed by misery”.
Then next he said, “The moment you think of others with a sense of caring, however, your view widens. Within that wider perspective, your own problems appear to be of little significance …”
That difference, a singular shift in how you choose to look upon the world, influences both your mental and physical health. There, in a nutshell, is one of the biggest and best lessons of life—keep everyone and everything in a positive perspective.
But how do you gain that perspective, if you find you are dwelling mostly on you and your problems? You program yourself through the use of positive affirmations.
I began repeating the following every morning and I immediately noticed a difference in my conversations and relationships — it gave me a new and immensely genuine level of interest in other people’s lives and challenges and it’s a very simple statement: “I love people and I carefully listen to them.”
Loving and getting along with other people is so very critical. The effect on your mental health is probably easy to imagine but there are also studies showing a strong connection between how we interact with people and our physical health. The more positive you are about others and how you relate to them, the more positive an impact this will have on you both mentally and physically.
Choose the above PA or create one that truly strikes you and repeat several times every day. Keeping focused on others will make life better for both them and you.
Stop Giving Power to your Problems
Here’s something we all tend to do but for no good reason most of the time–complain. Why? It doesn’t really help anything. In fact it can be mentally devastating. Sure, we all have problems that we want to vent about but it doesn’t usually solve the problem. Worse than that though, most of us wrongly think that these problems–a lawsuit, terrible relationship, sickness, financial problem or whatever–are the source of our unhappiness and all we have to do is get rid of that problem to make our life perfect. But that idea is just a dream.
About the time you solve your current challenge I guarantee something else will pop up and take its place. Sometimes these will not be as big as the one you just got through but other times they will be worse. If you don’t come to the realization that life’s challenges never really end then you will go on complaining (whether it’s out loud or to yourself) and that negative mindset will make your challenges seem bigger and more terrible since the complaining gives energy and life to the problem.
On the other hand if you come to accept that life will always be filled with bumps and challenges then you can prepare yourself to deal with whatever comes your way. The best part is that preparation can be done in that little super power space between your ears, with wonderful, simple and effective practices such as prayer, meditation or positive affirmations. Amazing, isn’t it? You can make huge problems very small with just your thoughts. All that power is within you.
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PAs … a different kind of Prayer
I know we’ve spent a lot of posts on the subject of your inner voice but I feel it’s that important. I am also hoping that each post finds you still dedicated to making the changes you need to make, forming a habit of doing daily positive affirmations and keeping the awareness of what you are saying in your mind in the forefront until its automatic for you to bury or not even bring up the self-sabotaging language.
Recently it dawned on me that positive affirmations are a lot like praying or meditation. It seems that they are pretty much the same thing with the same basic results.
Maybe part of the reason they usually have the same positive results is because when a person prays or meditates, he or she rarely prays or meditates in a negative way–just like positive affirmations. Think about it … when a person prays are complaints or negative commentary part of their prayers? No, I don’t think so. It is more commonly about giving thanks and/or asking for something good to happen in their lives. Same thing with proper meditation–you don’t complain inside your head and just like repeating PA’s over and over, you do it to drown out or silence the negative chatter that is always trying to take over.
So if it helps, think of your positive inner chatter and affirmations as calm, confident prayers or mediation. Negativity has no place here. It’s all about the good you can and will do for yourself, your loved ones and the world around you.
Share the Power of Affirmations
There is an old Zen saying: “To know and not to do is not yet to know.†I still find it hard to believe I got so far away from using the power of my own subconscious for so long. Yes, I’m still talking about Positive Affirmations. Are you practicing them? Have you seen just how powerful they can be? I use to know and work on them all the time but somewhere along the way I got complacent and figured that I didn’t need to “practice” or maybe I just got lazy … or probably both.
Thankfully, I was reminded about something I thought I already knew. I have said it before but it needs saying again … I owe so much to Susan Jeffers’ book “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”. She and Jack Canfield retaught me what I thought I already knew. I sincerely hope that whoever may be reading this blog is reminded and helped by this very powerful technique just as much as I was. I know it can lead whoever practices it to anything and everything they want out of life.
Also, be sure to share it with others. You’ll be glad you did when you see what wonderfully positive things it does for people lives. In fact if you like this or any past blogs I have written, please pass them on to your friends and relatives. I would be very grateful but most importantly I know that it will benefit them. Thank you and please spread the word.
The Powerful Link Between PA’s and Goal Setting
All this talk of positive affirmations (PA’s) got me thinking about the critical and close connections between PA’s and goal setting. Is there a serious connection between the two?? Absolutely!
PA’s really are the basics of goal setting. A goal is obviously something you’ve thought about and decided it’s important enough to act on. If you’re smart you will have written it down. If you’re really smart you will have also put a deadline on it. By doing this you’ve feed a message to your mind and reinforced it by making a visual note on paper and, yes, your subconscious, which has just been sitting there waiting for directions, is now being told what to do and what to believe.
So no matter what the goal is that you’ve stored in your mind and put on paper, the ever vigilant and very smart subconscious says “Ok … that’s what you want to do so we’ll do it!” Remember it doesn’t matter whether it’s positive or negative –your subconscious doesn’t care. It will get to work on it as soon as you plant the seed and keep working on it even while you sleep or think about something else. That sneaky inner brain obeys and thinks “I’ll keep at this until you call me off or change your mind and goals.”
Of course, if you feed it negative stuff or if you don’t keep practicing positive PA’s the subconscious (SubCon) will be just as content to let the negative PA’s dominate — remember it just doesn’t care–it’s job is to do what you tell it to do without question. That is pretty powerful stuff.
Feed Your Subconcious Powerful Positive Words
I’ve been thinking about my mentor and good friend Paul J Meyer (1928-2009) a bit this week. I have an entire chapter about Paul on page 173 of my book How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. He was just that influential to me and to many other people. Probably the most important thing I learned from him was the life changing power of “positive affirmations”. Like other great things that I thought I learned, at some point I stopped practicing and fell out of the habit of using affirmations in my everyday life. But I’m making a great effort to change that.
Paul believed that affirmations could work miracles in just about everything we do. And I believe it too. You know the adage that if you say something enough times, you’ll believe it? Well, since your inner self is always listening to what you say and what you think, repeating positive statements about something as if it already happened will have you believing it and acting on that belief. And if it’s not already true, it will be soon enough!
I find it astounding that the mere uttering of certain words and phrases can change our lives. But it can and it does. The only real hurdle to having the power of positive words work for you is committing to practicing it. It’s the same as keeping in physical shape by exercising. You have to keep doing it your whole life if you want to stay in shape and reap the benefits. This is a lesson I’m relearning now. I certainly hope I don’t forget this great lesson and keep feeding my subconscious lots of positive words for every part of my life.
