Goal Busting Formula

As mentioned last week, there really is a formula for making your big goals actually happen, and it takes more than thinking and wishing them to come true. So, there is a kind of formula for successful goal setting that you need to apply to all your big goals.

• Be clear about what you want and go big.
• Set lots of small goals broken up into daily and weekly goals so they feel, and actually are, achievable.
• Write your goals down and review them often.
• Remember to always keep busy. Research suggests that a broad goal of simply staying busy is better than doing nothing and will help keep you happy.
• It takes 66 days to change a habit and 80 days to develop a solid, healthy habit so keep working at your goal until pushing through those steps become the habit you want it to be.
• When it comes to that good ol’ self-talk, it has been shown that asking yourself rather than telling yourself that you are going to reach a goal is much more effective. So, start asking the question “Can I reach my goal of _______?” Then answer by saying “Yes, I can!”
• The key to change and control is “awareness”. Pound that into your head. Always be aware and observe your internal dialog, paying close attention to what you are thinking. Yes, that’s thinking about thinking and if you do that consistently you will find that it helps you see what you need to change and how to change it.
• According to David DiSalvo’s book, What Makes the Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite, you should spend more time reading about people who use self-control and discipline. By doing that, you will boost your own self-control and self-discipline.

Now that you have a list to go by, go ahead! Create those goals and take the steps needed to make them happen! It’s just not enough to really want it. Take action and use your desire and passion to fuel it.

Next week, we’ll talk about ways to make reaching your goal even easier.

Royal Reality

As I wrote last week, the death of my older brother right in from of me shook me up for the rest of my life. Probably more than anything else, the simple fact that life is fragile and so very short and can end at any moment, has been forcefully pushed in my face and inside my heart.

At the tender age of 15, I suddenly knew for sure that life could be finished in an instant. I knew that fact from an intellectual point of view as well as an emotional one. But knowing such a thing became a huge wakeup call that drove me to do more–much more–not only then, but throughout my life. Since then, I’ve always had an acute sense of time’s passing and of its absolute and undeniable precious value.

Without question, my first big goal after that great tragedy was to play professional basketball. In my 15-year-old brain I just felt that if I became a great basketball player it would make sense out of my brother’s death. So, I took off chasing that dream. However, there was a problem. I had a great dream but without a great plan, could I really reach that goal? Oh yes, I had a good mind set, and a pretty firm one, but what my young brain didn’t realize was that there is so much more to a winning formula than setting a big goal.

Today I like to tell people, “Yes, I played basketball at Utah State University.” Then I slowly admit that I didn’t actually play very much, but I had a great seat on the bench. I slowly gave up my great dream to be that next Bob Cousy—one of the great players back then.  

It was tough to hang on to a goal that seemed to be slipping further away with each game. I wasn’t tall enough and I was at least one step too slow. Besides—and this was probably the biggest thing holding me back—I didn’t have a well thought out plan of attack that would have set out the details of all the workouts, ultra conditioning, and extra dedication I should have added to my training, both on and off season. I pretty much just dreamed about playing pro basketball. I thought, “I’m going to be professional. I’m going to be a big basketball star. I’m going to be like Bob Cousy, some day!” Nice thoughts, but I had no thought-out plan!

It was during those college years that I began to learn the rest of the formula, or the rest of the code and pathway that lifts a person into the rarified air that transforms great dreams into great goals, and then all the way through to one’s own “royal reality”. I’ll talk more about that formula and what it can do for you in upcoming posts.  

Don’t Live Without Passion.

It doesn’t take much thought to realize that life really is too short, so you just have to live every day with more passion! Time squandered, is time wasted.

Most people, when looking back at their lives, are in more pain over the things they didn’t do rather than over the things they failed at while trying to do them. Yes, I do believe most of us would rather try and fail than never try at all. Why is that? I think it’s in our nature as humans to want to receive long lasting and deep satisfaction from struggle and hard work, because even if we fall short of our objective, at least we know we tried.

I’ve certainly had my share of failures and tragedies. But I wouldn’t have it any other way because, in most of those failures, I’ve learned so many huge lessons that, in the long run, greatly enhanced my life.

Let me briefly tell you my own story. It was a “Sudden Death Wake Up Call”.

I had a pretty ordinary beginning into this life. Born in Portland, Oregon in 1944 (that means next year I hit the big 80 mark!), I was the second born in my family, so I was always trying to prove myself, to measure up to my older brother.

My life and my mindset were forever shocked and changed when, at the age of 15, my older brother died, literally, at my feet, while playing basketball. We were in an outdoor stadium halfway around the world in Ankara, Turkey. That one life-shaking event permanently altered my way of thinking, something that is with me to this very day, yes, even as I write these words. As I express myself and think about the big picture of life, it helps me understand that life can be gone in a moment. It’s a sobering thought.

Yep, we all have an end to our life, or as some people say, “Nobody gets out of here alive.” It doesn’t matter how rich or powerful you are, you and I really have a fairly short time to be here on planet earth. So, all of us need to live with passion right now and go after the things in life that we really want. Not only will you get more out of life, but it will also give you a great and powerful lift to your mind and body.

Next week I am going to write more about this event with my brother and how it pushed me to see the bigger picture of life and death. It makes me much more accepting of our hardships and every day it pushes me to live in this “right now moment”. I’ll write more about my early life and goals that I set for myself, some of which I reached but not all of them!

Road to Long-Term Happiness

I was looking through my past posts this week and came across one that mentions a great book, Authentic Happiness, by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D. and was reminded of how important it is to have goals that give us authentic happiness.

In his book, Dr. Seligman talks about what real authentic happiness is and how we can capture it and keep it. Finding and enjoying real happiness is not done through seeking and finding pleasure and the same goes for seeking happiness through just staying busy—it just doesn’t work. Great and authentic happiness is experienced from earned gratification. So how do we become gratified?

Much of our gratification comes from producing something of great value to others and/or ourselves. This gives us a great feeling of satisfaction. Dr. Seligman lists 8 common components of gratification we want to have in the things we pursue:

1. The task is challenging and requires skill.
2. We have to concentrate.
3. There are clear goals.
4. We get immediate feedback.
5. We have deep effortless involvement.
6. There is a sense of control.
7. Sense of self vanishes.
8. Time seems to stop.

Dr. Seligman goes on to talk about depression in today’s world and how widespread it is. It has increased by a huge amount in the last 40 years and the average age of depressed people is much younger today.

Depression is also unexpectedly high in wealthy and healthy countries. The author’s theory is that “an ethos that builds unwarranted self-esteem, espouses victimology, and encourages rampant individualism has contributed to that epidemic.” Another reason is our huge reliance on shortcuts to happiness… online entertainment, drugs, shopping, spectator sports, and high sugar food and drinks. These things are enjoyable in the moment but don’t give us any long-term satisfaction.

A major symptom of depression is self-absorption, which a lot of shortcuts to happiness can feed. Depressed people think about how they feel a great deal of the time. When they detect internal sadness, they ruminate about it, projecting it into the future, this in turn increases their sadness in their life and across all their activities.

What we all need to do more of is realize that there are no shortcuts to the kind of fulfilling gratification we all crave, and realize we need to focus more and more on our goals, taking on big tasks, and increasing our long-term production as well as giving up the constant self-worry and self-absorption.

You may have noticed that really happy people, for the most part, spend the least amount of time home alone, involved in these shortcuts to happiness. They tend to have a rich and fulfilling social life along with jobs, goals, or hobbies they are passionate about. When your life is built around social and productive activities, you get more of that long-term happiness, feeling gratified for days or weeks or even years to come.  

Surefire Goal Success

To have and use goals in our lives is so very, very important and I sure believe that it was when I set a goal years ago to make it to millionaire status, that this decision became the most critical resolution of my financial life.

Goal setting really is a kind of magic, one that really works. Of course, there are a couple of things that truly drive a person to reach their goals. I’ve written about this before but it’s so important in our lives and, besides, when I write about stuff like this, it pushes me to make sure I keep striving to do these things I’m telling you are so good for your life.

One of the critical things that give you a huge push to accomplish whatever goal you set is writing it down on paper or on your computer. You see, for me, when I write it down, especially on paper, and post it somewhere I can easily see it, I get to review it daily which is a really huge help.

In my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, I have a chapter, Chapter 7, entitled “The Surefire Way to Stick with Every Goal”. Now, let me tell you about this while I basically plagiarize my own writing. (Don’t tell my wife!)

In that chapter, I write about how to stick with your goals, including using B-RAM, which stands for Benefits, Reasons, and Motivations. This is a list of clearly defined reasons why you want to go after your chosen goal. Now, how does that work?

First of all, you have to think through what your big dream is. Second, you want to know for sure that that this big dream is what you really want out of life, and you can do that by writing down all the benefits, reasons, and motivations – your B-RAM. Third, write the goal down with a timeframe attached.

After you know what you want and why, and you have set your goal, you need to work out an action plan, breaking the goal into short and medium interim goals and action items. That list, especially when written down, pushes you to achieve what you have set as your goal. This little formula has worked for me with relationships, making tons of money, and even winning a gold medal in tennis at the Huntsman World Senior Games.

Most experts agree that if the benefits are powerful enough and if we have strong enough reasons, then our motivation will burn white hot inside of us, to the point that nothing in the world can stop us. So, in those moments that you may feel discouraged, take out your B-RAM lists and read them over and over again. This will re-motivate you and, again, turn on all your mental and physical juices and energy. The likelihood of you remaining down or wanting to quit will be much, much less. Believe me–I know it works!

So, I really hope that you will try this and maybe even teach it to others like your kids, your friends, and anyone that you truly want to help!

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