The Most Important Steps are the Small Ones

Here’s a thought that’s been coming to the top of my mind a lot recently–it’s about taking seriously all the little things we have to do to reach our goals. I’ve put off some small things I need to do as I have been rather occupied lately traveling. I’ve had all these wonderful conversations with intriguing people and my mind and spirit are overflowing! I do love talking about BIG ideas and courageous goals but those grand visions aren’t realizable without all the individual steps you take in between.

In Chapter 6 of my book, How To Ignite Your Passion for Living, I talk about how to make a big dream do-able by breaking it down into all the smaller steps. But also consider that it’s the small steps and the individual decisions you make, not the big ideas you have, that determine if you are successful. If just a few of your small steps take you off the path, or you fail to take those small steps, your big, grand, genius ideas just aren’t going to happen.

So next time you put off the small things which you may not like to do, or for which you find other activities more pleasant, remember those are the building blocks of your dreams and every time you decide to do something else other than take a small necessary step, you are stepping away from your dream, not just an unpleasant task.

Your Life’s Biggest Stars

In my home office I have a bunch of pictures of me with famous people including the Dali Lama, President Bush, Michail Gorbochev, Lech Velessa, and many more. In the middle of these photos, there is a big sign that reads “PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW ME” because I want to make it clear, I’ve meet these people and it’s kind of cool to share that moment but the fact is, they don’t know me and aren’t the important people that have really affected and changed my life.

Being famous is really no more than a characteristic of a person’s life, like having kids or knowing three languages. Famous people are just people working through the trials and tribulations of life, just like the rest of us. But there are people that we meet that truly are important and touch our lives. These are often our friends, colleagues, family and even strangers. The fact is, the only people that are truly exciting and amazing to meet are the ones that enrich your life through their friendship, knowledge, and/or inspiring actions.

So, who have been the real stars in your life? What have they done that have made them shine in your mind? These are the kind of people you want to meet. Just keep in mind, to meet more of these kinds of people you need to get out there, network, and give serendipity a chance to bring them your way.

Recognizing You Own Stardom

Last week we went to a great concert and, using a few connections I had, we got backstage and meet some amazing people, like, well, Bono, as you can see in the picture here. Was I thrilled to meet him? Sure. But meeting that big of a star really isn’t what you might expect.

It’s strange that we all kind of feel that if we meet a famous person it will somehow make us more important or more interesting or will somehow change our lives. It really doesn’t do that, except maybe in our own heads. In the end, they are just people, like anyone else you run into.

Knowing that they are just people tends to make you realize that these, essentially, regular human beings could be you. So what is the difference between you and famous people? Some of them were just lucky but more often they were persistent, highly motivated and had a great support system–all things that you can or do have.

So are there really any superstars? Well, yes. You. You are the superstar of your life. What you do, what you accomplish, even what you attempt, are all reasons to be proud and ‘star struck’. Your actions are what will differentiate you and your life, for yourself and the people closest to you, not meeting someone who has reached the kind of success that simply gets them noticed.

If you feel like success has been eluding you though, take a look (or another look) at my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, for some in depth ideas on setting and accomplishing your goals and get to work on your own life of stardom.

Never retire–Re-fire!

Recently I got a phone call from a friend I knew when we were 20. As it turns out my friend, Keith Karren, has written a great book, “Boomer”, about the issues facing baby boomers as they head into retirement. Throughout the book Keith keeps saying, “Never retire–just re-fire”, a sentiment not very different from what I say in my book “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. However, Keith goes a little deeper when it comes to applying this to retirement.

We got to talking about this huge problem that most retired people face. They find themselves thinking “Who am I if I am no longer a business person, teacher, doctor, pilot or clerk?” Sure, at first it seems just wonderful not to have to go to work every day but after a while you miss the structure, camaraderie, goals, etc. You say “Oh, I’m retired now” when people ask what you do and you don’t even know what that means. If you think about it, retired is a terrible word. It comes across as a label that says your life is over, that it is worthless and has little or no meaning.

Well my old friend Keith writes all about this problem in his book. When I first read “Never retire–just re-fire” I was myself, fired up by this phrase. The idea of re-firing is to get you excited or re-excited about living. It means setting new goals and totally re-energizing yourself for this next phase of your life. And that’s a heck of a lot better than sitting around waiting to die. When you retire, you still have another 25-35 years of living yet to do. Just think of all you did in your last 35 years! That’s a lot of time to do a ton of exciting and productive things. Just trade in your retirement for a bit of re-fire-ment!

The Power Tool of Goal Setting: B-RAM

The last couple posts I talked about some of the essential components to success including taking action and writing out your goal. Without them you can’t even get started. But what will keep you going once you do get started? All the best intentions are not going to help you when things get really challenging.

Take dieting, as an example. You go out to eat and you’re sitting there with your Caesar salad while your companions chow down prime rib and pizza and your mouth is salivating nonstop. You begin to wonder why in the world are you are dieting when you could just be enjoying yourself. But, the next day, a glance at yourself in the mirror makes you smile or you end up out playing ball with the kids for an hour instead of just ten minutes. That’s when it’s easy to remember why you’re changing the way you eat and, in those moments, you can honestly say you don’t miss those Grande mochas with whipped cream in the morning. Until your co-worker walks in with one and, again, you forget why you’re dieting. It’s then that you need a true will power tool.

That tool is something I call B-RAM. You can read about it in Chapter 7 of my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. B-RAM stands for Benefits, Reasons, and Motivations. It’s a list of the real end goals you’re after. Losing weight isn’t just about looking good—it’s about feeling better, getting off medication, reducing your risk of disease, and increasing your energy so you can do more for yourself and your family. You know this is why you do it but in those really trying moments, they are just hard to remember.

With a B-RAM list though, all you do is pull the list out and read it over. You keep that list as handy as possible. Maybe you put it on your phone, on an index card in your wallet, or on sticky notes posted on your glove compartment and bathroom mirror. The important thing about your B-RAM list is that it must list every single benefit, reason, and motivation that will make this goal worth working so hard for. The longer the list, the easier it will be to keep on track. And if you can do that, just keep yourself going, soon you won’t have to wonder why you work so hard. Because you’ll be living with those benefits, not just reading about them.

Make 2011 An Year of Action

Here we are in the first week of another new year and so many of us are making plans, renewing commitments and generally trying to figure out what we want to accomplish this year. I know I have a few things that I’m ready to get to work on including training to defend my tennis gold, bringing more passion into people’s live by booking more interviews, organizing a big gather of old friends and colleagues and, yes, I have renewed my longevity goals, continuing the tough CR (calorie restriction) diet–the only scientifically way to extend your maximum healthy life span. But regardless of what any of us plan to do, there is one thing we all have in common. We MUST take action, real solid action, for any plan, goal, or dream to become reality.

That first step, the one that shows true action and commitment, is more important than any other step you take because it will be the impetus and motivation for every step afterwards. But don’t fool yourself about what a first step is. Reading a book, looking stuff up on the internet, or asking your friends’ opinions are usually part of the planning, not the actual steps to making things happen. The first real step occurs when you invest something valuable or take a real risk with your money, time, or ego.

• Throwing out all the junk food in your house is a true first step to dieting.

• Paying a lawyer to draw up your business organization papers shows a true commitment to starting on your entrepreneurial path.

• Joining a writer’s group that requires you to write 10 pages a week makes you accountable and shows yourself and other how serious you are about writing that novel.

So what is that first important step you’ll need to take to get your plans rolling?

If you feel like you still need a little push to take that step, or need some additional inspiration, try reading my book again, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. If you haven’t read it, then definitely get a copy and do so. Then get to work. Let’s see what wonderful things we can make happen in 2011.

Living in Karma

While visiting various people in Nepal and Bhutan we were told repeatedly by both Hindu and Buddhist how they strongly believed in Karma—the concept that there is a fundamental law of nature that rewards or punishes a person because of their “thoughts, words and actions” in this life and sometimes in the next life. In my opinion, this belief system is more sensible than the common Western religious focus on a reward or punishment you’ll receive in the hereafter. With Karma, the focus is on what you can do to make your life, and the lives of those around you, better now, in the life you’re presently living.

We saw the results of this belief many times through the wonderful actions of the people in both Nepal and Bhutan. We actually ended up in a light-hearted disagreement with our very friendly and funny cab driver, Mr. Pandey, while he drove us around in Kathmandu. The issue was how much we would pay him for driving us around all day. We were trying to pay him more and he was demanding less–bet that doesn’t ever happen in New York City!

I think Mr. Pandey truly understood the value of karma and how what he did now would come back to him in this life. I’m sure that thought was what motivated him. What he probably didn’t know, was that his generosity also encouraged the creation of the brain chemicals dopamine and serotonin which gives a major boost to our sense of well-being and fulfillment. (I talk a lot about this in chapter 12 of “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. See on page 145 in particular). I’d guess Buddha was a bit of a scientist way back in the 5th century BC, even if he didn’t know exactly what the ‘energy’ that flowed through a good and generous person was.

Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone believed in, and acted on, the concept of Karma? I believe we all need to think more about Kama so our thoughts, words and actions help the world and ourselves now and maybe not think so much about our rewards in the next life. Because if there is an afterlife, there would be no better measure of a person than how well they lived each and every day of this one.

The $2 High

Last week I went on a hike to get some exercise, looking forward to the great feeling that the increase of serotonin and dopamine bring on from the exercise. In my pocket I had a handful of $2 bills which I give out to kids because it always brings a huge smile and a sincere thank you and I get a big boast myself from seeing how happy it makes them.

So while enjoying the beautiful sights of Millcreek Canyon, I passed a couple and their daughter. The little girl was crying because she had fallen on the trail. As I passed by I told the her “Be sure to keep your eyes on the trail for paper litter and if you pick some up you will be TWO lucky.” I then dropped a $2 bill a few feet on. The girl saw it, picked it up, her scrapes forgotten, and excitedly showed her parents. I kept on hiking, a big smile on my face, but soon heard them talking to another hiker about what I’d done, which made me smile even more.

A little while later I passed a slightly older girl and told her the same thing. When I dropped the $2 bill she very sweetly let me know I had dropped it. I told her to keep it for good luck. I passed this girl and her parents on the way back down and her parents stopped me, thanking me over and over and again and said their daughter thought I was an angel. That made my broad smile into an even broader grin that just wouldn’t leave my face.

By the time I’d gotten to the end of the trail, I was incredibly high on all the joy my little gestures produced as well as from the exercise. I couldn’t stop thinking about how something as small as a $2 bill could make both the giver and receiver so happy. We all go to great lengths to find a little happiness, something that makes us feel good or let’s us know what we do is worthwhile. And yet some of the smallest gestures can do this very thing, not just for you but also for others.

Take a look at Chapter 12 “The Benefits of a “God- Eye View” in my book, “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. And take a moment here and there to make someone’s day and yours as well.

The Wild Ride that is ‘Thinking Big’

Going after your dreams and achieving your goals should be like choosing rides at the amusement park. You could play it safe with the monorail, the steam train and the cutesy boat ride but did you go there to relax or be thrilled? If you shell out the bucks to be there, why not go for the monster roller coaster and the wild haunted house? Yes, there is a chance you’re going to get so scared or dizzy or motion sick that you have to sit out part of the day but at least you’ll have tried to get the most out of your trip and will certainly have memories and stories to tell.

Successful people would never be happy with taking the safer rides. They live for the thrill of the big payoff and the challenge of righting the plans that didn’t pan out. They don’t think small. They take big, confident, adventurous steps. And if you are going to be one of them, you must set aside those tiny, tentative, safe steps that have kept you creeping along with little or no progress.

If you’ve read my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, you know I’m all about taking small steps but as a way to build to something big. Those little steps are only smaller parts making up or leading to big leaps, a way to keep your tasks form getting too overwhelming and to mark your progress. Every successful goal is made up of many smaller, but still challenging, and sometimes risky, goals.

This is not to say you should throw caution to the wind. Thinking big does not mean making rash or unnecessarily large risks. The truly successful person goes after opportunities that are risky in a manageable way and he or she has a recovery plan just in case it doesn’t work out. What risk is manageable means something different to each person but it definitely means stepping out of that comfort zone.

For what is the point of living in mediocrity, of dreaming but not going for it, living a life of quiet desperation as they say? If your dream is to be wildly successful, take some wild chances–well informed chances yet challenging and thrilling. Even when it doesn’t work out quite the way you hoped it would, the ride alone is usually more than worth it.

Gold Medal Gratitude

I believe that gratitude for the contribution of others in our lives, our acknowledgment of their support, and giving credit for their part in our successes and triumphs keeps one more humble, open, and more connected to “those who brought you to the dance.”

I also believe the expression and attitude of gratitude also serves as a slingshot for greater triumph and personal satisfaction.

This is my own gold medal experience with gratitude and giving credit. I would not have had a certain personal triumph without a bunch of support, inspiration, and help mainly from three great people.

I had a goal to reach the top of the tennis rankings in my state of Utah. I certainly worked at it. But I had a problem in the way of my goal. I was hardly able to run, bend, or walk more than 200 yards without stopping because of the pain in my two arthritic hips. (See Movement Is a Must in Chapter 10, “An Umbrella Goal for LIFE” of my new book: How to IGNITE Your Passion for Living, 2008)

So how did I win the gold medal in the Men’s 60-65 Singles Tennis Tournament at last year’s Huntsman World Senior Games?

First, a ton of credit goes to Paul J. Meyer (www.success-motivation.com) who taught me by word and example to never stop setting and going after goals—he preached over and over to me to do this all my life—no matter what.

He also showed me the power of spaced repetition. What did that mean for me? It meant that I hit thousands and thousands of tennis balls warring out two ball machines in the process.

Second, I owe a huge amount of credit to the one-time most winning tennis player in the history of the game—the incomparable Australian Roy Emerson. He conducted a phenomenal one-week tennis camp high in the mountains of Switzerland that consisted of many long hours of teaching techniques, strategies, and drills that nearly wore my brand new hips to a frazzle. But what great lessons I learned!

And third … about those new hips—WOW! Without those pieces of chromium cobalt placed so perfectly by a great surgeon with steady hands and many years of experience, the example and coaching of Paul J. Meyer and Roy Emerson would not have won me the gold.

Dr. Harlan Amstutz of the Joint Replacement Institute deserves so much thanks and credit for my tennis success. He gave me my young life back.

I am so grateful!

Now about my goal of being in the top rankings for tennis in my state—as published on February 4, 2008 () I am the NUMBER ONE ranked tennis player in Utah, for my age group.

As you progress through your own life at every stage, whether you’re just starting out or you’re an old fart like me, be sure to fully realize that you owe (gratitude to) so many for helping you along your success path.

None of us, no matter how smart we think we are or even how lucky we may be,  can do it or go it alone. Take time to give credit and gratitude. It truly will amaze you how much joy and energy you will add to your life and everyone around you.

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