Breaking Out of the Boredom

Recently, I’ve been writing about how keeping a record of one’s thoughts through a journal can be very helpful down the road. I’ve also recently found a few thoughts in those journals about how bored I became when I retired and some of the smart things I did that helped me with that.

If you are retired, you probably know what I’m talking about and if you are totally busy, working hard, long hours plus taking care of your home and family responsibilities, you might not hit that boredom thing very often. It’s funny how so many of us think of work as a negative thing, when, really, it’s a blessing. I think many retired people would agree.

So, what do you do if retirement has you bored out of your mind or, if you are not even close to retirement, you find yourself bored way too much with what you are doing now? Retired or not, what I’ve found, and continue to find, is that there are many different ways to cope when boredom becomes part of our lives, but there is one approach that I think works best.

One of the best solutions to any kind of boredom is to get busy and stay busy with projects you are passionate about. You want to push yourself to do things that are not just fun but that challenge you. Specifically, you want to projects that are well thought out and that fit with what you like to do, what you are good at, and what you find exciting and fulfilling. This might be a big goal, maybe something you’ve always dreamed of doing, but haven’t tried yet out of fear.

A big goal can really wipe away boredom. The challenge of trying something big, even the fear that might come with it, can give you a real mental boost. I remember how fulfilled and not at all bored I was when I decided to have a new house built for me in Kauai. No, I wasn’t the guy who poured the cement or swung the hammer, but I decided on the floor plan that fit my personality and figured out things what things fit my lifestyle—like good indoor-outdoor living spaces. Then, just about every day, there were decisions to be made and new things to learn so I could make the best decisions, and that stuff that kept me really busy so that I was rarely, if ever, bored.

I also went back to work after retiring. I wasn’t working like I used to, but I did enough to keep me busy, starting new and exciting projects. Since I was retired, I could choose to work on things I had always thought about doing but hadn’t had the time for yet. So, I wrote another book, started this blog, and set new, bigger travel goals.

So, if you’re a bit (or a lot) bored, may I suggest you look for something challenging and new to keep you busy? If you don’t have anything in mind right now, that can be your first big goal—to come up with a list of things you want to try or do. If you are just totally busy and never bored, then don’t change anything and be thankful. But also know that circumstances can change, so keep any eye out for that awful boredom and keep busy with exciting new goals.

That Natural High

I’ve written about my kid brother Scott a lot in the previous few posts. I was with him the last day of his 75 years, but, wow, were those 75 years packed with adventure, excitement and quite a bit of risk! Danger and risk can certainly bring on a big rush, increasing the heart rate and pumping adrenaline into your system. Some people really love that kind of excitement. My brother Scott was one of those people. He loved that adrenaline rush, and he went about his life looking for more of it.

Scott loved being a cop and enjoyed working the shifts that had the most risk and excitement. He loved going after the bad guy, especially the worst of the bad, like Cameron David Bishop who was on the FBI’s most wanted list. Scott and his partner were brave enough, and aware enough, to bust this big-time crook. Yes, it was a high-risk job, and it was very fortunate that neither Scott nor his partner were injured, but these two brave guys brought the bad guy to justice and enjoyed it.

I’m not a person who likes to take the kind of risks that could cost me my life or where I could end up in the hospital. I guess it’s probably a good thing that some people, like my brother, are out there saving us from the bad guys and the terrible things they do. Of course, I do take some risk when it comes to buying certain properties, but I’ve always done a lot of calculations that showed me the financial risk was not great compared to the possible profit and financial gains.

As I mentioned in the last post, Scott wrote a book not long before he died. His book is entitled Cop Living On the Edge and Scott certainly did that. You can tell in his words that he absolutely loved the excitement, risks, and rewards that came with catching criminals. Bringing in the bad guys was very satisfying, as well as being so very helpful to his community, family, and friends.

It may seem odd that anyone would seek out situations that cause fear, but our brains are pretty complex and amazing. If we are faced with a scary situation, our brains can quickly generate the raw energy we need to deal with it. Fear can stimulate the release of endorphins which act on the opiate receptors in our brain, reducing pain and boosting pleasure, giving us a natural high.

However, taking a big, scary risk is not the only way to raise our energy level or get a natural high. Here’s a short list of other things you can do to boost your energy and mood:

1. Positive thinking

2. Being around great people

3. Being very grateful

4. Reading the right books

5. Living in the now

6. Decluttering the mind

7. Getting outside for a walk

8. Having fun

9. Meditation

10. Trying new things

Go ahead and make your own specific list of things that raise your energy and mood. It’ll give you something to turn to next time you crave a natural high.

Comfort of the Familiar vs. Excitement of the New

I’m still on a high from the great trip we had a couple of weeks ago. I love being out on the road, looking at all the wonderful scenery we pass, some familiar, some new. I know when we stopped in Garland Utah, both my wife and I were struck by how the town has not changed in 50 years and we both agreed that we actually liked it that way.

Now, if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, that may not sound like me. I have often gone on and on about how novel experiences make things exciting, fires up your passion for living and keep your mind active and in shape. But life doesn’t have to always be about excitement. There can be a great feeling of comfort and safety when things don’t change and sometimes we need that. For instance, on this last trip, there was a lot of comfort and joy in seeing old friends. However, often times when I travel I try to meet new people. I think we need both–the comfort and ease of the familiar and the excitement of the new.

It really comes down to balancing what you do. I think for many people, sticking with the old familiar things provides a comfort they find hard to let go of but it also can hold you back from living fully. In order to liven up your life and to live passionately you need to get out of that comfortable place occasionally. Try something new, meet and chat with complete strangers, travel somewhere unfamiliar. And in between, rest and recharge with the comfort of the things you know well.

Never retire–Re-fire!

Recently I got a phone call from a friend I knew when we were 20. As it turns out my friend, Keith Karren, has written a great book, “Boomer”, about the issues facing baby boomers as they head into retirement. Throughout the book Keith keeps saying, “Never retire–just re-fire”, a sentiment not very different from what I say in my book “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. However, Keith goes a little deeper when it comes to applying this to retirement.

We got to talking about this huge problem that most retired people face. They find themselves thinking “Who am I if I am no longer a business person, teacher, doctor, pilot or clerk?” Sure, at first it seems just wonderful not to have to go to work every day but after a while you miss the structure, camaraderie, goals, etc. You say “Oh, I’m retired now” when people ask what you do and you don’t even know what that means. If you think about it, retired is a terrible word. It comes across as a label that says your life is over, that it is worthless and has little or no meaning.

Well my old friend Keith writes all about this problem in his book. When I first read “Never retire–just re-fire” I was myself, fired up by this phrase. The idea of re-firing is to get you excited or re-excited about living. It means setting new goals and totally re-energizing yourself for this next phase of your life. And that’s a heck of a lot better than sitting around waiting to die. When you retire, you still have another 25-35 years of living yet to do. Just think of all you did in your last 35 years! That’s a lot of time to do a ton of exciting and productive things. Just trade in your retirement for a bit of re-fire-ment!