How to be Thankful: Live in the Now
It is not usually the moment we are in that worries or upsets us. Yes, a certain moment can get us riled up but if you think about it, it’s our dwelling on the past or worrying about the future that keeps us from enjoying life, from enjoying the moment we have at hand.
Dwelling on the past or possible future does you no good. What has happened is no longer in your circle of control and as for the future, do the best you know how and the future will play out the best that it can. What you have at any given moment is the only thing that matters, the only thing you have any real control over. And the control you have is choosing to enjoy and appreciate what you have right now or ignoring it for the pointlessness of the unchangeable and the unknowable.
Be thankful for the good things you know are part of your life as it exists now, for the friends, family and talents you have. Regret and worry do nothing but cause you to conjure up dissatisfaction in what has already happened and what might happen, clouding your perception of the wonderful things you do actually have. There is a saying, “Past is History, Future is a Mystery and Today is Gift and hence it is called the Present”. Enjoy the present, as a present to yourself and all those around you. Find your joy, make your own happiness in the one certain and controllable thing you have … the moment you are living right now.
Getting Away from It All Should Never Be Forever
I think most of us know that busy lives are usually happy lives. But I think we’ve also been sold a bill of goods with our thinking that if we could only make lots of money then we could quit or retire and sit by the pool drinking Mai Tai’s the rest of our lives and be happy as pigs in slop. I am here to tell you that it just ain’t true!
We think this because when we are working hard and staying busy and then we take a break –going on vacation or a quick getaway–it makes us feel so good and refreshed that we mistakenly believe that if we could just do that all the time we’d have a permanent refreshed and a super great feeling. But it doesn’t work like that. The fact is, if we don’t do the hard work then it’s really not a break and it doesn’t give us any reward or, at most, very little reward. We must all burn into our brains that the pause or the break should always remain as just that and never become a permanent thing.
Look at the recent London Olympics. Think of the four years of work that lead up to the moment we watched those young people step up on the award platform. Those award ceremonies were their break and their reward and you could see how immensely they enjoyed it. But what would become of those athletes lives if they sat back, doing nothing, trying to make that super reward moment last the rest of their lives without doing any more hard work? We can all imagine it, their lives going quickly downhill because each day there would be nothing to look forward to.
We all need to take a much harder look at our own lives and make sure we don’t ever turn the pause into a permanent state of living. Passionate, fulfilled lives come from action and staying busy. Push yourself hard then, and only then, take a break and celebrate your hard work and accomplishments.
Growing Ageless
I set a huge goal a few weeks ago–not long after my 68th birthday—to get in the best physical shape of my life!
Now I know that may sound like a bit of fantasy at my age but if you look hard enough you will find some great motivational examples of people well into their 70’s and 80’s and even 90’s who are in super incredible shape.
You may not believe it until you see it so check out these people:
- 77 year old Sizzling Senior, Kelly Nelson
- 70 year old model Sunny Griffin
- 95 year old Merrill Matzinger
Not such a fantasy after all, is it?
My goals is not necessarily to have just a ripped type body but to be in overall great shape which includes getting down to my high school weight of 160 pounds, be super flexible and be able to run faster and longer than ever before! Well, okay, maybe not faster but certainly longer.
There is no reason that I can’t achieve these goals. It is physically possible. But it will take a lot of work and dedication. That is the issue–keeping with the program not whether it’s possible to reach it.
Next week I’ll start talking about that—the role of willpower in our lives. I’ll tell you how to gain successful self-control so you can reach whatever goal you have your heart set on.
**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
Go Be a Kid
As you may have noticed, things were a little serious here for a bit with my wife’s surgery. Last week, to counter that some, I talked about how laughter is such a great curative. But I also wanted to mention something else that is really great for your mind, body and spirit … letting yourself be a kid again!
The things that weigh on us will be there until they are worked through but you cannot let them overwhelm you and take over your life. Take time to escape and allow yourself to refuel. One of the best ways to do this is simply go back to the things you loved doing as a kid. Go to the zoo, an amusement park, or a playground and goof off. Buy yourself a cool toy or game. You’ll find that occupying yourself with these simple pleasures can completely take you away from all of that “heavy†stuff and take you back to a time when you didn’t have quite so many responsibilities.
You might even try hanging out more with the kids in your life. We can learn amazing things from the young ones who are still just exploring the world. They live in the moment and usually don’t worry about what happened before that time or what will happen later. See if you can’t let go and just enjoy some play time.
**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
The Healing Power of Laughter
I know the subject matter has been a little heavy the last couple posts–not that it’s any wonder after spending those couple weeks in the hospital watching over my wife. She is doing better every day, by the way. Thank you all for your support and well wishes.
I want to talk more about taking care of yourself but this time, I want to talk about one of the easiest ways to help keep your mind, body and spirit in good shape–laughing. I think human beings have always known that laughter had wonderful side benefits. You even see a reference in the Old Testament to the healing properties of humor: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.†Although life can be difficult and, at times, discouraging, you can always inject a little humor into your day to pick you up and reduce your worry.
Norman Cousins, in his book “Anatomy of an Illness,†strongly believes that humor cured his debilitating disease. He watched old Marx Brothers movies and allowed himself to laugh uncontrollably. Eventually, he was able to overcome his disease and lived a long and healthy life into his 80s. By laughing!
Laughter has been shown to reduce pain, bolster the immune system and decrease destructive levels of stress. The process of making a joke about something we find dire or frightful can also put situations and how we deal with them into perspective and show us these things aren’t as overwhelming or as scary as they might first appear.
So, if things are getting tough, just remember to laugh (appropriately of course!) Laugh at yourself, laugh at difficult coincidences, look for the silliness in a situation and just let yourself laugh. When you need outside help with this, do as Norman did and watch a funny show or movie or read a humorous book. Get together with friends and let them know you need a good laugh and see if things don’t start to look much brighter and lighter.
**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
The Positive Activity List
We all have great wants and desires. Without them we’d have virtually no motivation to do anything. But there are a lot of hidden land mines that lie in our path just waiting for us to step on them and explode our dreams, desires, and goals. Our very wants and desires that are so important to our lives of passion can make us absolutely miserable if we don’t know what to do with ourselves.
As McGonigal states in her wonderful book The Willpower Instinct, “… desire is neither good nor bad–what matters is where we let it point us.”
We all know that frustrated desires can lead us to search out bad or negative ways to boost or otherwise change our mood—-by using drugs and/or alcohol, binge eating, or even going on a shopping spree. These all work well to increase dopamine and serotonin—those mood altering chemicals in our brain—giving us a high and one that can be addictive. These activities can too easily and too quickly become detrimental to our health, our finances, and our relationships. But what if you were able to increase these mood altering chemicals with something positive and productive, gaining a natural high and moving towards your goals at the same time?
I am sure anyone of us can come up with a few examples of positive activities and actions that will improve rather than harm our lives but let me give you some of my list. You can use these as a start or as examples for your own list. Use your positive experiences and what you want out of life to help create the ideas for your list.
Then when you feel yourself turning towards those old tried and true (and negative and harmful) options, chose something from this positive list instead. Do this diligently for at least a week and take note of how much better you feel about yourself and your life. I bet you’ll not only enjoy the activities you’ve used as substitutes but you will be much happier overall, looking back at all the positive and productive things you did.
Here is my list:
1. Work out: Just 6 or 12 minutes on the stair master, doing sit-ups and push-ups or using weights
2. Get a tennis game going
3. Write out my bests thoughts for the days
4. Read a good book
5. Listen to favorite music (create a custom playlist online)
6. Arrange a get together with family and friends
7. Get a massage
8. Hike or bike in mountains or just take a walk in the neighborhood
9. 5 to 10 minutes of meditation
10. 5 or 10 minutes of simple yoga
Now … what goes on your list?
**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?
Stop Giving Power to your Problems
Here’s something we all tend to do but for no good reason most of the time–complain. Why? It doesn’t really help anything. In fact it can be mentally devastating. Sure, we all have problems that we want to vent about but it doesn’t usually solve the problem. Worse than that though, most of us wrongly think that these problems–a lawsuit, terrible relationship, sickness, financial problem or whatever–are the source of our unhappiness and all we have to do is get rid of that problem to make our life perfect. But that idea is just a dream.
About the time you solve your current challenge I guarantee something else will pop up and take its place. Sometimes these will not be as big as the one you just got through but other times they will be worse. If you don’t come to the realization that life’s challenges never really end then you will go on complaining (whether it’s out loud or to yourself) and that negative mindset will make your challenges seem bigger and more terrible since the complaining gives energy and life to the problem.
On the other hand if you come to accept that life will always be filled with bumps and challenges then you can prepare yourself to deal with whatever comes your way. The best part is that preparation can be done in that little super power space between your ears, with wonderful, simple and effective practices such as prayer, meditation or positive affirmations. Amazing, isn’t it? You can make huge problems very small with just your thoughts. All that power is within you.
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Share the Power of Affirmations
There is an old Zen saying: “To know and not to do is not yet to know.†I still find it hard to believe I got so far away from using the power of my own subconscious for so long. Yes, I’m still talking about Positive Affirmations. Are you practicing them? Have you seen just how powerful they can be? I use to know and work on them all the time but somewhere along the way I got complacent and figured that I didn’t need to “practice” or maybe I just got lazy … or probably both.
Thankfully, I was reminded about something I thought I already knew. I have said it before but it needs saying again … I owe so much to Susan Jeffers’ book “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”. She and Jack Canfield retaught me what I thought I already knew. I sincerely hope that whoever may be reading this blog is reminded and helped by this very powerful technique just as much as I was. I know it can lead whoever practices it to anything and everything they want out of life.
Also, be sure to share it with others. You’ll be glad you did when you see what wonderfully positive things it does for people lives. In fact if you like this or any past blogs I have written, please pass them on to your friends and relatives. I would be very grateful but most importantly I know that it will benefit them. Thank you and please spread the word.
Family is Where the Heart Lies
On the eve of our Christmas weekend, I have to say my thoughts are very much with my family. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful, supportive, fun, and loving family. I know many of you feel the same way. But on the other hand, I have known too many people that don’t have strong bonds with their relatives. The reasons for this are all over the map but in the end, these reasons aren’t as relevant as realizing what family really means and being with your true family on the holidays.
The phrase “Home is where the heart is” can be easily transformed into “Family is where the heart is”. It’s the same thing. I saw a news segment this week about a gentleman who won the lottery but without even a bit of hesitation has already determined he will not be leaving his job. Why? Because, he says, his work crew is his family. That is where he feels he belongs and no amount of money is going to buy him that feeling anywhere else. I thought that was great.
I hope you all are able to be at the place where your heart lies this weekend, where the people who make you feel loved and that you belong among them are gathered around you. If it’s not actually your relatives, then hopefully you are surrounding yourself with those friends who know you well, the people you laugh with and the people who are there for you 24/7. This weekend, I hope you are exactly where you want to be and make sure all those around you know how much they are loved and appreciated.
A very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all.
The Real Measure of a Successful Life
I wanted to mention this book that Craig Horton, who I shared a letter from in my post last week, recommended. It’s a powerful book about mentorship titled “A Game Plan for Life-The Power of Mentoring” by John Wooden and Don Yaeger. Craig considers this one of the most powerful books he’s ever read. He’s not the only one.
The retired basketball player and coach mentored and inspired unknown numbers of people through his work as a coach and through his publications and lectures. In this, his last book, he first focuses on the people who helped foster his values then, through interviews excerpts, he turns the reader’s attention to number of his most successful mentorees, giving us an inside view of the affect good mentoring can have on an individual, not just as athletes but as human beings. Wooden is particularly focused on being successful without having to sacrifice principles. That is a focus I am behind 200%.
I really like Wooden’s philosophies and know you’d get something out of reading this book if you take what he says to heart. You see, how well you live is not purely about the success you have, even though in your mind and actions, it sure seems like it. The real measure of a successful life is how much you improve the lives of others. You can do this by sharing your success—be it monetary, career, personal, emotional, relationship, etc.–with others in ways that help them achieve and fulfill their lives as well.
