We Make a Wonderful Life Together

May 25, 2012 by  
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Last week I mentioned going to your family and friends for help as you try to figure out what you need in your life to be successful. These very important people in your life know you, sometimes a little better than you do, and their support is so very important to keep you motivated and keep your spirit up when things get rough. I’ve been thinking a lot about that this past week.

Yesterday, my wife Kimberly and I flew out to Boston in order for her to get surgery from the best medical team in the country for what she’s dealing with. We’ve had such overwhelming support from family and friends as we’ve prepared for this. One of our dear friends, Dr. Kellee Shea, wife of the 2002 Olympic gold medal winner Jimmy Shea, is flying out to Boston to be with my wife and be her advocate at the hospital. Isn’t it just wonderful when friends will go to that length to support you?

It’s not just Dr. Shea though. We have all kinds of friends from all different backgrounds and beliefs–Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, Mormon, Methodist, Buddhist, Hindu etc. putting Kimberly’s name in their prayers, temples, synagogues, and meditation rooms. All I can say to them is thank you so very much for caring and with all that spiritual power I am sure all will go well.

It’s times like these that make you stop and think … how would we ever make it in this life if we were all alone without the support of family and friends? These people are so valuable to you, to your goals, and to the quality of your life. So go to these people and get their help. And, to improve your life even more, be there when they need you and be sure they know you are there for them. We make a wonderful life for ourselves, not on our own, but together.

What topics would you like to read more about? What are your favorite posts you’ve read so far? Help me make this blog as helpful as possible to you and the other readers by letting me know what you’d like to read more of at —MOH.

My Own Self-Check List, Part 2

May 18, 2012 by  
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So … did you go through the questions I gave you last week, the ones that will help you focus on becoming super successful? Did you find that they brought up all kinds of ideas and aspects of yourself and your life you hadn’t thought about too much before?

Today, I have an additional ten questions for you. These really get into the big picture of who you are and what you want. Go ahead and actually write down your answers. If there are any answers that you aren’t happy with–things you discover that you would like to change or know you need to address–highlight them. Then spend some time either journaling or talking to friends and family about what you need to do so that not too long from now, you can answer these questions with positive statements that show you know who you are and where you are going with your life.

11. Have I set goals big enough to energize my mind, body and soul to the point that these objectives are my core or dominant thoughts?
12. Do I want to be my own boss?
13. Do people like me and can I inspire others with my dreams and goals so they will follow me and help me achieve my objectives?
14. Am I a generalist who can delegate to others or a specialist who must do everything myself?
15. Do I have a great degree of intuitive ability or am I very gullible and can easily be deceived?
16. Am I able to take major disappointment and bounce right back?
17. Do I have the right paradigm or view of the world that will drive the right attitude in myself? (I must always remember that if I don’t like my life I must change my attitude and thinking.)
18. Do I use the huge and great power of “choice”? (Mankind’s most powerful attribute)
19. Do I ‘borrow’ the brains of others through personal contacts, books, cd’s, podcasts, texting, emails etc.?
20. Can I, and do I, adapt and adjust my goals to economic, political, technological, and relationship changes?

What topics would you like to read more about? What are your favorite posts you’ve read so far? Help me make this blog as helpful as possible to you and the other readers by letting me know what you’d like to read more of at —MOH.

My Own Self-Check List, Part 1

May 11, 2012 by  
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I was getting myself better organized the other day and came across a list of 20 questions that I used in the past to help me focus on qualities I wanted to see in myself in order to have my own “Super Success”. I wrote the list back in December 2003 but reading it over, I found it just as relevant now as I did back then, so I wanted to share it with you all. I believe these, or your own personal variation, can help just about anyone.

Here are the first 10 and next week I will post the second group of 10. Read the list and ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I being pro-active?
2. Do I believe in myself (How’s my self-esteem doing?)
3. Am I being “time conscious? (Life is very short so I want to live every day to the fullest. Even if I live to be 80 years old, that’s only a little over 700,000 hours!)
4. Do I spend time, planning, calculating, and running the numbers on various projects that I want to see succeed?
5. Do I make decisions that need to be made? Am I decisive enough and realize that it’s better to make more decisions and be wrong than to not be decisive?
6. Am I staying organized and do I keep working on being better at it?
(I test myself by observing my desk, my files, and even the backseat of my car.)
7. Do I do what I say I am going to do, both to myself and to others?
(My word needs to be my bond—my reputation will follow. My honor is my greatest power)
8. Do I have high ambitions and enough energy to follow through?
(I remind myself often of how I can create extra energy–like having great ideas and dreams along with focus for extra energy.)
9. How do I stick with a project?
10. How is my discipline factor? (I must remember that if I want to rule the world or any part of my own world I must rule myself first.)

If you find this list helpful–please feel free to pass it on to others that may benefit from it. And I would love it if you would drop me an email at and tell me how you liked this blog. —MOH.

The White Bear Experiment

May 4, 2012 by  
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I am sure, like me, you know some people who seem to have an endless supply of willpower and others that don’t seem to have a single once of it. Most of us are somewhere in the middle. And of course what we hope to find is “the secret” or a “formula” that will give us what we need. You might not believe this but researchers have uncovered a kind of secret that can be used by just about everyone that will amp up a person’s willpower. And it’s already, literally, there in your head.

First let me tell you about the “white bear” experiment. A number of years ago a professor at Trinity University in Texas instructed a number of students to NOT think about white bears for 5 minutes. Well they tried but they couldn’t do it. In fact the harder they tried the more that white bear thought would pop into their minds. Kelly McGonigal PhD, in her book The Willpower Instinct says, “The effect was strongest when people were already stressed out, tired or distracted.” Daniel Wegner, the professor that conducted the experiment, dubbed “this effect” as the “ironic rebound”. You push a thought away and it just boomerangs back.

Now what the heck does this have to do with a “breakthrough” to increase your willpower? Well, Kelly McGonigal goes on to explain in her book that “thought suppression” doesn’t work because of how our brains are wired but we can work around it. You’ll want to read her book to get the details about this but what I can tell you right now is a little about how to work with what your brain does. What you do is accept that bad or wrong thought which will give you great power to lead your brain to where you want it to be and very likely change or direct your behavior into something more positive and constructive. Here are just a few of Kelly’s suggestions that you can try yourself when you need more self-discipline or willpower.

1—Notice when are thinking about your temptation or feeling a craving.
2—Accept the thought or feeling without trying to immediately distract yourself or argue with it. Remind yourself of the white-bear rebound effect.
3—Step back by realizing that thoughts and feelings aren’t always under your control, but you can choose whether to act on them.
4—Remember your goal. Remind yourself of whatever your commitment is and what it means to you.

**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?