Making it Through a Hectic Day

You might have already noticed that no matter how well you map out the steps you need to take to reach your goals or how intent you are on hitting every deadline you set for yourself, you don’t always manage it. Sometimes unexpected circumstances arise and other people need your time, attention, and support. It’s important that you make the needs of your family and friends one of your priorities-—helping them and others is a big part of living a fulfilling, passionate life–but you must never forget to take care of yourself as well.

I know this can often be very difficult and some days you just want to throw your hands up in surrender. Well don’t. No matter what is happening you really can help the people you care for, keep making progress on your own goals, and keep sane all at the same time. The way to do this is to use that “L” factor I talk about in Chapter 8 of my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living–list making.

Lists are the ideal life line for when things get hectic so be sure you make a list of what you want to get done for yourself and others every day. Then when the proverbial wrench gets thrown into your plans get the issue resolved or the interruption wrapped up as soon as possible and return to your list. Don’t worry if it takes hours to get back on track or even the next day. The important thing is to keep the list as the guideline for your day so you don’t get sidetracked or lost in the chaos.

You will also find that if you complete the items according to their priority for that day that even if you are interrupted, the most important things still get done. Anything left undone should be transferred to the next day’s list and made a priority for that day. If one or two of your top priorities are steps toward accomplishing your goals, you are certain to make the progress you need to keep up your enthusiasm and eventually accomplish what you are after. Because, in the end, it’s not how quickly you reach your goal but that you have something to strive for that fuels your passion and creates a life worth celebrating.

The Problem with Multi-tasking

Have you ever sat in front of the computer reading email while talking to someone on the phone and listening to the news on the nearby TV? Such multi-tasking is pretty common place these days. I’ve even seen people strolling on the beach and texting away on their Blackberry while holding a conversation with the person walking next to them. Life has sped up so much that we feel like we have to do as many things as we can at once just to keep up. But then the question is, what information and experiences are we really taking in at these times?

The thing about multi-tasking is that we can’t actually do multiple things at the same time, not fully. Our brains are built to focus, not run multiple programs at the same time the way a computer can. This means that when we have multiple things going on but we aren’t fully experiencing any one of them. We are not “living in the now” but rather in a shallow, half-realized moment. How much do you fail to notice while multi-tasking? What personal connections do you miss out on? What amazing moment in your child’s life will you never have a memory of to cherish because you are half focused elsewhere?

In our high tech, fast paced world, it might not be fashionable, but taking time to slow down, put the high-tech toys away, and become completely aware of your surroundings, the conversation you are engaged in, and the way you are feeling at the moment may actually be the ‘edge’ you need to keep up with the rat race. You will be more content moment to moment, probably much less stressed, and certainly happier with your life and your progress because you would know exactly where you are and where you have been. So next time you are ambling through the great outdoors, attending a family gathering, or even just talking on the phone, turn your focus and your full awareness on where you are and what is most important at that moment. See if it doesn’t make a huge difference in the quality of your work and the quality of your life.

Living Healthier in the Now

Most of us have some health related goal or area of improvement that we are working on or hope to work on very soon. Keeping yourself mentally and physically aware while exercising and eating by using the “living in the now” concept I’ve been talking about in the last couple blogs, can get you through a strenuous workout as well as help you eat right all while increasing your enjoyment of these activities.

For most of us, getting through an exercise routine is a struggle. But if you are completely attentive to your movements instead of thinking about how you’ve never yet been able to keep up an exercise routine or letting your mind wander to how much nicer it would feel to be lounging on the couch, you aren’t as likely to quit in the middle of it. Just keep focused on the feeling of your muscles moving and listen to your breath as you control your inhaling and exhaling (a primary concept behind yoga and its distressing effects, by the way) and soon enough you will have completed your routine or finished that 30 minute run and are feeling great.

When it comes to food, it’s all about being mindful of what you eat, how much, and how you eat. When you reach in the fridge for something, consciously decide what will contribute to your well balanced intake for the day and choose your best options. Stop eating directly out of the box or bag and lay out a small portion on a plate that you can then take to a table or out onto the porch to enjoy. Choose a place with no TV or computer or anything else to distract you. Taste your food, becoming aware of every flavor and texture, and chew completely. You will find that eating “in the now” is much more enjoyable. It will also slow down your eating so you fill up on less food and will help your digestion by having food well broken down before it hits your stomach.

“Living in the now” will help you by not only increasing your appreciation of the sensations of exercising and eating well but will also help you attain your goals for a better, healthier life. You’ll feel great because of your accomplishments along with gaining the long lasting and compounding effects of the bliss that comes with being consistently happy in the moment.

Living in the Now while Planning for the Future

As I mentioned last week, you can strive to make your life better but you also need to appreciate what you have and what you accomplish today. This is the concept of living in the now. No matter what your circumstances are at the moment, you should strive to enjoy the life you are living today. This can be a difficult concept to put into practice, especially if you focus so much of your energy on the future and reaching your goals. So, how do you live in the now while working towards a better future?

The answer is to balance your thoughts between enjoying what you have now and looking forward to what you will have in the future.

Chances are if you are reading this blog you are a goal setter, or are trying to become one, so you probably spend a lot of time thinking about your future. And you should regularly take time to think about how your life will be when you reach your goals as it will help keep you focused on what you are after and motivate you to keep going. However, while chasing your goals, you should also be striving to live as fully and as passionately as you can, today.

For instance, don’t go to a cheap diner and spend the entire meal thinking about how you’ll be able to eat at high-end, ritzy places when you are successful and rich. There’s nothing wrong with letting that thought in—for a moment. But then sit back and enjoy your meal and don’t let your mind wander back to what you aren’t able to do, right now. Because right now, being frugal is probably necessary for you to eventually reach your goals as well as take care of today’s responsibilities. And besides, no ritzy place is going to have that sweet old waitress who calls you ‘hon’ and always has a colorful joke to get you laughing at the end of a long hard day.

So become a keen observer of your own mind, being conscious that you spend the majority of your time focused on taking in the experiences and sensations of the moment you are living in. Because what is the point of working through today just hoping to enjoy tomorrow? You should be enjoying today as well!

Enjoy the Journey

Recently I had a young man come to me in a near state of depression. I was surprised at how down he was as he usually very upbeat and positive. When I asked what was going on he said he was frustrated and felt like a failure. He had huge goals which he’d been continually working on but he felt he wasn’t progressing fast enough. He wanted his future to happen now.

I have found this to be a very common state of mind these days. Our advanced technologies have led us to habitually expect that we can access our wishes immediately. Super fast internet, instant downloads, DVRs, and multi-functional cell phones give us the ability to have some level of access to whatever or whomever we want whenever we want. But life, in general, doesn’t work that way. As a result, we are experiencing more and more frustration and impatience which ultimately leads to depression or anger.

Reaching a goal is a series of small, necessary steps but even when you are making steady progress, it may feel like it is taking forever to attain it because of all you must go through to get there. The key to a truly successful goal, however, is not only reaching it but also enjoying and celebrating life while you work towards it. In other words, you need to learn to appreciate the journey, not just the destination.

Over the next few weeks, I will talk more about what is often referred to as “living in the now”. Much of what I want to talk about is based on principles outlined in my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. It’s hard to be passionate when you are frustrated and impatient but it’s not hard to be passionate about anything if you are passionate about living and enjoying the moment. That is really the ultimate goal.

Become One of the Influential People

I know I have been talking a lot recently about keeping the influential people in your life close to you. But what I may not have gotten across is just how important you are—or can be–to the people around you. You have run into people throughout your life that had amazing talent and wonderful gifts and were willing to share them with you and help you live a richer, fuller life. Well, you too have gifts that you can share with others that can help and inspire them. You probably influence more people than you know already and you can influence and enrich even more lives by just being aware of what you have to offer.

Take a moment or two this week to think about your gifts and talents. Ask your family and friends how you influence them. There may something you’ve said that you had no idea inspired your daughter to take a chance that landed her the great job she has now. Your best friend may have watched you reach your fitness goal and is now getting on the treadmill at home every day because of what you accomplished. Perhaps witnessing your kindness and generosity with the new guy at work, encouraged others to do the same with the next new hire. It’s hard to say how you can enrich others’ lives until you find out what you have done and start paying attention to what you are doing today. Then, once you know, you can look for more opportunities to do the same great things again and again.

The pay-off of being a great influence is not only knowing that you had a positive impact on someone else’s life but it is also an energizing and motivating way to live. Seeing the encouraging effect your actions and words have on others will boost you through the hard times as you struggle to reach your goals or deal with your own personal dilemmas. Working on being a positive influence is a win-win situation, good karma, and the ultimate way to pay forward all the great, motivating influence you receive from the great people in your life.

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You Never Have to ‘Lose’

Last month I had the chance to play a very special doubles tennis match with Governor Gary Herbert of Utah. I had my partner, Judge Andrew Valdez, and the governor had Jeff Robbins of the Utah Sports Commission (who also played the pro tour for a while!). It was very close but, in the end, the governor and Robbins beat us. Still, there were no losers that day. First of all, the match itself had been a dream of mine. Not only that but the wager was that if the governor won, I would donate $5000 to the Granite Education Foundation, an organization that supports Utah schools and Utah kids. So when the last volley ended, I was as elated as anyone because the kids were the big winners and I could celebrate for them.

I wish that we could all look at the events in our lives and think about the wins not the losses. In the tennis match, the governor won the game, the kids supported by the foundation won additional funding, I achieved a dream, and players and spectators alike were uplifted by the exciting event and the philanthropic theme of the day. We didn’t win the game but there was no way I could look at the day and say we lost.

This positive outlook is something I call a “God’s Eye View.” It’s a way of seeing things from the perspective of humanity as a whole. It means believing that someone, somewhere, is getting joy and/or some kind of enhancement in his or her life even when you are not, and you can be happy and rejoice in the moment for them. Living this way, never being concerned about what you didn’t win, what you did not personally get, makes you a happier person. And that in itself is quite a win.

I talk about this “God’s Eye View,” at length in Chapter Twelve of my book, “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living.” It is intertwined with thoughts on the many benefits of giving which is also part of the “God’s Eye View” and something I try to do on a regular basis. In fact, the flip side of that tennis wager was that if I won, the foundation would get only $4900. Because if I had won the game and the kids lost the donation, my dream to play with the governor would have been a rather empty achievement. The best goals are ones that not only fulfill your dreams, but allow you to give back in some way as well. What they want. And there is no reason why you can’t be one of them.

Get your FREE copy (you pay shipping and handling only) of the book,  “How to Ignite your Passion for Living.”

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Giving Serendipity a Hand

You just don’t know where life will take you and what will happen along the way. As I mentioned last week, a short trip to California reunited my wife and I with friends we had not expected to see. Prior to that I wrote about a funeral I attended that reunited me with many influential people and reminded me of the importance of keeping in contact with them and now I’m in the midst of planning a fantastic reunion. If I had decided that I was too busy promoting my book, Ignite Your Passion for Living, and putting my new house in order to take time out for those events, I would not have had those inspiring experiences. Such fortunate situations often come about when we least expect it but such things aren’t going to happen if you just stay home and put everything on hold when things get difficult.

However, I’ve noticed that the effects of the recession have really driven people into a defensive mode and instead of just being cautious, they aren’t doing anything. We commonly hear about individuals and businesses “hunkering down” and “riding out the storm”—both statements of inaction. But the thing is, if you’re not out and about, talking to new people, looking for new prospects, and taking active steps towards making your dreams become a reality, serendipity isn’t going to have the opportunity to help you reach those dreams and enrich your life with new experiences.

So don’t just sit at home waiting for things to get better out there. If you have a dream, get working on it. If you haven’t gotten away for a while, plan a trip. If you haven’t met any new people recently, go to an event or an association meeting that interests you and start talking to people. If you’re just feeling down in general, go out and try something new or go somewhere you’ve never been (remember … new experiences increase those feel good serotonin and dopamine chemicals). You don’t even have to spend a lot of money or go very far. You just need to take action. You never know what will happen in life but you can be sure very little will happen if you don’t go out and experience it.

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Open Yourself Up to Unexpected Opportunities

Reaching your goals will always require a lot of hard work and focus, but random opportunity also plays a part in getting you where you want to be. However, you need get out and keep your life filled with friends, family, and activities that you enjoy in order to be open to these strange, coincidental opportunities.

The last month or so my focus has been on reconnecting with old friends and colleagues. So this past week when we headed to Indian Springs, California for the big pro tennis tournament there, I planned a dinner with Hal Morris, a very talented speaker who had previously worked for my company, and his family. The funny thing was, we ended up spending time with a number of other wonderful people we hadn’t expected to see.

At the tournament itself, we ran into a couple friends from Utah, Dr. Lynn Rassmussen and wife, who we don’t get to see frequently, and had a chance to do some catching up. Then my wife Kimberly got a call from her best friend, Susie, who now lives in Oregon. Susie, her husband, and his sister were driving down to California and mentioned that it was too bad they wouldn’t be able to take a detour to Utah. What a wonderful surprise it was to find out we’d all be in California at the same time. We were able to get together for an evening and had the most wonderful time.

As we left California, I was thinking about how we were able to spend time with so many wonderful people, and more than half of it hadn’t even been planned. I had started focusing on gathering friends around us and here it was happening more and more on its own. I can’t pretend I understand how it works but I do know that if you focus on what you want and open yourself up to opportunities, unexpected things will happen to support and advance your goals not to mention enriching your life with many pleasurable experiences.

Being a Responsible Influence

Recently I ran into an old tennis friend and eye doctor, Dr. Steve T. Jackson. After we caught up a bit, Steve stopped to thank me for giving him a copy of my book, “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. He mentioned that he had loaned it out and was having a hard time getting it back. It was a book that really influenced him and he knew it was helping those he shared it with.

The encounter with Dr. Jackson was not that unusual. One of the most rewarding things about having written the book has been having people stop to tell me how helpful it has been for them. But this chance meeting with the doctor was a little more than confirmation that the book was truly helping others. It also affirmed for me the idea and goal I’ve been talking about in the last couple of posts.

Steve said it was the chapter on goal setting that really got him thinking about getting back in touch with the people that influenced him. Like me, he set a goal to organize a gathering of all the great people he’d meet over the years. Dr. Jackson, life myself, had realized just how important the influence of others are in our life and what we do with it.

He thanked me profusely for reminding him of this point, one that I hadn’t even realized was there. But that, in the end, is the point. We influence people in ways we don’t even expect and the people that influence us don’t always realize the impact they’ve had. That goes for the negative influences as well as the positives. So whatever you do, aim to promote the admirable qualities and the motivation to succeed in others.

I hope all who read and are motivated by “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”, pay it forward by motivating and energizing the people around them. What a fantastic world this would be if we all did that. And what huge gathers Steve and I would have to put together!

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