Road to Long-Term Happiness

I was looking through my past posts this week and came across one that mentions a great book, Authentic Happiness, by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D. and was reminded of how important it is to have goals that give us authentic happiness.

In his book, Dr. Seligman talks about what real authentic happiness is and how we can capture it and keep it. Finding and enjoying real happiness is not done through seeking and finding pleasure and the same goes for seeking happiness through just staying busy—it just doesn’t work. Great and authentic happiness is experienced from earned gratification. So how do we become gratified?

Much of our gratification comes from producing something of great value to others and/or ourselves. This gives us a great feeling of satisfaction. Dr. Seligman lists 8 common components of gratification we want to have in the things we pursue:

1. The task is challenging and requires skill.
2. We have to concentrate.
3. There are clear goals.
4. We get immediate feedback.
5. We have deep effortless involvement.
6. There is a sense of control.
7. Sense of self vanishes.
8. Time seems to stop.

Dr. Seligman goes on to talk about depression in today’s world and how widespread it is. It has increased by a huge amount in the last 40 years and the average age of depressed people is much younger today.

Depression is also unexpectedly high in wealthy and healthy countries. The author’s theory is that “an ethos that builds unwarranted self-esteem, espouses victimology, and encourages rampant individualism has contributed to that epidemic.” Another reason is our huge reliance on shortcuts to happiness… online entertainment, drugs, shopping, spectator sports, and high sugar food and drinks. These things are enjoyable in the moment but don’t give us any long-term satisfaction.

A major symptom of depression is self-absorption, which a lot of shortcuts to happiness can feed. Depressed people think about how they feel a great deal of the time. When they detect internal sadness, they ruminate about it, projecting it into the future, this in turn increases their sadness in their life and across all their activities.

What we all need to do more of is realize that there are no shortcuts to the kind of fulfilling gratification we all crave, and realize we need to focus more and more on our goals, taking on big tasks, and increasing our long-term production as well as giving up the constant self-worry and self-absorption.

You may have noticed that really happy people, for the most part, spend the least amount of time home alone, involved in these shortcuts to happiness. They tend to have a rich and fulfilling social life along with jobs, goals, or hobbies they are passionate about. When your life is built around social and productive activities, you get more of that long-term happiness, feeling gratified for days or weeks or even years to come.  

Surefire Goal Success

To have and use goals in our lives is so very, very important and I sure believe that it was when I set a goal years ago to make it to millionaire status, that this decision became the most critical resolution of my financial life.

Goal setting really is a kind of magic, one that really works. Of course, there are a couple of things that truly drive a person to reach their goals. I’ve written about this before but it’s so important in our lives and, besides, when I write about stuff like this, it pushes me to make sure I keep striving to do these things I’m telling you are so good for your life.

One of the critical things that give you a huge push to accomplish whatever goal you set is writing it down on paper or on your computer. You see, for me, when I write it down, especially on paper, and post it somewhere I can easily see it, I get to review it daily which is a really huge help.

In my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, I have a chapter, Chapter 7, entitled “The Surefire Way to Stick with Every Goal”. Now, let me tell you about this while I basically plagiarize my own writing. (Don’t tell my wife!)

In that chapter, I write about how to stick with your goals, including using B-RAM, which stands for Benefits, Reasons, and Motivations. This is a list of clearly defined reasons why you want to go after your chosen goal. Now, how does that work?

First of all, you have to think through what your big dream is. Second, you want to know for sure that that this big dream is what you really want out of life, and you can do that by writing down all the benefits, reasons, and motivations – your B-RAM. Third, write the goal down with a timeframe attached.

After you know what you want and why, and you have set your goal, you need to work out an action plan, breaking the goal into short and medium interim goals and action items. That list, especially when written down, pushes you to achieve what you have set as your goal. This little formula has worked for me with relationships, making tons of money, and even winning a gold medal in tennis at the Huntsman World Senior Games.

Most experts agree that if the benefits are powerful enough and if we have strong enough reasons, then our motivation will burn white hot inside of us, to the point that nothing in the world can stop us. So, in those moments that you may feel discouraged, take out your B-RAM lists and read them over and over again. This will re-motivate you and, again, turn on all your mental and physical juices and energy. The likelihood of you remaining down or wanting to quit will be much, much less. Believe me–I know it works!

So, I really hope that you will try this and maybe even teach it to others like your kids, your friends, and anyone that you truly want to help!

When You Need An Energy Boost

Life can be busy and draining, especially if you’ve been having a hard time lately or things haven’t been going your way. Even when things are good, it seems like we can all use more energy, especially as we get older. Whether it’s for work or play, family or friends, having that extra energy can make a big difference in how much we enjoy our lives.

You’re not stuck with that low energy though. There are easy things you can do to help boost your energy levels. Here’s a list of 12 proven ways to boost your energy:

1. Set exciting goals that will move you towards making your big dreams a reality. Be sure to include a timeframe and an exciting game plan to keep you motivated.
2. A daily to do list, one that you look at in the morning, gets you focused first thing. The feeling of accomplishment as you work through it adds extra energy to your day.
3. Eat more nutritious foods. Sugars, saturated fat, fried food and empty calorie foods can contribute to crashes in your energy level.
4. Drink green tea rather than coffee to overcome mid-day slumps. It’s still caffeinated but doesn’t have as much and that form of caffeine paired with the L-theanine in green tea improves mood and reduces stress and anxiety.
5. Get plenty of exposure to natural light. Just a short walk in the sunshine first thing in the day can improve energy and mood through the synthesis of vitamin D and the release of serotonin.
6. Ease your stress by simplifying your life and mainly, or exclusively, pursue your life’s priority items. Delegate the rest.
7. Heal yourself by being grateful and loving and letting go of all anger.
8. Drink plenty of water. Dehydration makes you feel fatigued.
9. Play hard and exercise to increase endorphins which boost energizing neurotransmitters like dopamine.
10. Get enough sleep.
11. A few minutes of yoga stretching will give you a morning boost and reduce aches and pains that can drain your energy.
12. Listening to your favorite music is good for your mood. It may be music with a heart pounding beat while others may find symphonic music inspiring and energizing.

There are probably other things that you do that you’ve found work to increase your energy levels. Pay attention to what gets you excited and energized and be sure to work that into your day when you are dragging. It helps to write up your own list and keep it close to remind you of your options when you need an energy boost.

You Are What You Think You Are

Too many of us stumble through life on one consistent low plane. We see ourselves as failures in the things that really matter.

“When it comes to high stakes, count me out,” we say. Or our self-talk says things like, “I can succeed at little things, but when the big time comes along, I’m a total failure. ” And amazingly we are right. We are what we think are.

We’re much like the fictional character, Bunker Bean. He had a lot of potential locked up inside him, but because he kept it locked so deep, he didn’t know about it. But then something happened to make Bunker believe in himself, despite his humble beginnings, and he goes on to make a fortune, to overcome his fears and weaknesses, and to become a giant of a leader.

When Bunker was very young, both his parents died, leaving him alone and friendless in a cold world. He couldn’t do anything right and his acquaintances made fun of him. He was afraid of almost everything–policemen, elevators, streets, social and business situations. He was afraid to make decisions and was afraid of the future. He was even afraid of himself. Bunker Bean’s life was a misery.

But things started to change the day Bunker moved into a cheap, rundown boarding house on the unhappy side of town.

There he met a man who claimed to be a spiritualist medium. This new friend told Bunker Bean that just as we cast off our old shoes, and clothes, so we cast off our bodies when we die, in fact we are reincarnated as a new person. Then he tricked Bunker Bean into believing that, in his former life, he was the great Napoleon Bonaparte. Thinking this really lifted Bunker Bean’s life to great new heights, helping Bunker to believe in himself enough to change many of his attitudes, habits, and behavior.

But then, later on, he discovered that the spiritualist was revealed to be a
fraud, a man who lied to others to obtain their money. Bunker Bean was crushed by this revelation. But, having already turned his life around, he eventually realized that it didn’t matter who he’d been in a former life. What mattered was what he had allowed himself to become in his present life.

It’s a great example of how what we believe can affect the way we live and how we deal with our world and our lives. In other words, you can’t just hope that things will change, that you can be the kind of person you want
to be, you just need to believe it. Change that self-talk that isn’t saying what you know you really can be and what you can do, and only tell yourself who you are, who you really can be, to lift your life to great new heights.