The Right Kind of People

We are in Portugal cycling this week. What a great place, great wines and great people. Earlier in the week we spent a fantastic evening with Julio Bastos and wife Isabelle at their incredible estate. The Bastos are maybe the 3rd richest family in Portugal. They wined and dined us in their castle-like home, complete with waiters and cooks that waited on us hand and foot.

If you Google Julio Tassara de Bastos you’ll find an impressive list of endeavors and success primarily in the production and export of wine. Although I don’t deal in wine myself (I do, however, drink my share!) I jumped at the chance to meet this successful couple and speak with them because they are the right kind of people to know. I was even more assured of this after our evening together. They were very warm and friendly people–not at all stuffy like some super wealthy people–and they even expressed sincere enthusiasm about eventually reading my books. It’s that kind of openness in people that make them so valuable as business contacts as well as friends.

I guess the real lesson here is not what you know but who you know, and what kind of people you come to connect with. It’s rather simple. Hang out with the right people and they will lead you to more of the right people and who knows what may come from that.

Commitment to Gratitude

As I look out at the world, especially in the incredible times we live in right now with all the turmoil, uprising, pointless deaths, instability and chaos in so many places in the world, and then look outside my door, it’s hard not to be a little shocked by how different my life is here in an affluent, developed country. Even some of the arguably most powerful men in the world do not live as well as many of us do here. Look at Bin Laden, found living in relative squalor until his demise.

When I see these things I am struck big time with the thought that, wow, we really do have it good, those of us living in the USA, Canada, Europe, etc. But how often, and seriously, do we consider how blessed we are?

I don’t know about you, but I am so very, very grateful for my life in a free country. My gratitude, however, goes way beyond the free country thing. I have to tell you, when i take time to be grateful (and i really need to do it more often), that very process and feeling of gratitude boosts my satisfaction, contentment, and happiness levels! It’s almost like magic.

So I’m thinking, this month, let’s start a habit of gratitude, hitting that button 2 or 3 times a day. Appreciating what we have will be good for our spirits, our attitude, our family, our outlook on life, and, by extension the world out there that is working through the chaos and pressure of broad and often, unstoppable, change. It’s the least we can do for them, and ourselves.

The $2 High

Last week I went on a hike to get some exercise, looking forward to the great feeling that the increase of serotonin and dopamine bring on from the exercise. In my pocket I had a handful of $2 bills which I give out to kids because it always brings a huge smile and a sincere thank you and I get a big boast myself from seeing how happy it makes them.

So while enjoying the beautiful sights of Millcreek Canyon, I passed a couple and their daughter. The little girl was crying because she had fallen on the trail. As I passed by I told the her “Be sure to keep your eyes on the trail for paper litter and if you pick some up you will be TWO lucky.” I then dropped a $2 bill a few feet on. The girl saw it, picked it up, her scrapes forgotten, and excitedly showed her parents. I kept on hiking, a big smile on my face, but soon heard them talking to another hiker about what I’d done, which made me smile even more.

A little while later I passed a slightly older girl and told her the same thing. When I dropped the $2 bill she very sweetly let me know I had dropped it. I told her to keep it for good luck. I passed this girl and her parents on the way back down and her parents stopped me, thanking me over and over and again and said their daughter thought I was an angel. That made my broad smile into an even broader grin that just wouldn’t leave my face.

By the time I’d gotten to the end of the trail, I was incredibly high on all the joy my little gestures produced as well as from the exercise. I couldn’t stop thinking about how something as small as a $2 bill could make both the giver and receiver so happy. We all go to great lengths to find a little happiness, something that makes us feel good or let’s us know what we do is worthwhile. And yet some of the smallest gestures can do this very thing, not just for you but also for others.

Take a look at Chapter 12 “The Benefits of a “God- Eye View” in my book, “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. And take a moment here and there to make someone’s day and yours as well.

Others’ Success Breeds Your Success

You ability to succeed, at whatever it is you want to do depends very much on your dedication, your passion, and a great support system. But something that is not often talked about that seems to be an essential part of a support system is the presence of a successful, talented. Henry David Thoreau was mentored by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Frank Sinatara drew a lifetime of inspiration from his mentor and friend, Bing Crosby. Even Bill Gates who has been said to draw so much from games like Risk and Monopoly spent significant time with Warren Buffett. It’s not just the wisdom that a mentor can bring you but the fulfilling and stimulating personal connection.

It is too hard to struggle in a vacuum, aiming for a dream that no one around you carries a similar passion for. That is why the most successful people either are drawn to, or seek out, the most accomplished people in the fields that relate to their passions. Do you have someone in your life that you look up to, that can share their wisdom with you and help you realize your goals? If not, you need to seek out these kinds of people through conventions, local meetings, and industry events–any where the successful gather. If you surround yourself with the right kind of people, someone is bound to take an interest in your enthusiasm and pass on what they have learned.

Although there are amazing people whose stories and legacies are hugely empowering, that you can access through books, TV and the internet to draw inspiration from, these distant or one way relationships will never replace the energy you get from one on one time with someone who has reached a level of success you are still striving for. Being able to have a discussion, ask questions, observe, and get feedback from a person who has gone through all the trials and joys that the road to dreams are paved with has an infinitely greater impact on you. And having such a person as a friend means you have relative access to those motivating discussions and inspiring support—and a better chance of getting where you want to go.

I’ve had many o my own mentors over the years but I think my most influential mentor was Larry Rosenberg with Paul J. Meyer right behind him. You can read more about both these wonderful men in my book,How to Ignite Your Passion for Living.

Adding Value to Personal Connections

If you sell merchandise or offer a service you’ve probably heard the “added value” phrase a few times. That term refers to adding something to your product that gives it more value but isn’t necessarily essential to its primary purpose. The hope is that it might sway a consumer into choosing what you are offering over your competitor. Simple concept really. But have you ever applied it to personal connections?

When you meet someone do you try connecting with the standard introduction followed by small talk and then a comment about your business to see if there is any interest? Even if what you do garners interest, that person could meet three other people that night that have the same type of business. What will make you stand out? If you follow the concept of added value, you might find out what the other person does first and offer to assist them in some small way. You might bring the keynote speaker a glass of water after a long talk. Or you can show up early to an event and help your host with their last minute set-up. You’ll be well remembered for your kindness and consideration.

So next time you’re out networking, consider what you can do for others first, not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because you add value to the interaction you have with others. Amongst a group of people all looking for what others can offer them, your personal approach will make a definite impression. We are human beings first, business people second, and we’ll always react stronger to connections that speak to our human side.

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