The Power of Positive Language
I’ve been thinking about my negative self-talk blog from last week and I figured we probably have more negative thoughts than we imagine so I did a bit of light research on it and, yep, there are a lot of ways negativity can seep into our thoughts.
The thing is, we constantly have this internal chatter where we comment on and determine how we interpret our circumstances. And a lot of us have this set of both conscious thoughts and less conscious assumptions and beliefs that lean to the negative side so that this internal chatter ends up being critical and, ultimately, demoralizing. And it’s very hard to get away from, unless you’re mindful of it:
- Next time you find you’re being critical of yourself, stop and find alternatives to “I’m an idiot!” or “I’m getting so fat!” such as “Next time, I’ll pay more attention and I’ll ace this!” or “I know I can eat better and I’m going to do that starting now!” This will stop you from what is called “Self-limiting talk” when the negative comments make you feel defeated and so you don’t bother looking for answers. Never accept defeat!
- Don’t jump to conclusions. “He must have thought I was a fool the way I keep blathering on!” or “I’ve never done this before. I’m going to fail terribly.” are your interpretations of situations but aren’t the actual truth. However, we make these statements facts in our mind by using this negative self-talk. Look at exactly what happened or will likely happen and keep your thoughts on the positive aspects of a situation.
- Stop using negativity when talking to others. What you say aloud becomes common chatter internally. When someone says you look good, don’t brush it off with an “Ugh! I feel like a whale today.” Instead say “Thank you. That’s sweet of you to say.” Or if you are used to saying “I’m just not good at that.” try saying “Someday I’m going to figure out how to do that!”
It’s those small but significant changes in our language both in our heads and when talking to others that a battle with too much negativity is fought and won. Just be mindful of what you say and what you think and turn negative commentary into positive, empowering statements!
Take Control of Your Internal Chatter
In my singles match against a strong player at the Huntsman World Senior Games this last week, I found my internal dialogue turning very negative and as it did, so did my game. I was playing terribly–double faults, mis-hits, into to the net, etc. I just stunk.
In the first tie breaker, I found myself down 4-2. It was then that I said to myself, “You’ve got to get positive here or you’re going to lose.” So I pushed the negative thoughts aside and, sure enough, I won the next 5 points and the first set. During the second set I consciously kept my internal chatter much more positive and as a result my game was also consistently better.
The way we talk to ourselves is so very important in everything we do in life. If you say to yourself just before going in front of a microphone, “I am not going to do well today”, your subconscious hears you and, yep, you’ll probably blow the presentation.
And it’s not just the negativity. It’s also the language we use. Studies have been done that show when, for instance, a tennis player says to themselves “I just can’t double fault”, a huge percentage of people will go ahead and double fault. This is because the mind sees the most descriptive part of that thought, the act of double faulting, and ends up subconsciously focusing on that potential, just as it does when you think negatively.
So be careful and pay attention to all that chatter inside your brain. When you’re in the moment, push the negative out and imagine only the positive.
Goal for life: Always Learning
If you’re reading this blog you probably have some drive to keep learning but have you considered making it not just something you do when you have a free moment—learning that is–but a deliberate, regular thing you do?
Learning is essential to keeping your passions burning. You already know how energizing it is when you learn something new, something that makes you think and gets you moving. Not only that, learning keeps the mind sharp and may contribute to a longer, healthier life. Why would you let something so impactful be so incidental?
Instead, make a conscious effort to learn every day. Read a book before you go to bed. Read an article with your breakfast each morning. Take a class or workshop at least once a month. Go with your family or friends to a museum, a library event, a historic place–any place that gets you thinking–every few times you get together. Get audio books to listen to as you drive or tune into NPR or talk radio shows that interest you. Gather your colleagues and your network of like-minded people and have a regularly scheduled round robin conversation over wine or coffee.
These are all excellent learning opportunities that will keep your mind sharp and your passions burning. And you’ll be enjoying yourself while cultivating a lifelong goal that will help you live a long, happy life!
Wisdom from the Beatles
Do you think the most successful band in history might have a few bits of wisdom to share? Well, in the book “The 5 Best Decisions the Beatles ever Made” they have, well, 5 bits of wisdom–rules you might consider adopting to aid your own super success.
No. 1 Share the Spotlight
In other words, hire and work with the best people you can find, people that are smarter than you are, who know their stuff. Don’t try to take it all on yourself and don’t hire mediocre people or you may never even have a spotlight to share.
No. 2 Have a Great Dream and Share It
Dream big about something you’re really passionate about and then surround yourself with people that will be as excited, inspired and energized by your vision as you are. They should be so excited by your dream that they make it theirs as well. If you have people that see the work they do with you as just a paycheck or simply ‘doing you a favor’, have them move on and get the people that will not only keep up the energy and momentum you need but grow it.
Then there’s No. 3, 4 and 5 … but I’m not going to talk about those yet. You need to go buy the book and let the pages inspire you. Or maybe, just maybe, I will tell you about the other great decisions in future blogs. But if you’re already getting wound up by the idea of adopting the rules the great Beatles followed, why wait?
Small Decisions
I just read a great book called “The 5 Best Decisions the Beatles ever Made”. Apparently, the driving force that pushed the Beatles to be the best was that they had decided they needed to be better than Elvis, something that they said to each other almost daily. And I don’t think anyone can argue with their results!
The title of this book is what really grabbed my attention at first. Decisions are so very, very critically important in all of our lives. One or two good decisions can lift a life to great heights just as a couple of real bad decisions can be devastating. A friend of my son’s made a very bad decision one night, choosing to drive home after too many drinks. What seemed a small decision cost him 12 years in prison and, even worse, ended the lives of two innocent young girls.
On the other hand, it’s true that even small decisions can have a tremendously positive affect on our lives. Like something as simple as deciding to tell yourself every day that you are going to better than the most successful person in your field. Small decisions like that are what took the Beatles to the very top and, of course, in many people’s minds they are still the best.
I’ll talk more about the 5 best decisions discussed in the book in the next couple blog posts. Maybe a small decision like returning here next week will result in your discovery of a fantastic idea that changes everything for you. You never know.
