Inject your Life with a Regular Dose of Friends

This week has been a busy one at the Haroldsen house. We hosted a fundraiser for Utah’s governor, Gary Herbert, on Wednesday and what a great time it was. One of the best things about the event was that I was able to spend time with people I not only admire but who are also great friends of mine. Just the sight of good friends does something to boost the spirit and a night like the one we just had, with so many smiling faces around me, was like a big injection of joy.

Keeping yourself surrounded by your friends is about more than just having a good time, it’s essential to our wellbeing. POW survivors consistently talk about how having a buddy to talk to, to lean on, and to share their pain and hope with was one of the top reasons they were able to survive. Being with friends keeps you from feeling isolated, helps you keep life and what is truly important in perspective, bolsters your immune system, reduces stress, and gives you the energy and mood boost to get through demanding times.

I know we get so busy sometimes with work, errands, and family that we just don’t seem to have time to get together with others. But with all the benefits you get from having your friends around, it really should be a top priority. If you haven’t done so recently, gather together with those friends that are a positive and supportive influence and be sure you put regular gathers on your calendar and to do list. You should never be too busy to surround yourself with the very source that will help you climb your mountains and inject the kind of joy into your life that you are working towards.

The Secret to True Contentment: Work

I know everybody thinks that life is about getting to a place where you don’t have to work, where you can just take it easy and drink cocktails while sitting by the pool but I can tell you from personal experience, that is a road with few rewards. Work—having a job, a business, or personal objectives you are actively striving for—is something you will never want to be without. Work is not just for paying the bills, it is essential to having a fulfilling life.

Studies have shown that people are four times more likely to have a sense of contentment from work than they do from watching TV. That’s a pretty impressive statistic and yet, the majority of people (especially in the good ole U.S. of A.) spend huge amounts of time watching the tube. So why do we choose to watch TV rather than get to work on things that would further our personal and professional goals as well as provide us with more contentment?

It’s because work is hard. Worthwhile and challenging tasks usually take the proverbial blood, sweat, and tears and sometimes end up being a constant uphill struggle. Instinctively, we want to avoid what is difficult and TV can fill our time without taxing our brains or body. But it is the difficult work, the complicated and challenging goals we face in our day job or the effort we put into building a dream, that makes what we accomplish so satisfying. Watching TV, on the other hand, accomplishes little if anything and is not, at the end of the day, very fulfilling.

You probably enjoy games of some sort—tennis, golf, chess, sodoku, etc.—and you play because of the challenge and the way you get lost in it, looking forward to seeing what you can accomplish or motivated by that potential win. Likewise, in your work, if you take time to set difficult and complex goals and totally throw yourself into reaching those objectives, you will find that your contentment and happiness will soar, buoyed by your progress and that potential, if not actualized, win.

Bottom line: set up some very tough challenges for yourself, pushing yourself to do more complex and novel things (whether you’re a millionaire now or still working on it!). It’s the work that will lead you to a richer and more satisfying life and make the down time by the pool much more enjoyable.

It Isn’t Always About the Money

I talk a lot about creating wealth on this blog because, honestly, making better money is a major goal for many people. However, not everyone wants to be wealthy, not monetarily at least. Some people have a different currency they want to invest and see grow.

Take, for instance, Daddy Bruce Randolph, a philanthropist and restaurant owner who, at the age of 60, after many years of hard times and failed businesses, scraped together enough money to open a BBQ joint in Denver. A year after he opened, not that much better off financially, he started serving free Thanksgiving dinners to the down and out in his community, a tradition that would last almost 40 years. He would also give away what he could to help the less fortunate on Christmas, Easter, and even his own birthday. Every year his generous events would get bigger and harder to finance but he’d still keep doing it. It gained him admirers all over the country, many of whom jumped in to keep the charitable events going as they grew well beyond his means. Because of his generosity, he had to live modestly but still, he was happy.

When asked why he gave so generously, Daddy Bruce said, “You can’t beat love. Nothin’ beats love. If you give one thing, you get three things back.” He was, in the truest sense of the phrase, a very successful investor. He invested in what he believed in most and gained the love and appreciation of thousands of grateful Denver citizens as well as the admiration of people from all across the country. Not that he was after the admiration, I’m sure, but if he was getting three times what he gave, he was certainly one of the richest men of his time, living a full, passionate life through bettering the lives of others.

I understand that kind of passion. I may have amassed significant personal wealth but the real joy in it has not been what I can buy but how I can use what I have to help make positive changes in other people’s lives. It’s why I wrote my book “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. It doesn’t matter whether your dreams involve increasing your monetary wealth or enriching the lives of others, the key is to live well and let your passion lead you.

The Problem with Multi-tasking

Have you ever sat in front of the computer reading email while talking to someone on the phone and listening to the news on the nearby TV? Such multi-tasking is pretty common place these days. I’ve even seen people strolling on the beach and texting away on their Blackberry while holding a conversation with the person walking next to them. Life has sped up so much that we feel like we have to do as many things as we can at once just to keep up. But then the question is, what information and experiences are we really taking in at these times?

The thing about multi-tasking is that we can’t actually do multiple things at the same time, not fully. Our brains are built to focus, not run multiple programs at the same time the way a computer can. This means that when we have multiple things going on but we aren’t fully experiencing any one of them. We are not “living in the now” but rather in a shallow, half-realized moment. How much do you fail to notice while multi-tasking? What personal connections do you miss out on? What amazing moment in your child’s life will you never have a memory of to cherish because you are half focused elsewhere?

In our high tech, fast paced world, it might not be fashionable, but taking time to slow down, put the high-tech toys away, and become completely aware of your surroundings, the conversation you are engaged in, and the way you are feeling at the moment may actually be the ‘edge’ you need to keep up with the rat race. You will be more content moment to moment, probably much less stressed, and certainly happier with your life and your progress because you would know exactly where you are and where you have been. So next time you are ambling through the great outdoors, attending a family gathering, or even just talking on the phone, turn your focus and your full awareness on where you are and what is most important at that moment. See if it doesn’t make a huge difference in the quality of your work and the quality of your life.

Living in the Now while Planning for the Future

As I mentioned last week, you can strive to make your life better but you also need to appreciate what you have and what you accomplish today. This is the concept of living in the now. No matter what your circumstances are at the moment, you should strive to enjoy the life you are living today. This can be a difficult concept to put into practice, especially if you focus so much of your energy on the future and reaching your goals. So, how do you live in the now while working towards a better future?

The answer is to balance your thoughts between enjoying what you have now and looking forward to what you will have in the future.

Chances are if you are reading this blog you are a goal setter, or are trying to become one, so you probably spend a lot of time thinking about your future. And you should regularly take time to think about how your life will be when you reach your goals as it will help keep you focused on what you are after and motivate you to keep going. However, while chasing your goals, you should also be striving to live as fully and as passionately as you can, today.

For instance, don’t go to a cheap diner and spend the entire meal thinking about how you’ll be able to eat at high-end, ritzy places when you are successful and rich. There’s nothing wrong with letting that thought in—for a moment. But then sit back and enjoy your meal and don’t let your mind wander back to what you aren’t able to do, right now. Because right now, being frugal is probably necessary for you to eventually reach your goals as well as take care of today’s responsibilities. And besides, no ritzy place is going to have that sweet old waitress who calls you ‘hon’ and always has a colorful joke to get you laughing at the end of a long hard day.

So become a keen observer of your own mind, being conscious that you spend the majority of your time focused on taking in the experiences and sensations of the moment you are living in. Because what is the point of working through today just hoping to enjoy tomorrow? You should be enjoying today as well!

ObsessedTV.com Debuts – Inteviews Passionate Entrepreneurs

Have you heard of ObsessedTV? It’s a show that interviews entrepreneurs to talk about their passion. It’s an online-only talk show. Rather than showing people fighting, it’s about happy people doing what they love.

“We want to create a destination that takes a deeper look into personalities that we know will make the audience and advertisers both very happy.”
—Gary Vaynerchuk, host — along with Samantha Ettus

The first one (it’s geared towards women) features renowned floral designer Preston Bailey.

I had a chance to do a quick impromptu interview with Ettus.

Why is it important to get story behind the entrepreneur?

Because if we could use anything in these difficult times, it is a dose of pure passion. All entrepreneurs have it in spades. For people who have their own businesses or those that have entertained dreams of starting them, there is nothing more motivating than hearing the stories of successful entrepreneurs.

Will my Mom want to see this show? She’s 50 and loves Oprah.

Definitely! This show is geared towards those people that love to hear the story behind the person. If you like to know what motivates people, what their personal lives are like, their professional paths and their personalities, then this show will become your favorite source of entertainment.

Putting your show on the web as opposed to television is a no-brainer, but are you worried that the “Oprah audience” is mainly still attached to their set top boxes?

We believe the Oprah audience is ready to take their passion for people online. But they are also representative of the kinds of people we are aiming at attracting. Those that love people and their stories. Most of our guests appear on talk shows every day giving expert advice but rarely are they asked about their paths to success and their personal stories. There hasn’t been an episode yet in which a guest hasn’t exclaimed, “I’ve never shared that before.”

The possibilities are endless on the web. What is the greatest lesson you’ve learned so far?

The web makes it so that we are no longer constrained to three minute segments like TV talk shows and that has made these interviews far more compelling than any other medium can offer. Of course, I am constantly in awe of how much more there is to learn – it is exactly as you describe – endless – and changing at a jaw dropping clip.

Will you use social media tools on Obsessed, and how will you build the community?

We are going to get in the trenches – Our attachment to our community will be very different than any other show out there because I will be interacting with our audience on a daily basis through Twitter, Facebook, and Ustream. This will enable us to be in touch with our viewers likes and dislikes and respond rapidly to give our community the best show possible.

Check out ObsessedTV and tell me what you think in the comments!

Andrew Mager is an associate technical producer at CBS Interactive Business. See his full profile and disclosure of his industry affiliations.

The Happiness you Get from Reading

Another focus I have this year is reading or re-reading good books. Paul J. Meyer says to take the 100 best books and read them over and over again. We tend to forget most of the best of what we read.

Reading has a huge positive affect on us. The contentment factor is much higher from reading than it is from watching tv. Studies have shown that even kids get more happiness from doing homework than from tv (though they’d probably never admit it).

I’m re-reading The Power of Now and Eat to Live (for the 5th time). Also a book about tennis techniques. Another one is You, The Owner’s Manual. I’m constantly reading and re-reading great books.

What books do you plan to re-read this year?

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