A Friendly Question and an Honest Answer

There are certain questions that most of us hear nearly every day. They go something like:

• How are you doing?
• How are you feeling?
• How’s everything in your life these days?

And what is our usual response? Something like:

• I’m doing fine.
• I’m good.
• Things are moving along.

The answers that you normally don’t hear are:

• Not so good today.
• Oh man, I am feeling very depressed.
• Things are not going well in my life right now.

In our polite society, we usually don’t dump our problems on others, sometimes not even our close relatives and best friends. In most situations, that would be thought of as a considerate thing but maybe it’s not the best thing we can do for ourselves. There are times when it might be better for us to open up and tell the full truth, voicing the negative or tough things that are going on in our lives and in our minds.

But when would it be better to answer honestly rather than staying quiet and not troubling others? Well, when you have something really tough going on that friends and relatives can help you with.

It’s kind of strange that, in our society, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell someone that you have a cold but it’s a no-no to tell a friend you’re feeling down or depressed. Both conditions are real and can be difficult. And there are treatments for both but, unlike with a cold that we usually treat ourselves, depression often requires that we ask for help.

I met up with a longtime friend once who said in the usual manner, “Hey Mark, how are you doing?”  Suddenly, and to my surprise, I found myself telling him the truth, saying “Man, oh man, I’ve really been depressed lately.”

Next thing I knew I was quickly apologizing for dumping my personal problems on him. To my surprise though, he was not taken aback by my honesty but rather told me in turn that he too gets down and depressed.  I was surprised to hear him say that because he always seems to be on top of the world and so very happy.

He then gave me some very good advice on things I could do to pull myself out of my slump and in a very short order I began to feel better.  The advice he gave me was a series of things I already knew but had slowly stopped doing. Things like eating foods that can improve my mood and taking supplements like 5-HTP and Saint John’s Wort. And just as important as all the rest, he suggested that I push myself to stay busy and keep connected to friends and relatives.

I think because I am an active and wealthy person, people look at me and think I must always feel positive and never get depressed.  But many times, my advantages in life also make it difficult to feel motivated. I don’t have to work, and I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want to. Even though that might seem to be a good thing, it can also drive you crazy.

We all need to keep busy and feel like we have a purpose. We need to stay engaged and connected to friends and relatives. We also need challenges which mean constantly setting goals for ourselves and staying on track as we pursue those goals.  Yes, I am preaching a well-worn subject to you, but I am very definitely preaching to myself as well. Because, even though I know this stuff, and you do too, we all need a little reminder now and then. And to get that, sometimes all it takes is giving a friendly question an honest answer.

The Greatest Country

Although, the subjects of my posts are mainly about health and wealth, this week I’ve just got to say something about the race for the White House.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone that seems more non-presidential than the guy with the bad hair who never talks about any specifics and who acts like a child.  Have you noticed how Mr. Donald Trump loves to call people names and constantly tells people how great he is?

Yes, we all did that when we were kids, but that’s what kids do and most of us grow up and stop doing those kinds of juvenile things. Eight years ago, I was saying how much he reminds me of Vladimir Putin who also just can’t seem to get over himself and how wonderful he thinks he is. And now we know just how much Trump wants to be like him in every way. Most of us, if we grow up thinking we’re the center of the universe, soon realize that we are not nearly as important as we once thought we were.

Trump’s big slogan for his campaign continues to irritate me: Make American Great Again. He used to just say that we were not the great country we once were but now he talks about the USA like it is the worst country that ever existed, making the most outrageous claims, even about things that have been completely debunked.

Personally, I don’t think America ever stopped being “great”.  In fact, it seems to me that our country, even with its ups and downs and hard times, keeps getting better.  I’ve been to 84 countries in my life and lived a couple years in the Middle East in Ankara, Turkey and a couple years in England and Wales, and from my distant and far observations, America has always been one of the finest countries in the world for so many reasons. One of those reasons is because of our great constitution. And now, even that seems to be threatened.

Some people would disagree with me when I say our country gets better all the time and might point out the many terrible things they see every day and night on the news.  My response to that is pretty simple.  The news, especially the cable news that runs 24 hours a day, is in the business of making money and they need to fill up those hours with things they know people will tune in for.  They know they’ll get higher viewership when their news stories are sensational, especially when it’s bad and shocking.  That’s why watching the news gives us the impression that things are much worse than they really are.

Right now, our violent crime rate is at a 50-year low even though some crimes like homicide, which has been in decline these last few years, was increasing during all 4 years of the Trump administration according to the Council on Criminal Justice. Our gross domestic product, a primary indicator of economic health, is up 8% from 4 years ago and is growing 3 times the annual average this year alone. So, there are two great reasons to appreciate the USA right now.

We are also recognized as having the largest economy in the world, being the dominant global military power, being the leading producer of both oil and natural gas, and are known for constantly shaping global culture and progress. We have the vast majority of the best ranked universities in the world and lead in entrepreneurship with nearly 6 times more startups each year than any other country.

In other words, we have power, resources, education and ingenuity like no other country on the entire globe. So, I say to my readers and to Mr. Donald Trump, “America is already great, and will continue to be great with the kind of leadership that respects and adheres to our constitution. And I am just so proud to be an American!”