Small Steps to Your Better Self

Do you ever wish you could just better yourself as a person? Do you feel overly pessimistic, especially judgmental, or too self-involved? If you aren’t happy with who you are, you can improve this just as you can improve your financial situation, health, or skills. Although it is less common to hear that someone’s goal is to be a nicer, more positive person, it isn’t any less important or admirable. In fact, it might be one of the most important goals you can have.

If you’ve read my book, you know about the power of the ‘Bite Size’ approach to reaching your goal. If you haven’t read it, you can get your copy here, then go to Chapter 6 on page 57 for the story of how this method kept a man alive and helped him rescue himself when everything was against his survival.

Becoming a nicer, more positive person may not sound as monumental a goal as keeping oneself alive in dire circumstances, but the approach that will get you there is not really any different. The most important thing to remember is to take it one small step at a time. That’s where the Bite Size approach comes in.

You became who you are over a long period of time, and you were affected and changed by many small influences and experiences. It makes sense that your road to changing your attitude towards others and how you live your life will likewise take many small gestures and encouraging encounters.

You can begin by taking note of the things you do that make up the behavior you want to change. Then take on just one of those little things and focus on eliminating or transforming it into something positive for others and yourself.

If something so simple as taking one bite size step at a time can be so powerful as to save a man’s life, it can certainly help you to improve the person you are and better your life and the lives of those around you. It just takes that first small step. What will be your first small step to becoming a better person than you are even now?

Habits That Hinder

Wow, how stupid am I or, I guess I should say, what a habit driven man am I?  A few days ago, my wife and I drove our SUV to do a little shopping.  We spent maybe a half an hour at Walmart, walked back to the car, and were surprised to see, when I turned the key, that the car was already running! The SUV is the vehicle that my wife drives, while I have become totally used to driving my Tesla that doesn’t use a key and starts by putting your foot on the brake pedal. When you leave the car, you just walk away, with the electric engine stopping on its own and the car doors locking when you are a few yards away. So, my habit from driving the Tesla was so strong that when I drove our SUV, that habit took over and I didn’t even know it.

Most of the time, when we talk or read about habits, we are usually referring to bad habits.  One interesting and good thing to know, which sadly many people don’t, is that there are methods that can help you change your bad habits and develop good habits. It takes time and you need to consistently stick with the plan or method to make those changes but it can be done.

The most common bad habits make up quite a list. The following is not even close to a complete list of bad habits, but take a look and ask yourself if you suffer from any of these:

1. Smoking
2. Heavy alcohol drinking
3. Watching too much TV
4. Being on the computer or smart phone too much
5. Spending too much time playing video games
6. Eating unhealthy junk food
7. Eating way too much food
8. Consuming too much sugar
9. Eating late night snacks
10. Not allowing enough time for a full night sleep
11. Complaining about almost everything
12. Behavior that leaves you angry, worried or stressed
13. Overspending your way into debt
14. Being consistently late
15. Being rude to others
16. Road rage
17. Driving too fast
18. Losing your temper
19. Lying
20. Procrastinating
21. Always bragging
22. Being a know it all
23. Letting fear stop you from doing something new
24. Spending time with negative friends to bring you down
25. Being pessimistic
26. Always interrupting other people
27. Swearing constantly
28. Nail biting
29. Picking your nose
30. Slouching and poor posture

And, yes, that is just a very short list compared to some of the lists I have seen. So how many, if any, of these bad habits do you have and would like to get rid of? What causes bad habits in the first place and what can you do to drop a bad habit and take on good habits? I will address the answers to those questions in next week’s blog.

Leave The Pessimists Behind

I’ve had a lot of time and reasons to really think about all I want to do with my life these last few weeks. I’m pretty ambitious and some people, after hearing about my recent death scare, might think I should slow down or that my ambitious goals aren’t realistic. But you know, I’m not going to let other people’s pessimism and nay-saying stop me from finding a way to accomplish whatever it is that I want to do.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that you should listen to other people’s suggestions … their positive suggestions that can show you options to make things happen. But there is one thing you don’t want to listen to … the pessimists and naysayers that tell you it can’t be done, that you’ll fail, and/or criticize you for even trying.

If someone has nothing but negative responses to your dreams and ideas, walk away. All ideas will have cons as well as pros and any true friend should be able to give you a little of both. A true friend will support you in aiming for your dream and help you find sensible ways to accomplish them.

People who do nothing but aim to discourage you are not telling you what they think of you or your dreams but of theirs. These are the people who cannot or will not allow themselves to dream or are threatened by the success of others. Pay them no mind. Simply go out and accomplish your dream. Then maybe, seeing you succeed where they were certain you would not might just strike them in such a way that they will eventually dare to dream for greater things for themselves.