The Paths of Should and Must

I ended my blog last week by saying, “Give more so others can live more,” which, of course, not only helps your life but also lifts the life of others. My dear and wonderful giving wife, Kimberly, is always giving of her time and talents as well as gifts to my kids, to my grandkids, to my ex-wife, and to strangers. Recently she gave me a great gift. It was a simple book but, wow, what a great life giving and life changing book it can be if you follow the advice of the author.

The book she gave me is entitled The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion, written by Elle Luna. The author is convinced that those people who do what they ‘must’ usually discover who they really are and what they really can do with their lives as opposed to those people who do what other people say they should do and should become.

Elle goes on to make a very good case for following what we feel we ‘must’ do versus what we feel we ‘should’ do. “Must is different. Must is who we are, what we believe and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It’s that which calls us most deeply. It’s our convictions, our passions, our deepest held urges and desires–unavoidable, undeniable, and inexplicable. Unlike the should, must doesn’t accept compromises.”

The author goes on to explain how to get rid of all the ‘shoulds’ of your life and then how to discover what the ‘must’ of your life and existence really is. On the ‘should’ side, she suggests you make a list of what others have told you that you should do and should become then with that list you can start to figure ways to eliminate the ‘shoulds’.

Finishing these sentences is a good way to start, Elle suggests.

YOU SHOULD NEVER ________________.

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS___________________.

YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO ___________________.

YOU SHOULD NOT____________.

From the time we were born, or as very young kids, all of us, no doubt, have been told what we should do or should not do or should become and most people seem to blindly follow that advice even when we are mature adults. So, we are not really living our own life or following what we truly love and are good at so we don’t become the best of ourselves.

I want to close out this week’s blog by quoting a famous person:

“It’s your life, but only if you make it so. The standards by which you live must be your own standards, your own values, your own convictions in regard to what is right and wrong, what is true and false, what is important and what is trivial.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

Next week I will discuss ways and methods that the brilliant Elle Luna suggests to move from living a life of ‘should’ and moving to discover your real self and live an enhanced and happier more fulfilling life of ‘must’!