Devising Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations sound so simple but they can make such a huge difference in so many areas of your life. The key to this, besides practicing them (see last week’s post), is creating the right kind of positive statements.
I was so dramatically reminded of how powerful these are when I used them during a tennis tournament and saw an immediate jump in the level of my game. So learning from that, I began adding more and more short and concise PA’s to other parts of my life.
Here are my physical and tennis PA’s:
1….I am strong and worthy
2… I am fast and flexible
3… My serve is very powerful
4… My serve hits different spots in the box
5… I have a strong slice backhand
6… I have a strong topspin forehand
7… I have a strong return of serve
8… I have great stamina
Notice that I never say “I don’t” or “I’m not” or anything negative. You don’t want to have images of what you don’t want going through your head. For instance, if you repeated “I will not be nervous at the interview”, you’ll be sending images of your nervous self through your brain over and over. What you want to say is “I am confident and it shows” then you’ll have this image in your mind of yourself in a confident pose, and see others admiring you for it, and so that is the image and attitude you’ll take with you to the interview.
If you like, start by using some of the PA’s I listed that appeal to you. Change them to fit your situation and eventually you will work out your own list. Just remember … keep it concise, simple, and positive. And keep practicing!
Tiny Moments for Powerful Affirmation
Lately I’ve been blogging a bit about the life changing power of directing and controlling the chatterbox inside your head. So now I thought it would be helpful to give some specifics of how I have been practicing this inner-self talk.
For years I’ve had a morning hot tub time routine. I stretch and let the water jets work the kinks out of my lower back and neck, silently counting the number of seconds I hold each position. So a few weeks ago, there I was in my hot tub counting away and suddenly I thought “Hey wait a minute. Why not use this hot tub time to practice my positive affirmations?” (Or my “PA’s” as I like to call them.) So now I repeat “I’m strong and worthy” 50 or 100 times instead of counting seconds. Then I change positions and silently repeat in my head multiple times “I am healthy and happy”.
It’s amazing what this little exercise can do to help you in your daily life and it can be done in odd spare moments. It’s something you can do while waiting in line at the store, on your drive to work, as you shower, etc. Even in the middle of a busy, stressful day you can steal a moment at your desk to do some deep breathing and PAs (and on such days, this will really help!) I do PAs specific to my task all the time now. For instance, when I am playing a tennis match, I run through my physical and tennis PA’s as I play and between points.
Next week, I’ll share even more specific PAs and help you keep a focus on them until they become a habit. If you missed the articles about PAs, see the list at the end of this blog and start practicing this simple but powerful little exercise and see for yourself how it can really improve your life and how you see it!
Feed Your Subconcious Powerful Positive Words
I’ve been thinking about my mentor and good friend Paul J Meyer (1928-2009) a bit this week. I have an entire chapter about Paul on page 173 of my book How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. He was just that influential to me and to many other people. Probably the most important thing I learned from him was the life changing power of “positive affirmations”. Like other great things that I thought I learned, at some point I stopped practicing and fell out of the habit of using affirmations in my everyday life. But I’m making a great effort to change that.
Paul believed that affirmations could work miracles in just about everything we do. And I believe it too. You know the adage that if you say something enough times, you’ll believe it? Well, since your inner self is always listening to what you say and what you think, repeating positive statements about something as if it already happened will have you believing it and acting on that belief. And if it’s not already true, it will be soon enough!
I find it astounding that the mere uttering of certain words and phrases can change our lives. But it can and it does. The only real hurdle to having the power of positive words work for you is committing to practicing it. It’s the same as keeping in physical shape by exercising. You have to keep doing it your whole life if you want to stay in shape and reap the benefits. This is a lesson I’m relearning now. I certainly hope I don’t forget this great lesson and keep feeding my subconscious lots of positive words for every part of my life.
Limit Your Goals, Focus your Power
I ran across a great quote today:
Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all of your energies on a limited set of targets.
~ Nido Qubein
How true. Trying to work on all the goals you have simultaneously means you will need to split your time and resources among them and are less likely to reach them or at least not to the extent that you might have hoped to. But what if you spent all your time and resources on one goal?
For example, maybe you’d like to be a great tennis, baseball, hockey and football player. Can you imagine anyone trying to work out, practice and play all those games during the same time period? You could do it but you wouldn’t be that great at any one of them. Now, if you picked just one and put all your work outs and practice time into getting ready for it, don’t you think you’d be very good if not great at that one sport?
If you set multiple goals this year, choose just one or two to work at present. Pick the most important or the most urgent. And if you choose two, try to pick ones that are in two different areas of your life, like one being to improve your career while the other is a personal health goal so you only have one thing to focus on in each area.
I’m not saying you need to put aside or forget your other goals. You can always work a little here and there on them, preparing for the time when you can give them the focus needed to work effectively. The bottom line is, you should concentrate on a “limited set of targets” so you are going after them with enough energy and enthusiasm to be super successful!
Making 2012 Your Year of Change
2011 is being called the Year of the Protestor. From the uprising in Tunisia in January that ignited the courage of others in nearby countries for months afterwards to the Moscow rallies in the last weeks of the year, the common people rose up to protest injustice and oppression and forced people to hear them and to change. It was inspiring to see what people could accomplish when they stood up and rallied against the powers that be but it was also sad to hear of the violence and pain that had to be endured to enact the changes the protestors were after. But change did come in many countries simply because so many people persisted even when it was terribly difficult and even when it was life threatening. They were unshakably dedicated to their purpose and that made all the difference.
I wish the protests did not have to include the violence and pain and I hope that things will soon settle down with peace and freedom for these people that have suffered for so long. But pain or discomfort or just frustrating moments usually accompany change and is the reason why people commonly shy from fighting for it.
We are very lucky here that what we have to fight for are not basic freedoms or a life without constant fear of pain or death. We have our hard times, but the choices we have are, for the most part, within our grasp and what we have to work through is not so hard compared with what people in so many countries we watched this past year went through.
How about making 2012 a year of real change here, in our own lives? Let’s choose to take on the challenges that will make a better life for ourselves, our family, our friends and everyone we work with. All we need to do is keep focused on our goals, those end results, that will make our lives so much richer. And if it gets tough, just think of those people who rose up against their oppressive governments and what must have stuck in their mind to keep them so determined. You can be so determined too. Just keep your eye on the prize and keep in mind what the change will mean for your life.
Push Yourself in 2012
As we come upon the end of another year, I’ve been thinking about what I’ve done this past year and what I want to do this next year. And in the process my thoughts turn to what I’m going to be writing to you all. And I find myself hoping that many, if not most of you will go out in 2012 and take big risks, chase your dreams, and really put your all into getting what you want out of life.
You are probably many times more capable, talented, and resourceful than you give yourself credit for. These last few years have been hard with the economy repressed as it is and we’ve seen so many people– friends, family … even ourselves—feeling it in our businesses, the loss of jobs, the difficulty in finding work. But you know, you can make the present and your future what you want it to be regardless of all that. The route to your goals may not always be so fast and direct, but there is always a way.
This year, promise yourself you will take chances, push yourself, and find a way to make significant progress towards, if not attain, the goals you have. You’ll be amazed by what you can do and will feel energized and more alive just for making that great effort and even more so when you see what you can accomplish!
I hope you and yours have the most wonderful and bright New Year.
Positivity Outlooks Take Practice
One last note on this positive/negative inner chatter issue–well, maybe not my last note ever but at least for a while. As I’ve said before knowing something is not useful until you actually do something with the knowledge. We’ve talked quite a bit about this subject here and there the last few months, but have you done anything to actually improve your inner voice’s attitude?
Years ago I really got into programming my brain with lots of positive thoughts and positive affirmations but I’ve been slipping on that the last 10 or maybe even 20 years because I thought that I was beyond that kind of stuff. The thing is, I didn’t lose the knowledge but I did fall out of practice with it, and that was key. You can’t say you’re a great tennis player no matter how well you know the sport, unless you’re actually out there practicing and playing! With my loss in the final round of the Huntsman World Senior Games tennis match in which I had sabotaged myself with all my negative self-talk, I really started to think seriously about how much I let my thoughts turn pessimistic with worry and self-induced stress. I knew it was not helpful. I even knew how to combat it. I had just stopped putting this knowledge into practice.
The great thing about this is that once you get the hang of it and practice enough you can use this positive reinforcement to change and improve just about any part of your life. From losing weight to overcoming addictions to making more money, you can stop worrying about so many things that add unnecessary stress to your life and actually live! Try it and I promise you that it works, especially if you keep practicing. So here’s what you and I must do … No. 1– start observing what that inner chatter is saying and, No. 2–feed yourself positive thoughts and affirmations, every single time you observe the self-talk going the wrong way. It’s not hard, it just takes practice!
The Power of Actually Using Positive Thinking
Recently I picked up a rather old book, from 1987, called “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers. I remember hearing years ago of the physical demonstration that she talks about in her book.
During her seminars she would get a volunteer out of her audience and have them hold their arms straight out to the side. She would tell the volunteer to resist with all their strength as she attempted to push down on their arms. “Not once have I succeeded in pushing ….the arms down on my initial trial” she states in her book. She would then tell the volunteer to repeat “I am a weak and unworthy person” ten times and really feel the statement. When trying to push down the arms right after this, she was able to pull both arms down. To prove her point even more, she would again ask the person to repeat ten times the positive statement “I am a strong and worthy person” but this time, she would not be able to budge their arms, even more so than the first time she tried to push them down.
A couple days ago, just before heading out to play in a round robin tennis tourney, I repeated to myself, many times over, (even thought I felt kind of childish doing it) ” I am a very strong tennis player and I am very worthy of winning” and also repeating “I am younger and more fit now than I was a year ago”—and did it ever work! I played 4 rounds of tennis winning each round by a very wide margin!!
Most of what Jeffers had to say was stuff I already knew but I was not doing it anymore. It was like a rebirth doing it again and, wow, does it feel good. The power of positive thinking is pretty amazing. Especially when you remember to use it!
The Real Measure of a Successful Life
I wanted to mention this book that Craig Horton, who I shared a letter from in my post last week, recommended. It’s a powerful book about mentorship titled “A Game Plan for Life-The Power of Mentoring” by John Wooden and Don Yaeger. Craig considers this one of the most powerful books he’s ever read. He’s not the only one.
The retired basketball player and coach mentored and inspired unknown numbers of people through his work as a coach and through his publications and lectures. In this, his last book, he first focuses on the people who helped foster his values then, through interviews excerpts, he turns the reader’s attention to number of his most successful mentorees, giving us an inside view of the affect good mentoring can have on an individual, not just as athletes but as human beings. Wooden is particularly focused on being successful without having to sacrifice principles. That is a focus I am behind 200%.
I really like Wooden’s philosophies and know you’d get something out of reading this book if you take what he says to heart. You see, how well you live is not purely about the success you have, even though in your mind and actions, it sure seems like it. The real measure of a successful life is how much you improve the lives of others. You can do this by sharing your success—be it monetary, career, personal, emotional, relationship, etc.–with others in ways that help them achieve and fulfill their lives as well.
The Rewards of Helping Empower Others
I received a very kind note about last week’s blog and I wanted to share it with you some of what he said:
What I have always appreciated over the years in our association with each other is that you are always willing to help people grow and be productive in the real estate business even the little guy. Your efforts have never really been about making a lot of money but helping others which is precisely why you made a lot of money in the seminar business and book business because you lived by that philosophy. I have always found that people who are the most successful are very willing to help others. You are one of these people which I deeply appreciate.”
–Craig Horton
Craig sums up quite well my philosophy about why I do what I do. It’s not about money although I do spend a fair amount of time advising people about how to make money. It really comes down to helping empower people to do what they desire to do with their lives. It could as easily be making great art, getting in shape, or building your own home. I just want people to do with their lives that which fulfills them so they can be proud of what they accomplish and happy with the live they live.
One of the things I also like to encourage is people helping people. This is what I do to help people because it is that one very valuable thing I have that I know can touch lives and make a difference. That is also very fulfilling. Especially on those days when you receive such nice comments and know that what you are doing is truly helping others. Thanks Craig!
