Push Yourself in 2012
As we come upon the end of another year, I’ve been thinking about what I’ve done this past year and what I want to do this next year. And in the process my thoughts turn to what I’m going to be writing to you all. And I find myself hoping that many, if not most of you will go out in 2012 and take big risks, chase your dreams, and really put your all into getting what you want out of life.
You are probably many times more capable, talented, and resourceful than you give yourself credit for. These last few years have been hard with the economy repressed as it is and we’ve seen so many people– friends, family … even ourselves—feeling it in our businesses, the loss of jobs, the difficulty in finding work. But you know, you can make the present and your future what you want it to be regardless of all that. The route to your goals may not always be so fast and direct, but there is always a way.
This year, promise yourself you will take chances, push yourself, and find a way to make significant progress towards, if not attain, the goals you have. You’ll be amazed by what you can do and will feel energized and more alive just for making that great effort and even more so when you see what you can accomplish!
I hope you and yours have the most wonderful and bright New Year.
The Power of Actually Using Positive Thinking
Recently I picked up a rather old book, from 1987, called “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers. I remember hearing years ago of the physical demonstration that she talks about in her book.
During her seminars she would get a volunteer out of her audience and have them hold their arms straight out to the side. She would tell the volunteer to resist with all their strength as she attempted to push down on their arms. “Not once have I succeeded in pushing ….the arms down on my initial trial” she states in her book. She would then tell the volunteer to repeat “I am a weak and unworthy person” ten times and really feel the statement. When trying to push down the arms right after this, she was able to pull both arms down. To prove her point even more, she would again ask the person to repeat ten times the positive statement “I am a strong and worthy person” but this time, she would not be able to budge their arms, even more so than the first time she tried to push them down.
A couple days ago, just before heading out to play in a round robin tennis tourney, I repeated to myself, many times over, (even thought I felt kind of childish doing it) ” I am a very strong tennis player and I am very worthy of winning” and also repeating “I am younger and more fit now than I was a year ago”—and did it ever work! I played 4 rounds of tennis winning each round by a very wide margin!!
Most of what Jeffers had to say was stuff I already knew but I was not doing it anymore. It was like a rebirth doing it again and, wow, does it feel good. The power of positive thinking is pretty amazing. Especially when you remember to use it!
The Real Measure of a Successful Life
I wanted to mention this book that Craig Horton, who I shared a letter from in my post last week, recommended. It’s a powerful book about mentorship titled “A Game Plan for Life-The Power of Mentoring” by John Wooden and Don Yaeger. Craig considers this one of the most powerful books he’s ever read. He’s not the only one.
The retired basketball player and coach mentored and inspired unknown numbers of people through his work as a coach and through his publications and lectures. In this, his last book, he first focuses on the people who helped foster his values then, through interviews excerpts, he turns the reader’s attention to number of his most successful mentorees, giving us an inside view of the affect good mentoring can have on an individual, not just as athletes but as human beings. Wooden is particularly focused on being successful without having to sacrifice principles. That is a focus I am behind 200%.
I really like Wooden’s philosophies and know you’d get something out of reading this book if you take what he says to heart. You see, how well you live is not purely about the success you have, even though in your mind and actions, it sure seems like it. The real measure of a successful life is how much you improve the lives of others. You can do this by sharing your success—be it monetary, career, personal, emotional, relationship, etc.–with others in ways that help them achieve and fulfill their lives as well.
The Long Arm of Influence
This past week, a very influential woman died. She was influential not because she had a direct impact on your life or mine, but because she shaped the life of someone who does have a direct impact on people all over the world–that was Hilary Clinton’s mother, Dorothy Rodham.
It’s truly amazing, when you think that the actions of one person can have affected the entire globe. I am certain Secretary Clinton would not be where she is today if her mother had not been the kind of person she was. Hilary Clinton has said that her mother had taught her to stand up for herself and to stand up for those who needed help. Instilling those values in her daughter is a huge reason why we have this very strong and determined US Secretary of State right now. I doubt Dorothy Rodham thought to herself, as she was raising her kids, “I better make sure they know how to stand up for themselves because some day they may have to do it in front of the whole world.” But the fact that she did has had an effect on our world’s history.
I just wanted you think about that. You never know what kind of effect you are going to have. You affect your kids, colleagues, friends and even strangers you run into and you have no idea how huge or small your influence will be. So consider that what you do, how you impact the people around you, and what you teach those that look up to you may very well have long reaching consequences. Knowing that, don’t you think we all should really concentrate on having a positive, uplifting and encouraging demeanor and when we pass on any bits of wisdom, be sure that we are more likely to push people to do right by those they know and for themselves?
I can think of several people I have meet through the years that affected me greatly including Curtis Carlson and Paul Meyer who I write about in my book, “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. My books, this blog, and all the little projects I have going on that aim to help others are a result of the influence of great individuals like these. If you haven’t read about them yet, get the book here and be influenced then go out and influence other is a huge, positive way.
The Right Kind of People
We are in Portugal cycling this week. What a great place, great wines and great people. Earlier in the week we spent a fantastic evening with Julio Bastos and wife Isabelle at their incredible estate. The Bastos are maybe the 3rd richest family in Portugal. They wined and dined us in their castle-like home, complete with waiters and cooks that waited on us hand and foot.
If you Google Julio Tassara de Bastos you’ll find an impressive list of endeavors and success primarily in the production and export of wine. Although I don’t deal in wine myself (I do, however, drink my share!) I jumped at the chance to meet this successful couple and speak with them because they are the right kind of people to know. I was even more assured of this after our evening together. They were very warm and friendly people–not at all stuffy like some super wealthy people–and they even expressed sincere enthusiasm about eventually reading my books. It’s that kind of openness in people that make them so valuable as business contacts as well as friends.
I guess the real lesson here is not what you know but who you know, and what kind of people you come to connect with. It’s rather simple. Hang out with the right people and they will lead you to more of the right people and who knows what may come from that.
Small Decisions
I just read a great book called “The 5 Best Decisions the Beatles ever Made”. Apparently, the driving force that pushed the Beatles to be the best was that they had decided they needed to be better than Elvis, something that they said to each other almost daily. And I don’t think anyone can argue with their results!
The title of this book is what really grabbed my attention at first. Decisions are so very, very critically important in all of our lives. One or two good decisions can lift a life to great heights just as a couple of real bad decisions can be devastating. A friend of my son’s made a very bad decision one night, choosing to drive home after too many drinks. What seemed a small decision cost him 12 years in prison and, even worse, ended the lives of two innocent young girls.
On the other hand, it’s true that even small decisions can have a tremendously positive affect on our lives. Like something as simple as deciding to tell yourself every day that you are going to better than the most successful person in your field. Small decisions like that are what took the Beatles to the very top and, of course, in many people’s minds they are still the best.
I’ll talk more about the 5 best decisions discussed in the book in the next couple blog posts. Maybe a small decision like returning here next week will result in your discovery of a fantastic idea that changes everything for you. You never know.
Friendships for Health
It’s not only me that believes keeping up friendships is important to your health and the quality of life. I recently came across an article on the Mayo Clinic site (that highly respected health research and educational organization) about just how important it is to maintain your friends and social circle.
According to this article friendships can:
• Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
• Boost your happiness
• Reduce stress
• Improve your self-worth
• Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
• Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise
Now that’s a lot of benefits for something most of us would like to have more of anyways! So why don’t we keep up with our friends better?
It’s because life just gets in the way. We are constantly drawn away by other priorities such as work, caring for children or elderly parents, or trying to make a dent in that long to-do list that is always hanging over our heads. We also move around a lot in this country so even well-established friendships start to fade with the distance between us all. And then it’s hard to find the time and even motivation to go out and make new friends. But it would seem, we can’t really afford not to.
It’s not that we need to have a lot of friends to get these benefits, but rather, according to the Mayo clinic article, it’s the quality of the friendships–do the friendships you have fulfill your individual need for a certain kind of closeness, comfort, and availability? It’s different for everyone but the important thing is to value those friendships, take time to call, visit, write or whatever else is appropriate for the relationship you have with your friends. Don’t let time and distance get in the way of acquiring all the great benefits friendships bring you and giving those same benefits to others.
If you’d like to read the Mayo clinic article, you can find it at: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/friendships/MH00125
Comfort of the Familiar vs. Excitement of the New
I’m still on a high from the great trip we had a couple of weeks ago. I love being out on the road, looking at all the wonderful scenery we pass, some familiar, some new. I know when we stopped in Garland Utah, both my wife and I were struck by how the town has not changed in 50 years and we both agreed that we actually liked it that way.
Now, if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, that may not sound like me. I have often gone on and on about how novel experiences make things exciting, fires up your passion for living and keep your mind active and in shape. But life doesn’t have to always be about excitement. There can be a great feeling of comfort and safety when things don’t change and sometimes we need that. For instance, on this last trip, there was a lot of comfort and joy in seeing old friends. However, often times when I travel I try to meet new people. I think we need both–the comfort and ease of the familiar and the excitement of the new.
It really comes down to balancing what you do. I think for many people, sticking with the old familiar things provides a comfort they find hard to let go of but it also can hold you back from living fully. In order to liven up your life and to live passionately you need to get out of that comfortable place occasionally. Try something new, meet and chat with complete strangers, travel somewhere unfamiliar. And in between, rest and recharge with the comfort of the things you know well.
Recharging and Making Memories
My wife and I just returned from the annual Stein Eriksen Tennis tourney just south of Ennis Montana, high on a mountain over the Madison River. Kimberly and I planned out the trip in detail, contacting a number of people to tell them we were going to stop by. When we finished the trip I was a little shell shocked by the “super high” that the trip gave me. And it was really more the people and the reconnecting with old friends that did the trick, even though the scenery was spectacular.
Our first stop was cute little Garland Utah where we visited with Bob Jensen, an old friend I’d met in England back in 1963. Then we drove to Providence Utah where I renewed my friendship with a middle school friend, Jay Low. Then it was onto Bear Lake where we stayed overnight with my good friend and prior business partner for over 17 years, George Winquist.
When we arrived at the tourney, we were warmly greeted by Stein and Francoise Eriksen and several other friends from my more recent past. The next day Bjorn Eriksen buzzed the house in his small plane to let us know that he and his girlfriend had arrived. For the next three days 40 of us played tennis, laughed and talked over great wine. Isn’t it amazing that you can go a year or even many years without talking to a good friend and then you pick right up as if no time has passed at all?
Even our drive back was highlighted by great conversation. In Jackson there was another middle school friend, George Thompson and wife Jett. The next day we stopped to see sister Sue and her husband Paul and my brother Scott and his wife Pat. And every conversation just recharged me more.
Family, friends, and tons of great memories made just filled me up on this trip. It gave both my wife and I a super re-charging of mental and even physical batteries. All of us can and should re-dedicate ourselves to staying in touch and re-connecting with friends and relatives–it’s the best stuff in life, keeping us pumped up and making life so much richer.
Don’t Worry, At Least Not Right Now
I have a colleague starting up a new business. There are many unknowns and lots of reasons why she might worry and she does. But she does something odd. Instead of trying to stop the worry, she sets aside time for worrying. First thing in the morning while making coffee and eating breakfast, she worries. She writes down her worries, adds tasks to her to-do lists if the worries warrant further research or planning, and then goes on with her day.
It actually makes sense. Although worry is a major cause of stress, it’s still a necessary process. Worry provides forethought, planning, and often forces us to think creatively to solve or prepare for issues. The problem is not worry itself, it’s how excessive we let our worries get, how much time we waste worrying about the same things over and over, and how we let worry halt our progress. So really, it’s a balancing act to be a good worrier.
If you find worry getting the best of you, try setting aside time for worrying and write down your concerns to get them out of your head. Once you’ve gone over them and determined what you need to do, if anything, don’t allow those worries to take up any more of your time or brain power, at least until your next worry session. This will make worrying more productive (now doesn’t that sound strange?) and you are less likely to stress yourself out to the point of taking no action when you need to be taking some risks. This will take some ‘living in the moment’ skills but then, I do think that is the best way to live.
