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Forgiving Ourselves

June 8, 2018 by  
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How do you and I feel when we set our sights and goals very high only to fall short of those objectives?  If you are like me, it’s very easy to get down on yourself and beat yourself up and that can set you back a few miles mentally, making you feel terrible or pretty much worthless.  This can happen to anyone, even the very rich and very famous, as we have sadly seen with a number of super-rich and famous people that have taken their own lives.

I grew up in a culture that pounded into my head the bible scripture of Matthew 5:48 which says “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” Quite frankly, I think that did me more harm than good, because as a young boy, I tried and tried but couldn’t seem to be “perfect” in anything at all. I would look around at other people and saw many that seemed to have a perfect life.  Little did I know then that pretty much no one on the planet has had a perfect life. If a person spends too much time and effort trying to become perfect, it can absolutely ruin them. Quite frankly, I think that scripture passage has been the cause of more than a few suicides.

We certainly don’t want to stop trying to reach our lofty goals and become better and better at whatever we choose to do, but we also must learn and practice forgiving ourselves.  It’s kind of strange to me that sometimes it seems easier to forgive someone else when they screw up but much harder to forgive ourselves. I totally agree with John M. Grohol Psy.D. when he wrote his “5 Ways of Letting Go of the Past”

  1. Make a decision to let it go.
  2. Express your pain and your responsibility.
  3. Stop being a victim and blaming others.
  4. Focus on the present, the here and now, and joy.
  5. Forgive them and forgive yourself.

Then there is some super wise advice from a great writer by the name of a Noah St. John. It’s from his book called The Book of AFFORMATIONS®, regarding a program he calls “Permission to Succeed”:

  1. Admit your past mistakes.
  2. Realize you did the best you could do at the time.
  3. Take actions to make sure you don’t repeat those mistakes.

Our brains also play a big a part in our success and failure, as Noah notes in another book of his, Get Rid of Your Head Trash: How to Avoid 3 Big Money Mistakes Even Smart People Make.  I love this title because it really says it all.

In Noah’s book The Secret Code of Success, he maintains that we all need to let up on ourselves and give ourselves breaks and take time to enjoy and celebrate the self. You need to let go of the past when it’s hurting you and accept the present. He states that the key to letting go of the past – and I’d say even if it’s the past of 5 minutes – is to forgive yourself and others that may have mistreated you. That’s great advice that works to make our lives so much better, more successful, and more productive. Perhaps we don’t have not perfect lives, but they can be pretty darn good ones with so much less stress!

 

Failures at First Are Triumphs at Last

May 18, 2018 by  
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I believe everyone has the power and potential to accomplish the impossible if they are willing and wanting to take the proper steps forward. One of those steps, which Mark mentions all the time in his books, is to have a clear and concise plan with written goals.

Once you plan your work; then work your plan.

Those were closing words from Jeff Griffin on last week’s post. This amazing man has accomplished so much since a 40 foot fall parlayed him from the waist down and put him in a wheelchair. That accident certainly didn’t paralyze his brain or his motivation to help himself and to help other people. Read below some more of his story and some of his words of wisdom.

My teaching style, humor, and personality have made me one of the most liked and sought-after teachers during my 16-year career. I would consistently teach my students to give themselves permission to fail so they can succeed. I’ve left a consistent and comfortable paycheck and career to pursue my new dream of public speaking. I may fail but I also know I may succeed.

Because failures at first are triumphs at last, as long as we just don’t quit!

I earned my master’s degree in education and curriculum and created a worldwide peer-to-peer leadership program for third-world countries that was recognized at the United Nations in New York City. I’ve started two successful businesses, one before my teaching career and this one! I’ve created a nonprofit organization called the “Road to Recovery”, which impacts thousands of injured vets and physically disabled persons in my community and around the world. I enjoy mentoring people, distributing wheelchairs to those in need, and giving hope through my humanitarian efforts.

Every great man and woman of history is a person of service.

My greatest accomplishment so far is being married to my best friend for over 20 years. Together, Emily and I have four beautiful children; even after the doctors told me it would be impossible to have one with my condition. I am passionate about progress. I enjoy eating pizza and peanut butter M&Ms. I love playing games and exercising. I understand the frustrations of living a full life while trying to bridge the gap between what is real and what is ideal. Not only do I tell people how to cross this impossible bridge I show them how it’s possible by getting up and out of my wheelchair and take a few steps forward. “I’m going to run again someday!”

I hope this message will spark the eternal tinder inside your minds and give you the resilience to accelerate your own results. I hope it will ignite the seeds of success you’ve already sown. Combined with your vision and help from another, your desires will cultivate into something other people only dream about!

The Blessing of Time

May 4, 2018 by  
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Time seems to move faster and faster as we age, but I must admit that sometimes the passage of time can be a real blessing. 32 years ago, this week, I was hit in the face and heart with the biggest, most shocking tragedy of my entire life. It took years to recover from the overwhelming pain, but those passing years became a huge healing and soothing help.

It was on May 2nd, 1986 that my 16-year-old daughter, Kristin, died. The photo here is of Kristin and her brother on the way back from her last trip to Hawaii. Losing a child must be the biggest tragedy one might have to endure in this life. But what I have discovered is that the passing of time really helps and allows a person to deal with the death of a loved one. It’s true that you really never get over it but time diminishes the pain so you can heal and eventually deal with the tragedy.

It’s so ironic that on March 30, 1986, just 33 days before my beautiful Kristin died, I wrote the following in my journal:

“Big, bright fun, changes and growth. What a difference a few years can make. Life seems so sweet now, so full. I’m so content. I don’t see how life could be any better. With my kids and friends and I guess even my age – I am almost 42 – it all makes life pleasant and full. Spent a fabulous month in Hawaii with all of my kids – super times!! Life doesn’t get any better than this. Life is all it ought to be. If this is how the decade of the 40’s is going to be, then I love it. No wonder they say life begins at 40, mine sure did. I’m beginning to look forward to the next 40 years – that’s 14,600 days. This journal now covers 22 years. Big changes in my thinking and perception of life’s meaning. I wonder what the next 22 years will bring as far as changes.”

My very next entry in my journal was quite different: “Not in my wildest imagination could I have ever dreamed that the biggest tragedy of my life would occur just 33 days after this entry.”

My heart continued to bleed for 4 and half years before I pulled myself out of the deep well of depression and self-pity. Those years helped a ton and helped me to finally realize that I needed to move on with my life. I needed to help and pay attention to my kids and loved ones and see how I could help others who have been faced with great tragedies. The bottom line is, time can be a great teacher of some of the biggest lessons of life! We just have to get up and pay attention.

Stomach Cancer and the Negative Brain

March 30, 2018 by  
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I’ve had a great and healthy life but just last week I got thrown big time when I thought I had stomach cancer. Did that ever hit my brain hard! I’ve always thought my brain was a huge asset and was a big help to me in my life and that’s why I’ve been so big on those “positive affirmations” that Paul J. Meyer taught me. One of my favorites that I repeat almost daily 20 times is, “I am very happy and very healthy.” Well, I must admit that the possibility of possible stomach cancer certainly challenged my “positive thinking”.

This all happens when I quite suddenly had a very bloated stomach. I called my doctor for an appointment as soon as I could. I had to wait a few days to get in and as I waited, the bloating got worse, keeping me awake virtually all night with huge stomach pains. So, I sought out answers on the internet, hoping that my stomach symptoms were from something else. What I found online only made things worse. I found I had 4 out of 6 of the symptoms for stomach cancer.

Did that ever bring on some very bad brain messages and thoughts. And the more I thought about it, the worse the pain became and the less sleep I got. Ugh! My positive self-talk had turn very negative.

I got to the doctor and told her my symptoms, asking her if she thought I might have stomach cancer. She answered by asking if I had changed any of my eating habits or began taking any new medications, supplements, or vitamins. At first I told her no, but then thinking about it for a few minutes, I recalled that I had started taking a couple new supplements. Her advice was to stop taking those and to come back in two weeks if the bloating hadn’t stopped.

So, I stopped taking those supplements and 2 days later it seemed that the bloating had gone down a bit. Even though I’m not yet completely sure that it’s isn’t cancer, I am totally in awe of how much that little bit of progress has changed my brain and my self-talk. In fact, it changed so much that yesterday, being so thrilled and hopeful and having such a positive brain again, I broke my all-time record for steps taken in a day. I walked just over 40,000 steps which is equivalent to playing 13 sets of tennis– something I have never even come close to doing.

So now I’m waiting and carefully watching my stomach and hoping to cancel that next doctor’s appointment. Isn’t it absolutely amazing how much our self-talk can make our lives better or worse. I’m not out of the woods yet but my brain is certainly pushing me in the right direction now. It just needed a little encouragement and some positive thoughts to keep me in a positive mood. That is something to keep in mind the next time negative thoughts are bringing you down. Find something positive to hold onto and pull yourself out of a cycle of negativity to have happier and more productive days.

Power Summit–A Seminar Not to be Missed!

March 16, 2018 by  
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Wright Thurston is long time trusted friend who credits me with getting him get started in Real Estate, Speaking, & Advertising. To quote Wright, “Mark Haroldsen, my first Real Estate mentor, and his book, changed my life forever! Mark has helped me personally earn over $40 Million since he first began coaching me!”

So I am very excited to see him in Salt Lake City next month with a great “Power Summit”. I have asked Wright if a few of my best blog readers could attend his upcoming event for Free! Wright said “Yes!” but indicated the event was nearly sold out.

**If you act immediately, the first fifteen of my blog readers to register below will receive everything at no cost. You must promise me however that you tell no one of this offer since others attending have paid a lot of money to attend. This is just for you. Sorry but there are not enough seats for you to bring a guest. Just ignore that on the registration page.**

Please do mention you were invited & referred by me. In the space that asks who invited you, write: Mark O Haroldsen

I look forward to seeing you there!

I am very happy to announce our 2nd International Power Summit. Last year’s training event was a huge success and my clients worldwide have request that we do it again in 2018. As promised, I will always make you aware of my VIP events, no matter where in the world they occur.

As a client, admission to the International Power Summit was one of many bonuses you received when becoming a student of mine. As an attendee, you will receive all eleven (11+) of the VIP bonuses, listed on the website, at “no additional cost!”  (including a massage, refreshments, autographed collectible materials, photos with my mentors, etc.) To learn more, just click on the link below:

www.PeakPerformanceWealthBuilders.com

**This year’s Power Summit will be totally unique! At least five of my “personal mentors” will be there for you to meet and mingle with. That’s right! The same experts who helped me become financially successful via:

1) Real Estate

2) Free & Discounted Travel

3) Collectibles

4) Legal & Asset Protection

5) Bitcoin & Other Crypto Currencies

6) And more…

I promise you will be thrilled with the amazing new, update strategies & information that will be taught at this conference. Each of my “mentors” will share their proven, step by step guidelines for success. Ask yourself: How many mentors do you currently have helping you?

Due to the limited seating at our Five (5) Diamond rated Hotel, please register immediately while the space & VIP packages are still available.

You can easily register or learn more about our Power Summit online at:

www.PeakPerformanceWealthBuilders.com

The International Power Summit will be held on:

Friday, April 6th and Saturday, April 7th

8:00 am to 6:00 pm each day

Grand America Hotel, 555 South Main Street, Salt Lake City, 84111

**By conducting this in my hometown, you will able to meet my wife, family, and see many valuable treasures that are part of our collections. I realize you are busy but do whatever it takes to be part of our International Power Summit. Please act before it’s too late. I don’t want you to miss out. Take advantage of this fantastic opportunity. I hope you will be able to join us.

Best wishes for your continued success:

Wright J. Thurston Sr.

P.S. You should contact us immediately, while the VIP seating and gifts are still available.

www.PeakPerformanceWealthBuilders.com

P.P.S. This is the first time that many of my personal mentors will be in attendance. It is going to be great. You do not want to miss this once in a lifetime conference.

 

Of Family, Friendship, and Love

December 23, 2017 by  
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I want to give you a HUGE Merry Christmas wish and thank you so very much for being you. I do sincerely appreciate the great opportunity you have given me to share my thoughts with you, my reader, and do honestly wish and hope that my ideas and advice helps your life and those around you. What would this world be if it wasn’t for great friends and family? At this time of year those people can, and should be, even more important to all of us.

What would your world and your life be like if you had a billion dollars but not a single friend or any family? I’m not saying money is not at all important but it’s almost completely worthless without people around you that you dearly love and that love you just as much.

So, at this very special time of year, let’s all go out of our way to give tons of love and appreciation to our family and loved ones and while we are at it, why not seek out more friends and push for deeper relationships with our current friends. Don’t you agree that it would be so worthwhile to do so? Okay … so, let’s all go out and do it!

P.S. In last week’s blog I said I’d write about how the right foods, vitamins, and exercise can boost your feel-good brain chemicals. And I will but I thought that could wait until after Christmas. So, we’ll see you next week.

Inspiring Words from the Past

October 28, 2017 by  
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I came across this from a blog I wrote 9 years ago and I really loved being reminded of these quotes from great people of the past. They always seem to inspire and motivate me to be a better person. I’ve also found that if I read each one out loud it makes a bigger impression on me. Try it for yourself!

  • The way to gain a good reputation, is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear. ~Socrates
  • The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can. ~Robert Cushing
  • The searching-out and thorough investigation of truth ought to be the primary study of man. ~Cicero
  • The only journey is the journey within. ~Rainer Maria Rilke
  • Know thyself means this, that you get acquainted with what you know, and what you can do. ~Menander
  • Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small,
    Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all.
    ~Juvenal
  • Collect as precious pearls the words of the wise and virtuous. ~Abdel-Kadar
  • If we do not plant knowledge when young, it will give us no shade when we are old. ~Lord Chesterfield
  • If you have an hour, will you not improve that hour, instead of idling it away? ~Lord Chesterfield
  • Follow your honest convictions, and stay strong. ~William Thackeray
  • He that will not reflect is a ruined man. ~Asian Proverb
  • Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow. ~Doug Firebaugh

Now lastly there is this quote from a guy who is not quite as famous as Socrates or Cicero but I think it’s pretty good and it’s help me in so many ways.

“Set big goals for your life but remember it’s critical to write them down and put a deadline date on each goal because the human mind (your brain) will not let you stop acting on and moving toward the goal that you set for yourself”.  Mark O Haroldsen

P.S. If my blogs are at all helpful to you and you would like to share these ideas with your friends, kids, grandkids, etc., send them this link to get these posts by email: http://ignitemylifenow.com/email-subscribe/

 

Your Own Affirmation List

October 21, 2017 by  
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In last week’s post, I challenged you to come up with some affirmations and positive self-talk. What did you come up with?

Never forget that the human brain can be programmed and you can teach it just about anything you want to–repeat those affirmations to yourself over and over again and your brain will believe it. It can and will improve your life and move you toward any goal you have set for yourself. It’s just like what science has discovered about forcing a smile on your face to make you feel better—the brain doesn’t realize it’s a fake smile and so releases the same feel good chemicals, serotonin and dopamine, as if it were a genuine smile.

If you are still working on coming up with more affirmations and positive self-talk, here are a few of mine that I try to repeat each one ten times every day, many times when I’m taking a shower, bath or sitting in my hot tub.

  1. I am feeling more upbeat and positive.
  2. I am happy and healthy.
  3. I live in the great right now moment.
  4. I set big goals but am satisfied with baby steps.
  5. I forgive myself for mistakes I make.
  6. I love my wife, I love my life.
  7. I feel calm and collected even in stressful situations.
  8. I am making a difference in the world for the better.
  9. I love people and I listen to others.
  10. I am strong and worthy.
  11. I eat a healthy diet.
  12. I love to exercise.
  13. I appreciate other people.

By the way, before I play a tennis game I do some self-talk as well. For example, I repeat over and over in my head, “I have a very power forehand. I have a very accurate backhand. I am fast and flexible. I have a very accurate and fast serve.” It always seems to help my game. I am convinced this self-talk was a key to helping me win 4 gold medals in singles tennis at the Huntsman World Senior games.

So, go ahead and give it a try in whatever aspect of your life you’d like to improve. I am convinced that if you take time to make up your own list of daily self-talk comments that you will be so glad and satisfied that you did and it will improve your life and those around you.

Do you find this information inspiring? You can get these every week in your email so you don’t miss one, by going to the top of my website page here: http://ignitemylifenow.com Search through the recent posts and archives sections on the blog page to find more super helpful thoughts and ideas.

 

SELF-CHECK LIST REDUX, PART 2

September 23, 2017 by  
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As I mentioned in my last post, I have a self-check list that has really helped me make improvements in my life and motivates me to keep it up. The list has 20 items on it and I gave you the first 10 last week. Did you go through those for yourself? Did you find that they brought up all kinds of ideas and aspects of yourself and your life you hadn’t thought about too much before?

Well, in this post, I am giving you the additional ten questions on my list. These really get into the big picture of who you are and what you want.

To get the most out of this list right now, I would suggest that you actually write down your answers to each of these questions. If there are any answers that you aren’t happy with–things you discover that you would like to change or know you need to address–highlight them. Then spend some time either journaling or talking to friends and family about what you need to do. Then, not too long from now, you should be able to answer these questions with positive statements that show you know who you are and where you are going with your life.

Ready?

  1. Have I set goals big enough to energize my mind, body and soul to the point that these objectives are my core or dominant thoughts?
    12. Do I want to be my own boss?
    13. Do people like me and can I inspire others with my dreams and goals so they will follow me and help me achieve my objectives?
    14. Am I a generalist who can delegate to others or a specialist who must do everything myself?
    15. Do I have a great degree of intuitive ability or am I very gullible and can easily be deceived?
    16. Am I able to take major disappointment and bounce right back?
    17. Do I have the right paradigm or view of the world that will drive the right attitude in myself? (I must always remember that if I don’t like my life I must change my attitude and thinking.)
    18. Do I use the huge and great power of “choice”? (Mankind’s most powerful attribute)
    19. Do I ‘borrow’ the brains of others through personal contacts, books, cd’s, podcasts, texting, emails etc.?
    20. Can I, and do I, adapt and adjust my goals to economic, political, technological, and relationship changes?

If you find writing down these answers helpful, try writing them out to last week’s 10 items too and see what other areas you might want to work on.

Are you finding this list as helpful as I have? Sign up to get these posts by email by going to the top of the blog’s post page. If you are not reading this on the blog page, then go to http://ignitemylifenow.com/blog/ to sign up and also have a look through the recent posts and archives sections you’ll find on the right-hand side. There’s even a search button on the top to help you find the subjects you’re most interested in reading. I hope you find more super helpful things in my past posts as well.

 

Self-Check List Redux, Part 1

September 16, 2017 by  
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I was going through a bunch of my old blogs and in re-read this one below. I was very motivated by my list of questions aimed to make improvements in my life. There are 20 on the list in total. I will post 10 this week and 10 more in next week’s post.  I hope they help you as much as they helped me back then as well as now with my latest review!

My Own Self-Check List, Part 1

I was getting myself better organized the other day and came across a list of 20 questions that I used in the past to help me focus on qualities I wanted to see in myself in order to have my own “Super Success”. I wrote the list back in December 2003 but reading it over, I found it just as relevant now as I did back then, so I wanted to share it with you all. I believe these, or your own personal variation, can help just about anyone.

Here are the first 10 and next week I will post the second group of 10. Read the list and ask yourself these questions:

  1. Am I being pro-active?
    2. Do I believe in myself (How’s my self-esteem doing?)
    3. Am I being “time conscious? (Life is very short so I want to live every day to the fullest. Even if I live to be 80 years old, that’s only a little over 700,000 hours!)
    4. Do I spend time, planning, calculating, and running the numbers on various projects that I want to see succeed?
    5. Do I make decisions that need to be made? Am I decisive enough and realize that it’s better to make more decisions and be wrong than to not be decisive?
    6. Am I staying organized and do I keep working on being better at it?
    (I test myself by observing my desk, my files, and even the backseat of my car.)
    7. Do I do what I say I am going to do, both to myself and to others?
    (My word needs to be my bond—my reputation will follow. My honor is my greatest power)
    8. Do I have high ambitions and enough energy to follow through?
    (I remind myself often of how I can create extra energy–like having great ideas and dreams along with focus for extra energy.)
    9. How do I stick with a project?
    10. How is my discipline factor? (I must remember that if I want to rule the world or any part of my own world I must rule myself first.)

If you find this list helpful–please feel free to pass it on to others that may benefit from it. And I would love it if you would drop me an email at moh@reincome.com and tell me how you liked this blog.

–MOH, May 11, 2012 

Are you finding this list as helpful as I have? Well, don’t miss out on next week’s either. Sign up to get it by email at the top of the blog’s post page. If you are not reading this on the blog page, then go to my blog page to sign up and also have a look through the recent posts and archives sections you’ll find on the right-hand side. There’s even a search button on the top to help you find the subjects you’re most interested in reading. I hope you find more super helpful things in my past posts as well.

 

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