GBAs and PBAs

Just the other day, I was going through a ton of old stuff of mine. Most of it was old paperwork including my past journals in which I wrote mainly about my thoughts and actions, from work stuff to family trips.

I began reading a journal I wrote between 2003 and 2004. That brought back both good and bad memories. I particularly liked reading of my thoughts when going to a foreign country which always lifts my brain and body. I took my kids and, later, my grandkids on these trips. They were so much fun and always pushed my enjoyment of life to a higher level. It did the same for the kids and grandkids. When I just stay home and do almost nothing, the lack of activity causes me to get depressed.

In my journal, I wrote about Martin Seligman, and was reminded of his advice. Martin Seligman is a psychologist and author who gives talks and writes about positive psychology and what it can do for our well-being. He believes we should follow our passions, the type that takes us away to that wonderful place of total engagement. For me, that is usually writing. Amazingly enough, however, I spend so little time doing it these days!

Seligman believes it is vitally important, especially as an antidote to depression, to engage oneself in activities and projects that challenge us and cause us to think. That effort gratifies us as opposed to activities that take little or no thinking and require very little effort. For me, it is obvious that writing is in the first category of gratification-based activities, or GBA. That second category is pleasure-based activities, or PBA.

Here are two lists — one of gratification-based activities (GBA) and the other of pleasure-based activities (PBA). Which one do you think lifts the mind and body to a higher level?

PBA:

• Watching T.V.
• Shopping
• Drinking at a bar
• Excessive sleeping
• Eating favorite foods
• Back rubs/massages

GBA

• Writing
• Reading good books
• Stimulating conversations
• Playing tennis
• Hiking in the mountains
• Social gatherings

There are lots more on my list, but I don’t want to bore you. I’m sure you can make a great list of your own.

I should note that pleasure-based activities are not necessarily bad. The thing to remember is that when indulging in pleasures, you should try to enhance them by being very mindful and aware of what you’re doing, taking time to savor those pleasurable moments. It also helps to spread out the PBAs as well as change them up to keep them fresh and novel. The brain really loves novelty.

Paying attention to how the things we do in our life lifts our brains and bodies, or doesn’t, can help us to make better choices in how we spend our time. Pleasurable things are nice in the moment, but doing something that leaves us feeling gratified can give us a boost for days, weeks, or even years. We humans can, in fact, choose to change and lift our minds and find greater levels of gratification in so much of what we do.

Your Routine Replacement List

All I can start with on this week’s blogs is just … Wow. Double Wow.

In my 75 years of life I have never ever seen anything like this COVID-19. It’s certainly changing the world right now and undoubtedly will continue to do so into the near future. But what is a normal person going to do without going absolutely stir crazy until it leads to big time depression?

When all of a sudden you are confined to your house without your normal routine, that can mean big trouble. Routine can really be a good thing, even a simple routine like going to work every day. You really don’t think or fret about that routine because you just do it and it feels fine. But you take that routine away that you have at your office or place of business or your active social life and, ouch, that can be a game changer.

I like what author James Wallman said about time, especially leisure time. He said, “Leisure doesn’t improve the quality of life unless one knows how to use it effectively.” The first time I got hit without a routine that about drove me crazy was when I retired and found myself at home without any routine and seemingly nothing to do. I did discover how to overcome that huge dilemma and, now, with this huge virus thing going on, I thought that I could share what we can all do to survive, and even thrive.

I think I will call it the anti-stir-crazy list. “List” is the key word. If we just take time to begin working on a list and making those items on the list our new routine it can, and will, enhance your life.

Here’s some of to do thing on my list as an example:

1. Set a specific timeline and schedule to exercise every day. I’m talking, lots of walking, hiking in the hills, lifting weights, stretching, push-ups and pull-ups, etc.
2. Take time to get super organized. There are so many things that have just been postponed that I can easily spend time doing what should have been done before
3. Seek out and find some good books to read, both fiction and self-help.
4. Begin and make an outline for a new book that could be written.
5. Call, text, and/or email old friends and new ones.
6. Make a list and an outline of what could be accomplished with my life in the next 5 or 10 years.
7. Be more attentive and playful with kids and grandkids.
8. Begin making a list of people or charities that I can help.
9. Begin to learn a foreign language–download Duolingo or Rosetta Stone that makes it easy and fast.

When making this list, keep in mind these questions: What do I enjoy doing the most? Is there anything I am not adding to the list because of negative self-talk? What gives me a great sense of purpose? And don’t neglect to write the list down. If you write your goals and to-do list down you are much more likely to follow through and do those things.

I hope these ideas are helpful and might push you to work on some things to better yourself and your life as well as add to the list of what motivates you and things you like to do.

By the way, when I wrote item no. 4, I thought through my book writing and was somewhat in awe that I’ve actually written 9 books! I would have never ever guessed, those many years ago when I was a construction worker, that I would ever write even one book!  So, my advice is to push yourself to make and live by your own list. You could even brainstorm with friends or family to come up with a bigger and better list!

 

Of Gratitude and Appreciation

A few days ago, after returning from California where I had a wonderful, belated 75th birthday celebration with all my kids and grandkids, I was walking out in front of the airport looking for an Uber driver when suddenly, a lady walked right in front of me, pulling a suitcase on wheels that tripped me and smashed me onto the concrete.

Next thing I knew, I woke up, flat on my back and was looking up at a policeman, a security guard, and about 8 or 10 other people staring down at me asking if I was alright. I finally answered and said that I thought I was okay. They asked if they should call the paramedics, but I said, “No, I think I’m okay.” However, I wasn’t.

Throughout the day, the pain in my left arm and rib cage kept getting worse. So, my wife, Kimberly, drove me to a medical clinic and the x-rays showed a broken rib and severely damaged left shoulder. And to add to my misery, a few days later I had terrible stomach problems with even more pain so that I could hardly get out of bed.

So, what’s the point of this story? Bad things like this can be, and many times are, good lessons that we need to learn from. What is learned, if anything, in cases like this?  It’s fascinating to me that it often takes bad stuff happening to us humans to pound into our brains that thing called gratitude as well as an appreciation for all the good times we have had with few problems — everything from our good health, to our family, friends, finances, and freedom that we have in this great country.

After this latest accident and minor health setback I came across a list that I wrote in my journal on June 27th, 2013. My list was entitled “What I Am Grateful For”. From time to time I read down that list, and it lifts my spirits and my appreciation of what I have, big time.

Here is my list. I hope you also have written or will decide to write your own “Gratitude and appreciation list”. I highly recommend it and be sure to review if from time to time. You will see that it can lift your mind, your spirts and your life to a higher level, especially when you need it most.

I AM SO VERY GRATEFUL FOR …

• A wonderful, loving wife.
• A wonderful life.
• Great kids and grandkids.
• My beautiful view from our house of the valley and mountains.
• Super vacations and world travel.
• Warm and helpful friends.
• Financial stability.
• Incredible health … most of the time.
• A fairly clear-thinking brain.
• Discovery of the power of “self affirmations”.
• My super great mentors that helped me so much.
• The deer and coyotes we’ve seen in our yard.
• The moose I saw while hiking in the mountains.
• My wonderful work staff.
• My thoughts for writing my blog and the positive feedback I receive.
• A very warm and comfortable bed.
• Our beautiful Kauai home and time spent there in the winter.
• A cuddling, warm wife.
• The great Wimbledon tennis matches I’ve attended.
• My ex-wife’s love of Kimberly and vice versa.

Again, I hope you go make your own list if you haven’t already. Having boundless gratitude and appreciation, even for the little things in life truly does enhance a person’s life. Do it. You won’t be sorry.

 

Raise Your AOG and Everyone Benefits

Last week I briefly mentioned the great importance of the “Attitude of Gratitude” or AOG. I’ve noticed how my own life gets better and better as I become more and more grateful to, and for, other human beings.

When I look back at my life I see so many people that helped me. Some were mentors while others were very helpful friends and relatives and I gained so much and am so very, very grateful to them and to so many books that lifted my life. And now as I get older I am even more grateful and want to give back or pay it forward to the max.

I’ve tried to give back for a number of years through my speeches and books, but I must admit, a lot of that was selfish and I did profit greatly, both from the great ‘feel good’ reward but also financially. Now I am more interested in just purely giving back and helping people improve all parts of their lives–from health to wealth to that great feeling of accomplishment, satisfaction and happiness.

I try to do that through this blog and am determined to do a better job and reach out and help more and more people and the only pay I want is the huge payment of finding out and knowing that I’ve touched and helped improved other people’s lives. With this blog, I am going to reach out to many others from my list of friends and relatives and I’d like to ask you to help me, if you kindly would, by forwarding this post to people that you think it would help.

I have two very good friends that have been immensely successful–one is a huge worldwide, bestselling author and the other is one of the best comedian’s in the USA. Both these great guys write blogs and I mentioned to each that I love what they write but many times I forget to log on to their blog sites. Both of them began emailing me their new blogs each week, which makes it so easy to keep up on their posts and I never forget to read them. You can do that with my blog as well just by clicking here or going to the links in the upper right of this post’s page.

So, to your friends and relatives who may receive this email, here’s what my blog’s mostly cover. How a person can make big bucks–as in millions and multi-millions of dollars–in today’s world, hints on living a more healthy and longer life, ways to get be more fulfilled, content and happy, keys and hints for more loving relationships of family and friends, how to get and stay motivated, methods to improved mental and physical energy, more info on the great power that writing goals down and, of course, me always pushing my readers to set great, big goals but being satisfied taking baby steps to reach those goals.

I sure hope you will help me out and forward this post on to others and maybe they will also want to help other people and pass it on! And I do sincerely hope you and others will share my great AOG. You just give this a try and see how it makes you feel as well as the other person. Tell 5 people in the next few days how much you appreciate them and that you have a huge amount of gratitude for all that they do and all that they are as a human being. It sure makes you, plus a lot of other people, feel so very good!