The Big Goal Boost

Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a huge believer in setting goals. Of course that’s the major them of my book How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. Goal setting grabbed my attention in a very big way even back when I was in high school.

As a pole vaulter then and in college my goals were in feet and inches. As soon as I reached a certain height, I would set a new goal a few inches higher–from 10 feet 6 inches to 10 feet 9 inches then 11 feet. After a ton or work, trying over and over again, I finally was consistently clearing 12 feet and eventually I peaked out at 14 feet 1 inch. Back then, in 1962, the world record was just over 16 feet, so I wasn’t doing too badly. But, no, I didn’t set the world record. Still setting those goals kept me completely engaged and excited about life. Such physical, self-competitive goals aren’t the only goals that can do that for you. Just about any goal will do that for you if it’s something you really want.

To get that jazzed feeling every day, be sure to constantly set goals for yourself. It will keep you passionate about your life and living and of course there is a Big Bonus in that you end up accomplishing so many things. So my message this week is push yourself to set more goals, and tough goals, in all parts of your life –physical, mental, family, charitable and, yes, don’t forget financial goals. I promise you as you do this you will enjoy each hour and each day more.

By the way, as you may already know, it helps to tell people that are close to you (as long as they are positive people) what goals you have set for yourself because when you know they are watching, you are more likely to stick with them and they also can act as a cheer leader for you. I myself have been sharing with you my goal of working out every day until I turned 70 and just knowing I told you about that makes even more dedicated. I just can’t let you down.

So you know. I am still on track with that goal which is 46 weeks from now. I was sick one day last week and hurt my back on another day but I still got a work out  in. Yes it hurt physically but, wow, I sure got a huge mental boost from sticking with my goal! That’s 83 out of 84 days that I have kept up my work outs. Pretty good! Now, what goal do you have?

A Daily Commitment to Better Health

In early March I was on my way back to Kauai to spend the rest of the winter when we had a long layover in Los Angeles. Unfortunately I had left Dr. Lustig’s book “Fat Chance” at my Salt Lake City office, so I wandered down to the airport bookstore for a copy and stumbled across Daniel Amen’s book “Use Your Brain to Change Your Age”. There is a lot of good stuff in his book including many before and after brain scans of people that turned around bad habits and behaviors both in eating and exercising. The huge difference in those brain scans really got my attention but what stuck with me the most was the story Amen tells about 52 year old Andrew McGill and what he did to end up with a “younger brain, a sharper mind, and a happier life.”

Andrew McGill is a doctor who had totally let himself go and was in poor health (which just goes to show that even being a medical professional does not insure great health.) His brain scan reflected his poor physical state, looking like the scan of a much older man. Daniel Amen says “it could be attributed to a number of causes: alcohol; drugs; environmental toxins, such as mold or organic solvents; infections; a lack of oxygen; or a significant medical problem like severe anemia or low thyroid.” On top of these other possible contributors to his poor health, Dr. McGill weighed 289.5 pounds, which I’m sure was also a major contributing factor.

To cut to the chase and the real heart of the story, McGill had one day “found himself lecturing a diabetic patient about the importance of nutrition, losing weight, and exercise. On the way home he thought to himself, ‘Andy, what a hypocrite you are! When are you going to stop playing around with your own health?’” It wasn’t until later, in November 2006, that McGill finally made a deep, committed vow to never to miss a day of exercising. That was five years ago. Surprisingly, he has kept that promise, not missing a single day. Ever.

Wow! Just … wow! That kind of commitment really made an impression on me. And he was paid well for his commitment. He lost 100 pounds and a new scan showed the brain of a much younger and healthier man. Now, as I mentioned last week, exercise is not the only thing you need to lose weight and be healthy. Dr. McGill also stopped drinking alcohol, which contributes a huge amount of sugar to our diets, among other healthy changes to achieve these results.

The thing is his story was enough for me to make that same commitment to exercise every single day. Truthfully, it’s not that big a deal. There are so many things you can do to get in your exercise each day, things that don’t even require equipment or a trip to the gym—a lunch time walk, a morning run, 10 minutes jogging up and down the stairwell at work, calisthenics on your living room floor while watching your favorite show, etc. The important thing is to do it and if you make a habit of exercising in some manner every single day you will become healthier, especially when combined with healthier eating.

Since reading that story I have only missed one day of exercise and only because my wife had surgery. I have decided that I am going to keep it up for at least one full year … that’s when I hit age 70! And I know I can and will do it. So why don’t you? Is there any reason not to? No. But there are so many, many reasons to take on this simple challenge, aren’t there?

Re-training Your Habits

On January 4th I posted a blog about the great book called “The Power of Habit” and how it can change people lives for the better. The author, Charles Duhigg makes so many excellent points showing how habits are formed and how to change habits that you don’t like in yourself and are not good for you. You see, we all respond to certain cues or triggers which set us off to follow certain routines which then give us rewards.  If we want to change a habit we should think through and plan out, in mind and on paper, what our “new routine” is going to be when we face “the cue” again and then follow that new routine which also needs to have a reward attached.

Duhigg uses this example: At 3pm every day he eats a chocolate cookie. This habit has an obvious reward—the cookie. To change this he plans a new routine so when he is hit by the cue or trigger—the hour of 3pm—he takes a walk around the office building instead. This starts to form a new habit.  To make the reward more rewarding, if he can find a friend or co-worker to do it with him. Having someone to talk to adds to the physical exercise reward with this chance to socialize.

If you do this activity and reward replacement over and over again until you hardly even think about it, then you have a new habit!  So, if you have habits you’d like to change, take some time to think of new routines that may interest you that you can attach to these unwanted habits so when you are hit with the cue or trigger you can start a new and healthier habit. Try it. You will love it because it really works. Even though it sounds simple, it’s obviously not going to be all that easy because you will be facing a strong instinct to fall into the prior habit but if you stick with it you will end up with a new habit and soon you won’t even give it a second thought.

Making Friends with Your Inner Voice

Someone once said if you want to change your life, you need to change your thinking. Yes, most people have heard that and agree but changing your thinking is not an easy task. There are, however, some subtle but very powerful forces inside your brain that can work for you or against you. Sadly too many people don’t recognize it or at least if they do they don’t know how to direct those forces for their own huge benefit. This powerful force has various names and it can be the best thing in your life but it also can be very sneaky in sabotaging you.

This force is often called your “inner voice”. It also has been called self-talk or even your inner chatterbox. Some would say it’s just your sub-conscious. Others would say it’s God talking to you. The good news–or should I say even great news–is that regardless of the source, many super successful people have learned how to use and direct that inner voice and it has enhanced their life almost beyond words. Using and directing your inner voice to improve your life doesn’t happen overnight and even after you become very good at self-talk directing, you need to stay ever aware of that chatterbox inside your head and continue to step in and keep the self-talk positive so you continue to move toward your life goals.

We talked about this a bit last year but I thought this was about the time of year we could all use a reminder of this. We set goals at the beginning of the year. We’ve taken the first steps, perhaps made some progress but it is about now that the hard parts are coming up or we’ve hit a few snags and are starting to get discouraged. Remember, that negative talk is just your inner voice trying to talk you down because it’s getting difficult. But hey, the most fulfilling accomplishments are those you come to after overcoming the hard stuff, right?

So turn any negative talk into positive, supportive self-talk. Think of that inner voice as your cheerleader, the voice that will keep you going, remind you of why you are doing what you are doing and will help you get through the more challenging tasks. It’s always easier to move forward when you have good, positive friends along. Why not make your inner voice one of those friends?

 

Writing Down Your Goals

Since we’ve just started a new year I must say something about renewing and re-dedicating ourselves to our life goals. And there is one super strong and time proven aid I would strongly suggest you use to increase your odds of hitting your goals. It’s something I talk about in my book “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living” but I have another source to show you just how powerful it can be.

For Christmas my son David gave me a book called “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg and WOW what a great book. Duhigg relies on scientific studies to dissect what it takes to form a new habit or dump a habit that you don’t like. In future blogs I want to talk more about “The Power of Habit” but for now I want to address one simple but profound Scottish study that is Duhigg addresses.

In this study a psychologist recruited 60 patients that just had hip or knee replacement surgery. Having personally experienced double hip replacement in the same surgery I know just how painful this kind of surgery can be. Most people don’t want to even move afterward, let alone start walking even though their rehabilitation requires it. This psychologist gave each patient a booklet after their surgeries that detailed their rehab schedule, and in the back were 13 additional pages –one for each week–with blank spaces and instructions:

“My goals for this week are ________________? Write down exactly what you are going to do. For example, if you are going to go for a walk this week, write down where and when you are going to walk.”

Patients were asked to fill in each of those pages with specific plans. After their rehabilitation period the psychologist compared the recovery results of those that filled out the pages and those that did not. Duhigg notes that “It seems absurd to think that giving people a few pieces of blank paper might make a difference in how quickly they recover from surgery.” But it did. Those patients that wrote down their goals recovered much faster than those who didn’t write down a thing.

The great lesson and a lesson that I’ve preached to myself and others for years is we greatly improve our chance of success many times over if we simply write our goals down!  Financial goals, physical goals, family and social goals … it works on all of them. I would also add that you shouldn’t forget to put down the date by which you want to accomplish those goals.

You can read more about goal setting and how written goals can help you in my book  “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living” which is on sale right now on my website.

Dodging a Bullet

All I have to say is a double WOW… I worried myself sick after the doctor told me there is a 90% chance that my right main heart artery is 100% blocked. We scheduled an angiogram and just before they wheeled me in the doctor tells me that if my left main artery is also blocked then they will have to do open heart surgery. Of course, that last comment scared me to death and I started thinking about dying. Hey, I’ve had a good nearly 69 years and a lot of people get much less than that.

So there I am in the operating room staring at the ceiling as the doctor gets to work. (They don’t put you under for an angiogram.) I think back on my life and that everyone has to die and maybe it’s my turn now.  Less than an hour later they wheel my bed back to the hospital room where my wife Kimberly is waiting. Then the WOW news!! And what was that news?

“We didn’t find any blockage. All the tests, cat scans and nuclear stress EKG’s that you had that showed a blockage were wrong. It was a false positive.”

Did that ever make my day … or life! But what a lot of stress I went through to get there. I guess that kind of proves the old adage that “What we worry about the most doesn’t usually happen.”

But there was a good lesson that I learned. It goes back to what the Buddhist have said for years … that everyone of us needs to mentally go through in our heads the process of dying (to die before we die) so when we do get to that point in our lives where we really are going to die, it makes that transition much easier to accept and to embrace.

So yes, I dodged a bullet. Even if I did have a stent put in or had open heart surgery the chances of survival would have been very high but still, dodging that bullet helped me prepare myself for the inevitable. It also gave me pause so that I took a good hard look at the relationships I have with family and friends and renewed my vow to do more with my life.

But you don’t have to go through an unnecessary scare like this to appreciate and reaffirm the strength and importance of your relationships and really see what you are doing with your life. Just ask yourself, if I died today, would I feel that I was the kind of person I wanted to be for the people I love and am doing what I really want with my live? Then listen carefully and well to the answers and make the changes you want to see while you still have the time here to do it.

Don’t Take Planning for Granted

I talk a lot about goal setting and planning for your dreams, especially the aspect of making a plan and sticking to it. But have you ever considered what it might be like to not even have the option to make plans?

In Serbia where we recently traveled, they are so thankful that the war that tore up that country from 1992 to 1995 is over. There is still plenty of evidence of those hard years but what a great country it is to visit now. It’s very safe and friendly as well as being an inexpensive country to enjoy and explore. But the really amazing thing is the people and their appreciation for things that, at one time, they weren’t sure they could have, would not even dream about because their future was so uncertain.

These days the people of Serbia are finally feeling settled and are able to make long term plans to create businesses, start or grow families, go to school, or build a home. There are still struggles but they have at least had the ability to dream restored to them.

We take that kind of long term planning for granted because it is not only possible but pretty easy for us to plan for whatever we might want. We certainly have fewer hurdles than most of those people in Serbia. If we only take the time to plan and then act on those plans, imagine what can be accomplished in a country that encourages and supports your dreams? We should, at least, be so very grateful for that extra benefit in our lives.

 

**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?

Regaining Our Patience

I’ve learned to be more patient than ever over the last couple months. With my wife recovering from surgery and not being able to talk, being patient is a must! But it’s not easy to do, especially in a world where everything is at our fingertips, where we can access information and people wirelessly and instantaneously. I think we’re getting a little out of practice. So here are a few things to help you regain your patience when it seems to be a bit thin:

Ask yourself what is so important that you can’t give someone a little extra time to say or do something? Are you truly in a hurry or just feeling anxious or worried?

Ask yourself if it’s the person, the circumstance or an outside issue that is making you impatient? Identifying the reason you a feeling impatient can help you understand and combat it.

Put yourself in shoes of the person you are being impatient with. Are they struggling with their words or ideas? Is this difficult for them to do or say? Maybe you can help in some way or at least empathize with their situation which should diminish your impatience.

Ask yourself, what really matters here? If you really have no time, then kindly excuse yourself noting your schedule crunch but otherwise, focusing on what is important–both of you understanding the point of the conversation, that a task is done right, or that the other person feels a sense of accomplishment when they do complete the task at hand–will help you calm down and redirect your thoughts.

Lastly, take pride in the moments you conquer impatience. These days it often no small feat and the things we are proud of we tend to do more readily in the future.

Using Our Capacity to Help Others to Help Ourselves

As you probably know by now, I have been in Boston helping my wife through some difficult medical procedures. Observing my wife’s first 3 days after her delicate 6 hour surgery, in so much discomfort, pain, suffering and nausea, woke up my empathy beyond words to the point that I desperately wanted to be able to share some of that pain if not take it all myself.

Then after the first 3 days knowing that Kimberly’s condition didn’t allow her to eat a single morsel of food it really hit me just how long we can go without food and not damage our health. I decided to give Kimberly some moral support by not eating for 3 days. Not that she uttered one word of complaint in that time but I knew it would help her–and me–to be in this together. To be honest, I did have one small salad each of the 3 days I did this because I had to take care of myself to some extent to continue to have strength to be there for her.

The thing is, being here and realizing what we really can do for each other, the suffering we can take on for others has got me thinking about how much we could take on for ourselves. We tend to avoid pain, discomfort and difficult situations even when we know it would be better for us to go through the hard times to get to a better place in our lives. So it got me thinking … if we will go through so much because of our love for another person, couldn’t we do this for the love of ourselves?

It’s something to think about the next time you hesitate to take on a difficult challenge. Do you love yourself enough to do this to make your life better?

**If you like what you’ve read in this blog please send it on to people you know and love, to people who you think this message and information may be very helpful. There is nothing in the world that brings greater satisfaction than helping other people. Don’t you agree?

My Own Self-Check List, Part 2

So … did you go through the questions I gave you last week, the ones that will help you focus on becoming super successful? Did you find that they brought up all kinds of ideas and aspects of yourself and your life you hadn’t thought about too much before?

Today, I have an additional ten questions for you. These really get into the big picture of who you are and what you want. Go ahead and actually write down your answers. If there are any answers that you aren’t happy with–things you discover that you would like to change or know you need to address–highlight them. Then spend some time either journaling or talking to friends and family about what you need to do so that not too long from now, you can answer these questions with positive statements that show you know who you are and where you are going with your life.

11. Have I set goals big enough to energize my mind, body and soul to the point that these objectives are my core or dominant thoughts?
12. Do I want to be my own boss?
13. Do people like me and can I inspire others with my dreams and goals so they will follow me and help me achieve my objectives?
14. Am I a generalist who can delegate to others or a specialist who must do everything myself?
15. Do I have a great degree of intuitive ability or am I very gullible and can easily be deceived?
16. Am I able to take major disappointment and bounce right back?
17. Do I have the right paradigm or view of the world that will drive the right attitude in myself? (I must always remember that if I don’t like my life I must change my attitude and thinking.)
18. Do I use the huge and great power of “choice”? (Mankind’s most powerful attribute)
19. Do I ‘borrow’ the brains of others through personal contacts, books, cd’s, podcasts, texting, emails etc.?
20. Can I, and do I, adapt and adjust my goals to economic, political, technological, and relationship changes?

What topics would you like to read more about? What are your favorite posts you’ve read so far? Help me make this blog as helpful as possible to you and the other readers by letting me know what you’d like to read more of at marko@reincome.com. —MOH.

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