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Blink Moments

June 22, 2018 by  
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To continue last week’s subject on what we can do in the blink of an eye, I’d like to tell you a story about what the great Getty Museum learned from the “blink” that unconsciously happens in our brains.

An art dealer approached the J. Paul Getty Museum in California years ago to sell a rare 7 foot, a statue that was claimed to be thousands of years old. They were asking for $10 million. It was certainly worth that much money, if indeed it was a genuine piece. Getty took the statue on loan and began a thorough investigation. After 14 months of study by experts, Getty was satisfied so they agreed to buy it.

But then, before they closed the deal, two people had their own “blink” moment, feeling something was very wrong. As Malcolm Gladwell writes in his book, Blink, an Italian art historian, who served on the Getty board of trustees, “found himself staring at the sculpture’s fingernails. In a way, he couldn’t immediately articulate why they seemed wrong to him.”

Next to look at it was Evelyn Harrison who was one of the world’s foremost experts on Greek sculpture. In the very first moment when the cloth was taken off the sculpture, what did Harrison see? Gladwell writes, “She didn’t know, but she had a hunch, an instinctive sense that something was amiss. Several others that saw the kouros felt an ‘intuitive repulsion’, and they were absolutely right. In the first two seconds of looking at the work –in a single glance or blink of the eye–they were able to understand more about the essence of the statue than the team at the Getty was to understand after fourteen months.” The statue was proved to be a fake and those people who paid attention to the blink of their “adaptive unconscious” were proved to be totally correct.

We all need to give more credibility and pay attention to those “blinks of our brains” because it can lead us to great success and do it much faster than we can understand. Gladwell writes, “I think we are innately suspicious of this kind of rapid cognition. We live in a world that assumes that the quality of a decision is directly related to the time and effort that went into making it … We really only trust conscious decision making. But there are moments, particularly in times of stress, when haste does not make waste, when our snap judgments and first impression can offer a much better means of making sense of the worth. The first task of Blink is to convince you of a simple fact: decisions made very quickly can be every bit as good as decisions made cautiously and deliberately.”

This is not to say that we shouldn’t do our due diligence or research on an investment or in other parts of our lives, but if your gut reaction is telling you something different, you should pay a lot of attention to that “blink” in your brain.

In the Blink of an Eye

June 15, 2018 by  
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I’m sure that we’ve all had moments in our life when suddenly our brains provide an answer to a question we’ve been struggling with. Maybe it was as simple as a name of a person that we couldn’t remember or a great creative or business investment idea that popped into our head when we were thinking about something totally different. It can happen in the blink of an eye.

How about when you meet someone new and in that blink of an eye you know and feel in that instant that this new person is not a good person.  I will never forget being told by a friend that a guy he’s known for years had a great investment opportunity that I needed to get into. Then, wow, when I met the guy I knew, within a blink of an eye, that he couldn’t be trusted. Sure enough, my friend and several others lost hundreds of thousands of dollars as this guy, that my brain told me couldn’t be trusted, took off with their money.  The only good part of all of that was that the guy was caught later in a foreign country and is now sitting in a California prison and will be for many years to come.

In a great little book titled Blink, Malcolm Gladwell makes a very convincing case that our subconscious brains are so very good at giving us instant, and often times, very accurate feedback to all kinds of life, business and personal situations. Gladwell says, “The part of the brain that leaps to conclusions like this is called the ‘adaptive unconscious’, and the study of this kind of decision making is one of the most important new fields in psychology.  The adaptive unconscious is not to be confused with the unconscious described by Sigmund Freud.”

Next week I want to talk more about the great power of listening to the instant feedback that our adaptive unconscious gives us. I’ll give you some of the details concerning a 10-million-dollar deal that long, hard expert research said was a good and genuine opportunity but that the adaptive unconscious of several people indicated it was a phony deal, and they were right. In the meantime, don’t forget to “trust your gut” because most of the time your gut gets it right in the “blink of an eye”.

Forgiving Ourselves

June 8, 2018 by  
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How do you and I feel when we set our sights and goals very high only to fall short of those objectives?  If you are like me, it’s very easy to get down on yourself and beat yourself up and that can set you back a few miles mentally, making you feel terrible or pretty much worthless.  This can happen to anyone, even the very rich and very famous, as we have sadly seen with a number of super-rich and famous people that have taken their own lives.

I grew up in a culture that pounded into my head the bible scripture of Matthew 5:48 which says “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” Quite frankly, I think that did me more harm than good, because as a young boy, I tried and tried but couldn’t seem to be “perfect” in anything at all. I would look around at other people and saw many that seemed to have a perfect life.  Little did I know then that pretty much no one on the planet has had a perfect life. If a person spends too much time and effort trying to become perfect, it can absolutely ruin them. Quite frankly, I think that scripture passage has been the cause of more than a few suicides.

We certainly don’t want to stop trying to reach our lofty goals and become better and better at whatever we choose to do, but we also must learn and practice forgiving ourselves.  It’s kind of strange to me that sometimes it seems easier to forgive someone else when they screw up but much harder to forgive ourselves. I totally agree with John M. Grohol Psy.D. when he wrote his “5 Ways of Letting Go of the Past”

  1. Make a decision to let it go.
  2. Express your pain and your responsibility.
  3. Stop being a victim and blaming others.
  4. Focus on the present, the here and now, and joy.
  5. Forgive them and forgive yourself.

Then there is some super wise advice from a great writer by the name of a Noah St. John. It’s from his book called The Book of AFFORMATIONS®, regarding a program he calls “Permission to Succeed”:

  1. Admit your past mistakes.
  2. Realize you did the best you could do at the time.
  3. Take actions to make sure you don’t repeat those mistakes.

Our brains also play a big a part in our success and failure, as Noah notes in another book of his, Get Rid of Your Head Trash: How to Avoid 3 Big Money Mistakes Even Smart People Make.  I love this title because it really says it all.

In Noah’s book The Secret Code of Success, he maintains that we all need to let up on ourselves and give ourselves breaks and take time to enjoy and celebrate the self. You need to let go of the past when it’s hurting you and accept the present. He states that the key to letting go of the past – and I’d say even if it’s the past of 5 minutes – is to forgive yourself and others that may have mistreated you. That’s great advice that works to make our lives so much better, more successful, and more productive. Perhaps we don’t have not perfect lives, but they can be pretty darn good ones with so much less stress!

 

Save Time to Make Millions

June 1, 2018 by  
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It is so easy to squander your time in a way that you hardly notice.  Most time is wasted in minutes, not hours. The average person squanders enough time in ten years to have earned a college degree. Some people may have lost enough time to have earned 2 or 3 degrees or could have made a few extra thousands of dollars, or even a million dollars.  So maybe next time you find yourself watching TV, turn it off and, using strategies that will save time and expand your opportunities, do some easy chair investing.

Just pick up the newspaper or go on line and take a look at some properties that are for sale. There is no need to drive all over town looking for those “For Sale” signs. That’s a huge waste of time. Instead, stake a claim to a little piece of time one day a week to search for just one good deal. You may be very surprised at how many properties are available. When you do see a property or two that look even somewhat promising, then start doing some delegating. And the fast, easy way to delegate now is too start writing offers and then call a few real estate agents to deliver your offers.  Most agents will be more than happy to do all this beginning legwork.

Of course, never forget those critical words that every offer to purchase needs to have – “This offer is subject to the buyer’s inspection and acceptance of the property,” or words to that effect. This, of course, means that you can walk away from the deal for any reason without any liability to you. You also won’t want to waste any time driving to the property and doing your inspection until the seller has agreed to your price and terms.

These strategies, along with delegating what you can to an agent, will save you a lot of time and will greatly expanded your opportunities. Years ago, when I was buying small properties, I would make dozens of offers each week using these strategies. It worked miracles for me and it can work for anyone. Then once I completed a purchase, I would begin the process of improving the property.

Here, again, I wanted to expand my time by delegating to others.  If you are like me, and do not relish the idea of fixing up a house or apartment building, you can easily find help by putting an ad online or in the newspaper, or ask around for a young, energetic person or a retired handyman.  There are always good workers out there looking to pick up a little extra income. By using their efforts and hard work, you have expanded your world, increased your available time, and greatly improved your odds of making millions through wise strategies and delegation!

The Time of Your Life

May 25, 2018 by  
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As a real estate investor, it’s pretty darn important to actively manage your time, just like you should manage any assets you have, to get the greatest and biggest return possible. Time is possibly the most important assets all of us have since it does have limits and is not, for us, endless. Plus, if you don’t watch and manage your time carefully it can be taken away from you without you even noticing.

To benefit the most from the time you do have, you can really stretch your time by organizing it.  If you want to squeeze every dollar, pleasure, fulfillment and sense of accomplishment out of the minutes you do have, you must organize your time to the best of your ability and or have others organize things for you.

We’ve all heard that people can’t be in two places at once or do two things at the same time, but that’s not correct.  You really can be in two places and or do two things at the same time. How is that possible?  It’s called “delegation” and, wow, does it ever work.

You can greatly multiply yourself and what you can accomplish by delegating to other people.  Here’s a few “do’s and don’ts” that have helped me buy, manage and sell millions of dollars’ worth of real estate.

  1. DO delegate specific tasks to others whose time costs the business less than your time.
  2. DO provide accurate instructions plus a target completion time or date when delegating.
  3. DO the hard tasks yourself that would cost more to delegate than for you to do.
  4. DO discipline yourself not to do tasks that you’ve already delegated or should delegate.
  5. DON’T let the task be given back to you uncompleted without an acceptable reason.
  6. DON’T let a delegated task be postponed. Periodically follow up each task you’ve delegated based on reminder notes you’ve made.
  7. DON’T over supervise. Look for acceptable progress and results.
  8. DO take time and the effort to carefully pick the best people for that tasks you need done.  Plus, carefully think through the best rewards that will push and motivate the person to deliver the results you want.

Keep these points in mind and you are sure to find that you will have more time for the things you want to do as well as increasing your ability to complete more in your investments, business, and life in general.

Failures at First Are Triumphs at Last

May 18, 2018 by  
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I believe everyone has the power and potential to accomplish the impossible if they are willing and wanting to take the proper steps forward. One of those steps, which Mark mentions all the time in his books, is to have a clear and concise plan with written goals.

Once you plan your work; then work your plan.

Those were closing words from Jeff Griffin on last week’s post. This amazing man has accomplished so much since a 40 foot fall parlayed him from the waist down and put him in a wheelchair. That accident certainly didn’t paralyze his brain or his motivation to help himself and to help other people. Read below some more of his story and some of his words of wisdom.

My teaching style, humor, and personality have made me one of the most liked and sought-after teachers during my 16-year career. I would consistently teach my students to give themselves permission to fail so they can succeed. I’ve left a consistent and comfortable paycheck and career to pursue my new dream of public speaking. I may fail but I also know I may succeed.

Because failures at first are triumphs at last, as long as we just don’t quit!

I earned my master’s degree in education and curriculum and created a worldwide peer-to-peer leadership program for third-world countries that was recognized at the United Nations in New York City. I’ve started two successful businesses, one before my teaching career and this one! I’ve created a nonprofit organization called the “Road to Recovery”, which impacts thousands of injured vets and physically disabled persons in my community and around the world. I enjoy mentoring people, distributing wheelchairs to those in need, and giving hope through my humanitarian efforts.

Every great man and woman of history is a person of service.

My greatest accomplishment so far is being married to my best friend for over 20 years. Together, Emily and I have four beautiful children; even after the doctors told me it would be impossible to have one with my condition. I am passionate about progress. I enjoy eating pizza and peanut butter M&Ms. I love playing games and exercising. I understand the frustrations of living a full life while trying to bridge the gap between what is real and what is ideal. Not only do I tell people how to cross this impossible bridge I show them how it’s possible by getting up and out of my wheelchair and take a few steps forward. “I’m going to run again someday!”

I hope this message will spark the eternal tinder inside your minds and give you the resilience to accelerate your own results. I hope it will ignite the seeds of success you’ve already sown. Combined with your vision and help from another, your desires will cultivate into something other people only dream about!

The Possible

May 11, 2018 by  
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A few weeks ago, I was at a book signing party by the great basketball legend and good friend, Mark Eaton (who holds the NBA record for the most blocked shots), when I met an incredible man, Jeff Griffin. He was in a wheelchair, the result of a terrible fall he had while painting a barn many years back. But, wow, what a guy. We have since become very good friends. I told him I wanted to feature him in my next blog post and so, in turn, he wrote this:

I met Mark O. at a Mark Eaton event some time ago. His energy and excitement about life, as you all know, is contagious and palpable. Our first encounter was of mutual respect. We sized each other up and quickly knew that we were both cut from the same mold; his being a little more expensive than mine! I consider Mark to be a giant among men and am fortunate enough to call him my friend.

Mark has graciously asked me to share a few words about my journey. I hope you read this post through the lens of how you might be, or were, able to amplify the power and potential within your own life because this story is more about YOU and your life-altering experience than it is about mine!

My dream and my desire are to be a Sherpa of sorts, to move and motivate 1 million people to slay their own demons of doubt and fear, the ones that paralyze them from solving the possible!

My mother named me Jeffrey, but my friends call me Griff. I’m currently in a wheelchair, but not forever! I’ve always dreamed of playing sports on the ‘big stage’! As a kid I envisioned playing college football as a receiver. I played two downs and tasted the sweetness of success and was one-step closer to fulfilling my dream when a construction accident left me broken and paralyzed from the waist down. I was given a life-sentence and was confined to a wheelchair. I was told I would never move my legs, let alone ever walk again. I was devastated but not defeated! Although my back was broken, I could not allow this to shatter my childhood dream.

I’ve learned for myself that pain hurts in any form. Whether it is personal or business; pain still hurts. While the difficult takes time, the impossible takes a little longer. The key is to overcome the pain, which paralyzes us, and slay the demons of doubt and fear one step at a time. It will be difficult but with courage and faith, the impossible will become POSSIBLE!

During those dark days I had a decision to make: I could stay down and quit or get back up and succeed. I chose the latter. “I’m going to walk again someday!” I declared out loud. Until then I’m going to live life to the fullest. As an ordinary man living life from a wheelchair, I’ve accomplished some extraordinary things. I played in the 2004 Paralympic Games in Athens, Greece, and am a silver medalist for the USA men’s wheelchair basketball team. I’m also a national champion and a four-time All-Star MVP who played for the Utah Wheelin’ Jazz.

“Jeff is one of my best friends and heroes. Not because of what he went through but because of what went through him that created such resolve and determination.” – Mike Schlappi, Four-time Paralympian gold medalist and motivational speaker.

I play a little tennis and, for a short period, was the number one men’s wheelchair tennis player in the state of Utah. Five years after my accident I won the St. George Marathon – on my first attempt. You will find my name in the Guinness Book of World Records with two world records. I’ve written an award-winning book, I’Mpossible: Desire. Dream. Do., which I consider one of my greatest accomplishments since I got a D- in English and was told that I would never be able to write a coherent sentence. As a part of me giving back, I’d like to offer you a coupon code ‘love’ to get $20 off my book. https://goo.gl/5qyxfD Just cover the S&H!

I believe everyone has the power and potential to accomplish the impossible if they are willing and want to take the proper steps forward. One of those steps, which Mark mentions all the time in his books, is to have a clear and concise plan with written goals. Once you plan your work; then work your plan.

What a fascinating guy Jeff Griffin is and what great words of wisdom he has to offer. There will be more coming from Jeff in my next week’s blog.

The Blessing of Time

May 4, 2018 by  
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Time seems to move faster and faster as we age, but I must admit that sometimes the passage of time can be a real blessing. 32 years ago, this week, I was hit in the face and heart with the biggest, most shocking tragedy of my entire life. It took years to recover from the overwhelming pain, but those passing years became a huge healing and soothing help.

It was on May 2nd, 1986 that my 16-year-old daughter, Kristin, died. The photo here is of Kristin and her brother on the way back from her last trip to Hawaii. Losing a child must be the biggest tragedy one might have to endure in this life. But what I have discovered is that the passing of time really helps and allows a person to deal with the death of a loved one. It’s true that you really never get over it but time diminishes the pain so you can heal and eventually deal with the tragedy.

It’s so ironic that on March 30, 1986, just 33 days before my beautiful Kristin died, I wrote the following in my journal:

“Big, bright fun, changes and growth. What a difference a few years can make. Life seems so sweet now, so full. I’m so content. I don’t see how life could be any better. With my kids and friends and I guess even my age – I am almost 42 – it all makes life pleasant and full. Spent a fabulous month in Hawaii with all of my kids – super times!! Life doesn’t get any better than this. Life is all it ought to be. If this is how the decade of the 40’s is going to be, then I love it. No wonder they say life begins at 40, mine sure did. I’m beginning to look forward to the next 40 years – that’s 14,600 days. This journal now covers 22 years. Big changes in my thinking and perception of life’s meaning. I wonder what the next 22 years will bring as far as changes.”

My very next entry in my journal was quite different: “Not in my wildest imagination could I have ever dreamed that the biggest tragedy of my life would occur just 33 days after this entry.”

My heart continued to bleed for 4 and half years before I pulled myself out of the deep well of depression and self-pity. Those years helped a ton and helped me to finally realize that I needed to move on with my life. I needed to help and pay attention to my kids and loved ones and see how I could help others who have been faced with great tragedies. The bottom line is, time can be a great teacher of some of the biggest lessons of life! We just have to get up and pay attention.

The Great Life List

April 27, 2018 by  
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Wow, what a week I had. I had the hell scared out of me when the doctor told me I had liver cancer! Not a fun beginning of the week, to say the least. But, after a super intense week of blood tests, several scans, and having a camera look around at my insides, the doctors concluded that, in fact, I didn’t have a diseased liver! Yay team! But yeah, wow, what a huge mental change and difference that made in my brain.

Yes, I know, I am 74 years old now and I won’t live forever, but this big-time scare has motivated me to use what time I do have to its best use. Not just for me, but for my family, friends, and even strangers. I think I’ve been giving back but I know there is so much more that can be done.

All of us humans get the same 168 hours a week, but the key to success in helping yourself and others is in how we choose to spend those hours. I know I’ve said this before but it’s worth repeating: To make sure you get more done each day, set goals and be sure to write them down. I hope you are doing this. It is not enough just to set goals. If you are like me – and I think most people are – when you write an objective, task, or goal down, your brain pushes you harder to make sure you complete that task!

My recent big-time scare has motivated me to make a list of what I learned from it. What is really important in this very short life is to raise our spirits, happiness levels, and contentment with life and living.

Here’s what I came up with.

  1. Mental and physical pain can be a great life teacher.
  2. Place the highest value on LOVE.
  3. “There is more to life than increasing it’s speed.” – Mahatma Gandhi
  4. The biggest most challenging things can be the more rewarding.
  5. Slow yourself down and bask more in the pleasure of living.
  6. Pause and take time to appreciate the right now moment.
  7. Meditate, even for just 10 minutes a day.
  8. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt
  9. Go ahead and fake confidence even when you are not confident.
  10. Lift your happiness and relaxation levels by getting organized.
  11. Get outside daily and study and observe the sky, the clouds, and your surroundings.
  12. Exercise daily even by just walking or strolling; maybe hike or jog in new places.
  13. Surround yourself with diverse people and spend more time with family and friends.
  14. Take time to document a special trip or occasion with photos and even write a short story about it.

I do hope that this list will help you as much as it has helped me. I find that by thinking about these kinds

of things and then writing it all down cements it more deeply in my mind. I am going to push myself to

revisit the list from time to time. I hope you will revisit this, or your own similar list, on a regular basis as well.

 

 

 

The Hardest Challenges

April 20, 2018 by  
Filed under blog, Chapter 9

 

Life sure has its challenges. This past week there has been a lot of doctors’ visits and tests as we try to figure out what is going on with me. It would be easy to let this get me down, and I can’t say that it hasn’t gotten to me at moments, but it is important to stay positive and focus on meeting – and beating – this challenge.

So, while I’m focused on finding answers to my health questions, I thought I’d share with you another story of how I was able to overcome a challenge with the power of positive and what that means for you and for me. This post was written in October 2010:

The Biggest Rush Comes from the Hardest Challenges

Alright, first, I need to warn you that I am on a super unbelievable mental high right now and have been all week. It’s all because I won the Gold at the Huntsman Tennis Tournament. Well, that’s not quite right. It’s because I played the hardest match I’d played in years against a really tough player and even though I’d trained so very hard this year, I got to a point in the last game when I just wasn’t sure I could go on, but I pushed myself just a little harder and finally eked out that last point I needed and won the gold! Yes, I won the gold last year too but the competition was nothing like it was this year. It was because I had to work so hard and it was such a difficult game this year, that the win was many, many times more exhilarating and satisfying.

This whole experience reminds me of what I was trying to get across in Chapter 9 of my book “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living” where I talk about the guy who goes out and shoots a perfect golf score the very first time he played. And then he does it again and again and realizes that there is very little, if any, satisfaction from doing so well at something he didn’t have to work at. Well that story is very much the opposite of what I did and how I felt.

This year I trained so much more than I had last year, taking lessons from a couple of great pros, Clark Barton and Jason Newell, as well as putting in more time on the ball machine and playing more matches. And yet my opponent, Michael Murphy, still hit back every ball and he could run as well as I could. I even began thinking that I couldn’t beat this guy but I pushed those negative thoughts out of my mind and tried to take the match one point at a time even as my body was screaming out for some rest and relief. And it worked. Positive thinking, taking it one small step at a time, and all that hard, even painful work, paid off leaving me with an immense feeling of true accomplishment.

Of course, while I was in the game, it was hard to feel that what I was going through was worth it, but I’ve done this enough to know that it usually is. And it so was. I know, too, that I wouldn’t still be riding this high if it hadn’t been so tough to win and if I hadn’t worked so hard at it. That’s the lesson here–The hardest work reaps the most satisfying rewards.

Just remember that next time you feel like giving up, bowing out, or taking the easy road. Just keep going, doing the best you possibly can. You’ll accomplish what you’re after and not only will it feel more than worth it when you do, it will make give you the energy and optimism to reach for that next great thing and get it.

 

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