Enjoy the Journey

Recently I had a young man come to me in a near state of depression. I was surprised at how down he was as he usually very upbeat and positive. When I asked what was going on he said he was frustrated and felt like a failure. He had huge goals which he’d been continually working on but he felt he wasn’t progressing fast enough. He wanted his future to happen now.

I have found this to be a very common state of mind these days. Our advanced technologies have led us to habitually expect that we can access our wishes immediately. Super fast internet, instant downloads, DVRs, and multi-functional cell phones give us the ability to have some level of access to whatever or whomever we want whenever we want. But life, in general, doesn’t work that way. As a result, we are experiencing more and more frustration and impatience which ultimately leads to depression or anger.

Reaching a goal is a series of small, necessary steps but even when you are making steady progress, it may feel like it is taking forever to attain it because of all you must go through to get there. The key to a truly successful goal, however, is not only reaching it but also enjoying and celebrating life while you work towards it. In other words, you need to learn to appreciate the journey, not just the destination.

Over the next few weeks, I will talk more about what is often referred to as “living in the now”. Much of what I want to talk about is based on principles outlined in my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living. It’s hard to be passionate when you are frustrated and impatient but it’s not hard to be passionate about anything if you are passionate about living and enjoying the moment. That is really the ultimate goal.

Become One of the Influential People

I know I have been talking a lot recently about keeping the influential people in your life close to you. But what I may not have gotten across is just how important you are—or can be–to the people around you. You have run into people throughout your life that had amazing talent and wonderful gifts and were willing to share them with you and help you live a richer, fuller life. Well, you too have gifts that you can share with others that can help and inspire them. You probably influence more people than you know already and you can influence and enrich even more lives by just being aware of what you have to offer.

Take a moment or two this week to think about your gifts and talents. Ask your family and friends how you influence them. There may something you’ve said that you had no idea inspired your daughter to take a chance that landed her the great job she has now. Your best friend may have watched you reach your fitness goal and is now getting on the treadmill at home every day because of what you accomplished. Perhaps witnessing your kindness and generosity with the new guy at work, encouraged others to do the same with the next new hire. It’s hard to say how you can enrich others’ lives until you find out what you have done and start paying attention to what you are doing today. Then, once you know, you can look for more opportunities to do the same great things again and again.

The pay-off of being a great influence is not only knowing that you had a positive impact on someone else’s life but it is also an energizing and motivating way to live. Seeing the encouraging effect your actions and words have on others will boost you through the hard times as you struggle to reach your goals or deal with your own personal dilemmas. Working on being a positive influence is a win-win situation, good karma, and the ultimate way to pay forward all the great, motivating influence you receive from the great people in your life.

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You Never Have to ‘Lose’

Last month I had the chance to play a very special doubles tennis match with Governor Gary Herbert of Utah. I had my partner, Judge Andrew Valdez, and the governor had Jeff Robbins of the Utah Sports Commission (who also played the pro tour for a while!). It was very close but, in the end, the governor and Robbins beat us. Still, there were no losers that day. First of all, the match itself had been a dream of mine. Not only that but the wager was that if the governor won, I would donate $5000 to the Granite Education Foundation, an organization that supports Utah schools and Utah kids. So when the last volley ended, I was as elated as anyone because the kids were the big winners and I could celebrate for them.

I wish that we could all look at the events in our lives and think about the wins not the losses. In the tennis match, the governor won the game, the kids supported by the foundation won additional funding, I achieved a dream, and players and spectators alike were uplifted by the exciting event and the philanthropic theme of the day. We didn’t win the game but there was no way I could look at the day and say we lost.

This positive outlook is something I call a “God’s Eye View.” It’s a way of seeing things from the perspective of humanity as a whole. It means believing that someone, somewhere, is getting joy and/or some kind of enhancement in his or her life even when you are not, and you can be happy and rejoice in the moment for them. Living this way, never being concerned about what you didn’t win, what you did not personally get, makes you a happier person. And that in itself is quite a win.

I talk about this “God’s Eye View,” at length in Chapter Twelve of my book, “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living.” It is intertwined with thoughts on the many benefits of giving which is also part of the “God’s Eye View” and something I try to do on a regular basis. In fact, the flip side of that tennis wager was that if I won, the foundation would get only $4900. Because if I had won the game and the kids lost the donation, my dream to play with the governor would have been a rather empty achievement. The best goals are ones that not only fulfill your dreams, but allow you to give back in some way as well. What they want. And there is no reason why you can’t be one of them.

Get your FREE copy (you pay shipping and handling only) of the book,  “How to Ignite your Passion for Living.”

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Giving Serendipity a Hand

You just don’t know where life will take you and what will happen along the way. As I mentioned last week, a short trip to California reunited my wife and I with friends we had not expected to see. Prior to that I wrote about a funeral I attended that reunited me with many influential people and reminded me of the importance of keeping in contact with them and now I’m in the midst of planning a fantastic reunion. If I had decided that I was too busy promoting my book, Ignite Your Passion for Living, and putting my new house in order to take time out for those events, I would not have had those inspiring experiences. Such fortunate situations often come about when we least expect it but such things aren’t going to happen if you just stay home and put everything on hold when things get difficult.

However, I’ve noticed that the effects of the recession have really driven people into a defensive mode and instead of just being cautious, they aren’t doing anything. We commonly hear about individuals and businesses “hunkering down” and “riding out the storm”—both statements of inaction. But the thing is, if you’re not out and about, talking to new people, looking for new prospects, and taking active steps towards making your dreams become a reality, serendipity isn’t going to have the opportunity to help you reach those dreams and enrich your life with new experiences.

So don’t just sit at home waiting for things to get better out there. If you have a dream, get working on it. If you haven’t gotten away for a while, plan a trip. If you haven’t met any new people recently, go to an event or an association meeting that interests you and start talking to people. If you’re just feeling down in general, go out and try something new or go somewhere you’ve never been (remember … new experiences increase those feel good serotonin and dopamine chemicals). You don’t even have to spend a lot of money or go very far. You just need to take action. You never know what will happen in life but you can be sure very little will happen if you don’t go out and experience it.

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Open Yourself Up to Unexpected Opportunities

Reaching your goals will always require a lot of hard work and focus, but random opportunity also plays a part in getting you where you want to be. However, you need get out and keep your life filled with friends, family, and activities that you enjoy in order to be open to these strange, coincidental opportunities.

The last month or so my focus has been on reconnecting with old friends and colleagues. So this past week when we headed to Indian Springs, California for the big pro tennis tournament there, I planned a dinner with Hal Morris, a very talented speaker who had previously worked for my company, and his family. The funny thing was, we ended up spending time with a number of other wonderful people we hadn’t expected to see.

At the tournament itself, we ran into a couple friends from Utah, Dr. Lynn Rassmussen and wife, who we don’t get to see frequently, and had a chance to do some catching up. Then my wife Kimberly got a call from her best friend, Susie, who now lives in Oregon. Susie, her husband, and his sister were driving down to California and mentioned that it was too bad they wouldn’t be able to take a detour to Utah. What a wonderful surprise it was to find out we’d all be in California at the same time. We were able to get together for an evening and had the most wonderful time.

As we left California, I was thinking about how we were able to spend time with so many wonderful people, and more than half of it hadn’t even been planned. I had started focusing on gathering friends around us and here it was happening more and more on its own. I can’t pretend I understand how it works but I do know that if you focus on what you want and open yourself up to opportunities, unexpected things will happen to support and advance your goals not to mention enriching your life with many pleasurable experiences.

Being a Responsible Influence

Recently I ran into an old tennis friend and eye doctor, Dr. Steve T. Jackson. After we caught up a bit, Steve stopped to thank me for giving him a copy of my book, “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”. He mentioned that he had loaned it out and was having a hard time getting it back. It was a book that really influenced him and he knew it was helping those he shared it with.

The encounter with Dr. Jackson was not that unusual. One of the most rewarding things about having written the book has been having people stop to tell me how helpful it has been for them. But this chance meeting with the doctor was a little more than confirmation that the book was truly helping others. It also affirmed for me the idea and goal I’ve been talking about in the last couple of posts.

Steve said it was the chapter on goal setting that really got him thinking about getting back in touch with the people that influenced him. Like me, he set a goal to organize a gathering of all the great people he’d meet over the years. Dr. Jackson, life myself, had realized just how important the influence of others are in our life and what we do with it.

He thanked me profusely for reminding him of this point, one that I hadn’t even realized was there. But that, in the end, is the point. We influence people in ways we don’t even expect and the people that influence us don’t always realize the impact they’ve had. That goes for the negative influences as well as the positives. So whatever you do, aim to promote the admirable qualities and the motivation to succeed in others.

I hope all who read and are motivated by “How to Ignite Your Passion for Living”, pay it forward by motivating and energizing the people around them. What a fantastic world this would be if we all did that. And what huge gathers Steve and I would have to put together!

Surround Yourself with the Right Kind of People

Just a few weeks ago I attended the “life celebration” of my dear friend Joe Land. At this gathering I was reunited with many wonderful and influential people including some of the people that went on speaking tours with Joe and I. Guys like Hal Morris, John Childers and Steve Thomas—hard working men of integrity and wisdom. I had not been very good at keeping in contact with these amazing people over the past few years but I was so grateful to have the chance to spend time with them again. It made me realize how much richer my life was because of them and could continue to be if I just kept in touch with these good, honest, and inspiring people.

That day, I decided to recommit myself to keeping connected with these people, the kind of people that motivate me with their ideas and their own ‘Passion for Living’. No matter where you are in life, you need to have the type of people around you that support what you want and what you do with their words, actions, and energy. But too often, our busy lives distract us and we drift away and lose contact with these precious friendships and business partnerships. We need to realize just how valuable these relationships are in our lives and hold onto them now before we lose them, maybe forever.

Who are the people in your life that inspire and energize you? Who are the people that drain you and hold you back? You only have so much time in a day, a week, a year … in your lifetime. So choose to spend it with the right kind of people and cultivate relationships with those you admire and know you can learn from. Let go of the people that bring you down or hinder your efforts. Commit to living your life with passion and surround yourself with those who can help you do it.

Never work another day in your life

Would you still do the job you do (or did most recently if you’re not presently working) if you didn’t need the money? If you answered that with a resounding no, then its time to look into something else, something that will get you bounding out of bed in the morning, excited about what you’ll be doing that day. As Confucius said, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life”. If what you do doesn’t feel like work, then you are where you need to be. If you dread your job, it’s time for a change.

Most people spend half or more of their waking hours dealing with their job—they are either at work, getting to work, getting ready for work, dealing with issues from work, talking to others about work or thinking about it. If you don’t love what you do, you are spending most of your life unhappy and regretful. That is not living.

Making a job or career change may not seem like the thing to do now with the economy the way it is but you could wait an entire lifetime waiting for the ideal moment to change careers or go into business for yourself and never see it. Don’t waste another minute doing something you don’t love. Take those first very easy steps and start planning for a life you will be truly happy living.

If it’s a matter of not knowing where to go from here, stop looking at jobs and careers in terms of money or perks or titles. Start looking at what energizes you, what inspires you, and what work you do that makes you feel like your efforts matter. Write these things down and make them the priorities that determine the direction your career and life will take.

Once you have your new career goal in mind, work at it every day. Look to my book, How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, for all the steps and help you’ll need to get you to the point where it’s not longer work–it’s just what you love to do.

There is No Time to Waste

Last week I received some very sad news. A good friend and an amazing individual, Joe Land, passed away. He was only 65 which seemed far too young for a man who had done so much, given so much, and certainly had much more to offer.

The news of his passing made me cry, however, when I stopped to consider all he had done in his life, I could only smile. I am certain he was in the middle of some great project, chasing whatever idea had most recently grabbed him. He never stopped going after the things he wanted.

Joe, a grammar school drop-out, was a self-made millionaire who helped people all over the country find fulfillment and happiness through his subliminal learning techniques, tapes, and books. He was also one of the greatest public speakers I have ever heard. He really knew how to live life to the fullest and loved what he was doing. He was an inspiration to me and, as evidenced by the fact that he always got a standing ovation whenever he spoke, to many others as well.

But suddenly he is gone and yet I am certain he left with no regrets. I am glad Joe was able to live such a full and amazing life. But many other people take too long to try and grab their dreams and make a life they are truly happy with. And that is what I’d like you to take away from this little story—that there is no time to waste.

If you aren’t working towards what you really want, get started, right now, this very minute. If you are taking steps to build your ideal life, are you putting your all into it? Take time to re-dedicate yourselves to living every day to the fullest and set your minds to go after what you really, really want in life. There is no time to waste and no good reason to wait. Go out and live. And live well.

He was only 64 which seemed far too young for a man who had done so much, given so much, and certainly had much more to offer. However, when I stopped to consider all he had done in his life, I could only smile. I am certain he was in the middle of some great project, chasing whatever idea had most recently grabbed him. He never stopped going after the things he wanted.

Joe, a grammar school drop-out, was a self-made millionaire who helped people all over the country find fulfillment and happiness through his subliminal learning techniques, tapes, and books. He was also one of the greatest public speakers I have ever heard. He really knew how to live life to the fullest and loved what he was doing. He was an inspiration to me and, as evidenced by the fact that he always got a standing ovation whenever he spoke, to many others as well.

But suddenly he is gone and yet I am certain he left with no regrets. I am glad Joe was able to live such a full and amazing life. But many other people take too long to try and grab their dreams and make a life they are truly happy with. And that is what I’d like you to take away from this little story—that there is no time to waste.

If you aren’t working towards what you really want, get started, right now, this very minute. If you are taking steps to build your ideal life, are you putting your all into it?  Take time to re-dedicate yourselves to living every day to the fullest and set your minds to go after what you really, really want in life. There is no time to waste and no good reason to wait. Go out and live. And live well.

The Wisdom of a Child

Remember when you were a child and someone would ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up? What did you say? It might have been something like a baseball player, doctor, teacher, writer, or artist. And did you grow up and become the person you wanted to be then or are you still just dreaming about it?

Children don’t tell us they want to grow up to be something great and important on a whim. They really believe they can be anything they want. They do not have the fears and limiting beliefs that we gather as we grow up. They think that all they have to do is want it and work towards it and they will reach their dream. And you know what? They’re right.

If there is something you have wanted to do or become but haven’t tried to attain it yet, its time for you to regain your childhood outlook on life. Become fearless. Know that anything is possible. You can still be a great athlete—look at me, a gold medal tennis champion at the age of 63. You can still return to school and become a doctor or a teacher. You can start your life as a writer or artist by sitting down right now with pen or brush, signing up for classes, and joining art and writing groups. You can do or become anything you want. You are only restricted by your hesitation and fear.

With this unwavering belief that anything is possible, along with a few tips and tricks like the ones you can find in How to Ignite Your Passion for Living, there is nothing you can’t accomplish. Just let go of all your excuses and limiting beliefs and start making them real today. A child wouldn’t wait and neither should you.

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